Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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Frizan Free From This Backwater Hellsite

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Well, I think all the votes and critiques that were coming have arrived, so I'm gonna lock the thread and announce the winner!

...or that's would I would say if it were not for the Guild being down for several days, so I'm extending the voting period by a week!

See you all on the tenth!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Terminal
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Terminal Rancorous Narrative Proxy

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Oh look. The Guild is working again. Fancy that.

2x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Mattchstick
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Mattchstick This little light of mine...

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@Terminal I only want to mention that, initially, it was much edgier, but I actually started to creep myself out and had to delete a chunk of it. You can only get so much out of the "edgelord" joke before it starts to just make you feel uncomfortable. It's a particularly tricky element of parody.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by BrokenPromise
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BrokenPromise With Rightious Hands

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I can see why Terminal's reviews are so celebrated now. Almost makes me want to join the next contest. But no, no. We clearly need more voters/judges/etc.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by SleepingSilence
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SleepingSilence OC, Plz No Stealz.

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@Terminal Thanks for the review, appreciated the detail.

Yeah, I was picked on that apostrophe one before. Ha ha. I think long ago, people told me I don't punctuate enough and maybe I've been overcompensating ever since. :P

Nice catch with the third correction, I wouldn't have noticed that one, but you're absolutely correct with the possible ambiguity.

However, the contradicting prepositions, I'm unsure exactly how I'd 'fix' the issue and I don't really know if I see the problems with that.

Also, the one spelling error you mentioned. Actually has to do with where we live. I'm in the U.S. (and I know a lot of people aren't because I see so many people spelling color with a 'u'.)

quickanddirtytips.com/education/gramm…

grammarly.com/blog/kneeled-vs-knelt

Glad you enjoyed it. Despite, following the rules and line of the challenge, I kind of regret not making my prompt longer. XD
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Shienvien
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Shienvien Creator and Destroyer

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@Terminal The formatting seems to have been crippled between the transition from my post in the contest entry thread and the submission list here, rather than between a text editor and RPG. (I actually wrote it here, and then pasted to local plaintext as safety measure.) It has proper chapter breaks, but paragraph breaks have lost a whitespace character each...
I agree with most of the comments - there are a couple of slightly awkward sentences that slipped my own proofreading. I did contemplate elaborating on the why from the narrative character's perspective, and actually modified a sentence to emphasize it a bit more, but I also did not want to derail the narrative or whack the reader over the head with it. Might have made it a bit too vague, though I'd reckon readers should still be able to fill in the gaps as intended; balances are tricky like that.
All in all, thanks for your feedback! *salutes*
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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PlatinumSkink

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@Terminal


Edit:
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Frizan
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Frizan Free From This Backwater Hellsite

Contest Mod Seen 1 yr ago

So ends the voting period for New Beginnings, and it's time to announce the winner!

Everyone give it up for...It'll Get Easier Over Time by @PlatinumSkink! Congratulations!

This thread will now be locked, and the winning entry and its author will be added to the Trophy Case thread for all to see!

See you all next time!
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