Tyler

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

We're going to be closing the RP to new applications as of now.

If you previously expressed interest in submitting a sheet, you will still be able to apply. Anyone who has an unfinished sheet submitted is also still eligible to keep working on it and continue receiving feedback. But we will be accepting no new applications from people who have not previously expressed interest.

Players still able to join are: @Vesuvius00, @World Traveler, @Conor, @Maxx, @Tearstone, @Prints Avoid, @BR8K.

The roleplay is now closed.

Applications may re-open in the future.

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

@LokiLeo789
Kane is finally accepted! Post his sheet over in the character thread. Welcome aboard!

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@Conor
Great sheet so far. We would like to see some more detail in his powers section; what is he capable of lifting and how does it effect him? We assume he generally lifts smaller things and larger feats have so far only been accomplished accidentally, but we need to see that in writing. We also need a sample post from you.

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@Vesuvius00
Just checking that you are still interested in the RP? We love your sheet but we still need you to flesh out the personal statement for us. We hope to be able to accept Erica soon!

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

@Tyleroh geez i erased it thinking i'd remember to put it in!!! ok ok how bout now(;;;;

@LetterA

You're accepted! Post your character sheet over in the characters thread. Glad to have you!

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

Oof okay sample post done (jeez sample posts are hard to write //lies down) and I added the edit to the Weaknesses thing!!! * 7 * )/

@LetterA

Everything's looking good! You missed one thing, however. I recommend re-reading the rules in the OP!

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

<Snipped quote by Tyler>

I'm cool with all your suggestions. I'm cool with the cerebral approach, but it does bring up some implications. By this logic, he should be able to make others imperceptible to people as well. For now I'm leaving that as potential of a more focused power, if that's cool. My idea is that he knows how people see the world, and he knows his own characteristics on a very deep level and so can remove himself from their view. I believe that he could learn to remove other objects with difficulty, but never quite get people. Maybe make them stand out less at best. On the other hand, I think he should have no issue (aside from the typical difficulties of learning to use your power) getting people to pay attention to someone or something else, as long as he's perceiving it the same way. Say the person ahead of him in line is gonna get the biggest cookie at the buffet table. It's harder to make the cookie invisible to the guy than to just draw his attention to a different cookie.

There's a lot of little details I'm thinking about that came out of this. Trying to draw a line between what seems like "logical" extensions of his power, and what's too much. Also, the difference between things he can't do until he has more control and things he flat out can't do.

@Prints Avoid

This is sounding fine to me so far. I'm glad you're taking the time to figure out what 'works'. Personally, I would also be fine with him making other humans imperceptible with a little training; but I will leave that decision to you if it is something you oppose. I agree that it would be easier to make something hyper-perceptible than to make it imperceptible, too. Half of the work is already done for you when you just want to make it 'more' perceptible.

I look forward to reading your application.

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

Sample post is finito. I'm kinda sick, so im gonna blame that for my messy writing. Sorry in advanced! Also, thanks for all the praise. First time writing in a month so it feels good to know I'm still doing it kinda right ;;

(also editing the power noww wwwee)

@Liriia

You've done a wonderful job, Liriia. Phoebe is gladly accepted. Please post her sheet over in the character deposit. It's a pleasure to have you aboard!

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

@World Traveler
Your sheet is really coming along and we understand it clearly now, well done on your development.

Our main point of critique is that we feel the powerset should be related exclusively to his eyes. If the dark matter collects in his eyes, we don't feel it makes sense for him to release it through other parts of his body. It should be released in Cyclops-style blasts from his eyes. We still like his power to shape the dark matter into items, but he would have to simply release an amount of darkness from his eyes and mold that as he pleases.

In terms of making people blind, we think 'infecting' someone doesn't fly. It doesn't make sense to us that he could touch someone and make them blind for a few hours. Instead, we think it should be much more temporary; he releases energy from his eyes and directs it to the eyes of his target, making them blind. It only stays there for as long as he 'holds' it there; when he stops it dissipates.

We also aren't keen on him having a seeing-eye dog on campus. We don't feel that getting rid of this element will effect his character too much; he is still able to have a cane or similar to help him navigate, and the school will have braille translations on its signs. A dog would just disrupt the dynamic we have in our opinion.

Other than these few points, we really like how Devin has shaped up and with a few final adjustments we would love to accept him.

@LokiLeo789
We love Kane as a character! We still think there is a bit of work to be done with the application, however. He is still too informal in areas (especially in the powers section), so that needs to be brought more in line with the formality - however you have done a great job with changing this elsewhere.

Unfortunately, we don't like his new power. We hate offering criticism that isn't constructive, as we know how frustrating it can be. However with this power there isn't really much advice we can give you other than to pick a different one. We don't like the idea of a character who 'knows what is coming' and it is unlikely that adjustments will change our stance. We're sorry to ask you to redraft your power a third time; rather than writing up something new, why not get in touch with one of us in PM or via Skype? That way you can pitch ideas to us before dedicating so much time on ideas that don't pass; we can see how much work you are putting in and we don't want to see any more of it wasted!

As a side note, we also preferred the old image reference for Kane's appearance. His personality is really the thing that we most love and we have said this from the beginning; and we feel the original image you used reflected this more. The grey mohawked, face-paint wearing Kane just seems like a completely different type of person to us.

Thanks for your application and good luck with making adjustments. Please feel free to get in touch about any ideas you have as we would really love to see Kane make it into the roleplay.

@LetterA
We love your sheet. The changes you've made to Jinkee's power are great and much more manageable in a roleplay situation. We would like to see the corrosive qualities of the mucus be a little less instant; by all means it should burn instantly, but to actually corrode solids like flesh or especially metal and stone away, it should be a much longer process in our opinion.

Other than this minor detail, we love the sheet and as soon as it is fixed and a sample post added, we would be glad to accept this character.

@Liriia
We love your sheet. You've really developed PK's powers to something that will be really interesting to play with, and she's just so damn cute. The only thing we would like to specify is that we feel her invisibility feature should only be usable when she (or her target) is stood still. As you are bending light around a target, we feel they would have to be stood still for you to effectively make them invisible.

Personally, I especially loved your story about the fireflies on the bayou, which was an excellent touch.

As soon as you have made this minor specification to the powers and added a sample post, let us know and we will be glad to accept you.

@He Who Walks Behind
We love your finished sheet, you've made a lot of development based on your first application. Lynn is accepted! Please fix the Indent code for the Personal Statement section, and then post her sheet in the character thread. Welcome aboard!

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@Prints Avoid
We are so sorry we overlooked your post! The OOC has been pretty busy, as you can see - so we're sorry for making you wait! We've discussed the powerset and we both love it, it would be a really interesting power to see applied to a character and so we can't wait to see the sheet, if you're still interested in applying.

One thing we both agreed on is that we would like the power to be a 'psychic'/'cerebral' type. Trying to explain what we mean as basically as possible, the power wouldn't effect him and make him imperceptible. He would use the power to effect other people's minds, causing him to be imperceptible specifically to that person. He can do this to more than one person at once, but naturally the more people he effects, the more difficult he finds it.

Weaknesses of this approach to the power would be that it has no effects on machines etc, which is a really important drawback for us. We also think that some developed psychics would be able to block out the power, or at least notice it is being used.

Please let us know what you think about our suggestions, as it is equally important for you to be happy with the power as it is for us. We are sorry we missed your first post.

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@Tearstone
There is a lot of discussion surrounding your character for what is a reasonably straightforward task of filling in a form. We get the impression that we are missing the 'bigger picture'; would you perhaps get in touch with us privately? We feel a more direct conversation about this would help us understand better and allow us to reach a conclusion. We suggest Skype.

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Skype

Shard and I are on Skype whilst ever we are on our computers, and it's a great platform not only to talk about the roleplay, but to get to know each other personally. If you wish to be a part of a Skype groupchat for the people of this RP, then add me on Skype and I will arrange it.

My Skype username is facebook:upsetboulevard.

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

Ok, I know of myself and at least one other that are interested in this. I balked at first with all the information in the first few posts. I was worried about rigidity more than anything.

I do have some questions though.

In the letter sample from the Headmaster to the character in question, it only mentioned 'gifted'. He never said mutants. If mutants and mutant types are being persecuted (and the one I have in mind was, by his own family even) ... How likely do you think it's going to be that this kid (who's got a genius level intelligence, a side effect of his powers) will divulge them to a 'Prestigious' academy? A new age of education is one thing, but with the fear and prejudice against mutant-kind in the world, I think it unlikely that this would be openly mentioned in a formal application. Something that could be subpena'd by a court, or collected as intelligence by a military force.

The original version of this character (and the current version) would worry that this wasn't a disguised 'roundup' attempt. So, according to the verbiage of the acceptance letter, what would prompt him/her to divulge that they have any powers at all?

This particular character would also wonder why he/she got the application in the first place. They don't see themselves as special, or unique (outside of their abilities which they keep hidden as much as possible). They don't see themselves as 'gifted' and would look at the application as suspect. This might well come through in the application. He might not apply certain verbiage which would render his app in a more positive light. Or he could even possibly fill it out in a sloppy or lazy way. This could be looked at as though he feels that it's not serious, not a challenge, and/or that it's fake. Or that his chances of getting in are minimal. (Considering he or she didn't complete high school, and dropped out.) And as he considers himself average (even though he's actually far from it), I'm sure this would show in his application (even if it were to be misleading, unless someone took a very close look, or perhaps used a psychic ability such as Psychometry on it)

This world view may also be a side effect of Depression. (A side thought)

And depending on which version (if they were on the run, homeless, etc) they'd wonder how they'd been found, and/or noticed.

@Tearstone

Thanks for the interest. I'm sorry if the information we put together intimidated you.

Most of your questions relate to the letter, so I will address that first. I will note, however, that all of this information is on the first page. Since PEACE came into power, it has become obvious to mutantkind that, despite doing a lot of good for mutants, the government seems reluctant to highly publicise any of their mutant affairs. Everything is done on the "down low", which is why the school has been re-opened with a name that doesn't attract too much attention. It is also for this reason that the invitation letter 'beats around the bush' and does not explicitly mention mutants or mutations.

It is not clear to any of the mutants how they are found. They are free to speculate and theorise however they please, but ultimately it does not change the fact that, regardless of how it got here, they have an offer. How are they going to respond?

The character application process is structured the way it is for very specific reasons, and one of these reasons is that we wanted all the characters to want to improve themselves. This isn't to say they can't be attending the school reluctantly or with an air of cynicism, but the idea is that at each student's core they recognise a lack of control and want to work towards fixing this. And they've actively chosen to pursue this by enrolling at the academy, however unappealing it may be.

He Who Walks Behind's submission was an exception to the rule based on his character's background, but we won't afford the same luxury to a character who doesn't fill out the form properly on the grounds that they don't want to, or they are sceptic. Put yourself in your character's shoes when filling in the application form and ask yourself one question: "Do they want to be accepted by the school?"

If the answer is yes, consider how they would 'sell themselves' in their application to better their chances of success. Note that the school isn't looking for people with perfect pasts, they are looking for real youngsters who need their help and guidance. But they're also not looking for students who are going to be deliberately destructive and who might distract others from their education. It goes without saying that, as this is an official document, it should be filled in professionally if the character expects to be accepted by the institute.

If the answer is no, it is likely they would stuff the letter into a drawer, where it would inevitably be forgotten about until used some weeks later to doodle on whilst waiting for something to download.

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Shard and I are going through the revised applications and will post feedback shortly.

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

So I know I made this big deal about my ghost-guy character, but I think I've changed my mind and I'm gonna use something else.

@Maxx

Haha, alright. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

Portwood Institute for Talented Youths (PITY)

@He Who Walks Behind and @Liriia
Your revised character sheets are looking so promising that I can physically feel my excitement for getting this roleplay underway. The cast is really shaping up to be something quite special!

I will let you make the finishing touches to your applications (Sample posts, formatting etc) and then I will re-read them tomorrow with Shard and send you your feedback. I just felt compelled to let you both know that whatever you're doing, it's working for me.