Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Archetype Zero
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Archetype Zero 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕺𝖓𝖊

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@Nate1008 I am also being honest when I say your product is subpar to the rest of our own; it needs improvement. It needs explanation. You've said you have an infested hdreadnaught already, what is it? You've said you can infest machinery, how? You've said your massive lifeforms exist, how? You've said growths can take over technology, how? You've said it replaces technology, how? A lot of people might argue how your infestation hasn't been dealt with yet, but I suppose an ion storm is enough explanation to make me satisfied to some degree. But, have you seen and taken inspiration from what others have created? Have you read what you'll be interacting with? Have you thought about their quality? Have you reflected your own?

It is clear you want to be the big bad, but you can't establish that before the roleplay starts like you've done. It is nonsensical, frankly. If you've said you appreciate my responses, then I'll be franker. You cannot shove what you want before others as if your work is more important, and your vision is superior to others. You said you're a minor belligerent, do you know what that means? You said you'll later become a major one, but do you know what the minor/neutral/major belligerent classification even is? Frankly, I doubt it. It pertains to the obviously stated stance of a nation during the great war. If you are a minor, you partook, you obviously didn't. If you're a major one, you prevailed, and you obviously didn't, and can't, since you cannot suddenly become a prevailing power in a great war that has already happened over the course of the roleplay.

Your importance and prevalence in the story is established IN THE STORY, perhaps to your surprise. Collaborative writing like this is a collaborative effort, and the GM's vision guides the setting, and you have obviously ignored it to degrees I find unsatisfactory. Your nation exists in a vacuum, its story doesn't relate to anything established, and the only tie-in it has with anything is the format of the NS. This isn't a sandbox where suddenly nations start existing independent of eachother; the GM has said that nations will interact with eachother, and have some sense of awareness of eachother. Your infestation does not abide. It is unsatisfactory in that aspect amongst others.

I will not go through the same painstaking process of Sierra where he previously mentioned every portion of your sheet and critiqued it with eloquence impossibly to myself (I do not have the patience). I am responding to you because whilst you seem a kindred spirit, you seem unaware of what you've produced in relation to what this roleplay requires and has already provided.

Improve your quality of content. That is the only real way for you to probably be accepted or approved; what you've provided will not be approved. People are a lot kinder than myself in their understanding, I am not. I will not try and sugar-coat the fact that you've provided something unsatisfactory, and saying this probably conflicts with another rule provided by Ozerath: to be kind to eachother. Kindness is alien to me, and I frankly do not comprehend it to the same degree that most others, but I am self-aware enough to understand that I am not satisfactory in that regard, and what people think of me in that regard and how I am dealt with is understandable in severity.

But I feel you lack my same sense of, admittedly warped, self-awareness.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Archetype Zero
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Archetype Zero 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕺𝖓𝖊

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@Nate1008 You read what we say, but do not think about it. It seems like your thoughts hover across what you read, and you do not take in its intention. I said your FTL isn't the only issue, and whilst you've fixed it, but you didn't fix anything else. That is one of the points.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Oraculum
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Oraculum Perambulans in tenebris

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@Nate1008 Let's be clear on this from the start, I'm not trying to be confrontational here. I'm not aiming to offend or insult anyone. However, I feel this subject is degenerating in a way that isn't healthy for this RP's environment, and I'd like this to be resolved before it gets any worse. From your sheets and replies, I'm getting a sense of some attitudes that don't mesh with the spirit of what we've got going here, and I'll try to explain why I think they are a problem.

First off is the fact that, despite acknowledging people's advice and criticism, you aren't consistently acting on it. Yes, the bio-FTL has been fixed, but that's the least of the problems here. Sierra has pointed out, long ago, that "infesting" and taking over people's things is lazy writing, and I'd add that it's borderline powergaming unless there's an agreement between the players; you've added more original elements and units, which is good, but all the infested stuff is still there and listed as if it's a regular thing for your nation to field. Multiple people have pointed out that a nation that's not capable of interaction other than mindless fighting is not interesting or desirable in a collaborative setting; you had added hints of it being possible to communicate and form agreements with it in earlier versions, but have removed them again. Those were actually improvements. If you're going to get rid of anything, it'd be much better if it was the overaggressive part.

Next up is your approach to the RP on the whole. Your faction is built to be blindly murderous, being formed by hive-minded animals and zombies. The issue here is that this is an advanced, character-driven RP, as you would see from reading the IC posts, or, for that matter, even the OP. This is not a thread where every post is supposed to read like an AAR from a tabletop wargame. Players portray their nation through characters who go through their own plots and stories, move through the shared world we build, face their own struggles reflecting those of the nation they live in, maybe even grow and develop, and, most importantly, interact with each other. Sure, it can be as straightforward as soldiers shooting each other on a battlefield (and even then it doesn't have to be simple - war isn't easy on people), but beyond that there's whole realms of diplomacy, subtle power struggles and political intrigue, which you're completely cutting yourself away from. Heck, these characters don't have to be just regular people - hive-minded beings with a hundred bodies or incorporeal AI can be just as interesting to write as, but that takes dedication and effort to do in an engaging way. Without real personalities to work with, and a singular hive mind isn't going to cut it, you will eventually find yourself with nothing to write besides dreary exposition, and that's not going to be fun for anyone.

You said you like playing as destructive factions who are everyone's enemy. I don't want to sound condescending here, but how many times have you done that before now? Speaking as someone who has created and used that kind of thing a few times, being a common foe is something that takes a lot of work collaborating with other players and, if necessary, the GMs to make sure that things stay fair and interesting for everyone. A faction like this needs to be plausible (i.e. "what's stopping everyone from wiping it out as soon as they can if it's such a threat?"), balanced (i.e. the answer to the above is not "because it's just that strong and could stomp any other single nation"), and, above all, interesting. That, I find, is the Scar's main failing. Your sheet is extremely threadbare in everything outside the military section; your nation has no depth to it beyond its ability for mindless violence. A hivemind is a difficult thing to write as, sure, but if you can make it work it can have a great deal of mystery, terror and unnatural mystique to it in every detail, to be explored, puzzled out, contended with on its own terms, and maybe understood. Instead, all you can offer to other players willing to interact with you is "shoot the gnashing monsters", and that's not interesting or appealing for anyone looking for a deeper story, which people in advanced RPs generally do.

This ties into another thing I've noticed about your sheets. You mention things like "tech research requirements", precise numbers of weapons per ship and earlier on things like "less hull integrity and less shield", which look like they're out of a video game. The process for infestation you described is also very gamey, with people having to complete some objective within a set time or else they lose their ships and have no more say in that. That's not how RPs like this work. This is not a video game, this is a story collaboratively written by people who add their contributions to a shared plot and setting. When there are conflicts like battles, the participants agree on an outcome based on plot and circumstances before writing it out. Saying things like "I do this, and you can't do anything about it besides trying to meet some arbitrary conditions that I decide, and that's that" is extremely bad form, if not outright godmodding. That's how things might work in a video game with rigid rules where the computer regulates everything, but we're not playing one here.

Finally, there's your take on the sci-fi genre. Of course, it's a genre built on impossibilities, more so in a space opera like this one where things like FTL and forcefields are common. However, as Archetype pointed out, this isn't just fiction, it's science fiction. This means that technologies, no matter how wild, need to be grounded on a minimally plausible explanation. It can be pseudoscience, or something that only works in the RP's setting, or even just some vaguely technical-sounding words, but if you present something that would normally be impossible, you need to establish a principle holding it up, which you haven't done. The rhino monster is the most obvious example (and on a sidenote, I really don't think you realise what kind of numbers you're talking there; 24 km is 4 Mounts Everest on top of each other - nobody has cruisers that big, the organs you described for it are microscopic in comparison, and reasonably it would need centuries, if not millennia to grow to that size, not 60 years). But there's also things like winged monsters flying and making sounds in space, or organs somehow merging with a ship to control it and make it become alive, which make no physical sense on their own and are never explained in any way. Going more in depth about things like these would help flesh out your faction and actually make it more interesting to work with, but you've ignored them entirely.

So, before you start another rewrite, I recommend you give these issues some thought and reconsider your approach to the RP.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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@Nate1008 I'm very sorry to say that I cannot accept this sheet. I feel an infestation faction may be too advanced for you, and I would suggest a more "normal" faction, like your standard human or alien civilization. And heck, you could even do a hivemind faction, but I would suggest dropping the infestation theme and restrict the hivemind to that one species.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Keyguyperson
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Keyguyperson Welcome to Cyberhell

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Finally done with this! I wish I could have gone into some more detail with my ground forces, history of engagements, weapon examples and whatnot but I only have around two thousand characters left in the post size limit so I just didn't have the room.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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@Keyguyperson Very impressive work! You're approved and can move the sheet over :)
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
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@Nate1008 I'm very sorry to say that I cannot accept this sheet. I feel an infestation faction may be too advanced for you, and I would suggest a more "normal" faction, like your standard human or alien civilization. And heck, you could even do a hivemind faction, but I would suggest dropping the infestation theme and restrict the hivemind to that one species.


Ok. This is fine. I will be recreating this race. I will be removing the infested people. I will be making something like the Tyranids, Aliens from AvP and the Harvesters from Stardust. Thank you for the information. As for the infested thing. I definitely need to work on it. Is it ok if my faction did not have any ships to begin with, and they research it later on? Also, can my faction be currently undiscovered? Again, thanks. I will add my new faction sheet here later. Please tell me anything i need to fix. I will be working with another person to help improve my faction. If this does not work out, I have another machine race alternative.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Archetype Zero
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Archetype Zero 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕺𝖓𝖊

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Hah.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
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I have recreated the Sathrican Scar to some ant-like aliens. They create Hives and have Queens, hunt, and expand. Their ultimate goal is to expand across the universe and become one of the first races to go to space without their own ship. They dont exactly make allies, but it is possible. They swarm with great numbers, but are weak and are afraid of fire. Yay................

Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
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Never mind. I have been banned from this topic apparently. so.... bye. I guess ill just go join something else ill get kicked out of too.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by laserX
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laserX High Functioning Sociopath

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I don't see the "banned" words under your name
what's going on here?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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@laserX Not banned from the site, rather not able to participate in this specific rp.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
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The GM told me in private message. He told me i should consider myself banned. He does not want to mess around with the ban feature. So he just told me im banned. I should probably stop posting now.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Archetype Zero
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Archetype Zero 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕺𝖓𝖊

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m
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by laserX
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laserX High Functioning Sociopath

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@Ozerath why'd you ban him?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Sierra
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For what it's worth I made it known I didn't approve of the phrasing used either @laserX.

Even while working with him one on one, I had my concerns about whether or not he could cut it here in the big leagues. The GMs evidently arrived at that opinion as well, and decided to act on it.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Archetype Zero
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Archetype Zero 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕺𝖓𝖊

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@laserX I think it is made clear why. Personal opinions aside.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Crispy Octopus
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Crispy Octopus Into the fryer we go.

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@Sigma@Ozerath

Posting this here because fuck, the mil section is hhhhaaarrrd. Everything that actually matters is (mostly) done.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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@Crispy Octopus I'd say you're set and can move it over :) Sheets aren't always 100% done, so you can edit the sheet at your pace as we go along in the rp.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ozerath
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Ozerath U WOT M8?

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@Sigma What's your progress on a post? I've got the political component of a second one ready to go but I'll hold up if you're close to responding at Agdemnar.
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