Hexaflexagon

Brothers All - A Mandalorian Story

@theoncomingstorm
Yeah you can just edit it to say N/A for now. And now it is time for some comments, while I have a second to spare.

First and foremost the character template for this RP is designed in the way it is to avoid clutter and keep things nice and simple. My first issue is you did not follow this character template which speaks to problems that may or may not come up in the future based on following rules and such I don't know yet. I understand you were adapting another sheet which also has some problems I prefer all the characters in the RP to be fresh, but that does not excuse you from the template.

The other big problem right in the front is his armor. The Jango Fett style of armor was not really seen in Mandalorian Culture until about a millennial after the Mandolorian wars. Their armor instead looked like this.http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/File:MandalorianArmorKotORCG.jpg For those of you unfamiliar shock trooper armor is the one all the way on the left. The Jango Fett style that inspired the clones evolved from the shock trooper armor over hundreds of years later. So he really wouldn't have that type of armor yet for it would be a blatant disregard for history.

Appearance just listing all the parts of the appearance in a list doesn't work I'm sorry, it is supposed to be in a well written paragraph for a reason, so I can see how you write. Another reason why you are supposed to follow the template.

Also he can't be a merc either, Mandalorians didn't hire mercs during the wars because it was their war hiring mercs would be going against their entire culture. If you were fighting with the Mandalorians you were a Mandalorian and nothing else. It was your job, your life and your duty it was there everything.

1.5 Million Credits is another big issue here. The Mandalorians during this time as I should say the Neo-Crusader didn't have salaries or anything like that everything was basically provided for them because they were a military and funded and fueled like one. They didn't have to worry about buying things because they took what they needed.

Attributes and abilities are all wrong as well. Did you even look at the character template or my CS? It is there to follow that as an example so you do it right. You list an ability and its explanation of why they have the ability and how it useful and then go down a list in order of potency. You don't fill out bars upon which don't really tell us much about the skills or even how skillful they are based on them.

You have problems in your Equipment as well most of the weapons you listed at least the primary ones did not yet exist. Most being from the rise of the empire era, meaning most were seen in the clone wars first. I provided in the useful links a list of all the weapons that existed back then so that they would be correct and we do not have this problem. Also with your armor firstly you don't have to least all the pieces and secondly as already stated Mando armor was standardized for the most part so unless there is something special about it like how @seriousarmour is experimental suit (which can be done since they are elites and get some of the new toys from the warforge) made of more lightweight material so putting protection aside for mobility yet keeping the same standard appearance (which is very important part of the Neo-Crusader way, the appearance helps unify them) there is no need to list it.

Next... transportation... I'm just going to ignore that in its entirety because A it is not part of template and B no it is just stupid they can't have their own ships.

All the miscellaneous stuff can go under Equipment once again to keep clutter down. Also data phones don't exist anyway they have comm links built into their suits so that makes those two items redundant to even list. No need to list a jetpack because they all have jetpacks like it was listed in the CS tab if you read it.

Biography... Really that is all you are going to say? Do you see how short that is and how I would have a problem with it? Do you see how it doesn't give the character any substance and doesn't go into detail and not really relent to this story or the Mandalorian Wars or how he joined the squad or anything that I asked for in the CS. Honestly its kind of crap.

Finally personality, sure that is fine that is the only thing that is okay.

---

I'm sorry to say this but your sheet as I've kind of pointed out it is filled with holes and problems. This is an Advanced Role play and my standards are not low. What you gave me belongs more in casual or free. Maybe if you read the rules and didn't automatically post in the character tab, or showed any kind of effort at all to work it to the template provide I would go easier on you and try and help. But you didn't, so in its current form all I'm going say is either rewrite it and impress me or go it is that simple. You are more than welcome to rewrite and try again but in its current form I cannot accept it.

Till The Snow Falls - A Samurai Tale

Hey, Hex and Gowi? I sent some PMs to you about my character the other day, but still haven't gotten an answer back. Did the messages ever get through? I don't know whether the PM system is buggy.

@IncredibleBee

Yeah, I got it sorry I was really busy yesterday and didn't have a chance to get around to the site that much except in short spurts. I'll replay in a little bit I have some stuff on the real life side that I have to deal with first.

@Kal-El
Looking good so far! Oh, and sorry, I'll replay to your PM question as well in a little bit.

@Conibear
Hey look another person! I'll look over your character sheet in a little bit as well, along with everything else.

Brothers All - A Mandalorian Story

Only post here once character sheet has received GM approval

Hex

@theoncomingstorm
If you could just remove your sheet for the character tab for a moment please? Because I haven't approved anybody yet and I felt I expressed myself very clearly in the character tab. Reading is important don't you know.

@seriousarmour
Thanks for making those edits we went over. :D Everything looks fine now and you can post to the character tab at your desire.

@Sloth
True, true all the possibilities whatever floats your boat really will work. Though a Wookiee would be rather crazy awesome. XD

@Gowi
Alright take your time, no real issues here we are all busy people.

Brothers All - A Mandalorian Story

I would love to join if you would have me!

@Apollo26

At our current juncture we have but one character sheet that I have not had a chance to look over yet. Currently we have seven people plus me that we have expressing interest, a little bigger than expected but depending on CS quality you never know everybody might get accepted, I don't turn down good characters, don't you know. So I would love to accept everybody that has expressed interest but to do that everybody's CS must be smashing! So sir if you can produce a smashing CS I'll be more than happy to have which goes for everybody else don't worry about spots filling up worry about impressing me. :D

Brothers All (A Mandalorian Story)

@CoolGuy
Hello good sir/madam interest noted.

@theoncomingstorm
Hell to the yeah! Interest noted as well.

And now without further delay I present you all with an OCC http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/85488-brothers-all-a-mandalorian-story/ooc#post-2961264 Go click on it, click it I dare you.

Brothers All - A Mandalorian Story

Verd ori'shya beskar'gam

Instructions

• Post your character sheet here using the template provided below.
• Please do not post anything else here, all questions and comments should go to the OOC tab.
• Only post here once character sheet has received GM approval

Notes on Equipment

• Neo-Crusader arms and armor is pretty standardize as per the reforms pushed with the establishment of the Neo-Crusaders to make them more like an actually army then a group of raiders.
• Neo-Crusader Armor varies rather in color. In order of increasing hierarchy they go Blue: Standard Trooper, Silver: Veteran Trooper Red: Rally Master, Yellow/Gold: Field Marshall.
• Neo-Crusader Shock Troopers such as your characters are a little bit special, since they are under the direct orders of the Mandalore's second in command Cassus Fett and they happen to be doing suicidal crazy things they get the new toys from the war forges before everybody else.
• All Neo-Crusader Shock Troopers have jetpacks for mobility and when they are pushed out of moving aircraft in low orbit.
• In terms of weaponry Blaster Rifles, Pistols, Vibroblades, etc being elites you have a little bit more freedom in what toys you get.

Character Sheet Template

Name:
Age:
Gender: While those new to Mando ways may scuff at it, in their eyes anyone can be a warrior no matter gender.
Species: Discrimination based on species is not a real issue either, as long as you can fight well they could care less.
Combat Role: What is their role in the squad, marksmen, heavy weapons, new guy etc
Years in Mynock Squad:

Appearance:
Preferably a solidly written description, if you have to use a picture you may but only as supplement to the description.

Skills and Abilities:

• In order of potency from most to least

Equipment

• See notes above

History:
Once again a solidly written backstory so that I and the rest of us can know where your character is coming from and where they are going. Most Important facet would be how they came to be part of the Neo-Crusaders and more specifically part of the Mynock Squad.

Psychological Analysis:
Personality, motivation, etc. This and the history should be interlinked I.E one explains the other fairly well example grumpy mcgrumpster because parents were brutally murdered etc

Character Relations:
What they think of the rest of the members of the team, yep that is right I'm forcing you to think about other people beside yourself for a change. It may even require talking to people so spooky.

---

Hex's Sheets for PCs and NPCs

Rika

Name: Rika Lapaz
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Species: Epicanthix
Combat Role: Team Leader
Years in Mynock Squad: Eight

Appearance:
Rika looks more or less your average standard fair for one of her kind. She stands at roughly 2 meters in height and close to 190 pounds most that being hard layers of muscle from years of fighting and training. This appearance makes her stand out among the rest of the near-humans in the bunch using instead naturally taller races like the Taung as sparring partners. Her hair is in characteristic Epicanthix fashion dark brown in color kept short and uneven in places as the warrior cut it herself and well hands made for killing are sometimes not very good at hair maintenance. She sports an olive complexion that depending on the amount of sunlight received can change to a light brown in color. Her eyes are a playful shade of green, very fierce and almost inquisitive as if they are always peering through your soul. The top of her right ear is jagged and torn as if something very angry got a solid hold of it and pulled with deadly force. When she is outside her armor she dresses in plain clothes, nothing too movement restricting and nothing overtly appealing to the eye. Her skin is a patchwork of healing and healed wounds and scars, as all the little nicks and bruises add up over the years

Skills and Abilities:

• Rally Master: Rika has spent the last eight years or so commanding squadrons in the thick of battle. An iron will and determination backed with a nonsense personality. She demands respect from all those put underneath her and respect is what she gets or else terrible things tend to happen. Her ability to command and keep her troops in order under pressure is a valuable skill in the heat of battle.
• Ambidextrous: Rika was born naturally ambidextrous and because of it can use both of her hands equally well in melee giving her an advantage with the ferocity and pressure presented in her attacks.
• Dual Strike: In both ranged and melee combat Rika believes in the more is more philosophy of things. She has trained heavily in the use of duel wielding one handed weapons and the use of two handed weapons such as heavy rifles and such.
• Flyboy: Having been with the Shock Troopers for awhile at this point she has learned her way around the use of a thruster pack and is able to use it to increase her vertical range of movement to outmaneuver her opponents.

Equipment

• Mandalorian Assault Rifle: Like all Mandalorian designs the assault rifle is not subtle in the way it scatters hot death about. These rifles take the standard design and modify them to the point that they are barely recognizable to its originally bases. Using an overcharged power pack and converter to increase the maximum load and frequency dilation of each blast fired the rifle hit's harder then the standard Galactic Republic affair.
• 2x Vibroblade: Rika's back up melee weapons used over the longer Vibrosword for the less restricted movement in close quarters. These ultrasonic vibrating weapons were deadly in the hands of those that knew how to use them.
• 4x Thermal Detonators: When you need things to go boom, you always have a couple of Thermal Detonators on standby just in case.
• Rika's Mandalorian Shock Trooper Armor: Like all Mandalorian armor it was built to the user and Rika's was no different, the Armor has shown its wear and tear over the years with scorch marks and nonconformites along the plate but it is kept in generally good condition. It is red in color to detonate her status as Rally Master.

History:
Rika was born on Geonosis, her parents were captured by slavers looking to sell warriors to fight in the gladiatorial arena on the planet. Her parents were taken from Panatha as the Epicanthix's prowess as warriors was known throughout the outer rim. Little did they know that Rika's mother was pregnant at the the time. Growing up in the fighters dwellings underneath the arena was a strange one to say the least but very formative. From birth she was surrounded by warriors form all around the galaxy and form all walks of life. She watched them train when she younger and as she grew she even began to ask them to teach her, because of this she developed a strong foundation in the martial ways which would help her later in life. Though life in the arena was not all sunshine and rainbows, both her parents would perish in the fighting their and effectively make her an orphan by the age of eight, those warriors that she had been surrounded by slowly becoming in a way a sort of new adoptive family. At the age of thirteen she would enter her first gladiatorial match and by the time she was seventeen she was one of the arena's premier champions. Life was okay if a bit empty and static, she enjoyed the fighting but it wasn't fulfilling it left her desiring and wanting more. Having been stuck primarily inside one building for her entire life, she wanted to see the world.

Her chance came when a group of Mandalorians came to Geonosis. These groups came sporadically from time to time to participate in the games to test their skills and honor in combat. Rika knew some of the Mandalorian's as their were a few among the ranks of the gladiators but what she did know was that they had a habit of taking any of the gladiators that could beat any of them with them as they had proven their worth and value. It would be Rika's only chance and she knew she had to take it. At the age of eighteen she was to go up against a man twice her age and probably triple the combat experience that she had. Everyone expected a slaughter. But it was this fact of underestimation that proved to the be the Mandalorian's downfall. Filled with hubris and pride he did not take the battle against this girl seriously. As he taunted and flaunted his power he took his eyes away from the girl just long enough for her to stick a vibroblade right where it hurts. She would always remember the long period of silence that followed, before the stadium erupted in cheers once more, cheers not for anybody else but for her. Following the fight, the remaining Mandalorians convinced the head of the arena to "relieve" Rika from her contract and brought her back to Dxun where a great congregation was forming. The Neo-Crusaders were preparing for war.

Rika would spend one full year training on the Demon Moon, learning the ways of the Mandalorian warriors. She was trained from the ground up as her time on Geonosis had provided a strong base, as her drill master had put it "she had no class" she only had raw power and not the skills necessary to use this power to its full advantage. The training was long and arduous, they would run for hours upon end to the point of near death from exhaustion and then move straight into sparring first with fists and then with swords. But it trained discipline and a strict rigor as if one fellow failed you all failed with them. It got you to start treating your fellow warriors not as just soldiers but as brothers and family. Eventually she was put into her final test, she was taken from her bed in the middle of the night without warning thrown onto a transport shuttle and dropped into the middle of the Dxun forest many miles away from camp. They left her with a note with simple orders survive. And survive she did finally returning back to camp three weeks later battered and bloody, but victorious and officially now a Mandalorian warrior.

A year later at the age of nineteen the Mandalorian wars began in earnest. The fighting was harsh and brutal each day was a fight for life as the Neo-Crusaders pushed to take control over the rest of the outer rim. The Mandalore wanted a solid staging area to be able to launch from before they brought the fighting into the core worlds. Rika would prove herself over many battles as an able warrior with a strong head for logistics and getting others to follow her into the jaws of death and back. This skill did not go unoticed and at twenty two she was moved into the Shock Troopers. At the age of the twenty five after a successfully leading a squad to destroy a heavily fortified ground to space gun emplacement she was promoted to Rally Master. As Rally Master she placed in charge of a group of Shock Troopers that would become known as Mynock Squad and from there they say the rest is history.

Rika would continue to lead over eighty raids and insertions over the next eight years with Mynock Squad. While the squad itself was constantly being rearranged and moved about as some died, others were promoted or relocated as was saw fit, Rika remained the constant in the equation. She became known for her tendency to stick life and limb out for those underneath her and her stubborn personality. It has been about a decade and a half of constant warfare now and their had been ups and downs good men and women died because of her mistakes, and yet their was also glorious victories and songs of praise. Now as they began the push into the core regions. Rika can only wonder how she is going to drag them out of this one.

Psychological Analysis:
Rika is a fairly standard example of being a product of her background. She never had what people would call a normal life from day one she was raised in a place where combat was the most expressive way of feeling. To those unfamiliar with it, it may sound odd or even foreign but to her words seem almost small in comparison to the displays of emotion that combat the allows through the power of strikes, the stances and movements. She is in firm belief that you never really know somebody until you've fought them because in that moment you push aside everything else and instead all you have left is the body and the truth. Though in many ways socially she is rather lost, having never had a normal life where talking was meant for more than giving orders and combat drills. Verbally she is very blunt and to the point, as she finds little value in speaking more than is required, for why speak when you can fight. Her upbringing give her a very strong sense of understanding, warriors of all kinds fought in the gladiatorial arena and because of this she is much more open and willing to adopt new ideas and plans than some more stubborn individuals knowing the importance of fluidity.

Character Relations:
TBD

Brothers All - A Mandalorian Story

Ba'jur, Beskar'gam, Aliit, Ara'nov, Mando'a, Mand'alor

Summary:

• A science fiction story taking place in the Star Wars Universe
• The year is 3962 BBY, in the middle of the Mandolorian Wars
• Our Characters will take the role of Mandolorian Shock troopers, sent in before the main ground forces they hit hard and get hit harder.
• Follows one squad's journey through the war and the brutal fighting against the Republic.
• Characters are morally ambiguous at the best and blood crazed at the worst.
• Characters can be most sentient races, as the Mandolorians did not discriminate based upon race. Valuing on skill and merit alone.
• Despite being highly trained warriors they are not gods walking among mortals, they can get outgunned and outmatched and if you do something stupid you will die.

In Character Info:

Throughout history one group of warriors have inspired fear beyond levels most can comprehend. Empires raise and fall about them, a history spanning thousands of years and yet the sands of time have not taken them. When they come be it in small groups or large hordes those caught in their path quake in their boots. They descend down upon planets from the heavens above with the fury of krayt dragon, in the heat of the battle they become the fearless avatars of war and conquest. Entire cities and years of culture destroyed in mere hours, priceless artifacts and brilliant silks destroyed and rendered to ash by either vibroblade or blaster. Those souls left to defend these cities were cut down whether they stood and fought, or ran for their lives. They were hunted down as prey through the streets, alleys, through buildings and in the sky. The inevitable end of a prey in the hunt to die at the hands of the hunter. And when it was all over, and the city that they had laid siege to stands in ruins... they leave just as they had came. They leave behind smoldering ruins and streets still ankle high with congealing blood. These warriors bonded together by a culture forged in the flames of combat are known in their language as the Mando'ade, the children of Mandalore. To the rest of the world they are known as the Mandalorians.

The Republic is like a stuck bantha; it lays bleeding on the ground as the predators begin to swarm to harvest on its corpse. Over a hundred years of corruption, greed and insolence has left the republic weak. Barely able to stand on its two feet, to keep order in the whole galaxy was unthinkable. It was only a matter of time before someone deiced that it was time to put them out of their misery. That someone would be a Taung whose title would send memories of fear and destruction through the galaxy for years to come, they called him Mandalore the Ultimate. This new leader was not just a skilled warrior, no he was charismatic and very knowledgeable of the ways of the galaxy. Under his rule warriors of all species and all backgrounds flocked to his call and underneath him he christened a new generation of Mandalorians known as the Mandalorian Neo-Crusaders. Tired of their failures in the Great Sith War, they put aside their old nomadic raider tradition, and instead adopted a new more modern way of discipline and tactics. And little did the greater galaxy know the trouble that was ahead of them. As the Mandalorians no longer destroyed cities and planets, they conquered them and they did it with an iron fist.

Mandalore the Ultimate's prowess as a warrior was only matched by his aspirations and desires. If he was to be forever remembered by the annals of history he would have to kill the greatest foe of them all, the Galactic Republic. This desire was easily manipulated by outside forces and so a new crusade would begin, a new war was to be had and the Republic would fall. Thus began the Mandalorian Wars, a period of 16 years from 3976 BBY to 3960 BBY in which a mere two decades after the Great Sith War the galaxy was once again thrown into darkness and conflict. One side the Mandalorian's the torch bears intent to burn away the decay of the Republic and reforge the galaxy ad those that would stand against them those that desperately wanted to preserve the old ways. It will be a time that will give birth to heroes, villains and even grander stories all forged in the crucible of war.

Our story begins in the year of 3962 BBY in a period of time that would be known as the Mandalorian Triumph. The Neo-Crusader under Mandalore the Ultimate's orders easily crushed the resistance that was put up against them in the Outer Rim. Numerous planets fell to the warriors pounded into the ground until all resistance lay silent: Althir, Cathar, Vanquo, Serroco, Jebble, Taris, and more none where spared from their wrath. Following these easy victories it was deiced that it was time to strike at the heart of the Republic, if the war was to end in Mandalorian victory than the core worlds had to fall. Thus a two prong attack was organized to force their way into the Core Worlds and thus the offensive began. The Mandalorian Triumph would be the last Mandalorian push into Republic controlled space, they would reach no further. They did not know it but in a way they were composing their last great epic before their eyes. Though they did not think of this they only thought of an old saying. Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur, Today is a good day for someone else to die...

Out of Character Info:

Welcome to Brothers All, as you may have guessed this is a story about Mandolorians. This idea came into fruition rather recently as I had just done another run through KOTOR I & II and remembered how much I loved Canderous Ordo, the must bitchin Mandalorian Mercenary turned Mandalore in the galaxy. So while listening to him recite his war stories, I realized that may be a pretty cool RP and so here we are. Our characters will be shock troopers as part of the greater Neo-Crusader Force, usually the first in and last out when it came to planet side engagements. This position is one filled with great honor and yet at the same time near suicidal at best most of the time. Sent in before the main invasion force to soften up the defenses and clear away landing zones they are some of the best the Mandolorins have to offer. They are made up of warriors of different ages, species and background but they are all good at what they do.

The story itself concerns itself not just with the conflicts in a period of some of the most brutal fighting of the war, but dances about with some philosophical themes as well. The main idea that pumps through the RP though is of course this idea of Honor. Honor, be it the loss of honor, the gain of honor, the meaning of it and how it effects people. The Mandalorian way of life is built around honor, they fight to better themselves and to achieve honor and glory, warriors of all kinds flock to them why? For a chance at glory, a chance at honor. They fight the republic because they do not have honor, to them the republic is weak and old. The overarching "bubble" of honor permeates its way into our characters as well as you see fit. Yet themes of death, loss, glory, pride they all will come into play as well. But you know explosions and combat will be a big part as well.

There is a plot and a way forward that will be effected by player actions to certain key activates, activating and closing certain "branches" you may call them. Though how the story begins is already set forward. The team is getting drop in at Eres III to clear a path forward into the Core Worlds. We do not know much about the battle except that the fighting was heavy and the devastation was very high, which kind of gives us a blank check to start making our own little story. To Eres III and beyond who knows where this story is going to take us? Who knows. What I do know is that it is going to be one hell of a ride.

Useful Links:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Neo-Crusaders
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mandalorian
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mandalorian_Wars
http://www.dimfuture.net/starwars/random/generate.php It's a name generator!
http://swgames.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_KotOR_weapons
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mando%27a

Story Progression:

Will be updated as we progress to give a small bullet by bullet summary of events

Part 1: Tal'galar

- RP starts!

Till The Snow Falls - A Samurai Tale

@IncredibleBee
Dear Bee;

After looking over your CS with Gowi and examining it with the utmost care and attention to detail we have come to a conclusion. Your character in its current form just isn't going to work for the tone and themes of the story that is going to be told here. If you would like a more in depth analysis feel free to PM me and I'll try my best to help you iron out the details.

Sincerely, Hex

Brothers All (A Mandalorian Story)

You Guys!

@Zoldyck
Well sir first of all I would like to thank you for showing your interest, and secondly it seems more people have expressed interest so I hope you stick around!

@CutUp
Hey it's you! Welcome aboard good sir, and by the way I'm getting around to reading your Omega Serenade App right about now because it is now 3:00 in the morning which means it is a perfect time to get work done!

@Gowi
Hey, hey, hey this one is Advanced not Casual it is totally different. I make these ones to spread my wings and get away from the land where people write only single paragraphs about their Mary sues and confuse their and there. XD Because now I get to construct my indiscriminate slaughter in vivid detail!

And why they take up your life I don't know.... Maybe it's because they are a refreshing breath of fresh air... No that doesn't sound right, they are pretty cliche when you think about them... Maybe it is because the stories they prevent are interesting tales for the ages.... No still doesn't sound right.... I don't know cant really answer the question to be honest your going to have to answer that one by yourself.

@Sloth
Well I suppose I should thank you for your ability to keep on finding them then. there is your congratulatory toot.

Anyway now with all that done and done after counting there is four of your guys plus one of me, which makes five and five is a good number for a squad, maybe we could take on one more if somebody pops their head in. But I'll start working on the OCC then! If any of you have any questions feel free to ask.

Till The Snow Falls - A Samurai Tale

@Kal-El
Oh sure if you want to ask it in private, just PM me. :D

@Gowi
Indeed diversity is a good thing if you are all hot blooded teenagers, I think Jin is going to have to cut off his other arm to just silence the angst and nagging for a little bit. XD

@Sloth
Eh, whatever you feel like. A monk in the style of Jackie Chan in Drunken Master would be really fun or a Onna-bugeisha could work as well, you know because ladies can kick ass as well don't you know. But really I don't want to say make that or make that so just do whatever the hell you want. Don't matter because your all going to get slaughtered , have fun anyway!

@IncredibleBee
I'll get around to reading your CS in just a tad!