@ZEDDOILOHello and welcome. Sadly, I'm afraid Neir is not acceptable as a character. There are
many reasons why this is, but I'll try to list as many as I can, as neatly as I can, and you can decide whether you want to edit and fix these things, or try making a different character entirely.
So, let's begin.
1. The most glaring issue is that Neir is portrayed as incredibly powerful and capable. This is rather unfitting, as he is a Level 20 individual, who is roughly on par in terms of power to an average Orc Warrior, or in case of humans, slightly better than a standard soldier with training in a regular army. The feats and powers that Neir would need in order to pull off the things he has done does not fit with his actual level.
2. It seems Neir belongs to a family that has power over three continents. I'm not sure if you mistook continents for provinces, because a continent is a very larghe place - and if they have power over three of them, that would mean they had power over several other nations, kingdoms and empires - which I seriosuly doubt they could.
3. Neir's history does not seem to add up. He was a prodigy who was essentially betrayed by his parents to become an assassin. he was then broken mentally and brainwashed to become a puppet - which would squander any mental gifts or impressive academic faculties he may have had - so as to become a trained killer. He was then used to kill his parents, who attempted to curse him to prevent this, but the curse changed because of his mind and became something else... And THEN, that curse for some reason caused an experiment to make him regain his consciousness and will, which sent him into a berserker rage - even though his Personality-part states that he's cold, calm and always in control. I'm sorry, but curses don't work that way, they don't change depending on a person's mind or mental state. And how could there be a ritual that caused him to regain his self awareness, when his parents attempted the curse while being attacked by him and in a panic? Were they aware of how the Order operated and what experiments they were doing, and so could plan ahead and lay a trap so that Neir would destroy the Order after he killed them? That seems very unlikely too, as there was no mention in the history that his parents ever had any dealings with the Order prior to sending their own son there...
4. Neir is an Arcane Assassin, but there's no mention of spellcraft or arcane studies in his history. It is also stated that he is incredibly patient and can wait decades for a plan to work out... But he's a human... ANd he's 19 years old... How does that add up? I mean, sure, if you meant is a metaphor and as something that
would be the case in a future, hypothetical scenario, sure. But it still seems odd.
5. A "Strategist" is not a Hand-to-Hand fighter, they're people who plan and calculate how to best use tools, resources and manpower to achieve victory over an opponent. This seems like a very odd skill for an assassin to have, as assassins do not lead large forces or groups, but rather as singular individuals focused on murdering specific other individuals.
6. He is listed as a savvy businessman, but there is no mention of him receiving training, education or having had any contact with merchants and/or traders of any sort. Also, this again seems like an odd thing for an assassin to have, as they typically just take a predetermined sum of money which is - typically - based on the difficulty of eliniating their target.
7. Given his personality, mannerisms and mental state, I find it hard to see an individual such as this joining up with a random group of strangers, who most likely will not have any interest in becoming hired killers or executioners of some self-imposed sense of justice and order. I don't mind gloomy, stoic or unsocial characters, they're usually some of my favorites in other media, but in a roleplay they tend to not work very well, because if you're not intereacting with others,. they won't likely interact much with you
There are other minor issues, but these are the
most blatant issues I have with the character. He simply seems too strong, too powerful, too good and skilled at everything and has several contradictory elements to him.
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