[IC] Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

[Rogue Sloth]

When Iris said he made her feel safe, Caspian couldn’t help but smile. He wasn’t sure why she felt that way around him, especially since she had been the one to save him multiple times now, but he liked knowing that she did. He’d never thought of himself as the type to be looked up to as a protector, since he’d spent his whole life being looked after by the royal security team and doted on by people who treated him like he was fragile. Hearing that someone actually thought he was capable of keeping her safe was new. It stirred something inside of him that made him want to live up to her expectations too.

Shifting his weight, he noticed the redness that flushed her fair skin and wondered if she’d misunderstood what he’d meant when he’d agreed with her about looking for shelter. He really had been talking about looking for a real bed, but the stammer in his voice might have been misleading. He fidgeted awkwardly with the blanket beneath him. While he couldn’t deny that the thought of “sharing a bed” had crossed his mind a few times, he wasn’t trying to push for anything like that when they had just gotten back together. Thinking about it made his heart race, but he wasn’t that impatient. Besides, he wasn’t sure if it was even a good idea, given their circumstances. They didn’t exactly have access to protection, and having an “accident” while they were on the run from the rebellion was a risk he didn’t want to face.

Not wanting to give her the wrong idea, he cleared his throat awkwardly. “I, uh, I didn’t mean…” he trailed off, inwardly cursing himself for being unable to say the words to her. Around his friends, he had no trouble joking around about the subject, but talking about it to someone he actually wanted to be with intimately made him feel hot under the collar. Forcing himself to get over it, he went on, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea. Truth is, I’ve never even shared a bed with someone before, so I just wasn’t expecting the suggestion. Not to say that I don’t want to. I just want to make sure you know I’m not trying to… well, you know…”

And the award for most uncomfortable conversation goes to Caspian Maydestone, he thought with chagrin, wishing he could just crawl under a rock and forget he’d even bothered to open his mouth. He’d thought that clearing the air would make things better, but apparently he was only good at making them worse. Eager to pretend like nothing had happened, he laid down next to Iris and pressed a hand to his face, hating how completely not-smooth-at-all he was. The media liked to make him out as some sort of royal playboy, but that couldn’t be further from reality. He was sure that if the reporters ever found out just how much he squirmed when the subject of being with a woman came up, they would have a field day.

Trying not to dwell on it, he focused on the feeling of Iris’s arm draped over his chest and the steady rise and fall of her torso beside him as she settled down to sleep. Although he was still feeling awkward because of his clumsy attempt to explain himself to her, he enjoyed the way her small frame fit against his side, and he closed his eyes, trying to relax a little while he waited for her to take her nap and wake up again, so they could check on her fever.

[sukikyoufu]

Even whilst she settled, she thought on his words, it seemed they had both become quite awkward over the matter of a bed. Whilst cuddling up to him she could still feel herself blush especially thinking on his words, “No… I know. I mean, I haven’t either and I didn’t mean to suggest sharing a bed.” Letting a sigh escape her lips as she felt utterly embarrassed over the matter, as much as she had dated Ethan she was certain she had never been that far with him and her memories only furthered that thought when she had remembered an argument on the matter. “Well… I guess Maisie counts, but nothing in that capacity.” Not wanting to dwell on the thought further she glanced up at Cas smiling, “Not that I’d not want too with you of course, I just didn’t realise how it came across as I wasn’t trying to suggest either.” Chuckling nervously as she felt a bit at ease hoping now the awkward conversation would not come up again after they had addressed it.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to become awkward.” Smiling up at him before she shifted her weight hugging him gently seeking solace in his warmth. Closing her eyes, she felt the exhaustion, she hadn’t noticed it because she had been worried about Cas and too wrapped up in her feelings for him to notice. Now resting beside him she could feel the dull ache of her body and how sore it had become, the dull pounding of her head as she closed her eyes trying to rest finding it easy to fall asleep holding him.

It had been a few hours and she had rested a little, there had been a few shuffles and whimpers of discomfort whilst she healed through the nap but overall, she had gotten the rest she had needed. With the warmth of Caspain beside her and the jumper she had borrowed from him it had been the help needed to start breaking her fever. As the hours passed, she had started the healing process and her temperature had dropped slightly as colour began to slowly return to her skin. Stirring Iris began to come back around from her nap, but in her half-asleep state she clung to the warmth of Cas, “Just five more minutes.” Mumbling to no one in particular as she tried to cling to the sleep she was enjoying.

Slowly she began to blink a few times before realisation hit that she was cuddled up to Cas, blushing furiously as she slowly sat herself up, she rubbed the back of her head nervously laughing, “A-Ah… sorry. I eh guess I was tired.” Smiling slightly as she looked towards him, she had never done something like that before but then she had never slept like that before. Resting how she did she didn’t have any problems, no nightmares, no disturbances or even trouble falling asleep. This had been the first time Iris had felt herself get some proper rest, but it all stemmed back for when she had told him how she felt safe with him. That had to be a part of how well rested she felt right now.

[Rogue Sloth]

While Iris slept against his side, Cas managed to move past the awkward moment as his thoughts wandered back to his unmade decision about going home. He didn’t want to rush into choosing one path over another, but it was difficult not to think about it when it was such an important choice. He still couldn’t believe his father wasn’t stopping everything to look for him. Even if Atlas hadn’t cared much about him as family, he’d thought the king would at least want to make sure he came back so he could take over the throne. There was no one else in the capital that was equipped or even allowed by law to do it in his place.

It was common knowledge that in Aspiria, only a blood relative or a spouse could succeed the crown after a ruler passed away. His father had always said he wasn’t going to take a second wife after his first passed away, and he didn’t trust any of his estranged siblings or their families enough to name one of them as his inheritor. Cas didn’t know the full story, but he’d heard about some sort of betrayal of trust that had happened between Atlas and one of his brothers decades ago that had provoked the monarch to write all but his immediate family out of his will. At the time, the king had thought he was protecting the crown in doing so, but now his decision to thin the royal line was coming back around to bite him. Never before had the monarchy been this vulnerable to being completely severed. It was why he couldn’t fathom a reason why his father didn’t seem to care whether his only heir survived or not.

Mulling over it for so long that he lost track of time, he was roused from his thoughts when he felt Iris stir against his side. He craned his neck to look down at her and smiled as she clung to him, still half asleep. No matter what was going on with his father, at least he could have some peace of mind with the knowledge that he wasn’t completely alone. “I didn’t tell you to get up,” he chuckled at her request for ‘five more minutes.’ Reaching up, he placed a hand on the arm she’d draped over his chest and stroked it gently until she finished waking up.

Suddenly, he felt her pull away from him, and he looked up at her bemusedly as she apologized to him. “I don’t know what you’re sorry about,” he said, sitting up beside her and stretching his limbs. He’d been comfortable lying next to her, but he’d gotten a little stiff because he’d been careful not to move so he wouldn’t wake her. “I made you wait for me when I took a nap first. It isn’t a big deal.”

Glancing up at the sky, he wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, but the sun seemed to be moving gradually toward the western horizon. It was probably late in the afternoon. “How are you feeling now?” he asked, turning back to Iris. She’d still felt hot pressed up against his side, but he couldn’t tell if it was because of her fever or because she was wearing two jackets while he was just in a snug t-shirt. He hoped the rest had helped her recover at least a little.

[sukikyoufu]

“I eh… I’m not even sure what I’m apologising for either.” Iris couldn’t help but chuckle as she smiled looking over at Cas as he stretched his limbs, she was happily rested and felt replenished from her nap. “I hope you’re not too stiff from my dead weight.” Chuckling to herself as she glanced up at the sky happy to see the sun was still out, perhaps it meant they could find more sustainable shelter from the night.

“I actually feel loads better, thank you for letting me use you as a pillow.” Grabbing the ends of the hoodie she had borrowed from him she pulled it off of her so now she was just in her usual layer of clothes and hopefully not overheat. There was no need for the two hoodies, not whilst she was feeling quite warm now. Holding out the warm fabric to Cas she passed it back to him so he could use it if he wanted, she hoped he hadn’t been cold whilst she slept comfortable wrapped up. “I hope you wasn’t cold especially with me hogging all the warmth.”

Sighing happily, she looked around for her water bottle grabbing it as she took a sip of the cool liquid. The fact that the drink had not made her stomach churn felt great and she could only assume this meant she was on the right track. Perhaps she wasn’t fully recovered, but she was feeling loads better from this morning and to her that was a good sign. “I actually feel a little peckish thinking on it. Which is great because I really didn’t want to eat earlier so I think I’ll be alright you know.” Placing the bottle of water down she leaned forward taking his hand in hers smiling, “How are you feeling?”

Even though she had the fever she was still concerned for him, especially with everything that had happened today. The whole idea of him now not wanting to go home did concern her, she knew in her heart he belonged back in the Capital but to suddenly hesitate now after it being something he wanted since being kidnapped. It unsettled her slightly because she knew it was playing on his mind, she wished she could help him through it. The mind could be unforgiving especially when you started to believe that your own family didn’t care about you anymore and she hoped she could support him.

“If you’re up for it we can look at moving a bit further? I can try to find us some shelter for the night.” Squeezing his hand in hers as she smiled just enjoying the fact, she could hold him again, touching his hand like this and how close they could be again. A part of her didn’t think it would be possible, not with him returning to the Capital and everything she had done but to know the fact she could be like this with him again was one of the best feelings she had felt in a long time. “Or we could stay here, cuddle up some more.” Feeling her cheeks heat up at the suggestion and how forward she was being.

[Rogue Sloth]

“I’m alright,” Cas shrugged when Iris said she hoped he wasn’t feeling stiff. He couldn’t say he was perfectly fine, since his shoulders did ache a little after he’d laid next to her on the ground for the past few hours, but the discomfort was already fading fast. He was sure it would go away completely after he gave it a couple more minutes. “You can use me as a pillow anytime,” he smiled at her as he took his hoodie back. Even though it wasn’t completely comfortable, he’d enjoyed the feeling of her body pressed up against his while she’d napped. He’d have no problem doing it again if she wanted to as well.

Sliding the jacket over his arms, he brightened as she said that her appetite had finally returned. “That’s great to hear,” he nodded, giving her hand a squeeze when she reached out to take his. He hoped that meant she was on the mend from whatever had been causing her fever. If it was just a twenty-four hour bug, they wouldn’t have to stay in one place longer enough to worry about getting caught by the rebels. Even though he still hadn’t made up his mind about whether or not he wanted to go back to the capital, his nervousness about being killed by the Scourge hadn’t disappeared. The rebels couldn’t know that he was having second thoughts about going home, after all.

“I’m feeling fine,” he answered her question vaguely. Thoughts of his father and of his home were still stirring around in the back of his mind, but physically, he was doing well enough. His injured arm was only a little sore, and laying down for a while had eased his bruises. He’d had better days, but given the circumstances, he couldn’t complain. After another night of decent sleep, he would be ready to keep moving to wherever she planned to lead him next.

At Iris’s suggestion of moving on to another place for shelter, Cas considered the options. The small camping setup she’d put together was peaceful, but it was a little too exposed for his taste. He had a feeling that after the sun went down, he was going to be concerned about letting himself sleep soundly when anyone could stumble into them during the night. If she was still feeling too sick to keep moving, he would put up with it, but otherwise, he had to admit that he preferred the thought of having a roof over his head while he slumbered.

“We can do that anywhere,” he leaned into her shoulder teasingly when she said they could keep cuddling if they stayed. “As romantic as it is to sleep under the stars, I think I’ll sleep better inside four walls and a roof. If you think you can handle walking a little more, we can keep looking.” Letting go of her hand, he picked up his water bottle and rose to his feet in preparation to pack up and go.

[sukikyoufu]

Iris chuckled as he stated she could use him as a pillow at any time, well she wasn’t complaining about that part because she had thoroughly enjoyed being cuddled up to him napping and she hoped he didn’t mind. It had been a great rest and on top of that she had felt safe in his arms, it was strange to feel that way, but it was also oddly soothing to her. It was also great on the fact she had felt hungry, her appetite was returning which could only mean she was on the mend. Perhaps it had just been a twenty-four-hour thing, she hoped so because being out in the open was not a choice for them. Not with the rebels that were still hunting them down.

Frowning slightly as she heard his vague answer she wanted to press on the matter, but decided it was best not too right now anyway and especially whilst they were so in the open. The wound had to still be fresh, his thoughts probably hadn’t helped, and she didn’t want to bring it up unless he felt comfortable. Though would he ever feel comfortable talking about it? Maybe I should ask when we have found more suitable shelter. Biting her lip as she began to pack up the items, they had used back into the backpack that was now holding a lot of items to help them survive. Hopefully she could find them more food and medicine, even though she knew that would be difficult she could still hold out hope to find such items.

“H-Hey! You are such a tease!” Blushing at his teasing as she couldn’t help but smile, she shook her head, “Maybe I won’t want to cuddle you. What will you do then huh?” Sticking her tongue out at him before she brushed herself down from all the dust and dirt of the day she looked towards the forest before back at the other end which led to the road. Considering their options, she would have to take them the roadway to get to the other district, considering the district they had just left had been destroyed and who knows what else the road would be left clear.

“I can handle it; I’m feeling much better this time round.” Iris smiled as she picked up the makeshift blanket folding it up so she could stuff it away in the backpack just in case they needed it later. The nights could get cold and depending on if they actually got some shelter, he could get a chill so at least they had something. “Come on, I have an idea on somewhere we could stay.” Hesitating for a moment she went to reach for his hand, something held her back from just taking it and that was the reasonable part of her. The part of her that was telling her to not get too attached because who knew what could happen. Pushing those thoughts into the back of her head she held his hand in hers gently and started to walk to lead them to somewhere which had a bit more security.

[Rogue Sloth]

“What? It’s true,” Caspian laughed when Iris called him a tease. He hadn’t thought much about the words before they’d left his lips. Some things made him flustered, especially pertaining to milestones he’d never crossed in previous relationships, but he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he liked being close to her. She already knew how he felt about her anyway, so there was no reason to pretend like he wasn’t fond of cuddling or of letting her nap against his side. Saying that they could do so anywhere was just a fact, because they could.

So, when she teased him in return by asking what he would do if she didn’t want to cuddle anymore, he rolled his eyes. “Don’t forget that you’re the one who just fell asleep on my chest,” he reminded her with a laugh. “You’d better not be planning to cut me off just to prove a point. That isn’t fair.” While she picked up the blanket, he did what he could to help her pack everything back up in her backpack, inwardly relieved that they would be moving to a better shelter than the trees over their heads. The makeshift campsite had been a good option while she’d been stricken with a fever and couldn’t keep moving, but now that she was feeling better, he didn’t want to stay outside. Being inside a building make him feel safer than sleeping on the ground would.

Once everything was put away, he studied the bulging backpack in her hands, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully. Before, he hadn’t thought much of it because he’d been trying to keep his distance from Iris, but now that they’d crossed the bridge to become more than friends again, he didn’t like the thought of leaving it in her hands for the entirety of their trip. “Here, let me take that,” he offered. Without waiting for a reply, he slipped the bag away from her and slung it over his shoulders. It was a little heavy because of all the supplies they had crammed inside of it, but that was all the more reason for him to carry it, in his opinion. He was stronger than she was, and she was still getting over a fever. It just made more sense for him to hold onto it, and he wanted to start carrying his weight instead of dragging his feet while she did everything for them.

When she reached for his hand, he noticed her brief hesitation before she followed through with the gesture, and he wondered if something was wrong. However, the pause was so brief that he ultimately decided it must have just been due to the fact that they were still getting used to being more than friends. Seeing no reason to question her about it, he let it slide as he followed her lead through the trees. “Where are you taking me this time?” he asked instead, turning his head to look at her inquisitively. “You know, for an amnesiac, you’re remembering a lot of really random details about the districts out here. Do you think you’ve visited a lot of them?”

[sukikyoufu]

Finding herself in high spirits she couldn’t help but laugh when he said it would be unfair if she cut him off to prove a point, she knew in heart she couldn’t just do that to him. Not when it felt like she had waited forever to just be close to him again, although her own self doubt was doing wonders at the idea of getting too attached right now because she was now starting to fear what was to come. Fear of the unknown as she took this adventure with Cas and sure he had said he would fight for them, but it was hard to remember how protective his father was. If he did choose to go home not only would she not be welcomed by his father, but no doubt the people because of her status and what she had ultimately done.

“Oh, thank you. You didn’t have too.” Taken from her thoughts as Cas took the backpack from her offering to carry it so she didn’t have too, it was heavy, and it was nice to have a break from having to carry it. She hadn’t noticed too much whilst they were rushing around trying not to get caught but thinking on it now, she was glad he had offered. “If it gets too much tell me alright? You’re not in perfect health either.” Smiling over at him as she walked through the trees heading towards the road, but not into it directly. In her mind she just needed to know where about the road was so they could walk that way through the forest, she didn’t want them trekking along an open road that was used by a lot of people especially rebels.

Holding his hand, she looked over at Cas when he asked where she was taking him this time, she hadn’t really though it through, but she wanted to get them to another district that was safer at least. “I don’t know, I just know that the further we get in the nicer the districts become. So, I’m hoping that they are still intact.” She had no clue what had happened to the other districts, they could be in the same boat as the others but at least they were moving. As she walked she could hear the snapping of twig branches beneath her feet, the rustle of bushes and leaves that surrounded them and even though it should be a serene calming sound she was still on edge that something was going to go wrong.

“Maybe?” Furrowing her brow as she tried to think on the districts, she could remember the important parts and flashes, but it wasn’t concrete. “It’s strange, like I feel like I know it. I can’t picture it, but it feels right. Is that weird? I thought it could be muscle memory… I guess I just don’t know.” Pondering her own thoughts as she caught site of the road, it looked intact minus the potholes and little bits of rubble and stone that scattered across the black tarmac. “It’s hard to explain, but I know I’ve walked through the districts before, I’ve been to them, I can’t tell you why or how I know that… it’s just a feeling I get.”

Sighing softly to herself as she stopped just looking at the long road before her, “It’s like when I was at Maisies I had this feeling of déjà vu, I knew some things, but then others I didn’t. I know now she was my best friend, but I didn’t remember that until I saw her name and I wish I could recall our childhood memories together, but even then I don’t remember it all…” Trailing off she held back part of her sentence not wanting to voice it out loud, it just felt like a part of her was broken and she hated it.

[Rogue Sloth]

“I can handle carrying a backpack,” Cas assured Iris when she told him to let her know if it was too much. His arm was wounded, but that didn’t inhibit him from wearing the bag until they could find a better place to rest for the night. Even the bruise on his stomach only ached a little when he lifted the pack onto his shoulders, so he knew he wouldn’t have any trouble with it while they walked. He was undoubtedly better off than she was when she was nursing the aftereffects of a fever. Despite her implied offer to take it back from him if he couldn’t carry it, he was sure he wouldn’t say anything even if did become more difficult for some reason later on.

When she said that the districts became nicer as they traveled further toward the capital, he nodded in with familiarity. That was something that lined up with what he’d learned in his studies. Although the districts were much worse off than he’d ever realized, he knew that wealth was concentrated in the capital and trickled outward to the edges of the country. As such, it wasn’t surprising to him that they would see an increase in quality of life as they kept walking. He wondered how much better off the next district would be though. Were the outermost districts the only ones that were in a poor state, or would they never see a hint of luxury until they reached the border that surrounded the gem of Aspiria? At one point in his life, he would have thought he knew the answer to that question, but now it felt like nothing could surprise him. He just hoped they wouldn’t come across any more dead bodies on the way.

Keeping his gaze fixed on the ground so he wouldn’t trip on any roots or branches, he listened as Iris explained how her amnesia was affecting her. She was right that it was weird that she didn’t actually know where she was going, but he trusted her. She’d gotten them this far, after all. As long as she got them to another shelter in one piece, he didn’t care how she did it. “If it’s working, I can’t complain,” he said, glancing at her with a smile before he dropped his gaze to the foliage beneath his feet again. “I don’t really care where we go either. I was just curious if you had a specific place in mind or not.”

A couple days ago, he’d been hopeful about staying at hotels on their way back to the capital, but he’d since accepted that the chances of booking even one room somewhere were slim to none. Despite common belief, he wasn’t such a city boy that he couldn’t handle getting his hands dirty once in a while. He may have preferred being comfortable over slumming it in bomb shelters and abandoned apartments, but he would do what he had to in order to survive in the war zone. It really wasn’t as bad as he’d thought it would be, especially since he had Iris by his side. Being with her made it easier to bear the unpleasant parts of running from the rebellion.

So, when he picked up on the sadness in her voice, he was quick to offer her some comforting words. “I’m sure everything will come back to you with time,” he promised her confidently, giving her hand a firm squeeze as they stopped by the road. “Remember what Dr. Emett said? It could take a while, but you’ll get your memories back. Now that we’re back in the part of the country where you’re from, they might come back even faster too. I know it’s frustrating right now, but try to focus on the fact that your memories aren’t gone for good. They’re just… locked up. Once the lock is opened, it’ll be like you never lost them in the first place.”

[sukikyoufu]

Walking in step with him she smiled as he said he didn’t care were they went; she didn’t have a fleshed-out idea on where to take him other than the next district along in hopes it wasn’t ravaged. This was her best bet, following the forest alongside the road that was just a few steps next to them. Perhaps she could find them another abandoned house, she was sure there was another bomb shelter around worst case scenario. Every district had one for potential attacks and it’s not like they were being used, perhaps the later districts had less run-down ones not covered in thick coats of dust and comfortable places to sleep.

Thinking on simple things like that it was strange to think she had experienced some luxury, the bed she had stayed in was one of the most comfortable pieces of furniture she had ever stayed on. The sofa was even amazing. Although she had only enjoyed the life of luxury for a little while it was easy to miss, especially with how simple it seemed. I wonder how Cas must feel, this must be such a shock to him. I bet her never pictured living like this, if you can call this living. Thinking to herself as she continued to walk on smiling softly as he offered some words of comfort to her from her memories. “I guess, it’s just hard. Hopefully I’ll remember, but I’m sure there are parts I don’t want too. Thanks Cas, for putting up with me through it.” Squeezing his hand back gently as she smiled at him, sure things weren’t great, but the good part was that she did have him.

Diverting their route slightly she headed towards the road again just to see it divert off slightly signalling that it would lead them to a district. “We can either carry on and try out this district to see if there is anywhere, we can stay. The road down there will lead us to Eulmore but it will be quite a while before getting there. Or as I said we can continue on down the road towards the Capital. Both will be long.” Debating on it as she looked over at Cas smiling, Eulmore was the next district and she couldn’t be certain it wasn’t in ruin like Bel Bicis had been because she didn’t know where exactly the bombs had been dropped.

“Although, I can’t be certain it’s not in ruins like Bel Bicis.” Whispering as she felt herself shudder at the thought, the imagery of dead bodies hadn’t left her completely nor the state of the district itself because it had been horrifying. That was something that would no doubt haunt the both of them for a while, she had seen some horrifying things before, but nothing could escape the scene of a destroyed town full of innocent bystanders. This is all because of Hope, because of the rebellion and kidnapping him. If these things didn’t happen would they still be dead? Or would they be saved? It was all full of what ifs, she couldn’t be sure if the rebellion never happened things would be different.

[Rogue Sloth]

“I don’t mind it at all,” Cas said honestly when Iris thanked him. “You’re not as much trouble as you seem to think you are, you know. Considering everything you’ve been through, you’re keeping it together really well.” He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to suddenly wake up with no memories of who he was. If she’d had daily breakdowns instead of stepping up to lead him back to the capital, he wouldn’t have blamed her for it in the slightest. “If anything comes back to you that you feel like you need to talk about, I’ll be your listening ear too,” he added, not wanting her to feel like she needed to process all her memories alone.

As they approached a fork in the road, he looked down each path while she explained their options. To him personally, it didn’t make much of a difference whether they headed into the adjacent district or continued walking toward the capital. However, based on what she said, it sounded like detouring through Eulmore would give them the best chance at finding a shelter to use for the night. If continuing toward the central district meant they might end up walking the extra length for nothing, he preferred taking his chances down the other street and seeing what they could find. Worst case, they would have to make another camp, but he was hopeful that they would come across a place to stay. Bel Bicis had been a disaster, and they’d still found an empty apartment there, after all.

“I think it’s worth a shot,” he decided, turning back to her with a shrug. “If there’s even a chance we can find shelter, we might as well take it. It’s not like we’ve got a better option anyway.” Having made up his mind, he gave her hand a tug as he led her toward the road she’d indicated that would take them to Eulmore. Despite the firmness in his voice, he hoped the next district, which if he remembered correctly was the eighth, wouldn’t be a repeat of the eleventh. If he saw any more dead bodies that day, he wasn’t sure if he could make it all the way to the capital without breaking down along the way. As one who’d grown up in the lap of luxury, he could only take so much death and destruction without losing his composure—or being plagued with nightmares, apparently.

Looking over the road they were walking alongside, he wished they could have gotten access to a car. Driving would have been much faster than walking all the way back, and they could sleep in the cab instead of go looking for a new place to lay their heads every night. It was too bad they didn’t have one, but there was nothing they could do about it now. Knowing how little the people outside the capital had in general, he didn’t feel right about stealing one when the owners of any cars out here probably needed the vehicles much more than he did.

“When you said it’ll take a long time, what did that mean?” he asked, glancing up at the darkening sky. The sun still hadn’t disappeared, but it looked like they didn’t have much daylight left before sunset hit. He was hoping to reach a shelter before dark if it was possible.

[sukikyoufu]

Keeping it together really well? Considering his comment as she walked on thinking on it, why had it not affected her? Sure, she did feel things for what had happened, what she had gone through, but it wasn’t like she was in pieces. Not yet anyway which did concern her a little. A part of her wondered if that’s because she was just bottling it up, pushing it all to one side in hopes it would just go away and it felt like it had been something she had done before. In fact, Iris knew it’s what she had done before, she would just box up whatever emotion it was and file it away like it was nothing. Until the boxes started to overfill of course.

“Thank you, I know I can always talk you. Just like you can with me, I’m always happy to listen.” Smiling as she walked towards Eulmore from the fork in the road at his confirmation that it would be there best bet. Shelter would be easier this way that’s for certain, she wasn’t too sure how long the other route would take them. “Oh, just that it may be a little bit longer walking was all. I just didn’t want you to think it would only be like fifteen more minutes. Maybe an hour if we are lucky?” Chuckling to herself as she looked up at the sky noting it was getting dark.

“We should be able to find shelter before it gets dark though.” Quickening her pace slightly just to ensure they would be able to make it in the dwindling daylight. “We still have some time at least so, how about we use this time to maybe ask each other some questions? Get to know more things about one another. Like… I don’t even know your favourite colour.” Iris teased softly as she continued on the path down the road knowing it would lead them to the next district.

“Orrrr maybe embarrassing stories? I’d sure love to know them to tease you~” Laughing to herself as she kept the mood light, plus she did want to get to know him a little bit more. Seeing as they had a fair bit of time together it didn’t hurt sharing stories, plus it would be nice and light-hearted and it would keep their minds off of the tragedy of the districts they had already passed. “Maybe I’ll be able to remember some embarrassing memories of my own that I can share with you too?” Iris couldn’t help the cheeky grin that spread across her face as she kept her pace with heading towards Eulmore. They could see buildings in the distance and from what she could see they still looked intact which gave her hope that they could find shelter for the night. Feeling a new sense of determination as she walked, she hoped she could find them a decent place to sleep, something with four walls and a door that would keep them safe. That was the hope at least.

[Rogue Sloth]

Caspian nodded appreciatively when Iris said he could talk to her too. He knew he could, but he was still getting used to the idea of relying on anyone else in general—in an emotional sense, specifically. Even though he’d lived his whole life with servants who would wait on him hand and foot, he’d never had a confidante to whom he could go if he was ever struggling with something. He was supposed to be able to handle his own personal problems by himself, since he was supposed to be the next king. His father had made it very clear that it was expected of him. Because of that, he’d subconsciously gotten used to keeping quiet when something was bothering him. He truly did want to take Iris up on her offer, but he was still figuring out how to do it.

When she assured him that they would probably find a place to take shelter before dusk, he was relieved. “I can handle an hour,” he said as he stepped over a lengthy root that protruded from the ground beneath his feet. After the ridiculously long day they’d had, he would have preferred to stop sooner, but he wasn’t going to give up on sleeping inside a building just because he was a little sore. When they got to the next district, he could rest for as long as he wanted anyway. Now that they were no longer in any rush to get to the capital, they didn’t have to leave at the crack of dawn to keep going. He could actually sleep in for once. The thought was enticing enough to propel him forward as they followed the road at the edge of the woods.

Her following suggestion brought a smile to his lips. In retrospect, it was kind of funny that they didn’t know any of the minor but obvious details about each other. He didn’t usually talk about things like his favorite color though. The media in the capital already published information about his tastes in absurd articles like “Are You Compatible Enough to be a Princess?” or “Going to a Ball? Wear THIS to Get the Prince to Notice You!” By now, he was sure that practically every high born in Aspiria knew all the answers to the questions people generally asked each other on a first date.

“It’s red, if you were wondering,” he chuckled, casting her an amused look. “What’s yours?” Although it was new to him, he found it kind of fun to talk to her about his likes and dislikes. For a moment, he wasn’t the crown prince of the country; he was just a man getting to know a woman. Her next suggestion caught him by surprise though, and he blinked as she requested to hear some embarrassing stories.

“What if you don’t remember any?” he objected, letting go of her hand to poke her teasingly in the side. “It won’t be fair if you hear about all the stupid things I’ve done and don’t give me anything in return. Why should I make an ass of myself when you might get off scot-free?”

[sukikyoufu]

“Oh wow, I’m such an idiot. We’ve already discussed this before. When we were shopping.” Iris felt her cheeks heat up at the embarrassment on the fact they had this conversation before. A part of her was embarrassed that she had forgotten, but then another part was embarrassed because she had been silly enough to bring it up again. “When I so excitedly pointed out the toothbrush back when we were shopping, that it was purple and that it was my favourite colour. Wow I can’t believe how silly I am.” Chuckling softly to herself as she shook her head, amused by the fact she had brought it up.

“See, there…” Teasing as she squealed from the poke to her side, “That was kind of embarrassing~” Batting her eyelashes at Cas as she looked up at him, “Come onnnn, you know you want to tell me. I promise I won’t laugh or tell anyone.” Smirking to herself as she was careful not to trip over any of the rubble on the floor as they continued there walk to the district. “And you never know I could remember something. These stories could spur on something soooo embarrassing that it will all be worth it and well if not… I still had fun~” Unable to contain her giggles as she looked back over at Cas with a big cheeky grin on her face, “And maybe… I get to tease you about a few things or two.”

Thinking on it herself she wondered what kind of embarrassing tales she would learn about herself; she was sure she had some stories. Maybe even Maisie could enlighten her one day, she was certain she could learn a lot about herself through Maisie so hopefully when things were less hectic, she could sit down and discuss things about her life. Though at the thought of that she felt her smile drop slightly more because she didn’t know if that would be possible anymore. Trying to think on the future was difficult right now, although she wanted to believe it would all end in some sort of happily ever after that wouldn’t be the case and she knew it. No matter what his choice would be it would have a knock-on effect and she knew she couldn’t put her own happiness in front of a country that could use a good ruler that she believed he could be.

“And I’m sure you won’t let me get off scot-free, you will get your own back I’m sure. We can’t have you being the only embarrassed one.” Continuing with her teasing tone as she could see them getting closer to Eulmore, hopefully there wouldn’t be any rebels around as they had been lucky so far. In the sense that they hadn’t run into them just yet, they hadn’t exactly had the smoothest of escapes or travels, but so far, they had not encountered the rebels which she was thankful for. Iris didn’t know how she would react to it, the anger and disappointment her father would no doubt have for what she had done. There was no way she’d be walking away without facing the consequences and if they were caught they would kill him and she had nothing to fight against it.

[Rogue Sloth]

“We did?” Cas blinked when Iris said they’d already talked about their favorite colors. Thinking back on everything they’d been through, it wasn’t surprising to him that he couldn’t remember that conversation. The day he’d taken her to the mall to buy new clothes felt like an eternity ago. Now that she mentioned that her favorite color was purple though, he hazily remembered that the subject had come up offhandedly while she had been sifting through items that she would need while she stayed at his home. It was no wonder they had grown close so quickly. The days they’d spent together had been long, and since they’d left the capital, things had gotten intense. He’d heard before that trauma bonded people, but now that he was experiencing it for himself, he actually believed it.

“I can’t promise that I’ll remember everything you told me before all the madness started,” he warned her. “But I’ll do my best not to forget it this time.” Now that they’d made the decision to be together, he wanted to know as much about her as he could. So, when she pushed him again to give her an embarrassing story whilst batting her eyelashes coyly, he groaned. On one hand, he wasn’t sure he liked how eager she was to get ammunition to tease him with, but on the other hand, he found it hard to say no to her big, blue eyes. Why does she have to be so damn cute? He marveled with a subtle shake of his head.

“You’re manipulative,” he smiled at her incredulously. “I’m gonna have to remember that too. But fine,” he exhaled in resignation. “I guess I can tell you one story if you’re not going to let this go.” Reaching out to take her hand again, he fell quiet for a moment while he decided what kind of humiliating information he was willing to divulge to her. Once he’d settled on a story, he started:

“Okay, this was probably one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done. When I was sixteen, I and a few of my friends at the time had been drinking. One of them had an older brother who bought us vodka. Anyway, we all had had way too many shots, and one of them—his name was Doug—came up with the brilliant idea of going skinny dipping in a retention pond. Since we were all too intoxicated to think through the consequences, we agreed to do it with him.

“In hindsight, I know it already sounds stupid, and it was, but it gets even worse. Around midnight, we all snuck out of his parent’s house, probably not as quietly as we thought we were being, and went to the nearest retention pond in the neighborhood. All four of us got bare-ass naked and went swimming. At first, we thought we were clever enough to get away with it, and after about an hour, we got out of the water to put our clothes back on and go back into the house. But when we walked over to the spot where we’d left everything, we found out that someone had stolen our clothes while we weren’t paying attention.”

He pressed his free hand to his face as the humiliation of the memory resurfaced. “We ended up having no other choice but to run back to his house two blocks away in our birthday suits. I don’t know who saw us when we were outside, but when we got back to his place, both of Doug’s older sisters were in the living room. Turns out they were the ones who’d taken our clothes.

“While we were still flustered and too drunk to think of a logical way out of the situation, they took pictures and recorded a video of us fighting each other to escape to his bedroom upstairs. All of it went viral for months online, and to make things worse, I started getting stopped by reporters who wanted interviews about that night on my way to and from school. My life was hell for the rest of my junior year.”

Sufficiently embarrassed by the retelling of the story, he nudged Iris in the arm, “Alright, that was painful to talk about, so you’d better have a good one to give me in return or I’m going to feel gypped.”

[sukikyoufu]

“Oh yeah, we did. That feels so long ago thinking on it.” Iris laughed shaking her head in amusement, it was kind of funny how they had both forgotten that fact but none the less it was harmless. Going forward though she would make an effort to remember his favourite colour, though she was certain all of Aspiria knew it too and probably over wore the colour. Iris could picture all the noble lands of the land dressing in the said colour in hopes to catch his eyes, women could be so predictable… but then she had done something embarrassing like that before for a crush which was part of her most embarrassing story. Of course, when I got some memories back I had to remember the most cringiest of them all.

“Hey, I forgot about it too, and I will too, I will not forget it. Although you won’t see me dressing in the colour, I’m sure you’re sick of seeing ladies in red.” Winking at him as they walked along, grinning at the fact he had caved to telling her an embarrassing story. “Ohhh, one of the most?” Perking up as he started to divulge the story to her, holding his hand in her own glancing over at him as he spoke on. “Oh my, I didn’t realise I was dating such a troublemaker.” Giggling as she heard him tell her about how they had gotten drunk at sixteen, she wondered if she had ever done something like that. Although when he spoke about skinny dipping, she felt her own face heat up at the idea of a naked Prince running through to jump into a pond.

“What!? Oh no… did you not see anyone grab your clothes?” Chuckling as she shook her head at the idea of them having no clothes now, seeing as he pressed his free hand to his face embarrassed. “Oh no… oh Cas… that is pretty embarrassing. I can’t imagine how your father reacted to that! And well… I guess the school as well, children can be so cruel at times.” Giggling as he nudged her wanting her to now tell a story she shook her head, “Nope. I can’t remember anything… oh well.” Laughing nervously as she tried to hide the fact, she did have something to share, but she of course felt too awkward to say it right now.

“I think we should talk about you being such a troublemaker from a young age… skinny dipping and getting drunk. Oh my.” Grinning as she looked over at Cas her free hand ruffling his hair as she was ready to tease him about his story but instead, she found herself cringing knowing she did have to share one in return, it was only fair. “Alright… I will tell you something… but it’s super embarrassing and you can’t judge me or tell anyone okay?” Her cheeks were still heated just at the idea of spilling her own most embarrassing story, “I mean it, because I still cringe to this day thinking about it.”

[Rogue Sloth]

“You don’t have to change your wardrobe on my account,” Caspian told Iris as nonchalantly as he could. She was right that he was used to seeing ladies in red all the time whenever he showed up to events in the capital, but there was a reason for it. As often as he rolled his eyes at the ridiculous articles the media posted, there was some truth to them on the rare occasion. In the case of what caught his eye at parties, they hadn’t been wrong in their assessment that he was more prone to turn his head if he saw a woman in a burgundy dress. He knew the high borns were usually just trying to win his attention by using every possible resource at their disposal—he recalled that when an article was published stating that he had a thing for blondes, it seemed like every other girl was suddenly bleaching her hair—but he would have been lying if he’d said he was totally immune to everything they did to stand out. He was attracted to the way red fabric looked against a woman’s curves, so he wouldn’t be disappointed if she ever chose to wear it.

When Iris brought up his father after he was done telling her the story, he grimaced. “Yeah, my dad was pissed,” he confirmed. “He forbade me from ever hanging out with Doug and the other two guys again, and I can’t even remember how many lectures I got about keeping up my reputation.” He shuddered exaggeratedly as he thought about it. His father had always put the crown’s reputation before anything else. It had always been a point of contention between them, he recalled, especially that particular year. That was the same year they had lost his mother. He’d always been vexed with Atlas for not showing him any sympathy when he’d been grieving.

So, when Iris called him a troublemaker, he shook his head amusedly. “I can’t deny that I’ve always had trouble with following the rules, but I wasn’t that bad,” he defended himself. “I don’t know if you put the timeline together on your own or not, but that happened just two months after my mom passed. I think I was just acting out because I didn’t know how to deal with it. Drinking and skinny dipping may have been stupid ideas, but I was still just a stupid kid at the time. It definitely made things worse for me in the short run too.” After that, he’d shaped up quickly. He had never stopped going out to drink and attending parties, since both distracted him from the other things that caused him stress in his life, but he’d been more careful about it whenever he left the mansion.

When Iris admitted that she actually did remember a story she could tell him, he narrowed his eyes at her with mock accusation, “I knew it.” At her following set of conditions, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her playfully to his side. “That’s not fair. You were literally just making fun of me for the embarrassing story I told you. I promise I won’t tell anyone yours, but I reserve the right to tease you about it as much as I want. Now, go ahead and spill it.”

[sukikyoufu]

“Maybe one day you might be lucky enough to catch me in red.” Iris chuckled softly as she couldn’t help but smile enjoying her time with Cas as they walked together. She was right with his father being mad, of course he had been because that was his son’s reputation going across the whole of the Capital. “I know, you’re harmless. I’m just messing. It’s understandable though. Considering what happened. I guess we all act out a little when things like that happen. I’m sure I was the same.”

Smirking as she had admitted that she did have a story she looked over at Cas unable to stop her laughter as he pulled her playfully to his side. “No no nooooo, you can’t tease me. That’s not fair!!” Whining as she looked at him still with the smirk on her face as she couldn’t help but have a good time. “Alright… okay. Brace yourself because I am never telling this story again.” Shaking her head, she knew her cheeks were bright red, already embarrassed as she recalled her own memory. Cringing because she knew it would make him laugh, it was funny now, but she was still highly embarrassed from it all.

“Okay so well… I had just turned sixteen.” Biting her lip slightly as she shook her own head sighing, “I had a stupid schoolgirl crush on some jock Steven who liked Maisie at the time, and we had arranged this party at her dads house. I had found out he was really into girls who wore white. I don’t know why still don’t to this day because I could never face him after what happened and well… I did the stupid predictable girl thing and wore white because I hoped it would catch his attention.” Grimacing as she spoke, she shook her head in despair already feeling embarrassed and she hadn’t even gotten to the part that she cringed at the most.

“So, we get to the party. I’m wearing a white dress Maisie is not dressed up because she doesn’t care and just wants to have fun. We dance, laugh and I feel like yeah this is going to be a good night. My dance moves alone were probably embarrassing.” Smiling to herself she averted her gaze from Cas, her cheeks red from embarrassment hesitating before she started to speak again. “So, the guy I had a crush on finally turns up to the party and I think oh I know, I’ll drink some wine make myself look sophisticated and maybe he will like me. So, I try to catch his eye, make it seem like I’m all mysterious and such and I move to the kitchen holding that cup of wine and low and behold he follows me. Whether or not he was going to ask me about me, or Maisie I don’t know because I managed to stun him into silence.”

Rubbing the back of her head sheepishly she looked over at Cas, “I took a swig of wine hoping it would boost my confidence, but as he walked in I rather eagerly tried to say hi forgetting I still had a mouthful of wine that I hadn’t swallowed. So instead I end up spitting it out, choking on the wine which by then I couldn’t stop laughing because if I didn't I would have cried but by that point it even started to come out of my nose from the laughter and I will never forget how that burned… so all in all I managed to look like some crazed girl with wine everywhere and the stain never came out of that dress… and gosh… wine Cas. Wine came out of my nose! Can you imagine how much of an idiot I must have looked… gosh…”

[Rogue Sloth]

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say harmless…” Cas tried to argue feebly. Even though he didn’t think of himself as a total rebel, he still wanted to be seen as tough. There was something inside him like there was in all men that made him want others to look at him and see someone who was strong and capable. Of course, his own insecurities made it difficult for him to see himself that way all the time, but he hoped that the woman he’d caught feeling for didn’t think of him as a complete softie. He was the one who was supposed to be able to protect her, not the other way around. If she thought he was harmless, then he obviously wasn’t giving off the right impression.

Although, I can’t really blame her for thinking that, he thought with a sigh. Since the day they’d first met, the only side of himself that he’d shown her was that of a spoiled prince. She’d seen how cushy his life in the capital was, how little he did for himself because he had servants to look after him, how little he ever suffered in comparison with the citizens of the other districts. She had also seen him fall right into a trap and be kidnapped without putting up a fight. As much as he loathed to admit it, none of those were characteristics of a man who was either strong or capable of taking care of himself. His strengths had always laid more in his willingness to care for other people than they had in his ability to be tough and rugged. He simply didn’t have that gift the way some other men did.

Eager to hear the story Iris was going to give him in return, he eased up his grip on her so that they could keep walking while she talked. At first, he didn’t think the memory was that embarrassing. Despite what she said, he didn’t judge her for trying to impress her high school crush by dressing up. It was natural for anyone to want to be attractive to the people they were attracted to, especially if they had competition around. If there had been other guys around her when they’d met, he was sure he would have been a little more assertive trying to win her attention too. He was just lucky that he’d never had to compete with anyone else to have her—Well, there was Ethan, but it didn’t seem like she was ever very serious about her now ex-boyfriend anyway.

The second half of her story brought a grin to his lips though. He practically cringed alongside her as she described how she had made a fool of herself in front of the guy she’d been trying to impress. He had done stupid things in front of girls before too, but never anything like that. “Jesus,” he laughed. “That sounds like it sucked, but if he was actually into you, I’m kind of glad it didn’t work out. Who knows if we would be where we are right now if you had been with him instead of Ethan before we met?” Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to her cheek, thankful that they were finally exploring a relationship after everything that had happened. He liked that he didn’t have to worry about competing against anyone else to be with her. There was a lot less drama involved this way. Given that they were already dealing with the war, the rebellion and her psychotic father, they didn’t need any more drama than they already had to handle.

“Maybe you should do something awkward for me,” he teased her insincerely. “After hearing that story, I feel a little left out knowing that you haven’t done anything crazy to get my attention. Was I just too easy or what?”

[sukikyoufu]

“Oh, hush you, I’m only messing. I don’t think your harmless at all.” Iris smiled softly knowing that sometimes men didn’t like to feel as if they weren’t strong, she didn’t think that about him at all. Cas was one of the strongest people she had met, he had to deal with the weight of a country on his shoulders and meeting expectations all the time. Single handed he had fought against her father even with the odds stacked against him. There was nothing weak or meek about him, she had just meant he did not have a bad bone in his body because he had such a kind soul.

“See!! I told you!! Who would ever be into someone who practically has wine coming out of every inch of their face?” Huffing as she shook her head a pout now forming on her lips because to her that was something she could never forget, and she was certain she would do something just as embarrassing around Cas. He would see her in a different light, especially if she ever had wine coming out of her nose, she was certain he would be revolted at the sight. “Nah, he was never into me. He really liked Maisie and they even dated for a while. I could never face him after that.” Chuckling as she shook her head still amazed by that story to this day.

“Very true, they do say things happen for a reason so maybe I spurted wine from my nose just so we could be here at this moment together.” Iris couldn’t help but laugh at that statement, sighing happily when he kissed her cheek, she beamed up at him happy that they were here together at least. Although everything was crazy going on around them it was nice that she had him by her side. It made her forget about Ethan, her father and the truth of what she had caused by her actions and it was nice to push those thoughts aside because she knew it would haunt her for the rest of her time.

“Woah… something awkward for you?” Scoffing at his words as she prodded his side pouting, “I got myself caught in a bear trap and lost all my memories to get your attention so you can’t say I didn’t do anything crazy for you.” Teasing him back as she looked ahead of her feeling relieved as they were approaching the gate to Eulmore, sharing embarrassing stories had made what seemed a long journey more bearable. “I have yet to see you do anything embarrassing for me, so I think you owe me instead.” Stopping before they reached the gate she turned to Cas, eyes bright and a soft smile on her face leaning up she pressed her lips against his kissing him before they had to find shelter in the next district for the night. The sun by now had begun to set, the night cool as the dim lights started to turn on from various buildings and street lamps.