Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Raijinslayer
Raw
Avatar of Raijinslayer

Raijinslayer .

Member Online

@Odinblegh, biographies kill me every time. Still, I should be able to make that deadline. Jutsu list is probably going to be another killer.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

I can sort people into a team if they post semi-complete sheets (read: has most details already) that I deem good enough, but otherwise it'll be a tough sell.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Raijinslayer
Raw
Avatar of Raijinslayer

Raijinslayer .

Member Online

Ye. I'll get it done. Like, I have the idea in my head, but wording it is what kills me.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

@Raijinslayer yeah don't bother writing nice prosé for a character sheet -- it's a reference for me mostly, so just do the nice prosé in the backstory and everything else can be plain.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Shortcake
Raw
Avatar of Shortcake

Shortcake

Member Seen 3 mos ago

You know what? Yeah, you're exactly right. I don't think my lighthearted battle manga guy fits in this deep, intellectual Naruto fanfiction you guys have going either.

Guess my buddy will just have to go it alone. Sorry, man.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Syn
Raw
Avatar of Syn

Syn Lawful Neutral

Member Seen 4 hrs ago

You know what? Yeah, you're exactly right. I don't think my lighthearted battle manga guy fits in this deep, intellectual Naruto fanfiction you guys have going either.

Guess my buddy will just have to go it alone. Sorry, man.


1v1 me
Hidden 10 mos ago 10 mos ago Post by Raijinslayer
Raw
Avatar of Raijinslayer

Raijinslayer .

Member Online

@Odin


Here ya go. Hope it falls in line with everybody else stuff, and if you have any questions about the Kajiya, feel free to ask for a clarification.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

@Raijinslayer looks pretty fine to me, I'll forego a full review because I just woke up and I feel lazy + got invited to play a new game (thank @Tuujaimaa for that) so I'll pass on that for now.

The only question I have is how do the various chakra natures effect your jutsu? It's one thing to say it's weak to water which makes total sense, but if you use the jutsu, how would a doton defensive barrier fare? Things like that are much more interesting for people to know, as opposed to saying 'well just target the lava area'.

Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Tuujaimaa
Raw
Avatar of Tuujaimaa

Tuujaimaa Loyal Retainer of Lord Odin

Member Seen 4 hrs ago

get rekt raisin
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

raisinslayer
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

@Raijinslayer If you can, please join the discord. It's on the front page underneath the title banner.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

Review in red
Done!

Hope it all checks out.

Cheers!


Honestly I can't accept this sheet. You're giving me serious flashbacks to Angel Eyes and I strongly suspect (if not have it downright confirmed) that you are him.

First of all your insistance on playing with an English name is not good -- I specifically requested Japanese names, numerous times in the discord. Multiple people have asked for this, so it's not just me. I don't care that ''technically'' Benzaiten might be vaguely Japanese, having him call himself ''Ben'' is just dumb. I'm looking for some serious immersion here (yeah haha it's naruto, immersion??) and this won't do.

Secondarily, I just feel like you rushed yourself through the sheet, it's not complete (even if all the fields are filled in) and frankly does not come up to the standards of the other sheets I've received. Everything seems to be made specifically just so you can RP as a cat and while I don't really... mind, it does feel like you just didn't put in the effort that I have expected of others, who have gone above and beyond to create expansive sheets and expansive history with other characters/existing Amegakure lore. Some parts are short, lack explanation and feels pieced together from previous things or things you found that made you go 'hm I like this' -- it's just not cohesive.

I get that he's a genin and I get that there's not a lot of history you could write about his own history, but certainly his mother's death was worth something more than 1 line. Same goes for his father. We didn't even know he fought in a war (despite the last great war being 150 years ago) until the very last paragraph.

So I'm sorry, but I can't accept it -- both because I don't want to, and because the teams are pretty full as is and I need the space for characters that make more sense within the universe. It might be better to seek your RP experience elsewhere.


Hidden 10 mos ago 10 mos ago Post by Innue
Raw
Avatar of Innue

Innue Sheep God

Member Seen 20 days ago

Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago



Overall it's accepted but I need you to think very deeply on why you think the gauntlets and the weapon he has is a good addition to the character. imho it just feels tacked on and feels like you've just stacked a couple of strong things into 1 character

- koton
- jiton (which you've already removed)
- fuinjutsu (a rare thing that requires specialization most of the time)
- a gauntlet that is hyper versatile and feels more like a unique legandary artifact than something crafted by a genin (and effectively negates most of the penalties for having to get in close range to do most his jutsu)
- a weapon that does much the same
- a shit tonne of hoarded weapons

I can literally disarm him and he'd just go 'heh... nothing personnel..' and just unseal another 20 ninjato. why? what's the point?

I'm gonna need some additional clarification and edits I think


Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago


AMEGAKURE MISSION LOG










Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Syn
Raw
Avatar of Syn

Syn Lawful Neutral

Member Seen 4 hrs ago

Yeet
Hidden 10 mos ago 10 mos ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian A Simple Girl

Member Seen 3 days ago

<Snipped quote by Aeolian>


Hi Odin.

I hope I'm not stepping out of line, but I figured I should at least acknowledge this here, since I forgot to yesterday and It's still been on my mind.

I'm sorry about the type of characters I like to make, and that they share similarities to this other person.

And I understand the character I created doesn't fit the tone.

I am inexperienced, and still trying to learn here.

However, from what you have told me about this Angel person, I am neither flighty, fickle, or unreliable. No matter what though, I may never be able to convince you that I am not this other person. And that is fine.

I just hope going forward that you wont keep misperceiving me because of someone else's bad reputation.

But, if you're still okay with it, I would love to translate Erika(without the english name of course) over to this RP if a position opens up or you include more teams later.

I'm really enjoying the character and It would be disappointing to see her shelved so soon, since It doesn't seem like there is enough interest from people to see the other naruto story continued.

Well, Best Wishes.

Cheers!

1x Like Like
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Odin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Odin

Odin You Were Born a Leader, No Crown or Throne Needed

Member Seen 6 hrs ago

@Aeolian I'll contact you if I have any positions that I think your characters would fit in, but 'Erika' is a no-go simply by nature of being a Yamanaka.
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian A Simple Girl

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Odin

I understand that.

I am willing to change her clan and techniques if I may.

But also getting another chance to make a more befitting character would also be good for the experience too.

Eitherway, thanks for the consideration at least.

Cheers!
Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Kheliop
Raw
Avatar of Kheliop

Kheliop

Member Seen 4 mos ago



There you go @Odin Have a merry ole time.
↑ Top
© 2007-2017
BBCode Cheatsheet