Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Bartimaeus
Raw
Avatar of Bartimaeus

Bartimaeus Femboy Gaming

Member Seen 19 min ago

nvm
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
OP
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Dead Cruiser looking at a couple of things though, it doesn't add up that she has never fought a nomad before. Here's a brief excerpt from the Nomads and Ki section.

"The nomad has become a staple of global pop culture in the last century or so. he name 'nomad' refers to a wandering warrior with fantastical powers, a vagabond who, for one reason or another, travels the world seeking new fights and new challenges. They have epic showdowns, they participate in international martial arts tournaments, and they are features in movies, TV shows, and airport paperbacks. On Earth, there are superheroes, and supersoldiers, and ki-wielding doctors, but none of them have quite captured the public eye (or been as heavily commercialized) as the nomad."

And a part of your backstory.

"As a result, Makoto was a somewhat rebellious youth. She enjoyed gambling and other mild delinquent behavior, often skipped classes, and spent her weekends in nearby cities trying to pick fights with tough-looking passerby."

If she went to nearby cities, wouldn't she have known about these martial arts tournaments and all these amazing and wacky fighters? Wouldn't she try to search for a nomad to fight? Regardless, until I see a revision on her fighting style, moveset, and weaknesses, I'm going to have to reject Makoto for now.


@Lmpkio no problem, but to correct something small... you mentioned if there was a fire type nomad by him he could switch elements. I would say it's more like he tricks them into lighting up the environment with their fire in any way possible, through leading their attacks to certain items (i.e. something like a large puddle of oil) and so on. Also, I will say the reason I said Earth was default is because he could pretty easily access it in most environments.

Regardless, that's all I wanted to say, but glad I could help out.


Will get to the rest later, midst of class.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
Raw
Avatar of Lmpkio

Lmpkio Kaiju Expert

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@Lmpkio no problem, but to correct something small... you mentioned if there was a fire type nomad by him he could switch elements. I would say it's more like he tricks them into lighting up the environment with their fire in any way possible, through leading their attacks to certain items (i.e. something like a large puddle of oil) and so on. Also, I will say the reason I said Earth was default is because he could pretty easily access it in most environments.

Regardless, that's all I wanted to say, but glad I could help out.


Makes sense if they are opponents.

But alas, I believe I made the necessary changes to my character. I think he's ready. :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
Raw
Avatar of Dead Cruiser

Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Savo Makoto is from the backwoods of Japan, so it's wouldn't think it's unreasonable that she hadn't encountered a nomad before. Or perhaps she has, but they made have been weak or scummy nomads (what respectable warrior would pick a fight with a high school girl?), that she managed to surprise or overwhelm.

I'm not sure how you expect me to revise it, given that your sole criticism seems to be how strong she is. I've told you exactly how strong she is: quite strong in some areas, but generally middling overall. She's a rushdown fighter that mundane humans don't stand a chance against, but she lacks technique, forethought, and endurance when fighting nomads.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
OP
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by Savo>

Makes sense if they are opponents.

But alas, I believe I made the necessary changes to my character. I think he's ready. :D


I'll review him once more when the thread goes up in a few hours; don't forget to get your approval from all three of us as well. If all of us see nothing wrong, you can post it in the character sheet section.

@Savo Makoto is from the backwoods of Japan, so it's wouldn't think it's unreasonable that she hadn't encountered a nomad before. Or perhaps she has, but they made have been weak or scummy nomads (what respectable warrior would pick a fight with a high school girl?), that she managed to surprise or overwhelm.

I'm not sure how you expect me to revise it, given that your sole criticism seems to be how strong she is. I've told you exactly how strong she is: quite strong in some areas, but generally middling overall. She's a rushdown fighter that mundane humans don't stand a chance against, but she lacks technique, forethought, and endurance when fighting nomads.


I'm just going to condense this all into a hider.




With that said, @Valor, @Bartimaeus, and @A Lowly Wretch. I have to apologize that I haven't gotten around to setting up my review of your characters. I was hoping to do it before completely setting up the main ooc thread, but as it turns out that might not happen since the main thread is coming up soon. Please post your complete character sheets there.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Bartimaeus
Raw
Avatar of Bartimaeus

Bartimaeus Femboy Gaming

Member Seen 19 min ago

ehh..I think ima have to retract my interest, as i'm currently in an Open world sand box, plus 3 other RPs. too much on my plate i think. sorry for that
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
OP
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

ehh..I think ima have to retract my interest, as i'm currently in an Open world sand box, plus 3 other RPs. too much on my plate i think. sorry for that


I just saw your pm. I'm sorry about that, I didn't see it until a few minutes ago. I understand though and I'm sorry I never got around to properly reviewing your sheet. Regardless, good luck in your future endeavors dude and hope to see you around some time! And sorry for the ping and this one too.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
OP
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

Alright @A Lowly Wretch @Lmpkio @Valor @Dead Cruiser @DracoLunaris, enough beating around the bush. The time is finally here and your characters stories begin here! Get ready for a fight or a bizarre adventure, because...



Is open!... also, the title is clickable.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lmpkio
Raw
Avatar of Lmpkio

Lmpkio Kaiju Expert

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

<Snipped quote by Lmpkio>

I'll review him once more when the thread goes up in a few hours; don't forget to get your approval from all three of us as well. If all of us see nothing wrong, you can post it in the character sheet section.


Of course. *thumbs up*
1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
Raw
Avatar of Dead Cruiser

Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Savo I can see the issue how, and it's you're reading too literally into what I wrote in her CS. As I've mentioned previously, much of that is meant to be parodic, jokes essentially. I thought that by elucidating exactly how strong I meant her to be in my previous posts that you would understand that what I wrote in her CS were exaggerations. She can't literally destroy Mt Fuji, that's all hype. I'll admit that this is a problem of my own short-sightedness, as I was just trying to have a little fun while writing her. For the sake of ease, for now ignore all of my hyperbole in her CS and consider this to be her power level:

@Savo By Nomad standards, she's pretty good, definitely remarkable in terms of sheer physical ability, but is far from the end-all-be-all.


Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
OP
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by Dead Cruiser>


Too literally then. Sorry then, I took the parodic version a bit too far in my mind based on what she could do. Since I have a better baseline level, like really above average but not near being the greatest, that gives me a better understanding of her abilities.

Move her to the main thread for the full review, as for now I'll just simplify my two current problems and get back to you in the thread with the full explanation. The weakness she has and the descriptions. I know what you said about hyperboles, so I'll get to you on it in the main chat.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by redbaron1234
Raw

redbaron1234 Full of Pluck

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@Valor
Hello Necron! While I dont mind the reference at all, I do have a few concerns. In his backstory you mention that he was part of a race that waged a war for an ancient machine god, and given his age it sounds like he was part of a major (if his 3-4 digit kill count is anything to go off of) war in the late 9th century. This kinda conflicts with what we have going for the Alternate History aspects of this RP. Namely that the broad strokes of history are the same as our reality, just with ki using individuals. The Boxer Rebellion had wire fu but was still put down, Robin Hood was a ki infused archer, etc. Hell even Margot's backstory basically puts her family on the front lines of French history. Thus having such a major war in the middle ages conflicts with that idea.

I am willing to keep that war happening at that point in time if you could elaborate how the Machine God's army was stopped, and maybe go into more detail as to how widespread it was. Another simple idea would be to make him much older and make his age vague beyond "Mythically old". While I doubt that a war of this scope would be forgotten even if it happened in the late 800's AD, I would buy it being something that happened in prehistoric times or earlier. Ultimately you are going to have to massage the war into history a bit.

Fighting Style and Moveset wise, Malus is a Mighty Melee Glacier. Hard hitting, and can take a hit, but slow as hell. I like this a lot, so far it is novel to this RP. My main two issues are living metal and the shield. The effect of post battle regeneration is fine but I would put some clear limits on how effective it is in battle. Speed, extent of healing, concentration, 'charges' etc. I prefer healing in battle be fairly limited. Similar deal with the shield. For a character that has a weakness to zoners, he has a pretty hard zoner counter. I would like to see something like him having limited mobility or offense, or having a 'life bar' to the shield.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by redbaron1234
Raw

redbaron1234 Full of Pluck

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@A Lowly Wretch

Okay, Long ass backstory but at least I know you can write. One quick formatting note. In order to get the horizontal lines to display properly, make sure to remove the space to make them display properly.

The other big point is that I feel you should move his powers to the special moves section, and make them explicit moves. I think that having someone whose main schtick is sustaining power is fun, though I do request that you explicitly state that Al needs to maintain concentration or something to heal. 5-10 seconds us a long time in a fight, after all. Aprt from that, if you are comfortable with him having no special or power moves, I am fine with it too.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by BayRat
Raw
Avatar of BayRat

BayRat Oh No

Member Seen 6 days ago

-Didn't realize the ooc was up-
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet