Kalleth

RPGC#14 - Reality

@Dark Wind Oh good. By the way, when you win a writing contest, how do you equip the special tags? Like Aenean Hunter etc etc?

Closed

@Kalleth
at Jordan being pervy. Didn't expect that from him.

@Kalleth
He already wrote Kanako's speech into his sand tablet thing.

@Hammerman

I know. But Jordan told Kanako to meet him in the courtyard that is now a dev project for a Wetlands Promotion Eco-Group.

I should really have specified that the downpour would be like a solid few minutes worth of what feels like super heavy rain, not a force capable of lifting you, but I like the enthusiasm so won't disagree.

@Zelosse

I take creative liberties where I can get them. Makes the story that much better. You really did make no mention of continuous rain, and there was a freaking massive spirit bomb of water. I interpreted based on available context.

"When it popped, everything within 20 feet of the fountain was now a major splashzone. Every last student below would be in the localized waterfall and summarily be soaked right through with cold water.

When the last drop fell and everything returned to normality.." This would seem to contradict the notion that it's hard rain rather than a "splashzone" type water blast.

Tell a story, five words at a time!

In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

"Sing we must not!", said Yoga, twin brother of Yoda.

Yugi and the Beastie Boys decided to play hopscotch and all died of pulmonary embolisms. But then the unthinkable happened. Half-Life 3 was released, and this of course meant that Gabe Newell became the new doctor, with complimentary companion included. As Elon Musk charged his electric nipple clamps, he fantasised about Gabe Newell in a sexy nightgown in a self driving automobile.

"Ohh Gaben" swooned Elon, with much drool as he continued eating Littlefoot's computer. Yoga & Yoda drove to South Dakota, where Boba & Mona Lisa went to a water park and swam with the pixies.

George Lucas just sat alone, getting smashed with Darth Vader. But then, suddenly, a new Pokemon was found by the Dark Side of the Force, so cute and fluffy that Leonidas had to slay 87 wolves while having unprotected sex with

You rent a shared apartment, and when you go in for the first time, the profile pic above is your new roomate

Are you Scottish? Or a Viking? I hope you're a Scottish Viking. They're good folk to have around.

Closed

@Zelosse Hi Not-My-Dad. When you say the "Ceremony" and a time skip, are you referring to the same event that Jordan is referring to, and the delivery of the speeches? Namely the one, that he and NOBODY ELSE (Cough, Kanako, COUGH) came up with?

Closed

Jordan had spotted Catherine. He'd then decided it would be a brilliant idea to walk very slowly, yet purposely, until he was at a precise angle. Throwing an eye skywards, he cackled softly. His plan was a success. Digging into his pockets, he brought out his pocket spyglass, which naturally, he always carried with him for a variety of needs. He brought the glass up to his eye, lined up his gaze, adopted a goofy grin and adjusted the focus, muttering to himself.

"Why wind users never think to wear pants is beyond m-"

A giant shadow loomed over him, throwing Jordan into high alert. He pocketed the spyglass and saw it an instant too late. His pervy pursuits had been purposely paused by that perfectly pastiched punk of a pesterer, KANO HARGOR!

"DAMN YOU KAAAAAAAAAANNNNNOOOOOOOOO-" The rest of Jordan's melodramatic scream was a mix of gargling and bubbles. He was washed this way and that, the violent currents yanking him around and pulling at his clothes. When the water levels finally returned to normal, that is to say, there wasn't any water sloshing through the square, Jordan found himself washed up and hung on one of the fountain's many spires, hanging a good ten feet in the air.

He was also, unfortunately, hanging rather awkwardly. That is to say, he was hanging by his shorts. Jordan wasn't fond of belts, and this was one instance where he deeply regretted the decision. His shorts, before he could stop them, slipped off, ripped, or otherwise gave way. It was all Jordan could do to muster the strength to lift the waterlogged soil to catch him wetly, painfully, but in one piece.

It was in this sorry, muddied, soaked state, that Jordan formally met several of his new students. The man was wearing boxer shorts that said juicy on the posterior region, and were otherwise decorated with hearts.

"Professor Manilow, at your disservice. My apologies kids, for scarring you prematurely. That was supposed to come later, but our good headmaster is always a hasty one to get to the scarring, if you catch my meaning."

And speak of the devil, Kano arrived just like that. All sarcasm and dry business talk. Two hours, and Jordan would be delivering his speech. Thankfully, his slab had to have escaped the massive torrential rainstorm, safe and high in the teachers' offices. It wouldn't have mattered, because Jordan did excellent work, but you can never be too careful with water damage.

The Headmaster took his leave, and Jordan sat up, wiping the grime from his limbs unsuccessfully. This is why I take sandbaths, Jordan thought crankily. Water is too messy. A nice clean scrub with some uniform grains, and no hassle whatsoever. Gets odours out, gets grime off (assuming you're using clean sand obviously), and it feels heavenly. I could start a spa! Then I'd make a killing! I give the BEST sandbaths! Jordan scowled, remembering the oath he'd taken. Maybe in another life I suppose.

Jordan stood up, and shook himself vigorously. Still covered in mud. Jordan growled angrily and mustered up all of his latent energy. In one virulent jerk, he shot every last earth particle into the ground at his feet. It took far too much effort. Trying to lift a pile of dry towels, versus trying to lift a pile of soaked towels, is a very profound difference. No different with Earth elementalism. It was why Jordan adored working with sand. It felt light as can be, as though he were moving his own limbs. Still, in that burst of effort, Jordan was clean, if still very sodden. He met the rest of the students' eyes and then sagged down onto the fountain. Then, he took a breath, cleared his head, and fell back into the fountain headfirst.

Jordan hated Kano. The bastard always got the last laugh.

Darkness.

@Zelosse@Stern Algorithm@KRAZY J@Old Amsterdam@Aiyanna@Regitnui@Raptra@liferusher@Pseudo Stygian (Basically everyone, in case I missed somebody.)

---

Jideh's mind melted. A girl had removed her shirt in front of him, and his gray matter was mush. Utterly useless, Jideh stared. He forgot himself, and he forgot why he'd even felt ashamed to have done... What had he done? There were other people, he heard the voices. There had been a reason why this girl he was staring at had gotten wet in the first place right? Right?

She reminded him of Calla Lilies. Strange how that specific plant came to mind, when all that Jideh could remember of it was that it was poisonous when fresh. It was as though his brain were trying to tell him something...

Before Jideh could piece any of this together, a monolithic blast of ice cold water slammed into him from above.

Needless to say, this cleared Jideh's head quite effectively. Among... other things. He ended up on the ground, looking at of all things, a teacher hanging from the fountain's spire! The teacher seemed to be slipping though, and Jideh extended his reach, but before he could find any fertile earth, he realized... There wasn't any. The teacher slipped and fell, and appeared to be wearing ridiculous underwear, but Jideh's mind was elsewhere. He felt all of the water, choking, and drowning the earth. It felt as though an entire village had been burned down, its crops razed. Such is the destructive power of water, Jideh thought grimly.

Jideh flinched as a few dozen specks of mud splashed onto his already sodden pants. He looked up and saw the teacher, Professor Manly-Load? Was that his name? Professor Manly Load looked tired, fatigued, absolutely put out. Jideh recognized that look anywhere. It was the same look he got when he fed the plants too long, and Jideh almost saw what was going to happen before it did. He rushed forward, trudging through the muck, and reached down into the fountain, a panic descending on him as he reached out and tried to grip one of the professor's arms. "Help!" He croaked, not thinking as he simply tried to pull with all his might. But the Professor, Manly-Load, was well-built with thick bunched muscles, and he was a heavy fellow. Jideh, never having been the physical type and also having a chronic habit of burning more calories than he ate on occasion, was having trouble. He desperately needed the help he was calling for.

RPGC#14 - Reality

Just submitted my story. Am I too late?

I submitted it at 20:00 EST, which I googled, and is apparently 12:00 AM Greenwich time. Am I good?

The Seven Vices of Vicaria [Casual RP] [Mature Content]

Working from mobile, so my sheet is going to take a bit of time and finesse, but just to dump some info, here's a very rough alpha draft.

Name: Aleksander IIX
Age: 30
Ethnicity: Germanic
Vices: Primary: Binging. Secondary: Drinking, Drugs, (Also a bit scrappy)
Personality: Careless, easy going, cool headed, skeptical.
History: Jaded ex-knight turned hedonistic vagabond.
Equipment: sword, warhammer, buckler, brigandine armor, bag of silver.
Appearance: handsome but tired looking face. Brown hair, blue eyes. Construction worker/dad bod style build. Think retired soldier.

@Wadesauce

I like it! Approved, on the assumption that you'll be adding more.

The Seven Vices of Vicaria [Casual RP] [Mature Content]

@rush99999 Aww. Thanks for letting us know though. Good luck with your other RPs!

@Infamous Empath Of course, and yes, you're approved. Add that sucker to the ranks! I'll make him pay for his Irish blood! And maybe somehow work in the "No True Irishman" fallacy. XD

Closed

Jideh walked in step with his friends, retreating back into himself for a spell. It had not been too bad of a day, making friends and learning about the abilities they all had- he had forgotten his luggage again. They reached a central square of sorts. A truly massive fountain dominated the space, and there was something... Funny, about the arcs and streams that the water made. Before Jideh could reflect any further on this, Zeke broke from the group and ran up to the fountain, nearly tackling some poor girl. Jideh guessed that Zeke was, as he had already demonstrated, merely looking for a good angle from which to draw with light. Jideh felt he should inform this girl that their Zeke was not in fact harassing her intentionally. Crossing the breadth of the square, Jideh was even more impressed by the fountain, seeing the long fingers of shade that curled deep underneath the fountain. This girl was older, and dressed like it. Jideh managed to maintain a respectable manner, only looking at her eyes, but even to him it felt a tad forced. Was she trying to get him to look? Not important, he needed to tell her, "Apologies, our breasts are just playin-"

Jideh turned carnation red on the spot.

@Regitnui @Old Amsterdam @liferusher

---

Jordan was taking the mother of all dumps. He was pinching a loaf, dropping a brick, "fertilizing," as the boys in Texas used to say. Those poor kids, they're lucky they aren't in he-YAAAARGHHH!

...

Twenty minutes later, Jordan had arrived at the central square. He waited by the east side, glowering at the massive monument to Kano's idiocy. It was a well-known fact that Kano was one of a precious few elementalists with Dual Mastery. This fountain, with its perfectly placed streams and shades, was essentially a powerful reminder of Kano's power, and if you looked at it from the right angle, even resembled the sickeningly unnatural form of the Headmaster's current body. There had even been times when Kano sprung out of the fountain and nobody had been the wiser. He'd scared the hell out of Jordan to no end when he did that. This "statue" of sorts was Jordan's least favourite feature on the Academy grounds. And yet, Jordan thought he could see some students playing near the fountain. Unbelievable. He'd wait for Kanako here, where he could keep an eye on the most innocuous yet simultaneously dangerous location in the entire school, even counting Jordan's shed. Unfortunately. "It's a friggin' nuke sitting in the middle of our school," Jordan muttered, shaking his head.