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Recent Statuses

3 yrs ago
my life be like OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2 likes
3 yrs ago
I am also not like other girls. I am not a girl.
4 likes
4 yrs ago
NEVER forgive. ALWAYS forget. Remain in a perpetual state of confusion and anger forever!
16 likes
4 yrs ago
Honey is the best insect vomit I’ve had so far.
2 likes
4 yrs ago
It's fucked up that there are 1000 Christmas songs but only one song about the boys being back in town.
9 likes

Bio

A letter of recommendation:





People on my junk mail list <3

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Most Recent Posts

<Snipped quote by JunkMail>

More of a "accidentally shot someone so I guess I'll say it was intentional and claim it was all a plan" type of guy is he?


Literally spot on
<Snipped quote by Surtr Inc>

psh, you try being the mastermind of a dea- oh wait you're the gm.


You'll learn quickly that he aint no mastermind.

EDIT:
bitch
I want you all to imagine waking up late at night with you asshole acting as a flashlight and share Dexter's pain.


"Mom! I think the power is out!"
The Camp @Surtr Inc



Dexter's life was... complicated at the moment.

He was going through the motions of his daily morning routine, which begun and ended with him practicing a newly discovered flashing ability. It had become somewhat of a daily ritual, since the accident, and he had really thought he was starting to get a handle on his new party trick. Today was different though. He had been training himself to trigger his flash by snapping his fingers, but he just couldn't do it this morning. After that incredibly... gruesome dream. Every time he snapped, it would fizzle, almost like he was striking a flint, and eventually it stopped doing anything at all. Once his fingers started to hurt, he decided to give it a rest and just go about getting ready for the day. He had flipped the light switch in his bathroom on, and had gotten through brushing his teeth when he decided to snap again. Dexter sighed, still nothing. He leaned against the wall, and as soon as his shoulder came in contact with the wall socket just above his kitchen sink the lights and electricity around the house went out.

Dexter furrowed his brow and fiddled with the light switch, which would turn on for a split second and then turn off again. He called out from his room to his mother, "Mom! I think the power is out!"

He thought again for a moment and realized, it must be the fuse box in the basement. He snapped his fingers in realization, and his little party trick in all of it's impossibly bright light decided it wanted to work again. So now, Dexter was currently in the bathroom. On the ground. In the dark. His hands were holding his eyes and generally, he was not having a good time. He spent a few minutes groaning on the floor, attempting to bring his vision back at least somewhat. His phone, which was on his bed, buzzed. and stumbled to his feet and out of the dark bathroom. He blinked rapidly in an attempt to bring his now fuzzy vision back into focus, and stumbled over to his phone to answer his snapchats from various people in the school sending out their daily streaks in an attempt to distract himself the small headache that was now forming as a result of his strained eyes.

The lights in the house came back on, a telltale sign that the power was back on in house. Dexter groaned and turned the re-awakened lights back off. This wasn't the first incident that had occurred in the past month. Since the tragedy that had sent the headline of TOWN REELING AFTER MASSACRE, Dexter had found strange occurrences with his person as of late. Sometimes his hair would raise randomly, he'd shock his mom accidentally when he gave her a hug even though he hadn't even TOUCHED carpet throughout the day and hadn't been to Target (seriously, their carts have so much static they could charge his phone). His phone always stayed charged, high lights would flicker when he came near an outlet and he found a very curious burn mark on his desk after resting his forearm on it while playing a particularly frustrating video game (Kirby's Epic Yarn was the Dark Souls of platformers and no one could convince him otherwise).

Oh, and when he made hand motions, or couldn't see in his room when he woke up late at night, sometimes light came out of his hands. And eyes. Sometimes other orifices too. It was extremely alarming the first time it had happened and Dexter largely wishes he could forget about the whole thing.

Dexter looked away from his phone and to his watch, because he was trying to train himself out of relying on his phone for literally everything. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to discern the small lines with his still somewhat blurry vision. It was, what 8:35ish? Most people their age wouldn't be awake yet. He had an excuse with his flight training to be an early bird. He usually finished flights early so he could do classes in the afternoon. Dexter continued his daily routine, spare of any flashes or other unidentified activity, and was ready to leave his house at 8:45. Because of the incident, he had lost his Miata. However, insurance had been kind to him, and with his clean record of no speeding and the unrelated deaths in the area- he had gotten the value equivalent to the car he had been driving. So, he and his mother replaced his vehicle with a 2015 Mazda 6. It wasn't quite as fun as his previous car, but it did the job more than well enough and it was red so at the end of the day Dexter was pretty happy.

He leaned against the wall near the doorway of his house. He and Britney had very similar class schedules and carpooled as a result to save gas. He sent her a quick text, and would wait for her to reply before taking off for class. If there even was class- apparently there was a bomb threat?

To: Brit
Carpool?
<Snipped quote by pokemad1>

You're wrong.

Dust only takes us to HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL

Now can somebody just do something cool, I don't wanna steal all da thunda.


IM NUCLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
I made a quick post yesterday but I realized it didn't move much along. I'll see about fixing that later on.

Gonna see Pacific Rim 2 later.


Tell me how it is pls
<Snipped quote by JunkMail>

HELL YEAH, WE SPORK NOW BABY!


You didn't get the reference and I hate you for it.


"You all go swimmin'."
The Camp @Surtr Inc@Atrophy





Dexter slid on the gravel of the parking lot as he rounded his car to make their escape. He threw the vehicle in reverse, just about spinning the little red Miata, and pulled it closer to the rest of the group. The car only had two seats- so the group would have to get comfortable if they had any hope of-

A thunderous crashing sound rang through the air and traveled through the ground. It made the hair on Dexter's neck raise. He turned around in his seat to look- only to see the bridge- their only means of escape off the island that the camp site was on, had collapsed. He turned to face the front again, and lowered the windows. He peered out the side of the car to Claire and the rest of the gang. Out of the corner of his eye he witnessed Penny attempt to distract the hulk. His heart swelled, but it would probably be in vain- they couldn't out run Scott without a significant lead or a car. With the bridge down, having to take a swim would slow them down too much. But- he had an idea. You all go swimmin'. If this doesnt work, tell my mamma I love her."

Dexter didn't wait for a response- he threw the car into first gear, and floored it directly at Scott, blasting his horn in an attempt to give Penny and early warning to dive out of the way. He was coming at an angle, so she should be okay, but weird shit happened sometimes. As he floored it, his mind drifted from the action at hand yet fixated at the same time. When Dexter's sister and father had died, there had not been a damn thing he could've done about it. Dexter was not an angry man, but all that anger and all that loss that he had felt and was still feeling was giving him tunnel vision on Scott. He had been completely useless. He couldn't stop his dad leaving for work that day, he couldn't save his sister when he respirator malfunctioned, but he could make a difference right now. Dexter couldn't see or feel- at least not like he normally could. It was almost like his hands were going numb. His sight was fixated on the monster- but electricity danced across his fingertips. Every engine light possible came on, and the radio began freaking out as he floored it. The digital tuner and traction control on his car disengaged suddenly- pushing him to pick up speed even faster in that short period of time. His high-beam headlights came on, far brighter than usual, even though he never turned them on. Despite all the anger he was feeling, Dexter felt good. It was like every breath he took was... electric.

Just as quickly as that euphoria came, it left. Dexter's lights shut off, the engine lights disappeared, traction control came back on, and Dexter was suddenly keenly aware that his car was moving very quickly while Scott was getting bigger and bigger. He didn't have his seatbelt on- and there were trees behind Scott. He winced and in a last ditch attempt to save himself now that he was feeling far less heroic, Dexter swung the drivers side door open and dove out of the side of the car before it hit Scott. When Dexter hit the ground, he was instantly unconscious for a few seconds. His body tumbled haphazardly, and eventually came to a rest. Dexter was still for a few impossibly long moments, but eventually came to. Dexter propped himself up on his elbows, but had difficulty standing. He was pretty scuffed up, and his hand hurt- but he was alive. He would likely be Scott's next victim if someone didn't get him on his feet.
@Atrophy

TOGETHER, DEXTER AND PENNY GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT.

WHAT A DAY. WHAT A LOVELY DAY.
I'd like to change my abstraction please
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Spoon_Man…
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