Avatar of BrokenPromise

Status

Recent Statuses

4 mos ago
Everybody wants that fire IC but nobody wants to GM it.
16 likes
12 mos ago
If you're roleplaying with your only friends, you're roleplaying with your best friends.
7 likes
2 yrs ago
I think to sell someone on an interest check, it's really important to seem enthusiastic about your own idea. That means writing more than a single sentence to attract potential players.
14 likes
3 yrs ago
The virgin "My post was so bad it killed the RP!" VS the chad "My post was so good it concluded the RP."
16 likes

Bio


W I T H R I G H T E O U S H A N D S





Did you know that Dante's inferno is called a divine comedy because things work out for the protagonist? Back in the day, the only two genres were comedy and drama. The only difference was that in a comedy, the protagonist is better off at the end, and a drama is the opposite. So that's why a story about going through hell can still be considered a comedy, even if it's not funny.

Name:
Broken Promise, BP, Boss

Age:
Old enough to know better, too young to care. (that is to say 30's)

Preferred RPs:
I Prefer to make my own, but will occasionally join something if it looks interesting. I'll join just about anything so long as it isn’t overly edgy/sweet, though it's rare for me to do. I don't do 1x1s too often either.

Preferred Roles:
I tend to play adorable characters everyone wants to befriend or proper assholes everyone wants to stay away from. I try not to play moral paragons or prime evils.

RP Conquests:
I've completed quite a few RP's off site, but most of them are on private forums or have simply been lost to the ravages of server crashes. As for stuff here, I'm sure everyone who sees me post in the off topic sections has seen me find an excuse to talk about Danganronpa: Tower of Carnage. It's a project that took over 4 years to complete and I feel pride not only for myself but all the wonderful people who helped make it enjoyable during its run. Re: Zero: The High Council Is technically my first, but it was just something I kind of took over and ended up ending the story after just six months. It finished, but eh...

Last RP I finished was Symphony of Espers which turned out pretty good.

RP's in progress:
For some reason I can't seem to stay away from Ari's magical girl RP, even if I'm not sure why I'm still in it.

As for my own projects, I'm doing Symphony on High to continue the gigachad adventures of the espers in Pax Septimus.

RP Graveyard:
I've been pretty fortunate on this forum. I think I joined one when I first came on the site that didn't really do anything, and there are a few 1x1 things that didn't go anywhere. It's disappointing when an RP ends before it can be finished, but I've come to look at them as learning experiences.

And then there's that london magical girl RP, and that dark magical girl RP. I think I'm done joining magical girl RPs for a while.

Other interests:
Videos
I watch a lot of educational videos on youtube. Usually as research for something I’m writing or purely because a topic interests me. I like channels like Tier Zoo and Daryl Talks Games, and I’ll also watch things like Critical Drinker or Literature Devil to deepen my understanding of story telling. Though I also like memes and jokes, to which I’ll find myself watching stuff like Sseth, but usually find myself surfing through meme videos. I gotta work on that.

Games
I have a rather long history of playing virtually every platformer to come into existence during the indie boom, as well as quite a few other indie games. I’ve played Meatboy, Binding of Issac, Gunvolt, Cuphead, Princess Remedy in a World of Hurt, Classic Metroid, Warcraft 3, Final Fantasy 7,8, and 14, Left 4 Dead, Shantae, Celeste, Danganronpa, God Eater, the list goes on. What I’ve played is kind of all over the place. I don’t play many games these days, I tend to pick things that look interesting and go on a decent steam sale.

Painting Minis
I do this in moderation. Otherwise, it's a pretty expensive hobby to start...

Music
I listen to everything, save most country/rap songs. I have too many favorites to name.

Personality:
Not one to take life or the internet too seriously. Is only serious about writing well and having a good time.

People to Insult:
Dalton is a Dingus.

Most Recent Posts

@Ammokkx Well said my dude.

When I said "every rule you can think of has a time and place where it works and doesn't work." I was saying that you can use "Said."You can also tell instead of show. You can even write what you don't know. If you know what you're doing. That advice was designed for new writers who commonly make those mistakes.

The problem with writing advice is that writing is a complex thing, and important advice is stripped down to a single phrase that can be easily misinterpreted without the rest of the lesson.

Even the bible's lesson to "do unto others as you would like done onto you" isn't entirely accurate. Should I hand my life's savings over to a stranger because I'd like someone to do that to me? NO! You don't do that! Instead you treat everyone around yourself with respect and the good will that you've cultivated will come back to you.

Still not sure what any of this has to do with Bill and Bob's submarine though.
Overusing descriptive speech tags is worse than just using said every time. While there are decent alternatives in the list, some of these are pretty ridiculous, like 'crabbed' and 'vociferated' and 'whickered'.


Yea, some of the options are pretty retarded. I was more vouching for "You can totally write something without saying said" than "You should get on your hands and knees and worship infographs."

...acknowledges "Said" is a fine word to effectively convey dialogue...


Anyway, writing is a very subjective thing and almost every rule you can think of has a time and place where it works and doesn't work... Just like "don't use said."


??????
@Ammokkx I actually like to skip said and just describe an action, which works for the most part.

Bill pointed at the stain on the floor. "Who did this?"

Bob looked around with a worried expression on his face. "Uh, the cat!" He stammered.

"The cat?" Bill placed his hands on his hips. "Bob, we don't own a cat!"

"It was a stray cat!" He folded his hands under his chin. "It got inside yesterday!"

"Bob!" Bill stomped hard enough to shake the cabin. "We're in a submarine!"


There are lots of options.

Anyway, writing is a very subjective thing and almost every rule you can think of has a time and place where it works and doesn't work. Just like "show, don't tell," Just like "write what you know," Just like "don't use said."
Alright, I feel like I'm going to slay a sacred cow here.

" Show, don't tell." should be changed to " Show and tell."


SDT was always suppose to be a pair of training wheels that you ditched when you learned how to write proper.

"Don't ever use 'said' when a character is speaking."

Sometimes characters just say things. Said is fine. Use it.


There are more interesting alternatives TBH.



”Then again, maybe I won’t.”

— Tonya “Mac” Murphy



How many times was she going to break continuity? How many times was she going to start a scene while taking a shower?

Mac turned off the water and put on her clothes. Waiting for her in the other room was a distrustful Lotus. The octopus woman could have run away, she could have checked up on Faith, but Lotus wasn’t the type to run when she wanted answers. She was not afraid of Mac. If anything, the monster girl expected her to be afraid of the queen of the deep.

”Mmmmmm.” Lotus mused, but said nothing. ”What happened to my adversary?”

Mac hadn’t dried off yet and she was already getting dressed. The apartment was never really designed to accommodate a guest, especially if you were going to shower. If Mac didn’t need it so badly, she probably would have waited. ”Your ‘adversary’ went to blow herself up along with you. A bit extreme given the circumstances, but it seems like everyone around here turns to murder or murder/suicide at the first sign of confrontation. Who thought a bunch of immortal beings could be more childish than their appearances?”

”Mmmmmm. How humiliating.” Lotus fret her brow. ”I almost wish you hadn't interfered. A bomb would do little to my gelatinous body.”

”My boss says otherwise.” Mac sat down at the breakfast table. She wasn't too hungry, so she was just eating some leftover salad from last night's dinner. ”If your opponent wasn't hell bent on sacrificing herself, I would have tried to save you both. Then you could have had your rematch and 'assert your dominance.'” That wasn't exactly truthful. Beacon girls as fanatical as that probably earned a decade or two of death before they rejoined society. ”But being alive just means that you get to fight harder fights, right?”

”Mmmmmm. it would be unfortunate if I never got to defeat Connie's specters.” Lotus nodded in agreement. ”Very well, I forgive you for interfering with our duel.”

”You're welcome for saving your life.”

”Mmmmmm.” Lotus brow became even more crossed. ”I will depart then. I must see Faith soon.”

”Can't let you do that, Lotus.” Mac cleaned her mouth. ”It would be a problem if you started wandering around Penrose. Besides, in a few weeks Faith is going to move north. But it's fine.” She stood up and turned towards the octopus. ”You want to make this about strength, so how about we have a duel in one of Penrose's many parks? I win, you leave, I lose, well, I guess you're free.”

”Mmmmmm, you underestimate me if you think I won't fight to the death.”

”Sure.” Mac knew Lotus's love for her friends trumped her ego, but she probably needed to get her ass kicked in order to see it for herself.






“Who loves EXPOSITION?”

— Oros


Oros turned sideways and pulled an entire classroom out from between her breasts. A projection screen, a few seats, a projector (of course), the works. “I’ve got the best hammer space in the cast. Anyway, let’s talk about Schrödinger's Cat, without getting too deep into quantum physics.” She picked up a remote in her hand. “A cat is in a box. Also in the box is a machine that has a 50% chance of releasing a poisonous gas before the box is opened. The gas is 100% lethal to the cat, so it’s pretty edgy and shit. It was originally thought that when the box is closed, the cat is in a superposition between these two possibilities. The cat is alive and dead at the same time, and in opening the box we force reality to collapse on a single possibility. Schrödinger created this thought experiment to show how absurd quantum mechanics were. Then he got dunked on. ” Oros clicked the remote, and the first slide was displayed on the screen.



“When we open the box, we aren’t causing anything to collapse. The two possibilities split off from one another, which create two whole dimensions. One where the cat is alive, and another where it's shit outa luck. That also means that while you may only see one of these realities, there’s another you in a different dimension seeing the other one. And that goes for every choice you can possibly make.” Another click, and the screen changed again.



“These are called parallel dimensions. They’re like our world, but different things happened in them. There are also ‘alternate’ dimensions where all the really weird shit happens. Those don’t look anything like parallel worlds though.”

Aria's head bobbed side to side. "That's nice, but why did you tell me all of this?"

“I was originally going to tell Su from a parallel dimension about it, but then I realized that would cause problems and bring up a lot of questions I didn't feel like answering.” She gestured around herself. “So now we're here.”

"Oh okay." Aria nodded, looking a bit concerned. "Did you want to buy anything?"

“Yes.”

"What would you li-"

“But I have no money.” Oros loaded up everything into her hammer space and walked out of the shop.






Cradle.netUpdate # 537
Trix N Traps

Top Manager
Last seen 2 hrs ago
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
I got back from the rave. THAT WAS NOT MY IDEA OF A FUN TIME!

Veronica usually has me wait a bit before declassifying information, so today I’m going to talk to you as a magical girl going to see her fans at the rave instead of a Cradle Agent.

It was a DEATH TRAP!

The rave was filled up with smoke and explosions, I escaped to the park, only to stumble upon the mint MURDERING Cindy Ford, and then when we returned to the rave to deal with a MONSTER QUEEN, the Ascendancy tried to ROUND US UP AND EXECUTE US AFTERWARDS!

Don’t believe your sweet Trixy could have such a bad date? You don’t have to! Unlike my duel with the Contender, my phone didn’t break this time! So expect to see the footage of that uploaded real soon.

I gotta warn you though, it’s quite violent! Not for the faint of heart!

EDIT: Alright, so the smoke means the first part of the rave video is pretty much audio only. But the rest should be good!

EDIT2: So the katamari ball technique I used might have obstructed the video a bit. A lot a bit actually.

EDIT3: So it turns out my phone doesn’t do well in low light areas like an underground rave with no power.

You know what? I’ll just upload a picture of the murderer’s face from the video. If anyone knows who this guy is, let us know. I’m pretty sure he’s Mint.

www.Magipix.com/Trixy/butt_head_who_ate_Cindy
Trix N Traps

Top Manager
Last seen 2 hrs ago
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
Has anyone seen Betty? I’m kind of worried, it looks like she’s been offline for 10 hours. Did she get sick?
Medi Girl

Agent
Online
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
Didn’t someone tell you?
Blair

Agent
Online
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
This probably isn’t the place to say this, but we lost one in the field today.
Trix N Traps

Top Manager
Last seen 2 hrs ago
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
Is this a joke?
Medi Girl

Agent
Online
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
Now Trixy’s offline. I’ll see if I can find her.
BrokenPromise

Visitor
Online
BillyKillsMikaBillyKillsMika
Links have been handed out.

Let's make this excellent.
Give up.

Honorable mention: In order to write well, you need to know a lot of words. Focus on having a big vocabulary and everything else will work itself out from there.
@FamishedPants@Mateotis@Majoras End



I won't lie, I've been kind of hesitant to focus on this because of, well...

*Points in every direction*

But I drafted up the trial, and I gotta say, I think it's going to be pretty cool! I'm going to let it sit and look over it again when my focus returns, but everyone should be getting collab links shortly.

I guess we're going to do the doc/pad shuffle. just make sure to sound off in the OOC here so that we don't have a case of two people responding to the same thing. Otherwise it should be fiiiiiiine.

I hate giving myself deadlines, mostly because it forces me to do things. But barring emergencies, everyone should have a link within 36 hours.

@Majoras End Depending on how this interrogation collab goes, Might be hitting Eliza up for Veronica stuff.

Once I get some other stuff done, I'll 100% hit you up for some other things.

I have some questions about the payment system. Posting here so that I can gather my thoughts and they don't become buried under player conjecture or memes.

...Afterwards, the GMs will determine whether or not they’ve progressed their Patron’s three overarching goals. If they have, they will receive additional coinage reflecting that...

...Each of these goals must be pursued separately. If, for example, the mission objective is to recruit a new magical girl, you’ll receive only the ‘mission objective’ reward if you do not then recruit another girl outside the parameters of the mission. Otherwise, however, it is definitely possible to obtain all the goals of your Patron and receive a significant payout at the end of events...


So these goals can only be proc'd once each? Say a mint character recruits two characters to mint, they would only get the reward once? And can these only be completed during events? When do they "refresh?"

...Leaders of player organizations can set the overarching goals of their own organization, under the caveat that they cannot pay themselves. Magical girls beholden to a singular patron, whether it be Horror, Deity, Lesser Force, or Puchuu, can set their Patron’s overarching goals...


I think Vocab summed this up pretty nicely with this comic.



I had a laundry list of goals set up for everyone in the last Cradle meeting, and they were all rendered irrelevant or couldn't be completed due to NPCs needing to survive or die for the sake of the plot. I don't think every patron will have this problem, but when they have motives that change moment to moment, It feels like it might be easier to leave this partially in the care of the GMs. It's fine to not tick off each of your goals every time, but I feel like saddling players with an entire list of stuff they can't do sucks the fun out of a reward system like this.

I don't mind having a get together with the GMs to discuss stuff. I'm just not sure how much you want to involve me in things.

...If you happen to be beholden to multiple Patrons or Organizations, you only receive the Payment/Empty Pockets modifiers for one set of goals, which should be clarified in your sheet, and must choose which set of goals you’ll want to receive rewards from at the start of an event...


So the modifiers apply a permanent buff to one set of goals, and characters can only complete one set of goals at a time? If the goal is to get organisations to team up more, wouldn't it make more sense to allow a player to earn from both goal lists? You could impose a cap after completing so many goals, but I don't know why any patron would want their girl to work for an organisation instead of themselves. It could also create some interesting moments mid-event where a girl has to make a choice between pleasing their patron instead of their organizer.




And with that out of the way, here's what I'm thinking my patrons goals might look like.

Boteg
Drive Off Hostile Magical Entity:
Boteg does not like magical entities lingering near his home. If the Golden Trove is under attack, he will pay to have a threat removed.

Exact Vengeance:
The GMs and I are gunna need to talk about this one. Because the only time Laat did anything was with Penny. Boteg might need to get a new rival or some other hobby. Maybe stepping on the mint? Regardless, setting back the plans of his rival will please the gold dragon. This is typically done by driving off their girls or causing their schemes to fail. Alternatively we could turn this into "Promote the golden trove" or something like that.

Acquire New Guest:
The Golden Trove is a fine place to live, but it is difficult to find guests with Penrose in dire straights. Not only is money required to keep the lights on, but Boteg enjoys hoarding wealth. Boteg will reward girls who help grow his wealth.


Cradle (This here is gunna get reworked a bit.)
Harass Mint (Beacon?):
Killing or driving off hostile operatives ensures operations can run smoothly.

Complete Primary Objective:
Exactly what it sounds like.

Slay/Detain Bounty:
Veronica has a laundry list of high profile targets that she needs brought down. Justine, Sonia, Mariette, the Dijinn sisters, Al, (Alicia?), and Eden are all in her sights. Taking them out (Or bringing them to her side in some cases) will greatly forward her plans.


Aighorost
Banish Interloper:
Sacrificing or Banishing those who would interrupt its plans for creation will be dealt with.

Speed up Birth:
Aighorost's main goal is to be born sooner and sooner. Even if it just shaves a decade or so off of its 10,000 year wait, they will reward their girls for this service.

Acquire Sacrifice:
They don't need to be virgins, but they do need to be magical girls. Sacrifices are how Aighorost can enact its strongest miracles. In order for a sacrifice to be acquired, one of Aighorost's worshipers needs to conduct a ritual on an unconscious or restrained magical girl. The ritual sends them to "the veil" where they are held until they are needed. Alternatively, a void walker can just carry a magical girl to the veil themselves if they are able to complete the jump between dimensions. The sacrifice needs to be alive.

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