Hardware:
- one (1) place to write and then post the finished product
- (Optional) Background music to set the writing mood

Ingredients: (* = Required) (# = Use one or the other, not both. Beware of overloads)
- *At least one (1) living character with which to interact with the IC world (pre-prepared)
- *Three (3) teaspoons of Grammar and correct spelling (so as to avoid a strangely-worded or unreadable final product)
- *A reasonable amount (4-5 tablespoons) of plot flexibility (in case things don't work out exactly how you planned)
- #One (1) cup Sugar (to make your post sweet!)
- #Two (2) tablespoons concentrated essence of Awe (to make your posts awe-some!)
- Descriptionary details (just enough to draw readers into the setting)
- Plot development
- Angst
- Drama
- Suspense
- Comedy (highly recommended for most posts!)
- Sass/Saracasm

Instructions
1.) Grease a small glass pan with oil or shortening and preheat the oven to 350- er, sorry. Wrong recipe.
2.) Thoroughly mix all required ingredients in a large bowl. Set aside.
3.) Choose either Sugar or Awe, and use that to coat the base of your post. Make sure to spread it out evenly!
(If using sugar, mix with water to create a paste. If using awe concentrate, water may help thin it out a bit as well to make spreading easier. WARNING: Beware of watering down the post too much!)
4.) Pour mixed required ingredients into post.
5.) Fill any cracks with Descriptionary details.
6.) Sprinkle with Plot development to taste and top with any Angst, Drama, Suspense, Comedy, or Sass/Saracasm as you see fit.
7.) Serve!

Your Original Post:
Tempest arrived at Hyall on its outskirts, by using the winds after using an altar to travel between realms. She walked into town and kept her eye out so she doesn’t bump into anyone, even though it’s pretty congested nonetheless. She carefully kept her eye out for certain things including someplace to take it easy. ”I need to relax some,” Tempest thought to herself.

She was a bit too distracted with her thought and she bumped into someone in the middle of the pathway. While heading towards the nearest inn from the entrance of the town. Her facial expression was slightly embarrassed when she had done so. ”I’m sorry for bumping into you,” Tempest said, politely. She was hopeful this person would allow her to go on.

Major Errors:

• (misuse of) Prepositions
• Unnecessary detail
• Missing detail
• Self contradiction

My Edit:
Tempest arrived on the outskirts of Hyall, the winds and altars used to travel between realms delivering her safely there. She walked into town, keeping an eye out so she wouldn’t bump into anyone. The crowd was pretty congested today. She looked around as she wandered for certain things in the shop windows- including someplace to take it easy. "I need to relax some," She thought to herself.

Even though she had been trying to make sure she wouldn't bump into someone, the shiny trinkets and overpriced dresses in the shop windows distracted her. She blushed at her own clumsiness as she and the stranger ended up stopping in the middle of the street. "I’m sorry for bumping into you." Tempest said politely. She was hopeful that this person would just forgive her and allow her to go on.