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6 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
7 yrs ago
On Hiatus
7 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
7 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
5 likes
8 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
6 likes

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Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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The car talk got Constance mulling over something Edward had said a little bit earlier: the island did not have planes. As the others discussed the proper use of the word “car” versus “automobile”, gears in Constance’s head began to turn. Flight was a powerful tool, and with the secrets to it being locked on this island the new inventor of the airplane could easily monopolize the market. Constance furrowed her brow. Although her factories had built airplanes, she did not know the ins and outs of engineering. There were people on the Garrloch that knew, of course, and perhaps the blueprints to the Endurance was hanging about, but getting access to either of those seemed like a pipe dream, another flight of fancy. She sighed.

“What did Maxine say in there?”

Constance looked over at the speaker. It was Raymond. The man seemed almost permanently latched to Juliette. Perhaps they were dating, perhaps one of them was using the other as an accessory. He asked the question twice, although Constance couldn’t be one hundred percent sure that it had really been the same question. After all, the only word she could make out when he spoke in his native tongue was “Maxine”. Juliette spoke first, giving Constance a second to think if she should even tell the man what Maxine had asked her—it had been a private conversation, after all, and this Raymond could just be trying to stir the pot around town. Still, Constance knew that if she said nothing then Luna, like some kind of twisted angel on her shoulder, would go ahead and expound the truth. Better to have the words come from her mouth than that of a pit viper.

“She didn’t say anything bad about you, if that’s what you are asking. She’s simply a bored, older woman trying to get some thrills by playing matchmaker in her spare time. I had hardly shaken her hand before she was thinking of men which she could offer mine to,” said Constance, smiling lightly. “One of them, Joseph Geralt, is going to be meeting us at the Obelisk, I’m afraid.” She gave Raymond a teasing wink. “You’ll distract him for me if he turns out to be a bore, won’t you? Hmph, maybe I’ll just pass him off onto Luna. I’m sure if I just pretend to like him she’d be more than happy to steal him away.”

She made a disgusted face at the thought, and then turned back to Juliette and Raymond. “So, obelisks and engagements aside, what is the must-do thing on this island? No, scratch that, I don’t want anything touristy. Where’s your favorite place on this island?”
Must've been some big crickets.
@Mercenary Lord


I will try and get a post out by Saturday, Sunday if I'm a real jerk.

It's to hold off the upcoming bat shit crazy, I swear.
Ashley Wyatt Harper


Harper balanced a plate on his hand as he inspected the food, pretending that he wasn’t absolutely ravenous and ready to just throw away his already miniscule amount of manners and devour the whole platter. He grabbed a strawberry between his thumb and forefinger, holding it up to the sky and squinting at it like a jeweler looking over a diamond before setting it down on his plate, his hand already reaching for another one to begin the whole song-and-dance over again. Harper had to give it up to Iggy. Even if this entire thing turned out to be a complete bust and a waste of time, the noble had gone out of his way on this banquet. Of course, it paled greatly in comparison to the feasts held during the Festival of the Blue Sun, but then again, everything did. He popped a bit of bread in his mouth and practically shuddered. When was the last time he had bread that wasn’t stale? He took back what he thought earlier: this was greater than any Blue Sun Brunch he had ever been too.

As he chewed on a slice of meat and practically melted where he stood, Harper took a second to replay his meeting with Ignis in his mind. It had gone better than he had anticipated—he was gearing up for being thrown out in the dirt, especially after that old man had piped up—and he silently promised to himself that he would keep his nose clean. He was grateful of this chance, truly, but he didn’t know how to express it to the noble without coming off as even slippier than he feared he already had. He’d just have to prove it in the arena, and as long as Iggy kept supplying him with meals like this Harper would do whatever he can to make sure that they won on the terms Iggy had put down.

"Well between the two of us, I see quite a few large weapons and a girl has to wonder if that's the only one they've got."

A split-second reaction was all that kept the mountain of food Harper had been balancing on his plate from becoming a blessing for the ants as he choked on a mouthful of food, caught off-guard by the comment that wasn’t completely kept away from the rest of the table. Clearing his throat with a little bit of wine, Harper set his plate down on the table and pretend that he was distracted by something off in the distance, cocking his head ever so slightly to better eavesdrop on the conversation between the two women that was certain to be both fascinating and informative. Their tones grew hushed as they whispered back and forth, and instead of words all Harper could hear was mumble mumble Ignis mumble mumble Tyren mumble mumble Harper THUNK CRASH FUCK!

Harper whipped his head around so fast that he heard his neck pop, his eyes shooting daggers at Pops as the Tyreni laid out the practice dummy. C’mon, Harp, you shouldn’t even be listening in on those ladies, he thought as he leaned against the table and watched the dummy splinter against the ground, his expression softening. The Tyreni was clearly older than the rest of them by a good chunk of change, and the way he was swinging that big blade earlier around like it was twig told Harper that he wasn’t just some failed stonemason trying to earn some quick gold. Harper drummed his fingers on his chin. The man’s style was rough, yet well-crafted. Calculated, yet wild.

The crowds would love him.

Harper, right now, loved him, because the man decided not to try and destroy any more of the noble’s practice dummies, which meant he could now completely focus once again on listening in on a conversation that was not his. Aaaaaaand they were talking about deserts. Unless he was missing out on some new innuendo, the interesting part had gone past. Sighing, Harper hung his head, sadly grabbing another chunk of fruit and popping it in his mouth. As if by miracle, his mood was almost instantaneously brightened as he felt the sweet juices run down his throat. How had he gone so long being away from the gladiator life? Damn those wasted days.

Ignis was walking over. Harper took a quick second to wipe the food from his mouth and straightened up, trying to appear to be the exemplar gladiator if only minus the muscles and the magic.

"Might I have your attentions, please?"

”We are yours, my lord. There’s no need to ask for our attention, you already have it,” said Harper, already leaning back against the table and settling in, his fingers creeping once more towards the food on his plate.
@Kymera@EisenhornI'm just gonna nervously sit over here by myself for now.

<Snipped quote by Kymera>

Ah, but here I thought this one was full?
and was very sad to see the "full" banner


You...might wanna check in with @CollectorOfMyst about that. There was a cut-off, but one of our players did have a computer death so we are technically down a person. Maybe with some grovelling you might be able to change the boss's heart.
Okay! I got some free time before I spend the weekend bouncing between work, hangovers, and catching up on Twin Peaks, so I should probably get writing. If any of the fellas would want to be talked at I mean stuck in a conversation with Harper, just give me a shout and we can get our own super secret pirate pad where we can talk about manly shit, like trucks or whatever.

<Snipped quote by Eisenhorn>

Hm. Experiments shall need to be conducted. You know. For science.


Proof that science can, indeed, go too far.
The next collab is just going to be all of the dudes trying to pretend that they aren't intently listening in on the first half of the conversation between Alia and Kailea.

@CollectorOfMyst Two hammers. A warhammer, and his lovehammer.


As far as I am concerned, it is officially canon that Ansgar's new nickname is the Lovehammer.
C.C., who never had a hangover because he literally was unable to drink, was unable to comprehend the priorities of the dazed and likely still drunk partiers. He had predicted that, upon hearing news of the Count’s death, all of the supernaturals would instantly declare a blood vendetta upon that jerk Nemsemet and zip off to the museum with fangs and claws drawn and loaded down with whatever was the garlic-equivalent for mummies. Instead, somebody had chirped up about how they could murder a plate of crispy, golden hash browns smothered in cheese with a side of that good, country-style gravy, and the next thing C.C. knew he was alone in the kitchen as the hungover horde shuffled off like zombies towards Sally’s Diner. He just barely made it in time to hitch a ride as a shadowy squiggle on the underside of Rusty’s hog, clinging on for his dear life as he back closer than comfortable to the road.

Of course, the diner was just lousy with humans. C.C. didn’t know why, but there was something about the diner atmosphere, and Sally’s Diner in particular, that brought out sad, lonely adult men who sat at their table, drank their coffee, ate their eggs, and then stared at the waitresses until it was time to order lunch. Maybe the food was just that good; C.C. couldn’t tell. Regardless, he was forced to hide himself in the back, knowing full well if he made an appearance he would cause quite the panic amongst the normal populace. To save himself from boredom, the bogeyman took the time to count the corpses of cockroaches lying beneath the grills and the prep tables, and when he ran out of dead ones to count, he moved on to the living ones.

He had hit one hundred and thirteen when a cacophony of clattering utensils, heavy thuds, and muted shouts arose his suspicion. Shifting out from the shadows, C.C. crept up and poked his head through the kitchen’s window to look out at the lobby. Apparently a large group of diners had just suffered from a rather extreme case of food poisoning, which wasn’t much of a surprise after watching the cook’s fairly liberal interpretation of the sign hanging next to the sink about handwashing. What was a surprise was seeing Kid Pharaoh walk in through the front door, the little bells on a chain jingling to announce his arrival like an ensemble of trumpeters. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this jerk was working for Nemsemet; C.C. was already fading back into the shadows when the herald began to speak. Someone else would deal—

Hold up! He just said what? Nuh-uh, the Court was not hereby absolved; they had enough of this sort of nonsense during the sixties and seventies when the druids tried claiming that it was unnatural for anything to have rule over anything else. Now, C.C. was not just going to standby and let this little goatman spread slander; the bogeyman sprung forth from the kitchen window, temporarily shifting into a cyclone of shadows before reforming himself a few feet away from the satyr. He recognized this satyr as Billy Spiros, a slippery fellow who had always been on the wrong side of the Courts but was never a big enough deal for them to bother taking him in. C.C. wasn’t capable of frowning, but he would if he could.

“Now just one second, Mister,” said C.C., practically bellowing. “I’ll have you know that according to Article Three of the Apprentice Betrayal Act of 1873 the Court is incapable of being absolved unless by official order from the majority of higher Court officials and a motion for absolution cannot be made whilst one of the Courts is still in the mandated decade-long grieving process for a death of a Count. Obviously, then, it is impossible for the Courts to be absolved. The thought that Nemsemet would even think he’d be able to pull a fast one on us like that is, honestly, pathetic,” said C.C.with a laugh.

“One more thing.” C.C. took a step towards the satyr, the shadows around him rippling. “On top of murder, Nemsemet is guilty of violation of the Concealment Edict and of tax evasion, and should turn himself into the nearest Courthouse lest he wants to also be charged with prevention of justice and failure to appear. And I warn you that if he does not show up he will have C.C. Schwarzman to answer to, and I am a very persistent bogeyman.” C.C. paused as the fire fell from his voice. “Also, we’ll be sure to assign a lawyer to his case, and he will be tried fairly before a jury of his peers. Now make like a tree, and please politely leave before I am forced to raise my voice again.”
@The Darklight ProjectAw yeah the Bookhouse Boys are at it again!
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