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8 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
9 yrs ago
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9 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
10 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
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10 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
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Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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@Ruler Inc@Fernstone@Ciaran
Town Hall



Penny huffed as the Mayor told Sharon that her mother’s murder wasn’t important. All things considered, he wasn’t wrong, but even Penny had enough social grace to never say something like that. She stared at the glass sheet the Mayor held out to the group and prayed it was shatterproof. At least they didn’t need to go to the library—assuming the others grabbed the map. She tried to reach out to Justin telepathically: We found something useful here and are heading back. There is a map in the library. Did you find it?

"... Because in the next minute or so, I am going to die."

“From your injury?” asked Penny. “Or…” She looked down at his gun and frowned. None of them had anyway of really helping the Mayor, and if it was that then patching up his wound wouldn’t be what he needed anyway. She sighed and called out to the group. “We need to head back. Here, Min,” she handed him the glass map, “You seem like the least likely to drop this. Britney, Lynette, if you could help Paige. Billy, stop dicking around. Caelea, take point. I’ll be right behind everyone.”

“I know you don’t believe me,” said Penny, turning back to the Mayor. “But I am going to stop this thing. Maybe it’ll eventually get out, but it won’t be while I’m alive. So thank you. Really.” She smiled softly. “That might sound totally empty but if you actually knew me at all you would’ve realized how difficult it is for me to say that. Is there anything else you’d want to get off of your chest before, well…”



Library



Rita frowned. The Speaker’s answers had not satisfied her itch but instead created even more questions. It seemed like the obvious thing to believe was that the Speaker was full of shit and that nobody in their group would betray them, yet Rita had her doubts. Britney lied to them every single second she could. Billy had tried to use her like a canary in a mine. Sharon practically committed manslaughter. Not everybody in their group was a good person.

Hell, did she really know any of these people well enough to trust them? She liked Tuyen and Rien, but she didn’t really know them. They were just all stuck in a horrible situation together She respected Penny, but the girl was so gung-ho about destroying the Glutton that it was at least plausible that she might’ve made a secret deal with the Child. Rita felt her pulse quicken, and it had already been going fast. She tried shaking the thought from her head. She had spent the night in Penny’s room, and the girl never made any move to try and steal her abstraction.

“Yeah, let’s leave.” She felt Tuyen near her as another burst of far-off cackling filled the air.

“Yeah…” said Rita, following along with the group, her mind elsewhere.


@OppositionHera ya go, boss.
Should have a post by Saturday.
I'm struggling between 4 different character concepts and I've got no idea which one to choose, arrrgghhghdhgdsfjh.


Float 'em by us!
@OppositionOh hey, missed the interest check but I really dig this idea. I'm toying with a few ideas at the moment, but I'm leaning towards a wannabe stage actress who can take on different "parts" to help the team out, be it hiding in plain sight as a new intern, pretending to be an exec from the home office, or just bullshitting someone long enough for the others to come up with a plan of action. Kind of a mix between the bait/distraction and a scout/plant.
There's an eldritch abomination out there


Yeah, mosquitoes. Those things can't be from this plane of existence.
Yo, Montana is, like, really pretty. Almost makes the outdoors bearable.
Oh hey I'm back
Prudence Stolz

Somewhere Else — Another Time


Kill or be killed. When Prudence had first heard her captain say that, she had taken it as some kind of morbid encouragement—either you kill the enemy, or the enemy will kill you. It was simple enough for her to understand, and she proved to be pretty good at it. When cannons sounded in the distance and waves of salt water splashed them as they prepared to be boarded, she could always hear the captain’s words echoing in her head. Kill or be killed. The words were on her lips as she weaved her sword like crimson paintbrush through pirates that had come to plunder the riches of people she didn’t even care about. All that mattered were those words.

She had never considered until this morning that those words might’ve been a threat.

Prudence stood shoulder-to-shoulder with four other mariners. The captain stood to their side while the rest of the crew flanked behind them to watch the scene unfold despite the chill coming from the light rain. The sailor next to her mumbled some concern about their muskets getting ruined by the rain, and Prudence prayed for him to be right. She’d take a backfire and a couple of missing fingers over what was about to come. The captain called for them to raise their arms. She did as she was told and hoped that the others wouldn’t notice the shake in her arms. It was so strange. She never hesitated once when it was a pirate. Then again, a pirate was never survived long enough to get pulled in front of a firing squad.

Cowards, on the other hand, found their attempts to save their own skin often put them on the fast track to the one thing they had tried to avoid. So was the case for the man before them now. He had been caught hiding in the kitchen during the last attack, and the captain saw fit to make an example out of him. His head was covered with a bag, his mouth had been gagged, and his arms tied before he was attached to a pulley and hoisted up high so that all could see his legs kick in a panicked, arrhythmic fashion. Some of the men prodded one another and pointed at the dark stain forming in the coward’s pants, laughing at the sight. They usually did that. Piss themselves and get laughed at. Normally, Prudence laughed at them too.

This wasn’t a normal case.

She wiped her face and tried to steady her musket. Maybe the others would think she was wiping rain from her eyes. The captain’s voice roared above the sea. Shots rang out; she fired her gun, too. Prudence knew the rules. If she didn’t fire she’d be the next one up there. She aimed her musket high, but she had always been a rubbish aim. The legs stopped jerking and the coward’s body hung slack, the sack over his face quickly turning a muddy red. It was her bullet. It had to be. The captain smiled. The crew cheered. Only the men and women in the firing squad were quiet.

On the captain’s order, the body was swung out over the sea and cut free. Prudence passed her musket to the quartermaster and headed underdeck. Her job was done for the day. She made her way to her cot and pulled out something from beneath the mattress. She sat down on the edge of her cot and buried her face in the green scarf. It still smelled vaguely of coward.


Great Hall/Throne Room — Late Morning



“Look lively you rotten mutts.”

Salty air and a wet deck was replaced with the scent of despair and the feeling of cold, wet stone. Prudence stirred from her uncomfortable sleeping position and the memory of the past slipped away. Too exhausted to try and argue, military routine took hold of her as the guard’s orders pulled on her strings to make her dance the prisoner’s waltz. Her cell was opened and for the briefest of moments she thought about attempting an escape as she was unshackled. Before she could figure out the best way to inadvertently get herself killed she was chained up and marched out of the dungeon with a handful of other prisoners. They were lead through a twisted route of halls and stairs. Prudence bit the inside of her cheek, the fresh pain served as a distraction from her old aches.

Eventually they were led into a grand room. It was nicer than anything Prudence had ever seen, and it was certainly nicer than the gallows she had been expecting. The Red Sail Brothel had a certain sheen to its environment, but there was a cheapness and dirtiness to the sheer curtains and gilded bannisters that made it abundantly clear that there wasn’t anything fancy about the business that was conducted there. This room was fancy. A single decoration from that room was worth more than any one of the poor bastards chained up with her. Taperesties and pretty lights and all sorts of other rich bullshit just lying around surrounded by a bunch of guards decked out in the most expensive armor there was to dissuade anyone from snagging some art.

Vallec was busy talking with the High King. Perhaps it should’ve been strange for someone so low as Prudence to be in the same room as the king, but she hardly even noticed them. Servants had arrived and presented a massive feast on the table before them, and she felt her stomach growl as she looked at the food. Thoughtfulness, never her strong part, fled instantly as the guards guided her to a chair and freed her from her chains. She didn’t go for a weapon, even though her dagger was right there, although she did take a second to grab her green scarf and tie it around her head before she began to dig into the food.

She didn’t even bother to sit as she ate greedily, shoveling whatever she could get her hands on into her mouth between gulps of wine. It blew away the meal Selena had made for her yesterday, although there was hardly anytime for Prudence to actually taste away the food. It was only after eating more than her share of the food that she collapsed back in her chair, grabbed a horn of mead, and kicked her boots up on the table.

”Now that almost makes up for everything,” said Prudence as she picked over a bone before flicking it on the floor behind her. She looked up at the King on his throne. “So this the usual treatment for crooks around here? Cause then I’m pleading guilty to whatever crap reason it was that your goons arrested me. Otherwise, I’m already in a business with someone else, and this meeting is just gonna be a waste of my time.”



@Ruler Inc
Town Hall


Holy shit, the idiot defense actually worked. Penny felt a heavy weight lift off of her as Billy stumbled away from the Mayor, but tensed up again as the Mayor lit up at the sight of Britney. Penny hemmed as he started spilling the beans. For such a big secret, it seemed like half the town had been involved in this damn conspiracy. What if her parents had known? Were they even still alive? Worse yet, what if they were Corrupted? She lit a cigarette so she’d stop biting on her lip. She doubted the Mayor would protest between all of his nihilism.

“Hold up, man,” said Billy as the Mayor revealed the nature of his Abstraction. “If you can see the future, then why even draw a gun on me? Wouldn’t you know I wasn’t one of those loonies?”

“Billy, I doubt he ever considered you at all,” said Penny, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

“Fuck that, dude,” said Billy. “Fuck that, man.” He turned to the Mayor. “How do you even know your Abstraction even works? Mine doesn’t even do shit. It’s worthless. How come yours works then? If you tell us something is the future, then we don’t do it, then you didn’t see the future. And if you tell us something is the future, and we do it, then we were really just doing what you said.” He waved his hands around as he tried to make some kind of point. “Maybe you just see something and you think it’s the future when really it’s all just a big coincidence so far, or like, it’s not just the future but a future and there are ways to go about and change it or—”

“Or maybe fucking Nostradamus here actually creates a reality just by thinking of it and just because we’re in a goddamn basement doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend to be high enough to have this kind of fucking conversation with you, Billy, so go search for the map while the adults talk,” snapped Penny. She ashed her cigarette and turned to the Mayor, annoyed with his attitude as much as she was with Billy.

“Listen, I haven’t fought an indestructible, axe-wielding bully, a swarm of human-hungry insects, weird zealot zombies, some avatar of a thing I can’t even begin to understand, and the urge to bitchslap half the people in this room just to have some shitty, schlubby politician that I didn’t even vote for tell me that the future is futile. I literally do not care if all I ever amounted to be was just some pesky little gnat buzzing around the Glutton’s head, because I will at least die knowing that, for the briefest moment in time, Penny Lawson stuck it to the biggest asshole in the universe,” she said, smirking. “So—”

“If you knew the future how’d you get hurt?” shouted Billy from behind a shelf. “Fucked that right up, didn’t—”

He shut up as Penny’s cigarette went blasting past his head. She lit another one.

“So since we really don’t have time for this,” she continued, “how about you tell me where I can find a map for the mountain’s mines so I can find the Glutton and kick him in the dick.”



@Ruler Inc
Library



Rita wasn’t glad that Justin practically dragged her along, but she didn’t let go. It was such a strange feeling that the library, something she once considered a safe haven, now filled her with so much dread. When the Speaker appeared she barked out a noise of surprise before covering her mouth, embarrassed that her reaction wasn’t a cool display of annoyance. If it could just pop up wherever, what else could do the same? She didn’t like cowering, but there wasn’t much else she could do. It wasn’t like her Abstraction gave her the power to talk something to death.

She grimaced at the recollection. They didn’t need to see that. Why did it think that they needed to see that? It was just a cruel joke, another sick game. When they couldn’t be physically beaten down by Scott, they’d be mentally beaten down by the Speaker. She hated this. Why didn’t they just grab the map and beat feet out of here? She was ready to tell the others just to start going when the Speaker said something that struck a nerve buried deep down within her.

The Speaker said, "I speak the truth, and the undeniable truth. I feel it is the duty of higher being such as myself to enlighten the deceived."

And Rita doubted that very much. In fact, it was utter bullshit, right? As another recollection played, Rita glowered. The Speaker kept showing them half-truths to get them to turn against the Child, and Justin made a good point about it possibly just being a fabrication. She didn’t want to even play its game, but she felt compelled to go through with it. Hell, maybe she did seek the truth after all, whatever the hell truth even was. Fortunately for her, she could get all of the answers. Rita stepped out from behind Justin and Tuyen. She took a breath, and then looked up at the Speaker’s orange eyes.

”Did that last thing you show us actually happen? Who was the hidden person?” She grinned. ”Or did you just lie to us? Are you even capable of lying?”

She didn’t know if her Abstraction queued questions up. She didn’t know if it even worked on non-humans. But it felt good to ask. She had a couple dozen more start forming in her head. Where’s the Glutton? Can we escape it? How do we kill it? Are you the same thing as the Child? How do we get rid of both of you? Are you called the Speaker because you never shut the fuck up?

The list went on and on.
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