shylarah

The Grammar Bunker

@NuttsnBolts Indeed! Though I sometimes fudge if I have speaker 1, speaker 2, action of speaker 2, followed by action of speaker 1 -- action-action doesn't require a line break, and then if speaker 2 talks again I've already established that the narrative indicates 2 by their action, so a line break there doesn't make sense.

However, when you use punctuation for quotes and phrases, it gets tricky (and for a few other things as well). And when I say "tricky", I mean that it's terribly confusing. I was taught that ellipses with four dots (actually an ellipsis and then a period) should be used if that's the final punctuation in a sentence. To me, that indicates that I can go ellipsis-endingpunctuation, because what if it's excited? What if...I'm trailing off...? These I tend to use more in dialogue, as I employ punctuation there to indicate manner of speaking and timing. However, it would make sense if that ending period can be some other ending marking. I've also been taught that if you are quoting a word or phrase, you may need to put punctuation outside the quotes. This is not dialogue, and the rules are a bit different. I was taught the same for parentheticals -- in fact (as above) ofttimes ending punctuation goes after the ending parenthesis. But if the comment is a query, or excited (because did you really expect me to be calm?) an exclamation point or question mark is used to show this. And then you get to the end of a sentence, and now you have a concluding punctuation mark inside the parenthesis, and I'm pretty sure you don't add concluding punctuation to the sentence itself afterwards, because the one on the inside just has to pull double duty. So what the heck do you do when you need a comma after the main sentence portion but there's a punctuation mark in the parenthetical? Do you fudge (and I hate to do it!), or do you just hope people can hear the pause without a marker?

I am very happy to see that the multiple paragraph rule is on here. I learned about that much later, and from books not school, and I happen to love it.

BY THE WAY. @lady horatio@Phoenix@Gowi! As you all seem to know about both semicolon and Oxford comma, have you heard of *drumroll* the OXFORD SEMICOLON?! ...Okay, okay, I'm not certain that's what it's called, but it'd make sense!

Pariah Online: Prologue [ closed ]

@TheMinorFall Hm, good point. At any rate, I need to drag my stick-in-the-mud self out of the house and to the store. And it's raining. I dun wanna go. ...Can you go for me? Please?

Pariah Online: Prologue [ closed ]

@TheMinorFall I'd think winter would mean more free time, not less, since people are trying to avoid the cold. *flops* All I know is I have a need to write and not enough places to do it. *rolls off to one of her solo projects*

Pariah Online: Prologue [ closed ]

@TheMinorFall Yes to your proposal! <3 *sits on* Ugh, I need to find more rps. I'm little worried because I'm in a bunch but most are dead slow...and even the fast ones are dragging. But if they pick up I'm pretty sure I'm at or past my limit...but I'm still bored becasue most are slow right /now/. *flailing*

@Gowi any interest in adding a relationships section to the sheet for notes, or nah? *is adding one to her personal reference sheet, regardless of the answer* But you lot don't see that. <.< particularly since it's 90% sentence fragments.

Pariah Online: Prologue [ closed ]

@Stern Algorithm In my opinion, the biggest difference between plate armor and scifi mech armor is aerodynamics. I mean, add magic to plate and you even have the glowy bits!

Ailanthus in Chains -> Alice in Chains *giggle* I already said I liked the chains. Might even be able to get ones with some sort of element on 'em, could be nice -- or something to work towards.

Nice to see an older lady, and one with a degree! Too often video game anime are just teens. No, no, I'm sorry, I'm not giving up my games no matter how many levels I've got irl. T.T YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

I like the idea of someone who sees themself as bland. Yay glasses~ But the question is, is she subject to blurry vision without them? ...her picture reminds me of Yomiko Readman. Don't think it's her, though. You might need to tweak the description of her armor, if you're really going with fantasy-style plate, though I think it's not absolutely necessary.

Personality seems interesting, and it will be interesting to play with someone who is likely to flare up and/or stress.

I notice that you have used Tessa to refer to Eileen as well as Ailanthus (namely in personality). Please do make sure that you use it to refer to only her in-game self, unless she actually sees that avatar and identity as truly her. I know I use "you" to mean both "you the player" and "your character", but in third person IC/reference narrative, I feel the distinction should be made.

She seems well considered and interesting, and I believe her and Elian clashing should be fun.

Elian: NO HEALZ 4 U! No seriously, I have to res one more party member because of you, that's it. No heals.

I personally feel that Paranoid Perception is a mental benchmark, as it deals with what she observes and notices, not what she is able to do actively. For Elian's Saw It Coming, there's an element of attention, but the primary one is the reaction. Again, @Gowi needs to take a look because...benchmarks. @.@ Cock Block is a hilarious name, and a clever benchmark. On the flip side, I'd say that...actually most of your mental benchmarks seem more like physical ones to me. So definitely talk this over if Gowi's not given you the go-ahead.

...Anyhow, I...honestly can't see much to be critical of beyond benchmarks, and I don't feel confident about my understanding of what Gowi's looking for there to say "do this", so I'm gonna use this new thing I learned about in a writing class last month! We start with things I know. I know she's not really well-adjusted, lacking in self-esteem, and generally a loner. I know she loves her science, and is not particularly invested in Pariah as an rp-type game, and doesn't really care who she bothers. I don't know how she ended up in her current job, how she feels about marriage and kids, and how her relationship is with her family. I would like to know more about how she learned her trade in Pariah, and what she hopes to accomplish in the game.

shylarah requested pictures

@Anime_Freak Just be careful when cooking with stove or oven, birds can be very sensitive to gasses you don't even know you're making.

Pariah Online: Prologue [ closed ]

@Stern Algorithm Let me take a gander atcher sheet, shall I? *scurries* off* When it comes to benchmarks...a bit confusing, but it seems (to me) basically things you've done a lot of, and thus can do better, and additional benefits that perhaps might not be conferred irl but that the game gives you. Correct me if I'm wrong, @Gowi?

@TheMinorFall is up to you~ And I did note that. But if you're a friend you're /probably/ closer to Emma/Elian than I suspect Crow wants to be. =P She's kinda loud. And outgoing. I can't tell how he'd react to her. ^.^

EDIT: READ THE WHOLE THING, shy. Don't stop because new line and new ping. Honestly, why can't I brain lately?

Yes, I like this. I hadn't thought of spells in that manner, but sure. She can definitely give him healing magic pointers, if you like. <3

The Rutherford Organization: A WW2-era Occult Investigations RP(NO LONGER ACCEPTING NEWCOMERS)

Honestly we /could/ skip to heading out, if nobody has specific prep to do. ^.^;;

The Rutherford Organization: A WW2-era Occult Investigations RP(NO LONGER ACCEPTING NEWCOMERS)

@Avanhelsing Something something preparation, sparring....um....>.<

shylarah requested pictures

@Anime_Freak oooh, is a birb~ Such a cute birb he is! I used to know this type, I think, but I can't remember. x.x Out of curiosity, how did Jae acquire a bird that he might not actually keep? O.o And I recommend talking to bird owners with happy featherbabies. Also a vet. And books -- the internet is an option, but it's harder to verify sources. <3