Hidden 1 mo ago 16 days ago Post by Calle
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RPGC #31 – Amnesia


Let’s have another writing contest, shall we? The theme of this month is Amnesia.

If you wonder if your idea fits with the theme you can always PM me, but the answer is probably yes. As long as your story is in one way or the other about amnesia, it will be accepted for the contest. But keep an eye on the wordcount limits that are mentioned in the rules below.




Core rules:
  • At all times follow the Fundamental Rules of the Guild and the Moderation Policy for Forum Contests.
  • After reading the above this should be obvious: No plagiarism and respect copyright laws.
  • The story you submit must be written by you and specifically for this contest.
  • This is a place for original fiction, no fanfiction allowed.
  • No explicit sex, but you may fade to black.
  • No excessive violence or gore.
  • Don’t forget to subscribe to this thread. You will receive updates on the contest and on the number of entries, and reminders about the deadline here. I will not PM them.
  • The winner of this contest will be honoured in our Trophy Case.


Contest rules:
  • There will be a minimum word count of 500 and a maximum of 5000
  • Please PM @Calle the entries and give it as title RPGC#31 - (Your Title).
  • Your entry can be anonymous or carry your name. Let me know what you want in the PM. If you don't specify, your entry will be posted anonymously, but you may always claim your story during or after the voting round.
    Even for anonymous entries, the name of the writer will be added to the entry in the Hall of Fame.
  • The deadline is April 5th, 9:00 CET, which is 7:00 game time (both times are in a.m.)





Number of entries so far: 1
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Hidden 1 mo ago Post by Calle
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Was... I supposed to do something here? I can't remember
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Hidden 28 days ago 28 days ago Post by Calle
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Two weeks until the deadline!
No entries yet, and for those who haven't started and wonder if there is enough time: there is. There was a contest in which everyone wrote stories in just 12 days for every round of the contest.
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Hidden 28 days ago Post by BangoSkank
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BangoSkank Halfway Intriguing Halfling

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Amnesia by Bango

"I was going to make an entry,
I forgot"
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Hidden 21 days ago Post by Calle
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One more week people!
Hidden 17 days ago Post by Calle
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two days left before the deadline. If you have written something, now is the time for a read-through and edit round before submitting it.
Hidden 16 days ago Post by Calle
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And we've got out first entry for this contest.
Hidden 15 days ago Post by Calle
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The last 24 hours have begun.
Hidden 14 days ago Post by Calle
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This contest is now closed for entries.

With 1 entry a voting thread is not needed, because that is an automatic win.

I would like to ask the people subscribed to this thread and others reading this to read this entry and maybe give a little feedback. I'm sure the writer will appreciate that.

Here is the winning entry of this round, which will also be added to our hall of fame:



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Hidden 6 days ago 6 days ago Post by Kassarock
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Kassarock I had a fancy colour one of these, then RPG died

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Like Bango, I intended to do something for this, but rather than forgetting, call my failure poor time management.

Anyway, I will attempt to redeem myself by giving feedback for the one brave soul who did submit.

Overall I liked the premise of the story, two lovers, one who can't remember the other but is torn by their residual emotions, on either side of a fantastical conflict. I particularly liked the bittersweet and unresolved ending, it would have come across as a bit to saccharine I think to have Thomas's amnesia so easily resolved.

Where I think there is some room for improvement is the order perhaps in which we see elements of Thomas's memory resurface. In their first encounter we learn that he does have lingering emotional feelings, at the end we learn that he does have some specific memories (Cassie's signature spell). I think it could have been more impactful perhaps if you had flipped these two revelations. The discovery of Thomas's feelings is the more emotionally impactful of the two, and should therefore in my opinion be saved for the climax of the story.

The fact that we know that Thomas already feels for Cassie also slightly undermines the tension of the end of the fight with the Hybrid. What if Cassie had somehow broken free, or doesn't see how the Hybrid is slain, all she see's is her lover standing over her, sword in hand. The moment of tension that would create and the thoughts it would send running both through Cassie's and the reader's heads (is he about to kill her, or save her, does he even remember), would have been an improvement as well I think.

Other than that there a couple of minor points, I think you seemed to have missed a search and replace in the text? There was an anomalous <evilguy> in there. A bit of the dialog also verged on author exposition, particularly the section where Cassie explains what Resonators are to Erin. Erin is a resonator, surely she should already know all of this? However, more subtle exposition can be very difficult in the short story format, where you much more pressed for space, and especially when dealing with fantastical worlds and concepts.
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