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2 days ago
Current Anyone feel like it? irs.gov/payments
2 likes
6 days ago
Remember lads, hung and hanged are two different things. One is how far your two legs are off the ground, the other is how close your third leg is.
6 likes
17 days ago
Since it's officially December, you are now legally obligated to put a Christmas hat on your profile picture.
5 likes
18 days ago
can we amend the constitution so you get the right to leave if the teacher isn't here in fifteen minutes
7 likes
3 mos ago
Life tip: if you get in trouble, just double down on your behaviour. Being louder just means you're more right.
8 likes

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Breath in, breath out. The nauseating exhaustion that slowed her began to subside. Adrenaline that had been empowering her had faded and she was left with a heart that felt as though it was going to pop out of her chest. Her leg began to hurt even more. How she pulled through was a mystery to her. However, now wasn't the time to rest. The wilds wasn't their ally. Not now, anyways. Who could imagine what kind of monster cleaned up these scenes?

The duty of collecting their precious loot had been relegated onto the exhausted Ash. She wasn't really able to find much. There was probably a rusty knife between where the goblin had died and where Ash was tackled, but had it been thrown off it would be nigh impossible to find. The mostly decapitated goblin had some dirty metal earrings, but they were just that. Dirty metal earrings. In fact, Ash wasn't really able to tell if they were actually metal. If she just cut the ear off...

No. Experience was enough. Ash still had enough money to eat. What was most important was getting back to the church and getting healed.

She turned to Muu. Broken and despaired, Muu had collapsed crying. Ash had walked up to her and gently placed her right hand on Muu's back.

"Hey," she softly whispered, "you did great. Everything's going to be okay. We need to move, though."

After a quick and gentle rub, she held her right hand out for Muu.
Ah.

It worked.

Tired from cleaving, Ash huffed and huffed. The urge to vomit filled her throat as she weezed and huffed, but she refused to. She tried her hardest not to. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to take slow, deep breaths in an effort to not get sick. Not a single thought crossed her mind. Huffing like a kid at fat camp, her body feeling like it was going to give out. She opened her eyes to the decapitated goblin.

It was less disgusting than she thought. The deer was much worse. Even the rabbit made her feel worse. The goblin was, instead, coated in enough red to conceal most of the damage. There were no organs to touch and deal with, blood to let, or anything. It was simply a corpse. It was a mushy, blood covered body with no life.

And that was it.

There was no point in dwelling on it. As much as Ash wanted to rest, she couldn't. Looking over to Muu revealed the other goblin fleeing. The three of them were, technically, safe. If Ash had more energy, she could have nocked an arrow and fired. She couldn't spare enough energy to reach for her bow.

Her machete coated in a thick viscera, she instinctively dragged it across the riverbed. She had no interest in carrying a blood-soaked machete with her.

"Let's... take what we can... and get out of here."
Don't think about the pain. It was as simple as that. Pain was only a neurological response to physical trauma. It was nothing. It meant nothing. As long as she didn't think about the stab wound on her shin or her torn hair, then she was practically as right as rain. She wasn't, but she still could keep her wits about her. Thanks to the efforts of her party, she had time to breath. Time to think. Matteo had the upper hand, but who knew how long he could last. Muu was in trouble, but she was more competent that Matteo. Being choked by a scarf wasn't the worst. At least, that's what Ash thought.

"Matteo! Keep him down!"

She had decided to help the boy. Her biggest issue was the goblins kept dodging. If the goblin was restrained, then Ash could easily hit it. Ignore the pain. The mantra continued. She stood and charged towards Matteo. A quick cleave downwards on the goblin's neck. Once, twice, three times. As many times as it would take, she would cleave into the goblin's neck. As long as Matteo could restrain the goblin, she could do it. Then, the two could push their numbers advantage.
In Rengoku 22 days ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
One Boy vs A Few Hundred Skeletons

@eRode


Peering through the immediate entrance didn't confer much insight to Nano. To the right of the hole was collapsed brick; half of the castle wall had been blocked off. The left side was still open, however, allowing him to enter. Once he entered, all sound seemed to hush. The soft winds that blew tall grass had vanished and left nothing to hear. There was too little to hear. It was eerily quiet, the only noises coming from the boy. Each footstep that Nano made seemed to reverberate throughout the castle. His own breath filled his ears. If he had stopped moving and held his breath, it was almost certain that he would hear his blood move through his body.

Breaking the silence was a creaking rattle. Nano's eyes had been adjusting to the darkness and—thanks to the occasional crack in brick—could see his surroundings. The ground was filled with bones. At least a dozen skulls, eight sternums, four legs, and more arms than Nano could count.

It was rather hard to discern why there were so many arms, but it was certain whoever owned this castle in the past had an army.

Not a single piece of equipment was left on the ground. Besides the dust, dirt, and bones, it was extraordinarily clean. One would expect trash left from adventurers who entered to clear skeletons, but there was nothing left.

Up ahead, however, was four skeletons. They seemed to be uninterested in patrolling or doing anything. In fact, Nano wasn't sure if they were even animated. They were all sitting, lying down, or looking away. By moving quickly, Nano could use piles of fallen brick as cover to proceed past them.


It hurt.

Being yanked by her hair, while it was short, sent jolts of pain deep into her core. Even though it hurt, even though she couldn't stand it, she couldn't stop here. It would only hurt more. But, even so, it was hurting less and less. Pain had been replaced by an inalienable cold. A frigid numbness that restrained her movements. If she could see herself, she would only see a figure more pallid than she already was. In fact, instead of her head slamming into the unforgiving stone, she felt it be soothed by the comparatively nice mud. She kept her wits about her. She forced herself to.

How she regretted not running away.

She still held on to her machete. While she was thrown onto the ground, her grip on her weapon remained tight. She needed to defend herself. With barely any time to react, she held her blade up. An attempt to block the dagger from coming down on her neck. Only, she didn't focus on the dagger. Held in the path of the goblin's wrists—their natural arc as they swung down—she attempted to block with both hands on opposite sides of her machete. Even if the dagger touched her throat, she was certain she would be fine. As long as it didn't go deeper than her skin, she wouldn't bleed out. That's what her instinct told her. She didn't know if it was true or not, but she would have to try. She was running out of options.


Province of Ilagorn -- Outside the Adventurer's Guild
12th Hour of the 2nd Day, Summer



"Ara ara," Siwan said in response to Orena, "my answer is zero. I don't have any money. My people live off the land." He chuckled and gave her a warm smile. "I didn't say it earlier, but I am both a healer and a hunter. I know how to use my spear and make camp. I can also hunt animals and traverse the trees. Ask me anything about animals, too. I've learned about them all! By luck, Ier had chosen the best task for me!"

Even though they had quickly acquired an indelible leader, the process left a bit of a weird taste in his mouth. While it was nice to do zero work, he hadn't really followed a leader such as her. In fact, he never really had a leader before. If Ier-Brier yelled for him to do a pushup, he probably would do it out of confusion. Her frantic pace was something that he wasn't quite used to, however. All his life, he had gone at his own pace. He did what he wanted when he wanted to do it. To have someone else do it all for him made him feel as though he was being dragged along by his feet. It wasn't really that pleasant, but he didn't really mind it enough to bring it up as an issue.

"Maybe I should lead the way once we arrive at the trees? Marching like a soldier is hard in the forest."
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In Rengoku 29 days ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Where the Wallflowers Bloom

The Love Problems of Drunkards
@Inertia@Hero


Finishing watching the very sad and pathetic drunks cry, Étoile and Rei had decided to visit the fortune teller after their conversation. Entering the sandwiched building, they parted the thick fabric door and entered. What had awaited them was nothing but darkness; what little glow entered could revealed the wooden floorboard, but vanished as the fabric settled. Surrounded by complete darkness, the duo was initially disoriented until a voice pierced the confusion.

"Welcome, moon and star."

A single blue flame formed from nothing in the center at the room. No bigger than one's fist, it revealed very little of the room, save for a small wooden table and the figure sitting behind. Up close, Magnolia's presence was considerably easier to discern. Layers of thin fabrics draped on her body managed to conceal most of her motions, yet still leave her figure to be viewed unabidable. Her face was concealed by a black veil attached to a circlet far more ornate than a hokey town like this.

"I've been expecting you."

Her hand moved over the table, her sleeve dragging along the surface, only to reveal a crystal ball resting on the table.

"You've come a long way. Care to reveal your fate?"



Cliffside Medicine

The Inevitable
@Raijinslayer


Gil listened intently to the requests of the duo. "Not really much coin we can spare here," he apologized, "so doing this is more of an act of charity. But I think we can part with a few supplies."

He took a break from caring for his patients and entered an adjacent room. After a few moments, he came back out holding a rudimentary cloth bag. Rather, it was more of a blanket tied into a bag with some rope. Even though the bag was barely a quarter full, it held some bare necessities: a large canteen, a small brick of food that looked as though it were a bizarre love child of mush and jerky wrapped in parchment, two torches, a finger-sized stick of iron and a sharp piece of flint, and a plain kitchen knife tied to a broom handle.

"That's all we can spare for now. Feel free to keep them. Oh, except the knife. We only have two of them and we're still trying to find the other one. As for the path, it shouldn't be too hard. There's a worn out dirt road that splits every so often. It leads right out of the closest gate. Just keep on the left most path and, whatever you do, don't ignore the paths and head straight north. On the leftmost path, about three and a half hours in, you should reach a mountainous pass. You know, mountain on one side, cliff on the other. Just continue up for an hour and a half and you should reach that hermit's house. If it gets too late, feel free to stay the night. That weirdo's fine with company."

Gil went back to look after the patients, continuing his observations and check-ups.

"Not really much about the journey. Goblins inhabit the wilds, but the guards usually clear all of them from paths. The medicine man is a bit of a basket case, the small, pushy nurse stifled a laugh, but he's harmless. Oh, and good luck."
_______________________________________

After leaving the city, Korrey had found himself on the path to the hermit. His partner in crime had gotten cold feet, choosing to stay safe in the confines of the town. All that was left for Korrey was to travel.

His small journey had lead him past acres of farmland. Cows, horses, and pigs all roamed freely within enclosed pastures while fields of golden wheat warmed the land around them. If it weren't for the occasional guard walking the same path as he was, he wouldn't have seen a single soul. The farmland, however, didn't continue forever. By the time he had reached the fork in the road, the wheat had been replaced by untamed vegetation. Bushes of berries, thin trees, and traces of wild animals had given the path a more dangerous appearance. Hidden behind the trees left of the fork, the summit of a mountain barely managed to break the treeline. It was a long walk, but the mountain was his destination. That was to say, unless something happened.

About thirty minutes into the forest, a singular goblin holding an undersized club stood in the middle of the path leapt out at Korrey. It was ready for a fight and was eyeballin' the loot that Korrey held.



Heroes Wanted

@SilverPaw@Inkarnate@Sola


"Hell yea," Tien said, "geomancy is all about strength. It's also not really good up from a distance, so you gotta get in everthing's face. Hence, maul." Tien made a bizarre motion, as if he was unsheathing an invisible weapon and using his free hand to outline the non-existent hammer. "And I'm not really thinking of anything weird? But uh, if you're psychic, I apologize. Anyways, I was talking about why you'd need an animal, but you explained it, so you pretty much removed any sort of comedic confusion about the situation. So uh, illusion blood bag. I can quickly grab one on the way." He put two thumbs up and aimed them behind him.

When approached by two more women, his energetic, over the top face shot straight to the moon. He had a dumbass grin, contrasting with his "cool" face.

"Not skeleton hunting, treasure hunting. Yea, what Kat said was all right. Except the ruins are more southeast. If you go straight south, you end up in a real tough spot, so don't do that. He paused for a hot second then looked at Lexa. "That woman's just a worry wart. It ain't running to your death unless you die! Since you guys seem to have your junk in order, let's meet up at the south gate in about twenty minutes so I can grab all of my shit! If you ghost me, I'll be a very sad man!"



One Boy vs A Few Hundred Skeletons

An Old Man and His Guitar
@eRode


With a newly acquired bat in hand, Nano was prepared to smash bone skulls. Besides the bizarre looks he had gotten from onlookers, disturbed that he would even think to use the sacred man-portal-fountain to quench a hot piece of wood, nobody was really impressed by him messing around with his wood in public.

The trip southeast was uneventful. Following the paths was always boring. Besides the occasional greeting from a guard or farmer, it was entirely boring. About 15 minutes out on his journey, the farmland vanished into rolling plains. While Nano was a good 45 minutes away, the ruins were still visible—even if it was only a solitary black blip in the distance.

Arriving at the ruins, the great stone architecture was humbling. Half destroyed buildings had sunken within the ground, pillars had been toppled, and statues had been defaced by weather and adventurers. The largest structure was, of course, the castle. Still remaining (mostly) above ground, the castle was a testament of
whoever made it. While the main entrance had been collapsed, it was—or at least seemed—possible to scale it. Towards the left of the castle was a ladder, toppled over by wind. It seemed to be barely high enough to climb into a tower's window. On the right wall was a hole. Brick had been pushed out from the inside.

All that was left was his plan of attack.


hello police
If you're gonna claim themes for Siwan, where the hell is his Super Seducer ability?


located between his legs
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