Hidden 8 days ago Post by Calle
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Calle Rainbow Writer

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Welcome to the Voting and Feedback round for MFP#2!

Voting and Feedback guidelines

  • Please take your time to read through all the entries before voting for your favourite work. The reasons you base your vote on are up to you, as long the vote isn’t based on whether or not you like the author.
    It would be nice if you could share why you voted for a specific work.
  • Giving feedback is optional but highly encouraged. When giving feedback you should be respectful and constructive. It’s good to point out any flaws, the things you feel could be improved or why you didn't like something, but don’t be mean.
    Make sure to point out what you liked or what appreciated in the entry too.
  • Contestant may and are encouraged to vote for and give feedback for the other entries, but don’t vote for your own entry. If contestants wish to withhold a vote and only give feedback, that is good too.
  • The entries are anonymous unless the writer asked for having their name added. That being said, writers may claim their work at any time during or after the voting period.
  • The entry with the most votes will win, but in case of a tie a Contest Mod will cast the tie-breaker vote.
  • You can vote for entries and post your feedback in this thread, but if you rather have your vote and/or feedback be anonymous you can PM it to @Calle.
  • The voting period deadline is September 21th, 9:00 CET, which is 7:00 game time (both times are in a.m.).

The Entries

Hidden 8 days ago Post by Calle
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Calle Rainbow Writer

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A total of six entries had been send in, but one was not added to the voting round because it exceeded the maximum word count of 500 with 146 words.
Hidden 8 days ago Post by BrokenPromise
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BrokenPromise Rubber Duck

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When your weekend is Sunday/Monday, and you're busy Sunday.

Oh well, my story about progressive "movie" stars probably wouldn't have been appreciated by most. But onto the people who actually set aside time to join this thing!

Writing short like this isn't my specialty, so yea, be ready for that.

Stars: I liked it. The cadence came through for me.

Hood of Shadow: It was interesting, even if it eludes my understanding.

Interstellar: A solid poem. "Repertoire" is not what I would pair with star, but the rest flowed beautifully.

The Stars: Interesting concept. It didn't have a lot of colorful language, but the point came across.

Written in the Stars: Good story. It felt a bit condensed at the end. I'd love to read a longer version of it.

I think I'll vote for Interstellar.
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Hidden 8 days ago Post by reaping Adder
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reaping Adder Crude, tactical, and forsakenly brave! I'm mighty.

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I created "Hood of shadows".

I'll critique instead of voting.

"Stars" was short. Had it been longer I would have perhaps courtesyly voted.

"Interstellar" was transparant, and stagnant. Its length could of had some warm words, but I just see a droll thought pattern.

I don't like "The Stars" because it's just chaos. It had an earthly feel, almost barbarian, but it then instantly changed for the worse.

"Written in the Stars" couldn't beat mine even if they gave themselves a collumn to the title. It just left the present like it wasn't even voyaging. Like they never roleplayed truethfully, or had a friend.
Hidden 8 days ago Post by Maglar
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Maglar Lore Apprentice

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Really Beautiful entries, the writers of these works should be proud. It's sad that there can only be one winner.

I'm voting the first one, "Stars," something about it triggers playful feelings like playing peek-a-boo with a baby.

Hidden 7 days ago 7 days ago Post by BangoSkank
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BangoSkank Resident Halfling

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I particularly liked Stars, Interstellar and The Stars.

I agree with Maglar, they're all good entries and it's sad only one can win, but for me that was "The Stars".

I liked Stars because it was quite short but felt complete if that makes sense. And as Maglar said it felt playful. If there were like a side award for doing the most with the least words this one would win it for sure. Great economy. Good as hell. Would like to see more from this writer please and thank you.

I liked Interstellar because it had several stanzas (if that's the right word) and I liked how they went together. Some of the verses had a sort of Edgar Allan Poe feel to them and I particularly like the last stanza, or series of four lines. That last stanza makes me want another few stanzas. Good shit. Again I hope you keep writing, this is good as hell and I like it and I want more please give me more.

My favorite though was The Stars. I like star gazing and it had an interesting sort of stream of consciousness aspect to it. Reminded me of the thought process of someone just looking up at the night sky. The turn then in to talking about them as sentient beings sort of was unexpected and I thought pretty damn cool. Sort of a reflection on the loss of the childish innocence of looking up at the sky with questions but not really looking for answers. Hit me in the feelie bits. Good stuff. Naturally I hope you keep writing. Keep writing yeah?

I hope Adder and whoever wrote "Written in the Stars" keep at it too.

"Hood of Shadow" was a bit odd to me, I don't think I really quite grasped it. I didn't get the opening part about "Pink is not orange, but it is green. X-treme, or not to x-treme?" although I assume it has something to do with the colors of a star. That part went over my head but I really liked the lines "Harrowing gets the meadow" and "Of the swords pledge to chop dragon flame into two jets sporadical". It's got some very unique vocabulary to it and that is pretty fucking cool man.

"Written in the Stars", to me, felt like it was caught between being a lovely short story and a lovely poem. I think it would work very well as either but just needs to be committed to one or the other OR you could do like a double post where you expand it into a short story and then try to cut it way down to a poem. Like instead of describing what the character does at all these points just describe a few scenes and let the reader read between the lines. That first paragraph could just be a boy, alone on a beach, staring up at a vast sky puzzling out ancient stories. Like a line in a poem as representing a single image rather than a story.

I don't know. That might not be that helpful. I really liked this entry too and whoever you are I'd like to see more stuff from you. I think you're going somewhere neat as fucks. Cheers man.
Hidden 7 days ago Post by Calle
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Calle Rainbow Writer

Contest Mod Seen 6 hrs ago

@reaping Adder Thank you for both joining the contest and take your time to critique the other works. I appreciate your contributions.

As a friendly reminder: critique should be constructive and respectful; it's the second bullet point in the guidelines.

It's okay to not like entries and to say that, but try to word it in a way that encourages the writer to continue writing. It's always appreciated when the feedback gives the writer something to work with so they can improve; even a simple explanation of what worked or didn't work helps, just try to be clear about it so the author can learn from it.
And never take a jab at the writer, don't make it personal.

A few things stood out and I would like to address them, but feel free to correct me if I misunderstood anything:

"It had an earthly feel, almost barbarian, but it then instantly changed for the worse.": although a very colourful and creative way to convey your feelings regarding the entry, this kind of feedback probably doesn't give the author much to work with to improve their writing. Any examples of what in the entry comes across as earthly or barbarian would make it more clear what exactly didn't work or why you thought it was this bad, also because worse than barbaric is a rather strong opinion to have for a story without barbarians in it.

"couldn't beat mine even if...": there is no accounting for taste; some people may enjoy the entry or even prefer it over yours. Of course it's good to take pride in your own work and you can certainly have and voice the opinion the entry wasn't good according to your preferences or criteria. Just remember to be respectful to other writers and that people can like different styles. A more neutral way to express this would be "I didn't like this, because...", which is perfectly fine to say.

"Like they never roleplayed truethfully, or had a friend.": Unless you were referring to the boy in the entry or the story itself and forgot to make that clear, you shouldn't say things like this in constructive feedback. Never make critique personal, okay?

Overall the review for Written in the Stars comes across as bashing instead of constructive to me and while it's perfectly fine to not like something, I'd rather not see bashing.

I hope this helps to understand the rule about feedback being respectful and constructive. I'm not asking to only say good things about an entry, that doesn't help the writer, but try to formulate the bad things in a way that it helps the writer understand where they went wrong. And again, thanks for taking the time to provide feedback. I hope you will join some of the future contests too.

Everyone: thanks for your votes and feedback so far. I'm sure it means a lot to the writers.
There are still 6 days left for voting and feedback :)
Hidden 7 days ago 7 days ago Post by Roach
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Member Seen 19 hrs ago

Quick 'n dirty votes with brief reviews this time:

My vote goes to Written in the Stars.

Hidden 7 days ago Post by reaping Adder
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reaping Adder Crude, tactical, and forsakenly brave! I'm mighty.

Member Seen 1 day ago

@Calle that'd have worked in person, I'd just need to hear them back. But personal wasn't happening. I guess I can just find something cheery about new contestants work and vote simply. Or just contend, thanks.

Hidden 4 days ago Post by The Grey Dust
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The Grey Dust Evil Overlord / seeking Henchmen.

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Some terrible reviews.
Best taken with a grain of salt.
I will abstain from voting at this time.

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Hidden 2 days ago 2 days ago Post by Salenea

Salenea Gatewatcher

Member Seen 1 day ago

Good job everyone, I enjoyed reading the entries.

I vote for Interstellar

Of all the entries I liked Interstellar best. It has a nice flow and is very colourful and poetic. I love how it ends on a positive note.

Stars is a very close second, short, sweet and poetic but the — & ... made me prefer Interstellar over Stars.

The Stars& Written in the Stars both are a very nice concept.

I like how The Stars are wardens and the last sentence in the The Stars was really beautiful and speaks to me.

Written in the stars is a good narrative and I enjoyed reading it. Would make an awesome story or a ballad. I could hear a medieval minstrel sing it.

Hood of Shadows is interesting, the X-treme or not to X-treme feels very Shakespearian, but it's a bit chaotic. I can't really find what ties the sentences together and make it a whole.
Hidden 2 days ago Post by Calle
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Calle Rainbow Writer

Contest Mod Seen 6 hrs ago

The last 12 hours of the voting period has begun. Thank you to everyone who has voted so far.
Hidden 1 day ago Post by Calle
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Calle Rainbow Writer

Contest Mod Seen 6 hrs ago

The voting period has now closed. With a diverse set of entries, we had a diverse set of votes.

Stars, The Stars and Written In The Stars each got one vote, but the winner is Interstellar with 2 votes.

Interstellar will be added to the hall of fame soon.

I want to thank everyone who joined; I enjoyed reading your take on the prompt. And I want to thank the reviewers and voters too.

To give a sneak preview of what is to come:
In October there will be a new RPGC writing contest and even though the last art contest didn't go very well, I'm going to host a new one.
In November there will be no contest on the site as it is NaNoWriMo.
At the beginning of December there will be a microfiction and poetry contest again.
And we'll start the new year big with both an RPGC and an Art contest.

So keep an eye on the sidebar and the Writing Contest and Gallery subforums.
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