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@GamerXZ

You have to choose one of the three. It's in the name of the RP. You aren't allowed to make Neutral Characters.

Given the broad domains of the three factions you can fit just about any character into at least one of them.
@GamerXZ

No, you make a character for a specific faction on your own. If it isn't appropriate for that setting we may advise you on that matter, but you still make a character for faction you intend to play in.
@Lmpkio

Looks good to me, and Windel has already rubber stamped it. Move her along to the CS section.
Oh come now KoL. Tholl isn't going to kill the wolfy. Just get a fancy collar on it and take it back. Maybe Aria will make it the school mascot. Maybe Lotte will find love in all the wrong places. Who can say~?

Tholl

Hurtling through the undergrowth with a speed born of a fresh vendetta on her mind, Tholl carved a swath through the wilderness in pursuit of the cloven hoof prints. The red impression upon the ground a firm path seemingly certain to lead to a culprit, and her claws gnashed together in anticipation of the conflict. It was not with blood lust and savagery she hunted the killer, but a sense of being grossly affronted by a murder under her supervision. She'd be just as upset if a Wal-Mart opened across from her store, more so because murdering the owner of a rival franchise didn't solve anyone's problems that a lawyer couldn't and with less of a mess.

However aspirations of carving several pounds of flesh from the campus' assailant withered on the spot when she and all her extra eyes found the path before them evaporate into thin air. Rather then cloven hooves and bloody claws, she came to find a perfectly average wolf. Which in and of itself was rather suspect given Hikari academy wasn't that far removed from society to have wolves casually roaming in the back woods. Coyotes or feral dogs? Sure. But a wolf carried connotations of its own.

"Easy there." Tholl spoke to the beast in a calm and soothing fashion honed well in her scholastic pursuits of education. At a thought one hand shifted back into a more human fashion and she extended it forward, palm upwards for the beast to approach and sniff. All the while she kept the claw at her side and began to weave a collar of silk to fit around the beast. "I don't see any blood on ya' but I can't really just let a wolf wander around behind the school. Why don't you come over here and I'll take you back to the nice Head Mistress so she can read your mind and find you a good home~"

At least, Tholl hoped Aria's skills extended to beasts of all kinds. As far as she knew, this Wolf was a potential witness to the killer fleeing the scene.
@Nogg Saron

Welcome aboard, and looking at this CS, glad to have you. Looking it over I like it thematically, the backstory is solid and the powers look good to me. I only have have two things to say about it in regards to critique;

1) I don't see where the doctor is getting a Tactician skill. From his backstory I would surmise his element lays more with subterfuge, deception, and manipulation. Schemes perhaps. Though Tactics seems off to me especially when his skills seem more suited to being off the field. If you really desire a more Tactician style of character though, it would make more sense to say he spent a significant amount of time as an army surgeon so he could at least be in contact to organized military action to gleam some skill in that area. After that the Nexus would bolster the rest.

2) For the sample post, could you put spaces between the paragraphs? A few dabs of the Enter-Key makes things far more visually pleasing to read.

Other then that I like what I see. Just make sure he stays 21ft away from Lucille or she might get pissed when her plants start dying around her :3
@floodtalon

You missed a sentence.
@floodtalon

Flood, you misspelled gray in your text coloring.

And a post shouldn't be 40% someone elses dialogue. This is a decline in quality we don't like seeing.
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I was expecting that all cloaking would protect from the electro-sense unless it was specifically light-only, although demonic versions being absolute seems a little harsh to me. It also seems strange that undead would be invisible? Did you mean just incorporeal undead, or just being a skeleton? Cuz that seems strange to me.


To enforce the weakness to Demons.

While I understand the post being misleading and can agree with your criteria, do you mind terribly if I just declare this one non-canon and go with it? I find writing up posts to be rather time-consuming business, and would prefer to not have to rewrite the whole thing. I can understand adding it to the screening process, but the existing post should function for that purpose even if it doesn't necessarily make sense lore-wise.


No, make a new post. Standards have to be met.
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