Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Isotope
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Isotope I am Spartacus!

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Khan did you set that link to temporary?

discord.gg/JauPz4P

Is the permanent link.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by GreivousKhan
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GreivousKhan Deus Vult

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<Snipped quote by GreivousKhan>

Yeah, I can't access that.


Derp, I did not notice it was a temp one. Well, it was like 4 in the morning when I posted that chatroom so that's my excuse for not noticing right away.

CHATROOM LINK WILL NO LONGER EXPIRE.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by CaptainBritton
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CaptainBritton Man of War

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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Darkspleen
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Darkspleen I am Spartacus

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Here's what I have thus far for my archon. Obviously still a work in progress, but there's definitely enough done to see what direction I'm going in.


Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Goldeagle1221
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Goldeagle1221 I am Spartacus!

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Archon of war: WIP

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

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To be reviewed.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Vahir
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Vahir

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To be reviewed.



Yeah, hopefully Kuth won't be Lysvita's overlord, because that would cause some seriously belligerent workplace conflict.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Isotope
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I mean, no matter my overlord there`s going to be FUN MEETINGS
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by GreivousKhan
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GreivousKhan Deus Vult

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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by GreivousKhan
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@Darkspleen

Alright here's how you grade from top to bottom (34, 65, 77 ;)

Personality and Drive

This is rather short and to the point. You gave an (albeit very) basic idea of who your character is but I feel I don't get a real insight into the kind of person she is, still, I suppose the bare basics there.

5/10

History

Always a tough section for everyone and I know you struggled with this one. The main thing I look for here is if you hit all the points in the accession into a true Archon. It seems it touches on some of it, but I personally felt she came into her power a bit too quickly with little work. A natural talent would have worked, but I feel this was not made clear. She kind of just got the power a little out of nowhere and there was no talk of her being a natural born prodigy. In all this part kind of missed it for me.

6/10

Armaments

This is where things picked up for me. The first item is suitably creative, though I feel there are no discernible drawbacks except maybe available mana. The second item is at least a bit better as it comes down to a will resistance. Also, an obsidian dagger that was given to someone by Izalith... Sounds familiar XF lol

Stil you stay'd true to your characters themes. They are also fairly creative compared to what I've come across so far so bonus points there.

8/10


Discipline

I think I said all I needed to when I first reviewed this. A solid discipline befitting an Archon with all the flexible a school of magic should have while not being too insane. Also, who doesn't love transmutation?

8.5/10

Abilities

Covers everything I would need to know. Once again befitting an Archon while her limitations make sense given her expertise.

10/10

---

Final: 36.5

Your strongest attribute is clearly your creativity which is exactly the kind of thing a player of an Archon will need. That and activity, which is not something I'm worried about with you.

(Now without adding in the armament section the score actually 29.5)

@Dead Cruiser

Alright for the Edgelord himself. Kuth!

Personality and Drive

Well damn, I have to say this is one well-detailed app. I easily get a sense of who he is and what he wants. He has the exact kind of attitude an Archon needs to thrive in the Empire enflamed with the kind of ambition you might expect from just powerful beings as Archons.I have a strong feeling he will be a character many people will love to hate. Which is a win in itself really, as one can already see people have opinions about the man and the Rp has yet to even start.

10/10

History

There are not many parts in this sheet I find offense with. At worst I can say you took some liberties, but you did voice what you had planned beforehand anyway. Another strong section.

9/10

Armaments

So when I said there were few parts I could find any fault in, well this is not one of them since you never added any armaments to your app. I'll just have to pause this section and judge it later for fairness. Which could turn out to be a make or break depending. Since I'm already on the roll with this I might as well continue though.

-/10

Discipline

Blood magic.

Not too much reinventing the wheel here but you can't go wrong with a classic. The addition of the coven was an excellent touch and really expanded on the theme you were building already and fits solidly with the setting.

8/10

Abilities

This gives the run down of his capabilities quite nicely and I get a since this will be one scary dude all things considered. Never mind he rides a flippin skeletal dragon.

10/10

Overall: 37

I really enjoyed reading this app, it might just be the simple cause that it's well organized and I like necromancy though.

@Klomster

Alright, the last one up the Archon of Metal. (And possibly Rock n or rolling.)

Personality and Drive

I felt he had the right atitude for an Archon, but this section was rather lackluster in detail and length. I did not learn too much of the kind of person (or clockman) he was beside the fact he rules by fear and is made for war.

3/10

History

This goes into a real step by step rise to power that actually goes rather well into how one eventually becomes an Archon and is possibly the only one that shows so many stages. It's rather let down by the strange structuring of the app though that makes it hard to read.

7/10

Armaments

Have to say not very imaginative and a bit lackluster here. Lucky enough Dead is lazy and did not finish this section and I did not notice until I started. :p

-/10

Discipline

Now I think I went over most of the things that I did find strange or lacking in this Archons abilities. We have blood magic, polymorphing, shadow hopping, and a sleeping warrior who needs no introduction. While I love the look and feel of this Archon overall, from his name to his aesthetics do scream cool. His discipline lets him down heavily. His ability currently was more along the lines of a hero rather than an Archon. Since he is lacking magically offensive wise his durability alone would still have him around the level of an Exarch.

3/10

Abilities

Once again the abilities and powers perfect for an Exarch, but come short greatly for a juggernaut like an Archon. Summoning weapons and armor as an idea is interesting, but as the sample spells provided it is purely a support magic instead of something more flexible. At least as far as I understood it.

2/10

Overall: 15

Alright, so Darkspleen and DeadCruiser's app's are approved for the positions of Archon. Which means all Archon spots are now filled.

Klomster please feel free to keep your character and idea as it still fits the setting overall, however, there can only be so many Archons in the RP. I hope there are no hard feelings, but I did make it clear only two spots were open.

I will also like to add I tried to be as impartial as possible in this, thus I left it up to points and pointed out what exactly I found lacking or wanting as to why/how I came to my decision. If anyone has any problems or such to bring up please PM me. If not we'll continue onto the OOC. Which will be up TOMORROW at the latest. Feel free to make land grabs now Archon's and for Exarch players to pick your flavor of Archon poison.

Edit: and yes I know I left out one section, but I don't think it being included would have made a difference to the end result.


1x Thank Thank
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Isotope
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Isotope I am Spartacus!

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WIP



Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Pepperm1nts
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Pepperm1nts Revolutionary Rabblerouser

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Lots of illusion mages, it seems.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Isotope
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Isotope I am Spartacus!

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@Pepperm1nts

:O

o no who else is
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Pepperm1nts
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Actually, just your character and the Archon of Shadow, now that I read more carefully. It felt like more people because a lot of the sheets mention deception, and the Archon of Change's powers sound a little like illusions, but I guess they technically aren't.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Klomster
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Klomster The man, the myth, the legend.

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@GreivousKhan Naaw :/

I do understand your problem with the strange structuring, i often forget to add enough description so people know what i as a writer want the reader to focus on. Resulting in at times there are places where i have thought about what it is about, but never told the reader.
Which is confusing.

As for the armaments, i guess i shot myself in the foot with his background. Seeing i saw him as not having super epic artifacts to begin with.
Also i guess i misinterpreted how powerful he was supposed to be.

And for the magic Discipline. It was kinda a lot like.
-"Wait, i'm supposed to do a magic school? Errrrrr.... let's do THIS!!" *Throws something together*
Also there is some attack magic, i just didn't make any example spell. But you are right in it mostly being support.

But, i'll see if i make an Exarch.

I'll put up the Archon of METAL! For people's reading pleasure.



Cheers.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Goldeagle1221
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Goldeagle1221 I am Spartacus!

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2x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Isotope
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Isotope I am Spartacus!

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OOC is up.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by GreivousKhan
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GreivousKhan Deus Vult

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