Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by The Fated Fallen
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The Fated Fallen Doesn't know what to put here

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God, I wish I spoke dosh!

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Greshh
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@The Fated Fallen Maybe I can teach you when the team gets some down time.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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@Zarkun Ren speaks Dosh? Cragdor approves!


You work with all types as a mercenary. Best to understand them.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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@Gcold While it's on my mind, the age is eight years after he got promoted. He's turned down a few promotion offers. Should I include that?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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@Gcold While it's on my mind, the age is eight years after he got promoted. He's turned down a few promotion offers. Should I include that?


The current version of Scarlet Moons has only been around for six years, which means Ren would have served two years as a private, and four years after as corporal. I would lower his age by four.
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<Snipped quote by Zarkun>

The current version of Scarlet Moons has only been around for six years, which means Ren would have served two years as a private, and four years after as corporal. I would lower his age by four.


Done and the new CS with the edits has been posted in the post with the CS. Anything I missed?
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Done and the new CS with the edits has been posted in the post with the CS. Anything I missed?


All good! Our corporal is approved.

Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Blitzy
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@Gcold should be just about finished now.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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Approved, @Blitzy.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by The Fated Fallen
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The Fated Fallen Doesn't know what to put here

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I still think I've got several dozen grammatical errors but I think I've covered all the important bases. Let me know what needs changing! I know her civil war history may require expanding...
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Most of what I need is in place, @The Fated Fallen. Just fluff up her profile with some more meat and we're good to go. Here's what you can elaborate on:

  • How does Ashti carry herself? How does she maneuver in combat, and how does she act around her teammates?
  • Did she do anything to deliberately stunt her Force-sensitivity? Hiding her Force-sensitivity during the Battle of Endor, with Luke, Vader and Palpatine around, means she's nearly cut off from the Force. Another topic to explore is how Ashti's connection to the Force changed when she hid in Hutt Space.
  • For outlook and motivation, what's her take on the Rebel Alliance? Does the Rebellion measure up to the old Republic?
  • I assume Ashti learned many of her languages (such as Twiese, Rodian and Umbarese) during her exile?
  • Since she's part of the Alliance's first wave reinforcements to Scarlet Moons, we can say she arrived with Cleo's troops. If Ashti wants, she can get Cleo's referral and start at a higher rank. Otherwise, I can see her settling in as a private to stay anonymous. You can work with @POOHEAD189 on this part.


Very interesting take on your Force-sensitive character; I especially like the connection with Oshka! I'm excited to see the final iteration, and Ashti in action.

What do you say, @Zoey White?
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by The Fated Fallen
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Most of what I need is in place, @The Fated Fallen. Just fluff up her profile with some more meat and we're good to go. Here's what you can elaborate on:

  • How does Ashti carry herself? How does she maneuver in combat, and how does she act around her teammates?
  • Did she do anything to deliberately stunt her Force-sensitivity? Hiding her Force-sensitivity during the Battle of Endor, with Luke, Vader and Palpatine around, means she's nearly cut off from the Force. Another topic to explore is how Ashti's connection to the Force changed when she hid in Hutt Space.
  • For outlook and motivation, what's her take on the Rebel Alliance? Does the Rebellion measure up to the old Republic?
  • I assume Ashti learned many of her languages (such as Twiese, Rodian and Umbarese) during her exile?
  • Since she's part of the Alliance's first wave reinforcements to Scarlet Moons, we can say she arrived with Cleo's troops. If Ashti wants, she can get Cleo's referral and start at a higher rank. Otherwise, I can see her settling in as a private to stay anonymous. You can work with @POOHEAD189 on this part.


Alrighty, planned changes:
  • Ashti is friendly, if not outgoing. She's not necessarily the one to start a conversation but will happily join in. As for combat I'd imagine she goes with the mood. Mainly slow and methodical but if she gets an idea in her head she's going for it. Hard to describe in brief, so I'll think of a better way to put this into my CS
  • I'm probably just going to say she didn't fight on Endor. The only ways I can think she might have gotten rid of her force like that is drugs, which I don't really want my character to deal with, or technique, which is also weird to me. It's like saying "She stopped herself from being powerful by being powerful." Once again I'll have a think
  • Definitely worth me thinking about more than I did
  • I originally just put it down to "Learned a lot of languages as a Jedi," but the whole learning languages in exile is a much better angle to work with, will chuck that in my backstory at some point
  • Thanks for the tip! I'll definitely get on that, as long as that's okay with @POOHEAD189 (I have a sneaking suspicion he's going to be okay with a collab, even if he is a little busy these days.)


All in all thanks for the great feedback! A lot to work with and some really smart suggestions, thanks!
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Zoey Boey
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@The Fated Fallen

very cool. i hope she reconnects with the force someday. what color is her lightsaber? Or is that a cool surprise

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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by The Fated Fallen
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@The Fated Fallen

very cool. i hope she reconnects with the force someday. what color is her lightsaber? Or is that a cool surprise


I figure if I leave it to a cool surprise you'd all be disappointed. Honestly I was so against the idea of her using her lightsaber I didn't even think about the colour, but it'd be blue

Can't go wrong with a Blue Lightsaber
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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I figure if I leave it to a cool surprise you'd all be disappointed. Honestly I was so against the idea of her using her lightsaber I didn't even think about the colour, but it'd be blue


What if she spilled too much ketchup on it, that it became red?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by The Fated Fallen
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What if she spilled too much ketchup on it, that it became red?


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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Greshh
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Can't go wrong with a Blue Lightsaber


That's what I imagined. Plus, the Clone Wars era lightsaber colors were pretty limited. Everyone had either blue or green. Only Mace Windu and Huulik had purple, and Ahsoka Tano's shoto was a lime green. Tera Sinube's was a very very light blue, and the Jedi Temple guards had yellow mini staffs. Asajj Ventress also somehow got a yellow lightsaber off the black market, and I guess if you count the Dark Saber (I don't), there was black.

But yeah, blue works great. Not too fancy, and also blue raspberry favored.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by POOPHEAD189
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Fun fact: Adi Gallia's first lightsaber is red.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by POOHEAD189
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<Snipped quote by Gcold>

Alrighty, planned changes:

  • Ashti is friendly, if not outgoing. She's not necessarily the one to start a conversation but will happily join in. As for combat I'd imagine she goes with the mood. Mainly slow and methodical but if she gets an idea in her head she's going for it. Hard to describe in brief, so I'll think of a better way to put this into my CS
  • I'm probably just going to say she didn't fight on Endor. The only ways I can think she might have gotten rid of her force like that is drugs, which I don't really want my character to deal with, or technique, which is also weird to me. It's like saying "She stopped herself from being powerful by being powerful." Once again I'll have a think
  • Definitely worth me thinking about more than I did
  • I originally just put it down to "Learned a lot of languages as a Jedi," but the whole learning languages in exile is a much better angle to work with, will chuck that in my backstory at some point
  • Thanks for the tip! I'll definitely get on that, as long as that's okay with @POOHEAD189 (I have a sneaking suspicion he's going to be okay with a collab, even if he is a little busy these days.)


All in all thanks for the great feedback! A lot to work with and some really smart suggestions, thanks!


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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by redbaron1234
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Hey I just wanted to say I am still interested in joining. I was going to make a slicer character for this first part. A former ISB agent who got to to see first hand some of the Empire's oppressive Brutality firsthand, and it ate away at his conscience. Alderan was the final straw that turned him into a double agent, only to be discovered some time before Endor. Now he uses his skills to help the Alliance and help him sleep at night.

How does that sound for a character concept?
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