Forgive any errors I typed this out on my phone with a headache, if there is any confusion let me know.
BayRat
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Oh No
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Boring.
Most Recent Posts
@Zelosse
So this sheet is actually solid, I don't have any problems by itself but since it seems to be paired with the other sheet here I will be considering it a paired submission, and I won't accept your sheet until the other one is in order.@TheDarkTemplar
I like the cultist prophet theme, my biggest issue with it however it is an it too direct. It shouldn't be said that the obscure one should be, well, obscure. I think I'd like to see some emphasis that the voice rarely speaks to her, the most he should have ever spoken to her was prior to her rise to power and the formation of the cult.
With that in mind, that brings me to her powers. I like her theme of espionage but I have issues here. To start with the emergency dragon is a bit too much and doesn't have sufficient limitations. Danger can be very loosely interpreted and regardless, having a titanic dragon form protect her at all is a bit too overpowered. I offer too alternatives, either limit the summon to a brief 5 second lasting manifestation that can deliver a powerful blow based on its size (which is shrink to fifty foot at most.) or if you'd like to specify any other powers with t. He can summon himself to her aid 3 times a day but his body will be semi translucent and she has no control over him.
The other alternative is perhaps replacing the obscure one with being able to summon@Zelosse's character at any time, allowing her to bring muscle when she needs it.
Her ability to summon a matter erasing hate, I'm removing completely. Her ability to implant thoughts will be needed as well. She can still communicate telepathically, but in order to use that spell for implanting thoughts the target must be at near death, as well as being both mortal and having a soul. The spell will temporarily 'restore' them. They will lose all recent memories and are given a specific task of her choosing. The spell ends once the task is completely or after 24 hours, in which case the victim immediately dies. The spell is removed at any time if he is the target of a revive spell or a healing spell that can cure fatal injuries or whatever else was the cause of death. This saves the victim from extermination and will regain all memories. She can only use this spell on up to two people at a time.
If these nerfs are too harsh, you are free to give her more abilities as well, preferably related to stealth or shadows as that seems to be her motif. Even though you have one minor weakness I won't impose anymore with the current nerfs since she's human, but if you give her more abilities I may suggest that she is cursed by the dark one, and may assign more weaknesses with that curse to help balance it.
Once all that is resolved I'll be happy to give your sheet a second review.
So this sheet is actually solid, I don't have any problems by itself but since it seems to be paired with the other sheet here I will be considering it a paired submission, and I won't accept your sheet until the other one is in order.@TheDarkTemplar
I like the cultist prophet theme, my biggest issue with it however it is an it too direct. It shouldn't be said that the obscure one should be, well, obscure. I think I'd like to see some emphasis that the voice rarely speaks to her, the most he should have ever spoken to her was prior to her rise to power and the formation of the cult.
With that in mind, that brings me to her powers. I like her theme of espionage but I have issues here. To start with the emergency dragon is a bit too much and doesn't have sufficient limitations. Danger can be very loosely interpreted and regardless, having a titanic dragon form protect her at all is a bit too overpowered. I offer too alternatives, either limit the summon to a brief 5 second lasting manifestation that can deliver a powerful blow based on its size (which is shrink to fifty foot at most.) or if you'd like to specify any other powers with t. He can summon himself to her aid 3 times a day but his body will be semi translucent and she has no control over him.
The other alternative is perhaps replacing the obscure one with being able to summon@Zelosse's character at any time, allowing her to bring muscle when she needs it.
Her ability to summon a matter erasing hate, I'm removing completely. Her ability to implant thoughts will be needed as well. She can still communicate telepathically, but in order to use that spell for implanting thoughts the target must be at near death, as well as being both mortal and having a soul. The spell will temporarily 'restore' them. They will lose all recent memories and are given a specific task of her choosing. The spell ends once the task is completely or after 24 hours, in which case the victim immediately dies. The spell is removed at any time if he is the target of a revive spell or a healing spell that can cure fatal injuries or whatever else was the cause of death. This saves the victim from extermination and will regain all memories. She can only use this spell on up to two people at a time.
If these nerfs are too harsh, you are free to give her more abilities as well, preferably related to stealth or shadows as that seems to be her motif. Even though you have one minor weakness I won't impose anymore with the current nerfs since she's human, but if you give her more abilities I may suggest that she is cursed by the dark one, and may assign more weaknesses with that curse to help balance it.
Once all that is resolved I'll be happy to give your sheet a second review.
Yeah sorry I've been really caught up with work up here,alongside a terrible connection since we're in the middle of the woods farming. Once I'm done today I'll try to give your sheets a proper review, as I've already read brought most of it and have some things I need to address.
@Pyromaniacwolf
Looks good to me, accepted.
Looks good to me, accepted.
Sorry if I'm a bit slow on updates but between writing a literary essay and work, and prepping to going to New York Thursday I'm in a bit of a hassle. Once I'm in New York though I should have time to work on this more if I have internet up there.
Edit: in the meantime, if you have any questions regarding any noteworthy lore or of the rp in general, just ping me. I am still accepting characters but we have enough to get started once I get around to making the IC post.
Edit: in the meantime, if you have any questions regarding any noteworthy lore or of the rp in general, just ping me. I am still accepting characters but we have enough to get started once I get around to making the IC post.
@Thecrash20
Everything seems to be bit in order with one exception.
His absorption seems a bit too...universal being able to break down 'all matter of life.' I think we should nerf that to a powerful bio-acid that can break down most forms of biomatter with the exception of creatures highly resistant to acids, and resilient variations of bone, chitin, and similar tough material. This probably already goes without saying but I just want to clarify that his acid won't be able to break down every imaginable lifeform; especially in a fantasy setting.
ASide from that, sheet looks good! Accepted
Everything seems to be bit in order with one exception.
His absorption seems a bit too...universal being able to break down 'all matter of life.' I think we should nerf that to a powerful bio-acid that can break down most forms of biomatter with the exception of creatures highly resistant to acids, and resilient variations of bone, chitin, and similar tough material. This probably already goes without saying but I just want to clarify that his acid won't be able to break down every imaginable lifeform; especially in a fantasy setting.
ASide from that, sheet looks good! Accepted
@Kangutso
Depends on what the golem is made of, but if stone I'd say somewhere between 8 and 20 tons depending up how wide he is.
Depends on what the golem is made of, but if stone I'd say somewhere between 8 and 20 tons depending up how wide he is.
@Sophrus
To start with the army, I'm going to reduce the number of tanks to 1,000, zeppelins to 100, and giant spiders to 50.
The bulk of the army will be fighting a large scale war with one of the imperial nations, leaving the commander with a few dozen tanks, 10 zeppelins, and a few hundred soldiers for personnel use, all located on a fortified outpost a few miles away from the Moonlake Keep.
Aside from that everything seems in order, accepted.
To start with the army, I'm going to reduce the number of tanks to 1,000, zeppelins to 100, and giant spiders to 50.
The bulk of the army will be fighting a large scale war with one of the imperial nations, leaving the commander with a few dozen tanks, 10 zeppelins, and a few hundred soldiers for personnel use, all located on a fortified outpost a few miles away from the Moonlake Keep.
Aside from that everything seems in order, accepted.
@Scarescrow
So I have a few problems with the sheet. For starters he feels much more like a npc that should be summoned rather then a Player Character itself. A 35 giant Ice man who constantly freezes everything around him isn't gonna fit well with the Keep the Knights are staying out. Furthermore, his madness makes him a difficult candidate to be hired. Lancelot does enjoy internal conflict between his forces, and ofcourse doesn't mind the thought of one knight killing another; but the risk of one knight destroying nearly his entire organization is a different story altogether.
There are grammar errors and typos here and there that make this sheet feel incomplete, such as "his madness and bloodlust can killed everything around him"
There is also the matter that Ice elementals are the last elementals. What happened to the rest? Not to mention elementals are a more generic race and saying that only the Ice elementals remain is a bit restrictive on elementals a as a whole. I certainly expect elementals to be rare, but not extinct. Regardless I don't see much explanation to the elemental race, especially when you give notes that ice elemental are the last elementals. I don't mind if characters and races are vague in that sense but this comes across as lazy.
The risk that if he dies he will instantly explode into a nuclear ice zone that can "kill any being" is not only broken but just another nail in the coffin that Lancelot wouldn't bring a knight that was a walking bomb.
Being able to raise an army of ice elementals is also a bit too much, the giant is already able to destroy cities and we have several characters with armies already. That particular ability just feels out of place.
Even if you were to fix the prior issues such as giving him a smaller form to transform into and being able to control his surrounding blizzard, I can't really see this concept fit in as it is.
I won't stop you from resubmitting an Ice elemental character or work on a new sheet altogether, maybe you can make an ice elemental work in the Knights of Evil. But for now I am going to have to not accept this submission.
So I have a few problems with the sheet. For starters he feels much more like a npc that should be summoned rather then a Player Character itself. A 35 giant Ice man who constantly freezes everything around him isn't gonna fit well with the Keep the Knights are staying out. Furthermore, his madness makes him a difficult candidate to be hired. Lancelot does enjoy internal conflict between his forces, and ofcourse doesn't mind the thought of one knight killing another; but the risk of one knight destroying nearly his entire organization is a different story altogether.
There are grammar errors and typos here and there that make this sheet feel incomplete, such as "his madness and bloodlust can killed everything around him"
There is also the matter that Ice elementals are the last elementals. What happened to the rest? Not to mention elementals are a more generic race and saying that only the Ice elementals remain is a bit restrictive on elementals a as a whole. I certainly expect elementals to be rare, but not extinct. Regardless I don't see much explanation to the elemental race, especially when you give notes that ice elemental are the last elementals. I don't mind if characters and races are vague in that sense but this comes across as lazy.
The risk that if he dies he will instantly explode into a nuclear ice zone that can "kill any being" is not only broken but just another nail in the coffin that Lancelot wouldn't bring a knight that was a walking bomb.
Being able to raise an army of ice elementals is also a bit too much, the giant is already able to destroy cities and we have several characters with armies already. That particular ability just feels out of place.
Even if you were to fix the prior issues such as giving him a smaller form to transform into and being able to control his surrounding blizzard, I can't really see this concept fit in as it is.
I won't stop you from resubmitting an Ice elemental character or work on a new sheet altogether, maybe you can make an ice elemental work in the Knights of Evil. But for now I am going to have to not accept this submission.
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