Another NPC who's all about pumping up her chosen passion, huh? Something tells me that if Kaldorna and Graft worked together, whether on an event or in a fight, they'd make an unstoppable force of hype and advertisement. Nonstop over-the-top auditory bombardment!
I'm now imagining them riding in a commentators box mounted on the back of a heavily bio-modded hydra which has a bunch of loudspeakers bolted on the side. Look out new world, the Chateau needs fresh meat and we're going to get it one way or another!
Funnily enough, they're also exactly tied in total stats, at 520.
Well that's an odd coincidence. Possibly one I should ruin by lowering her stats a just touch so she ain't as strong as a floor boss.
Name: Kaldorna the Red-Eyed Mistress of Monsters Gender: F Age: 713 Appearance: Kaldorna is a female vampire with aging grey skin, hair white as death and glowing bloodshot eyes. She wears a stylish navy blue admiral's jacket which hides chainmail vest protecting her upper half, while down below she wears pantaloons, greaves and armored boots. All of her garments are elaborately decorated with golden thread, and all of them have seen a lot of wear and tear from being worn around monsters. She wears a simple cutlass at one hip and a brace of pistols around the other.
Occupation: Beast Master, Mistress of the Hunt, Sports Commentator. Residence: The Hunters Lodge, which houses the caretakers and hunters of the Beast Pens. Character Focus: Minion Master, Buff Caster, Monstrous Cavalry Personality: The Master of hunters and beasts values spectacle above all else. The thrill of the chase, the battles where everything is on the line, passion, rage, heroism, treachery, all the intense act and emotions that make people feel truly alive are the things she adores. Meanwhile she abhors undue cowardice and those who prey exclusively on those far weaker than themselves because it means they aren't challenging themselves.
When speaking they have a flare for the dramatic, and contained with the old woman are buckets of energy and enthusiasm for whatever task she sets her mind too. While she loves their master’s menagerie and his hunters their true passion is commentary. Under Kaldorna’s watch the area hosts more than simple battles to the death. Instead she ensures that the bouts get the passion and flare befitting such glorious combat, treating it as a veritable bloodsport Kaldorna turned her tongue to the task pumping up the excitement of both any onlookers and the combatants themselves and will sometimes even intervene if he feels like the fight is too one sided.
She cares a great deal about her beasts, but more so collectively than individually. Her creator insisted on capturing a breeding pair of every monster, and so the loss of an individual exhibit is not a tragedy. However, should all of a kind of beast die she would be distraught by the damage done to her creator’s prized collection.
Notable Equipment: Hunting Horn: Summons the Chateau’s monster hunters, a band of hardy warriors specialized in the art of capturing and subduing beasts of all shapes and sizes.
Cutlass and Flintlock: A pair of sidearms kept for only the most dire of circumstances when something or one manages to slip past her beats or she finds herself without their company.
Monsters Training Gear: Simple tools like a whistle, laser pointer, whip, chair and indestructible rubber balls for training, controlling and entertaining the various beasts under her command.
Wand of Commentary: A commentators microphone attached to a stick so it can be carried around and used for live commentary or interviews.
Creator Information: She was created by Sun200, the self proclaimed monster hunter extraordinaire who’s obsessive quest to capture two of every monster in the game, no matter how useless or hard to contain they where, for breeding purposes rapidly swelled the population of the beast pens to un-manageable levels. To handle the care of all these monsters Sun2 created Kaldorna at the behest of the guild so that they’d have someone, anyone, who could supervise the care of the hunter’s ever increasing menagerie of beasts. He wanted more than a simple warden however, and so Kaldorna was also placed in command of Sun2’s hunters while they where on base or acquiring food for the beasts and over organizing, supervising and presenting gladiatorial combat in the arena for entertainment and training purposes. . Total Level: 60 Class Levels: Beast Tamer(B): 15 High Tamer(H): 10 Rare Tamer(R): 5 Rider (C): 10 Dulist(C): 5 Bard(C): 2 WarLord(C): 3 Race Levels: Vampire Lord (H): 10
Dominion: “Beast Pen: The dwelling place of the "Pets" of the guild. Managed by the most savage servant of the Chateau, who communicates with the beasts as an equal. They are typically fed intruders, or, when invasions are running dry, low level monsters will be brought in to satisfy the beasts. The Pen also connects to an underground training area, where Death itself is warded against. Here, guild members and NPCs may spar with beasts of their level, in order to test themselves.”
wordcount: 483 (+1) Bowser: Level 5 EXP: /////////////////////////////////////////////////// (44/50) Kamek: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (22/40) Location: Lumbridge, the Land of Adventure @ProPro@Gentlemanvaultboy
As he had commanded so did they come. Or that was how Bowser saw it anyway. It helped that the troop had chosen the loot pile as the place to hang around while waiting to head out the door. First to roll up to the table was the courier, who inquired about taking the Frenzy Dust for themselves.
”WHAT? YEAH SURE TAKE THE WEIRD PLANT THING I DON'T CARE. IF ITS ON THE PILE IT’S UP FOR GRABS.” Bowser said, speaking the unspoken rule of the loot pile out loud.
”You can work with these... chems?” Kamek asked, actually paying attention to the bulk of the Courier's words instead of cherry picking things to be incredulous about ”Would that include items such as herbs and potions? Give me a moment while I...” The mage then began to rummaged around in his robes before finding, pulling out and then presented the Bloodwort Tonic and green herbs for the cowboy’s inspection ”Would you be able to do anything with these? Or is that outside your area of expertise?”
Next to arrive where their new recruit, the cadet, and Linkle, who took a bunch of fish scales and one of the 3 remaining charms respectively.
”GAHAHA, THAT’S THE SPIRIT!” the King praised both Linkle and Cadet’s enthusiastic responses to his call to adventure as they stepped up to join the crew. When he actually went to look at them he noticed that Linkle had absorbed yet another sprite, though she seemed no worse for wear because of it. A spot of hair dye and minor change of clothes would have had the same effect. However as he looked closer he saw that the spunky elf wasn't actually at 100% despite her incredibly chipper attitude. She sported a few scratches and a certain stiffness of limb that he would not have noticed if he hadn't been taking in her new appearances.
Upon realizing that one of his minions had been in pain this whole time the king grunted and winced with what could be interpreted as concern before he snapped his fingers and summoned ”HEEL!”
At his command the Rabbid supporter popped into existence next to the snapped fingers before falling the few feet to the ground, the fluffy fiend making barely a sound as he hit the deck.
”FIX HER.” Bowser commanded the Rabbid, waving a hand in Linkle's general direction. Heel, who had his back to Bowser, gave the king a thumbs up while rolling his eyes out of his sight because of how redundant the command was.
Heel then set to work, hopping up on a chair and slapping down their healing backpack before smashing the large heart labeled button on the back with a fist, causing a burst of green energy to shoot out and into Linkle. As the energy took its effect, fixing up her injuries in moments, Bowser asked the team ”ANYONE ELSE STILL HURT FROM THE QUESTS WHO HASN'T MENTIONED IT? IF YA ARE GET OVER HERE ALREADY BEFORE HEEL HAS TO RECHARGE.”
wordcount: 1,000 (+2) Bowser: Level 5 EXP: /////////////////////////////////////////////////// (43/50) Bowser Jr: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (15/40) Kamek: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (21/40) Location: Lumbridge, the Land of Adventure
”Ahhhh, that hit the spot” Bowser sighed contentedly after polishing off his last hunk of Barbun meat.
”mmm. It was good! We should eat out more.”
“Kyu kyu!”
”Compliments to the chef are definitely in order” Kamek agreed loudly enough to ensure Mina could hear him.
”Could we. could we hire her?” Jr asked after a moment of thought
Bowser took a look in his pocket and began sorting through the various rupees within, still unsure still as to their actual worth ”HMMM”
”I would suspect that Miss Mina can earn a lot more money from operating her restaurant that we can generate trapeing across this muddled up world” Kamek pointed out
”oh. Well then. Maybe we could. You know” jr said before jabbing a fist forward a few times and then touching a hand to his chest and mimicking the toss of a friend heart.
Bowser shook his head saying ”Remember what we talked about earlier.” before jerking his head in the direction of Tora, unaware that the ball of fluff was in the midst of discussing the very same idea that jr had had with some of the other members of the team, only regarding Geralt instead of Mina.
”Aw. Lame” Jr complained, though his heart wasn't really in it.
”Perhaps our luck will hold and we’ll get to keep this string of lovely meals going. For now however I suggest we get ready to go on this hunt. Best to go before twilight leaves us and night settles in for good” Kamek suggested
Bowser grunted before heaving himself to his feet and dusting off his hands ”Alright! Let’s get this place over and done with.”
”Sure, let’s go show that boss who’s boss!” Jr said as he hopped down. Mimikyu followed suit, leaping off of the table and then gently floating down to land on their trainer’s shoulder. After taking a look around Jr noticed the new items produced by the fish hunter’s sprite crushing. ”Oh hey look. New stuff on the pile.”
As the young koopa hurried over to take a look Kamek decided now was as good a time as any to make use of the sprites he had gathered from the dead zone. He moved with jr to the loot pile and then proceeded to tip out and crush the various root minion sprites he had gathered before leaving, producing:
1x Frenzy Dust: Used to find this stuff in the tallest of the old towers and the darkest alleys between. Don't know what it is, but it sure as hell makes killing Root easier. Increases the rate at which electrochemical signals fire muscles, boosting melee attack speed, movement speed, and reload speed temporarily
2x Oilskin Tonic: Healers cooked up this stuff during the Old War. Might be the only thing what kept the race from keeling over. Cures infection and increases resistance against them temporarily."
1x Hollow Cloak: "The garb of a diminutive Root. Scarcely big enough to be worn as a hood or mantle, it is resistant to water and poison but quite flammable"
2x Hatchet: A small axe meant for combat rather than utility, but serviceable for either
2x Fire Axe:Meant for use in an emergency, the axe can fell almost any single zombie in one hit, but breaks afterward
”That is a lot of axes.” Jr noted as the wizard finished, adding the items to the community pool.
”Somewhat ironic considering their tree related source.”
”Really wants us to cut some down huh?” Jr said as he picked one of the hand axes up and examined it.
”Perhaps. It will be handy incase we need to make a campfire later.” Kamek said, before turning his attention to the other items.
After eyeing them for a few moments he collected the Oilskin Tonics and the singular Antidote and store them inside his robes along with the Bloodwort potions and green herbs. Kamek was rather glad they’d he’d acquired them now that they’d watched the Dancer succumb to Galeem’s influence once more. The event concerned the mage more than he’d like to admit both because it removed their team’s main source of healing right before a critical battle and because it showed that the friend heart magic wasn't a permanent defence against their enemy's power. The first issue was forestalled as long as they had healing items, the latter was likely to trouble Kamek’s mind for some time to come even as his masters where indifferent or begrudgingly accepting of the situation respectively.
The mage had re-collected the now rather important healing items after his reunion with the royal family, quietly noting that one of the green herbs was missing at the time. Jr meanwhile, who had sneakily used the missing herb when no one was watching to fix the light wounds he’d received from being gored by the Barburn, picked up the fishing spear, testing its weight. More a Pike than a spear in the hands of the boy he still thought he could make use of it as a hunting tool if he dropped it down or stab out from his flying clown car. ”Fish are good too right?”
”Yeah that’d be good.” Bowser said as he picked up and examining the various weapons on offer in turn ”Bah, toothpicks all of these.” he muttered as he dangled the cutlass, more a large knife than a sword in his hands even at his smallest, between two fingers before setting it back down.
”Perhaps you’ll have more luck with items you crush yourself? That glove you’ve had since we met again has worked out well for you has it not?”
”hmf. Guess so.” Bowser said, before looking out the window at the setting sun ”So we ready to go yet?”
”Just about”
”Yeah I got what I need” jr said
”Then lets go hunt a Saurian!”
”Yeah!”
”Uh sire?” Kamek said before tilting his head back at their team.
”Oh. Right.” Bowser said before asking everyone ”YOU LOT COMING OR WHAT?”
wordcount: 1,524 (+3) Bowser: Level 5 EXP: /////////////////////////////////////////////////// (41/50) Bowser Jr: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (13/40) Kamek: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (19/40) Location: Lumbridge, the Land of Adventure
”Well it’s better than nothing I suppose. Lets us know what to look for. Vaguely.” Kamek replied with only a little sympathy for the Guildmarm’s apologetically vague response to being asked about the target of their F rank quest. The wizard had little energy for feeling annoyed however and so instead headed to dinner to recharge, passing by where jr was watching the loot boxes being opened in the process.
”Wow. Well now I’m glad it didn’t take my actual money” Jr said, sharing Torra’s disappointment as he initially took in the assortment of cosmetics that the boxes had divulged. ”Because if I'd spent some I would be super mad”
As it was he was only mildly annoyed, as the boy’s nose was quite sure that the veritable buffet of delights Mina would be more than making up for the poor state of her other quest reward. The second box wasn’t much better, though at least the armor in it was usable by the party rather than being for an animal they didn't even own.
The final one had the most interesting stuff, namely a little badge (a common source of power back in their world) a pair of arms with a sprite like glow and a true one size fits all stealth suit.
”Oh hay. I know that cloud guy. From that adventure with Geno where a giant sword stole my castle. What's his name again. Marshmallow? Something like that.” Bowser said as he arrived to look at the items and spotted the sticker among them. The king reached down with a claw, carefully picked up the sticker of Mallow and then applied it to his hat ”Paper me mentioned something about stickers having power.” he explained.
He then proceeded to dump the Cave Crawler Skin (A sturdy, water-resistant hide that can be prepared with salt and tanned it make high-quality material), Breakfast (That smell...that consistency...there's no mistaking that this milk's well past its expiration date. If you don't die drinking (eating?) it, you'll surely come out of the ordeal with a hardier constitution), Homeward Bone (Bonfires, resting places for lost souls, are fueled by bones of the Undead. In rare cases, the strong urge of their previous owner's to seek respite enchants their bones with a homeward instinct. Returns someone who breaks it to their last established resting place) and two wooden boards (A sturdy length of oak. The sort that might be used to blockade windows during an undead invasion) on the table with the loot box items that he apparently decided was the squads current item grab bag.
”Now. Where’s that dinner? I could eat a herd of horses.” he said as the last of the items were deposited. ”Come on Jr, you can play dress up afterwards” he told his son who had put on the steal suit to become a cyberpunk ninja turtle and was about to investigate the pair of sprite like long arms.
”Awww.” jr said before obediently popping of the suit and following after, though not before grabbing the mario spray can, quite sure he’d be able to cause a bit of mischief with it at some point.
The trio gathered together at the table after collecting their hard earned dinners. Kamek had a small helping of Tropius fruit salad and a bowl of candle gourd soup, while Bowser had a large helping of baurun spare ribs, having already acquired a taste for them in the field and jr had some taka berry jelly and a few spare ribs from his father's portion. As they were digging in Kamek decided now would be a great time for a status update on how the rest of the people on their quest where doing who were not attending the dinner.
”So I have spent a little time over with our other squad in the Dead zone, and I imagine some of you might be interested in how they are doing?” Kamek asked, mostly rhetorically, before beginning a bit of storytelling.
”First off, you’ll be pleased to hear that they are all alive, though it’s not like that area hasn’t been trying its hardest to change that. There are no lovely restaurants over there I can tell you that for sure.” Kamek said before taking a bite out of a Tropius banana and savoring the flavor. While the adventure had so far been rather draining the old Koopa was definitely enjoying the masterfully prepared food he was getting to eat during it. The catering in Bowser’s castle wasn’t exactly what he’d describe as top notch.
”When I first arrived they were being in the mist of being assailed from every side by hordes of the undead, led by these two great for armed monsters big as Master Bowser!” Kamek told the team ”Bullets and spells where flying this way and that while some of our allies went toe to to with the brutes. In the end, Donnie and Nero took one down with an impressive team attack and they ran the other over with a van. Now using the sprites of those corpse controlling monsters they turned the table on the whole area, because Blazermate gained the ability to command the hordes of undead herself.”
”That lady never stops being useful huh.” Bowser noted
”Indeed. With the dead at our robotic medic’s command we traveled in search of a man named V, a friend of Nero’s, and ended up fighting this hulking walking tree that stood taller than any of the buildings in this town.” Kamek continued
”This tree giant, or Ent as they can be known as, well it could create great shockwaves like master Bowser, span waves of little nut beasts armed to the fangs with knives, send out exploding warts on legs filled with paralyzing gas and shoot out volleys of gas bombs from its back. Quite the threat I assure you. It was a bit touch and go, the team's hammering away at this weak spot of its while it retaliated with more and more new powers till V, the very man we were looking for, arrived. He summoned a giant demon of shadow that could match the strength of the Ent and so let us turn the tables on it and break its kneecaps. In the end the tree was felled and then Blazermates minions tore it to splinter.”
”now according to that V fellow there are two more monsters that are the roots of this giant tree dungeon that's growing over the whole city, at the center of which resides the guardian they seek. They’ve got a long way to go, but from what I saw I think they’ll do just fine.” The wizard concluded his story.
”Yeah big tees are cool and all. But what we were up to was way cooler.” Jr said right as the wizard finished his ego bruised my the mere suggestion that others were having more epic adventures than he had had on their grocery collection expedition.
”So we went west to do the mining quest there were these green four legged things with nor arms that exploded right? Tora was using them to blow little mining holes but I found out that they exploded more when you hit em with electricity! So I zapped one and then got Kamek to make one super huge and used a Goomba to bait into exploding, Kaboom!” jr said as he enthusiastically told the tale via a stream of consciousness ”It blew this massive hole in the canyon and exposed tons of gems and stuff which we got and traded for bucket loads of rupees.”
”And and and we went hunting! I mean we got someone to do a lot of it for us but I also picked up a thing or two while we were at it and shot one real good with a crossbow!”
“Kyu!” interjected Mimikyu, who was sitting on the table next to jr. The small Pokemon was scooping up bits of taka berry jelly from a small plate it had been given using shadowy tendrils and taking them in under its costume, presumably to whatever it had that counted as a mouth under there.
”Oh. Yeah. and Mimikyu helped.” jr added, the small spook nodding enthusiastically in response its inclusion in Jr’s brief tale.
”One of you probably eating it right new even and I bet it’s the best tasting bit!” Jr boasted before adding ”I’m probably going to buy a bow with the mining money. Or a crossbow. Or some kind of hunty shooty thing anyway. I can probably make it better too… cool trick arrows or an autowinder or something. Then I’ll be able to hunt all the time and we won't have to worry about hiring people to get us food”
”Mmm, that’d be good!” Bowser said in between great mouthfuls of spare ribs, bringing a smile from his son’s face. ”We’d need a way to cook it too though.” he added
”Oh. yeah... well we’ll think of something!” Jr insisted.
”So, that’s been what we’ve been up too. That and plant gathering. How about yourselves.” Kamek asked after the boy was done, while also filling a gap in Jr’s retelling of their afternoon activities.
wordcount: 933 (+2) Bowser: Level 5 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////// (38/50) Bowser Jr: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (10/40) Kamek: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (16/40) Location: Lumbridge, the Land of Adventure
”Your minion has quite the lip on it. Or beak.” Kamek complained to V. He ignored his own desire to blast the feathered pest and paid more attention to what he was saying in-between the insults.
”Demons you say, bound to the life of a master hmm. Fascinating. Quite the effective leash that. That certainly solves one of the problems you always get with recruiting external help.” he said, mostly to himself as he mulled the possibilities over and was left grinning.
”Thank you, you de-evolved dinosaur, you’ve given me quite a few ideas and things to look into.” he told the rude bird.
After handing over the position of his minigun to ratchet ”You can keep it. It was doing a number on my spine anyway” and his summoned Dry Bones to Blazermate ”You’ll find them far sturdier than these meat puppets I assure you” and collecting some minion sprites, including the one he had got into melee combat, in the empty exp vile he was ready to head out.
”While I’m sure you'd love for me to stay” Kamek addressed the assembly generally ”Now that V has been found this is as far as I go here. I have a Master and free dinner to get back in the Land of adventure after all. So unless there's anything anyone needs I’ll be off”
”Is it Grass?”
”Yeah. Good guess. Your turn.”
”Ok! Hmmmm. I spy with my little eye something beginning… With… oh! oh! K! Definitely K”
”Chicken?” Bowser tried, referring to the Chocobos running around the fields close to town
”Nope”
”Car?” he asked as they got closer to their parked vehicles.
”Nope”
”hmmm” Bowser hummed thoughtful while peering off into the distance, claws idly scratching his jaw as he tried to find the elusive K word.
”Greetings sire. I see the hunt was most successful.” said the Magikoopa who the king had overlooked while playing I spy with his son.
”Gah” Bowser startled before looking down and finding his blue cloaked advisor had wandered out of the town where had been waiting for them to return. ”Oh. It’s you Kamek”
”Yup. It’s him” Jr confirmed Bowser’s guess.
”Oh. Right! Uhh anyway yeah we got plenty of meat. It's goo d stuff to. You handled everything over in the dead zone?”
”I have. They’ve got a ways to go it seems. They need to face two more minibosses before the guardian aparently, but I got them safely to V and so I took my leave in-order to return to your side. I also learned about the existence of powerful evil creatures called Demons that can be bound to the life of a person. Something to look into once I have the time and resources. I asked around before you arrived but didn't learn much other than that the adventurers who have heard of them consider them very dangerous” Kamek explained, the supposed danger of the monsters seeming of little concern to him.
”Got a scheme brewing?” Jr asked
”The start of one certainly. I’ll let you know when I have more, but for now tell me about how things have been since we split ways”
”Oh oh, I we hired this hunter lady with a bird and I hunted things with her crossbow!” Jr began to explain.
The trio continued catching up with each other’s adventures as they got on with turning in their quests, emerging from the blacksmith with pocket fulls of rupees (though not nearly as many as Tora and Poppie) and the 3 loot boxes and promises of dinner from Mina’s restaurant. Afterwards they got together with the rest of the squad at the guild hall to register their successes. Everyone looked to have gotten back in one piece and the Cowboy had even managed to acquire new un-Galeemed party member from somewhere. The King was pleased that they hadn’t gotten captured or killed when left to their own devices, which was an unfortunate habit his regular army had.
Once inside the cubes where deposited on a table in the care of jr.
”uuuuurgh.” Jr groaned after several failed attempts at bonking one of the crystalline rupees against the box and receiving no response. The cubes were spared from more violent methods of opening by the arrival of Michael who generously popped open the loot boxes for them with a few dollars from his wallet.
”Oh nice! But why does only this fake paper money work anyway?” Jr asked as he waited for the boxes to open.
Bowser and Kamek meanwhile handled the Guild business. The wizard had had time to sign himself onto the completion of their two quests but it seemed as though the original two quests per member had been put aside. Bowser was sure this was because their handling of every quest in just an afternoon had done more than enough to prove that his army was the best in the business. Then they got the lowdown on the F class quest from the Guild Master.
”GAH, BUT WE JUST CAME FROM OVER THERE.” Bowser grumbled when finding out where the beast was before adding ”BUT I GUESS WE COULD LOOK INTO THE PIG’S GREEN RAIDER PROBLEM ON THE WAY FOR MORE CASH?”
”What’s this sire?”
”Pig people. Stuck up snobs with tiny houses. Getting attacked by small green people. We could go blow up their problem as a warmup, then head for the town, get some supplies and finally go out into these steppes where they said something big was. Probably talking about the dino we’re after. Whatever its name was.”
”The Saurian.”
”Yeah that.
”Doesn’t really matter right now anyway because the new guy’s got the right idea. Foods ready and I am starving.” Bowser said, despite being one of the few people in the building who had had lunch.
”Also it being a dinosaur is only a guess.” Kamek added, before turning to the Guild Master and asking ”Now that we’re properly certified for taking on this quest, what can you tell us about this ’Mr. F’ as you called him?”
wordcount: 1696 (+3 jr) (+1 B) Bowser: Level 5 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////// (36/50) Bowser Jr: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (8/40) Location: A forest, the Land of Adventure
”DESTROY THE WORLD HUH. I’VE MET BAD GUYS WHO WERE GOING FOR THAT. YOUR ONE’S REASON IS PROBABLY SOMETHING STUPID, I KNOW THEIRS ALWAYS WERE.”
”Bit less stupid if there’s other worlds tho. Blow up one go live in another one?”
”MAKES SENSE BUT NAH. THEN THEY’D JUST TRY AND BLOW THE ALL THOSE ONES UP TOO. LIKE THAT COUNT BLEACK GUY. GIRLFRIEND GOT TURNED INTO A BUTTERFLY OR SOMETHING AND SO HE TRIED TO DESTROY ALL THE WORLDS.” Bowser said while butchering a touching tale of love lost and found. ”GOT STABBED IN THE BACK BY A CLOWN IN THE END. THAT GUY LEAST WANTED TO REMAKE ALL THE WORLDS IN HIS OWN IMAGE AFTER HE DESTROYED EM. BIT LIKE GALEEM’S DONE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT.” He would have gone on, but the lack of a response from the now rather dower party gave him little incentive to do so. The royal family where left to quietly talked among themselves for the rest of the trip until they arrived back in the forest and had to shut up to avoid a repeat of their earlier run-ins with the Baurun herd.
The cart was once again left in the temporary care of Bowser’s strikers while the party went to sneak into the woods. They ended up hiding in the bushes again until they got close enough for Poppi to safely point out the big beefy boar-rino-bull beasts to the huntress. Instead of getting to work right away however it seemed their hired help was in an educational mood and attempted to instruct Poppi on how to hunt. Bowser grumble about her not getting to work quietly enough to not spook the beast, and thus more than quietly enough to be ignored, while Jr watched with interest.
Sadly the robot’s attempt ended with Poppie failing her first try, her shot with Quinn’s crossbow thudding right into the Baurun’s protective fur rather than the indicated weak point, but neither of the women seemed particularly displeased or distraught by this outcome. Poppi handed the weapon back to the master so she could show them how it was done. With lightning fast steps, cat like reflexes, spectacular accuracy and synergistic cooperation with her avian partner the Damacian huntress made quick work of the beast while simultaneously leaving it intact after it was struck down.
”GAH HA HA. LADY YOU’RE WORTH EVERY GOLD COIN!” the king decreed as Quinn finished dispatching her first quarry. Grinning he exited their started hiding spot and bore his claws, Mecha Mit blades flaring to life and then being sunk into the dying flesh of the beast. The thermal energy blades made short work of the task, hungrily biting off only the most the most delectable raw steaks off of the beast that the carnivorous king could carve. Inevitably a few particularly tempting appetizers went chomped out during the butchery. After the beast’s life was ended and its body burst Bowser also made sure to collect its sprite, storing it neatly in the ever useful glass bottles he had “acquired” all the way back in world 1-1 for later use.
”GOOD STUFF.” Bowser declared as he gathered together their harvest for transport. ”NOW LET’S BAG US ANOTHER.”
While Quinn made Valor do most of the hunting work Bowser Jr crouched in another bush with the huntress’s crossbow in hand that he had received after showing interest in learning to hunt. He’d already practiced with the weapon, shooting off a few darts into a tree a little way away from his current hiding spot. Now, after having retrieve those bolts he stalked one of the Bauruns that had wandered away from the heard.
”Come on come on hurry up and turn around already.” the boy muttered to himself, crossbow leveled at the beast as it rooted around in the undergrowth with its back to him.
“Kyu?” intoned Jr’s Mimikyu from where it sat upon his shoulder, a little bored and not entirely sure what they were doing.
”I need to shoot it in the face not the butt.” Jr explained, fidgeting impatiently with the archaic weapon. Though it had only been minutes since he had found his target but to the boy it felt like it had been hours. ”Shoot it like how she did so we never get shown up by a buncha animals again.”
Mimikyu bobbed its false head to the side, the ball of cotton lurching unnaturally as it took this in.
”and make papa pr” he began to add, but then the beast shifted ever so slightly as it sniffed around, revealing an eye.
”Finally!” Jr yelled far to loudly as he quickly aimed and pulled the trigger. The bolt from the weapon darted forth towards the beast, but his haste and startling of the monster meant it sliced through the creatures ear instead of hitting something vital. The long black ear thumped to the ground as the beast turned to face him. Angry. vengeful.
”uh oh.” Jr said as the hunter and prey faced each other for a silent moment.
“Mimik!”
A second bolt flew forth, launched from an undersized shadowy crossbow Mimiku had created with its mimic move, that tore through the Baurun‘s other ear, the wound near perfectly mirroring the one jr had unintentionally inflicted on the first.
The brief moment of calm was broken by the Pokemon's follow up attack, and the Baurun charged, several tons of muscle fur and fury pounding through the woods on hooves like iron. The earth shook as the beast bore down on the boy.
”Minions wall formation!” Jr yelled, his army summoned forth to guard him. Koopas and Goombas (both blue and brown) came into existence only to be bowled over moments later. More a quagmire than a wall, the minions were crushed under hooves and battered aside or skewered by its tusks and horn, all dissipating almost as soon as they had emerged. They bought their prince time as he quickly raised the bow once more. Six bolts flew, one burst after the other, and both volleys thudded harmlessly into the fur protecting the beast’s face.
”Drat!” Jr cursed and then legged it, Mimikyu riding along as the pounding of hooves drew closer.
“kyu”
And closer
“Kyu!”
Right before it struck jr retracted his vulnerable parts into his spiked shell. His spines bit into the Baurun’s nose as it smashed him with its horn. Mimikyu was tossed off of its master as he was launched into the forest, shell pinging off of trees like a pinball till the flight slowed enough and Jr’s claws lashed out and struck the earth, slowing him to a halt.
The boy gripped his chest and coughed. Something inside him was damaged but not broken. Recklessly he pushed himself to his feet, unwilling to back down in the face of what would normally be such an inconsequential foe. Jr ran for his brush, left leaning against a tree, as Mimikyu wailed on the Baurun it had landed upon, long black tendrils of darkness extending from beneath its disguise, scratching ineffectual at the thick fur of the beast.
”Stop. We need it intact!” jr cried out as he ran closer, paintbrush in one hand, crossbow in the other. With a swipe the brush splatter the ground beneath the beast with colorful toxic sludge. The Baurun roared, turning its attention away from the initiating rodent on its back that had slowed it’s assault and back to the lizard, hooves and muscles moved to force it forwards but the ink made it slow to accelerate. More inks was splashed down between jr and the beast and brightly mono-colored creature formed from it, translucent bearers of more ink that looked like a cross between dumbo octopuses and jellyfish. They threw themselves at the Baurun, splashing it with ink. Even when it stomped these the beast found its legs coated by an explosion of ink that burned its stamina away despite inflicting no visible wounds.
”Mimikyu! Shoot with me again!” Jr called out as he stabbed the handle of the brush into the dirt and brought up the bow. At his command the specter leaped off of the beast to land on his shoulder. The quagmire he had trapped the beast in gave him time, and being foiled twice by haste made sure that he took it. The shots flew, striking fur coated eyebrows.
”Again!” jr command as the Baurun struggled towards them, picking up speed at last. The fourth attempt flew forth and finally the boy found his mark, cold steel penetrating into the beast’s eyes.
”Yes!” cried the boy, yet the beast kept coming, blind but born forwards by a dying fury.
He fired again with haste, hitting nothing important, then again with patience, and then the bow clicked empty as the last shot flew, the cartage of bolts expended. The final pair of shots soared forth as jr brandished his brush, standing instead of fleeing.
Iron found its home in the beast’s pig like snout, hammering up though the soft flesh and into the brain. The Baurun crashed to the ground inches from jr, dead but intact.
After a few moments jr raised his arms and cheered ”I did it!”
“Mimikyu!”
A bit of crude claw based hacking later and the prince returned to the party as Browser was cutting up the last of Quinn’s kills.
”Jr! There you are!” Bowser called over.
”Hay pappa!” Jr called back while hiding the mild amount of pain he was still in.
”Look what I got” Jr said as he came closer, presenting off the goo marred meat harvested from his first hunt to his father.
”Oh. Nice. Good job.” Bowser said with enthusiasm that sounded just a touch forced to the others as he accepted the meant and then shook it a bit to try and get the goo off.
Jr beamed with pride and then approached Quinn, handing her back her weapon and crossbow bolts ”Here. Got it on my first shot!” he lied. Behind him Bowser flicked a translucent octo-jelly that had formed on the slimed meat off into the bushes.
”So. We done here?”
wordcount: 660 (+1) Kamek: Level 4 EXP: ////////////////// ////////////////////// (1/40) Location: Charnal Lane, Dead Zone
Dry Bone Swarm: Kamek raises several dozen Dry Bones from the earth to fight for him. Dry bones are undead Koopas with limited intelligence that have the ability to toss bones at enemies and pull themselves back together if they are broken apart, making them functionally unkillable in many circumstances. They aren't able to retract into their shells, nor use equipment or power ups.
While it was difficult to really pay attention while blasting away with the minigun Kamek did his best to keep track of the team in between bouts of mowing down Ent spawn. Though battered and bruised they kept up the assault, hammering away at its wounded leg and heartwood like there was no tomorrow. They were joined by a slightly sickly looking man born by a cane that the Ent foolishly decided was a prime target for destruction. Rather than be flattened by the attempted to stomp the man instead summoned a mighty golem made from dark particles in an impressive magical display that raised the eyebrows of the old Magikoopa.
Suddenly faced with a foe of near equal size the Ent was Knocked off balanced and subjected to a barrage of attacks from the rest of the team until at long last it fell, its legs ruined beyond repair. Even in this sorry state however their foe refused meet its fate. Rather than poof into a sprite more of the paralyzing gas spilled form what remained of its body. Perhaps, Kamek thought, a final attempt to ward off its foes by making its body too dangerous to approach so that that they might now leave it alone in its helpless state rather than finish it off.
It was not to be. Blazermate’s enthralled undead, hersofar an insignificant threat to their foe that had been helpless in the face of the Ent’s shock wave generating stomps finally got their chance to shine. The swarm of undead flooded the arena, tearing through remaining root minions as they went and dog-piled the body. They rallied to the banner of the lone Jockey that had survived the devastation of all that had come with it and began to smash apart their foe despite the cloud of gas surrounding it.
Watching this Kamek was struck with inspiration and remembered a certain spell of his. The wizard tossed aside the Minigun, its purpose served, breaking the illusion magic he had been using as he revealed which of the 5 Kamek’s he actually was. As the heavy bone rattling weapon clunked down next to the dispenser Kamek brandishing his wand and let forth another spell.
”Lizard scales and Goomba snot Wake up lazy bones, lets see what you’ve got!”
He chanted. At the end of the incarnation dozens of gloved hands burst from the earth around him. They grasped the earth and heaved their skeletal bodies up onto the surface. The army of Dry Bones shook themselves free of the dirt and began to lurch their way into the fight. As the undead Koopas joined the swarm of humanoid undead in taring the tree apart, their resilient physiology and immunity to the gases making up for heir ankle biter height, Kamek left the remains of the engineering nest and went to join the rest of the team. Still a touch shaky from using the minigun so much he made use of his broom as a walking stick as he carefully navigated around the lingering clouds of rot root left by the exploding minions.
”It is indeed quite the prize you acquired there Blazermate.” he agreed with the robot as she spoke of how useful her new arm was ”I imagine you’ll be making the going quite a bit easier from now on, in this region at least.”
The power that could be gained from sprites sure was something, Kamek thought, but so too was the magic that the newcomer had used to turn the fight firmly in their favor.
”V I take it?” Kamek addressed the heavily tattooed man who had just arrived, guessing that was the one who Nero had offhandedly mention meaning to meet here at the cathedral, ”That was quite the entrance you made. Tell me, what were those creatures you commanded?”
He asked, the wizard always interested in gaining extra knowledge that he could turn into an advantage somewhere down the line.
Nothing but our part of the shopping list: Wild Wheat, Basil, bay leaves, turnips, Chochobo Meat, and we need to either catch or kill a Tropius for its sweet sweet bananas. I figure we can write in stopping a few time on the way back through the plains to gather stuff.
we got plenty of Wheat from the farm so wee good there. There's also the cave section of the list left to cover. idk if the wiggler party wants to handle that or if some of us should get together for some spelunking after the surface parts of the quest have been handled. If we regrouped first we could mix up the party compositions and send some people down into the depths and the rest to look at the pig villager's green menace?
wordcount: 636 (+1) Bowser: Level 5 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////// (35/50) Bowser Jr: Level 4 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////// (5/40) Location: Hamlet, the Land of Adventure
”PERFECT!”
Bowser grinned toothily as the woman, who introduced herself as Quinn, accepted the deal after a few moments of contemplation with zero extra incentive and a great deal of dramatic flare. In Bowser’s entirely uninformed opinion, as they were yet to check out any stores to gauge how much rupees were actually worth, a quarter of their gems would be more than worth it if she could back up her hyper competent image with actual skill.
Once she was onboard the bot and hamster introduced themselves enthusiastically to their temporary party member and the Koopa troop followed suit
”I’M KING BOWSER.”
”Bowser jr. Your birds cool!”
“Mimikyu!” added Jr’s pokemon with a tinge of jealousy, a ghostly hand lightly smacking Jr in the side of the head
With names exchanged the lady wasted no time in getting a move on, stalking her way out of the inn and heading of northwards. The Koopas followed suit, Bowser pleased that she was going to make every second of the hour or two he’d bought count. After they exited the establishment the king reabsorbed his dark power to grow back up to full cart towing size, before grasping their haul of good and heading out. Jr meanwhile remounted his car and set it to drive along the ground with the rest of the team as they headed to the woods once more.
Initially the team walked in comfortable silence. Tora seemed to disagree with that state of affairs however and so tired to engage Quinn in conversation but without much success.
After her creator having failed to start a conversation with their no nonsense mercenary hunter Poppi attempted to do so with Bowser instead. By insulting him repeatedly. The sudden assault on his credibility and status as a Villain took Bowser by surprise, jaw hanging open and eyes popping out ”GAH. WHAT. HAY!” he sputtered in shock at the sudden and unprovoked attack on the core of his very being.
”You can’t talk to my papa like that!” Jr growled, looking ready to pick a fight as he stood up in his car one claw gripping its rim while he balled the other up in a fist.
His father shook his head, both to get some sense into himself and to disapprove of Jrs actions before letting out a sigh.
”YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME NOT A “KIDS STORY” VILLAIN?” Bowser said, physically while air quoting ”IT’S BECAUSE WHILE I’M NOT THE SMARTEST TURTLE IN THE WORLD I’M STILL NOT THAT STUPID. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO SUCCEED AND THAT'S AN ARMY.”
”WITH MY ARMIES I’VE CONQUERED THE GALAXY! TWICE! I’VE ALTERED TIME ITSELF, CROSSED THE DIMENSIONS TO TEAM UP WITH MY ALTERNATE SELF. I’VE STOLEN THE GREATEST WEDDING RELATED TREASURES OF THE WORLD, BUILT A TOTALLY EVIL AMUSEMENT PARK POWERED BY KIDNAPPED FAIRIES AND WORST OF ALL USED DARK MAGIC TO MAKE DINOSAUR LAND INTO NOTHING BUT FOSSIL FUELS!” (nintendo genuinely made/paid for this song)
”BUT THE ONLY ARMY I CAN GET HERE IS MADE UP OF YOU RAGTAG BUNCH OF GOODY GOODY TWO SHOES... AND THAT COURIER GUY. SO IF I WANT TO GET ANYTHING DONE I NEED TO KEEP YOU AROUND. WHICH MEANS DEALING WITH ALL OF THIS ” Bowser vaguely indicated to Tora’s everything. ”’BIG HERO’ BALONEY”
”SERIOUSLY. IT’S LIKE. LIKE... HERDING A BUNCH OF CATS WHILE TRYING NOT TO STEP ON ANY OF THE SUPER LONG TAILS THEY KEEP WAVING AROUND.” the king complained
”So thaaaat's why we haven’t kidnapped peach yet.” Jr said ”To avoid getting dog... Uh… cat-piled by the heroes!”
”YEAH. BASICALLY. THIS AIN'T MY FIRST TIME ROUND DOING THIS KIND OF THING. WE’LL DEAL WITH THIS WANNA BE ONE OFF BIG-SHOT AND THEN IT’S BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL, DON’T YOU WORRY.” the king assured his young son.
”I don’t mind. We’re going to win in the end Mario always does right? That’ll be fun.” Jr said, having backed down from his fighting stance to listen to his father's words of wisdom/rant
”SURE. I GUESS.” Bowser replied, rather disinterested in the prospect of a clean win. Having concluded his defence of character he asked Poppi ”WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING? AND WHAT ARE YOUR ‘BADDYPONS’ LIKE ANYWAY HUH. BET THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING THAT LIVES UP TO THE STUFF I’VE PULLED OVER THE YEARS!”
wordcount: 1371 (+3) Exp potion consumed: +3 exp Kamek: Level 3 EXP: ////////////////// //////////// (30/30) Location: Charnal Lane, Dead Zone
Kamek’s found that his air-support, while effectively keeping the bombs from blowing themselves up on anyone else, didn't manage to curtail the spread of gas. The sheer volume of it released by the seemingly endless horde of Rot Warts was rapidly making the situation on the ground untenable, one false step or errant breath could lead to a lungful of instantly incapacitating gas. The unceasing steam of minions was particularly a problem because his broom mounted minigun ran out of ammo, massively curtailing his ability to simply mow down the hordes of enemies the Ent was producing. This could have spelled the end of his gun toting days, however fortunately while swooping back and forth the wizard had been paying attention to his surroundings and had noted the open drawer on the bottom of one of Blazermates machines was positively overflowing with munitions. Possibly, Kamek thought, some that could fill up his royalty granted minigun.
Kamek descended to Balzermate’s spot after she had vacated it to go help Nero. He felt relatively safe with its sentry blasting away at anything that tried to get close and so dismounted his broom. He then proceeded to unmount the minigun from the broom and let it to return to its full size so he could load it with the correctly sized ammo.
”Now lets see what kinds of goodies for me. he said to the dispenser as he approached, dragging the mingun along the ground after him. As he crouched to inspect the ammo filled drawer a beam of energy reached out to him from the machine and attached itself to him like a tether.
”oh! hmm.? Fascinating” he said as he felt the few incredibly minor scratches he had received from branches while flying through the forest fade away. Along with the healing came an infrequent clicking, emanating from the minigun. This was curious, but far more concerning was the rapid higher pitched clicking that replaced the sounds of twin minigun fire a few moments later.
He glanced at the sentry. It seemed to have also run out of ammunition like his own gun had. The horde of minions quickly took notice of this and quickly began to swarm towards it’s (and by extension his) location with what the wizard interpreted as vengeful glee. By the time Kamek had figured taken all of this into account the first Hollow was already upon him. The small round cloak covered ball of wood, teeth, spikes and knives might have only been a nuisance sized threat to many of the others but unfortunately for the Magi-Koopa he was only a head taller than the vicious wee thing.
Kamek stumbled back as it came at him, narrowly avoiding having his arm slashed right off by a hooked blade and receiving instead only a grisly looking cut which caused him to drop his broom. His method of escape lost and drifting off Kamek hurriedly backed off while the hand of his uninjured arm entered his robe and pulled out the spiked tentacle, with which he narrowly blocking the second swing of the minion.
”Ak no! Wand!” he cried out. He was quite sure he was going to die, and in a rather embarrassing manner too, when he realized that in the few moments since he had been injured the dispenser’s umbilical cord of blue energy had patched his arm right back up!
His other hand immediately went searching for his signature weapon, the mage cursing himself for not putting it back in its usual spot when he had picked up the minigun. He crudely blocked a second blow with the spike with more luck than skill, planting it's fleshy length in the way of the crude blade rather than doing anything fancy like parrying, before he found his wand.
”HeHeHe, now you’ll get it you putrid nut” Kamek cackled as he whipped out his wand, twirling it around in his hand in with a combination of showmanship like flare and necessary conjuration preparation before thrusting it towards the Hollow. Magical power flared, but instead of being blasted to smithereens the seedling gave Kamek a taste of his own medicine. Using a sickle like weapon it caught the wand and forced it upwards, causing the shot, a swirling mass of red, blue and yellow shapes, to fly harmlessly over its head. Or where its head should have been if it weren't squat as a Goomba, the wizard thought as he and the Hollow both attempted to use their other weapon to strike each other. Sword and tentacle spike clashed and left them in a stalemate.
The two strained against one another, weapon pressed against weapon, as each refused to free the others arms lest they get a swing off. This stalemate remained until the Hollow lunged forwards, teeth gnashing. The mage stumbled back once more, a fireball blasting straight up as their locked arms reached new positions as a result of the lunge, before delivered a kick to the wooden beast's temple. The beast was forced back, and the deadlock broken as weapons become unmeshed, but it resulted in Kamek falling on his back with an ”Oof”
The Hollow, still on its feet, let out a guttural wet roar, convinced its victory was assured, right before it got hit on the head by the vertically fired fireball completed its arch.
”See, you got it!” Kamek taunted the minion as it remains burned. Then he took a moment to take in the rest of his present situation. There were still an unending swarm of things emerging from the Ent after all, and some were still coming straight at him.
”Ah. Thats bad.”
It got worse. In the few moments where Kamek had wrestled with a single minion (moments which had felt far longer to him at the time) the rest of the team had been busy. They’d weathered the Ent’s barrage and where not letting up their assault, punching and shooting the heartwood with all their might while simultaneously avoiding, or ignoring in Gene’s case, its gaseous retaliation. This assault came to an end when the Ent’s weak spot suddenly snapped shut, denying them the chance to deliver additional harm. Kamek wondered why it had not done so earlier as the walking tree stumbled backwards into the front of the cathedral, damaging what had likely been a rather nice piece of architecture before the region was struck by a localized apocalypse. Despite suffering what looked to have been a deathblow the Ent suddenly surged back to life, smashing up the cathedrals front even more as it lunged forth to strike at the flying Donnie with surprising speed while also stomping the ground even harder than it had before, sending a cascade of earth in all directions.
In the mere moments he had to spare Kamek jumped behind the dispense while striking it with his wand. With a three note sound the dispenser increased in size to provide cover for the Koopa while a wave of dirt totaled the ammo-less sentry. The enlarged dispenser shrunk back down again almost immediately from taking damage, but the brief power-up had kept both it and Kamek intact.
Once the danger was passed wizard glanced round the dispenser just in time to see Ratchet launching explosives at the tree. Ge grinned. They weren't done yet!
”That all you’ve got you piece of driftwood!” he yelled before scrambling out from cover. Wand and tentacle went back into his robe while the mage went for his, fortunately intact, broom. He grasped it and then returned to the dispenser which had been filling up the minigun since he first approached it. The broom was pushed through the handle once more, but instead of shrinking it he instead used the broom to help him lift it with one hand while with the other he chugged the exp potion.
Grimacing the mage returned the awful tasting potion’s vial to a pocket before snapping his fingers. With a poof of smoke 4 other Kameks joined him, all welding their own broom assisted miniguns.
”Alright boys, make em pay!” the mage yelled before thumbing down the button on the minigun. Bullets roared out of the rotary cannon, shredding the Hollows and Rot Warts while the recoil of the full sized weapon shook Kamek to his core.
”AHahAHaHahAH!” the mage and his doubles yelled as they fired, his voice reverberating until he released the trigger.
”Ack. My bones! They’re still vibrating.” He complained before firing again, though now in short controlled bursts that where less bad for his health, and taking up double duty on the minion murdering now that the sentry was down.
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