Lawrence Ellison I want to go out on a totally platonic coffee date with him some time.
Real shame that USARILN East doesn’t have a Starbucks nearby, but, well, whatever, Doc’s emotion-aura-thingy is good enough to replicate that sensation of calm. Doc’s got too much of a stiff face most of the time, and I can’t say that I like how he keeps people at an arm’s length…but, hey, he’s earnest and super duper chill. A fun guy to hang out with. Shoot the breeze and all that. Dunno why others have so much of an issue with his power anyways. It’s not like regulars aren’t also capable of manipulating emotions.
Should probably kill him quickly, before he can project his own sadness or despair or whatever else on me. A bullet to the skull will keep things from being too personal.
Lilianna Brandt I want to hug her bones out.
Or spend hours with her trying to comb out her hair. So small and cute and adorable! Like, damn, it’s weird, considering how we’re basically the same age, but holy shit, something about her just triggers my paternal protective instincts so much! Of course, being a growing girl, Lily has her episodes, but when she’s in a good mood, I count on her first to keep me company during sleepless nights. Always a riot, trying to keep up with her mood swings, really. And there’s no one better if you want to learn how to handle young girls PMSing, seeing how PMSing is her natural state.
Heard she got her head cracked open before, but it’d be a shame to ruin a pretty face like that. Behead and preserve, perhaps? Gotta be careful with the hair though.
Emma Halwell I want to become besties with her.
Talking about cute people, gossiping while getting burgers and shakes, all those nice, chill normal things. Em’s got a great smile. Just like mine. And that gets me to thinking whether or not that smile is genuine, faked, or meaningless. She’s a plainly popular individual, smart, good-looking, socially adept, and all that jazz, but hey, so am I. So what’s different from me and her? How do I take the good things she has and make them mine? Because she’s so…good! And I like that! And I can’t say any-fucking-thing else, because that’s literally where all her efforts are expended!
As far as her tulpas go, my method of approach would be to catch them all, really. No point in beating her into a mass of bruises until I see every one of them, you know? Get the full Tulpamancy experience.
Grant Rotem I want to see him act differently.
Grant’s pretty dislikeable, what with his sullen attitude and his complete lack of zestiness. Well, no, there are things that are ‘zesty’ about him. Such as his body odour after being too lazy to wash his own clothes and take his own showers. Dude needs to fix his posture, look forwards, taking his hands out of his pockets, and put on a face other than ‘mind-numbing apathy’. Seriously, step it up, man. Right now, you just look like a boy, and that’s not cool after you get out of elementary school. And geez, I can understand his whole ‘parental issues’ thing, but cleaning up your room once in a while IS a good thing, kid. God knows how he’s not a marshmallow yet.
Fun power though. Maybe it would be a kindness to chop off all his limbs, so he can fully engage in laziness. Naw. Lobotomy would be better, so he’d either be taken care of for the rest of his life, or be too braindead to care when he’s left to rot.
Christopher Francis I want to write up a play with him.
Chris is totally thorny and ice-cold and all that, but, like, holy shit, his middle name is Drake and he turns into a fucking dragon! And he acts like a goddamn middle schooler with his whole ‘curse’ shenanigan! It would totally be a shame if I didn’t dramatize his archetype and then make him play as it. A veritable bucket full of laughs, really. Don’t even need to script his zingy one-liners for him, cause he spits out enough of those during everyday life. I should get him those thug life shades on his birthday, so he can put them on whenever he roasts someone. Hahaha. Roast? Get it? Because he can breathe fire OR verbally diss them? No? Ok.
Most efficient method would be to kill him before he transforms. But the function of a spear is to pierce, and Saint George was pretty badass...so…maybe a gritty remake of that story…
Sander Lorraine I want to get him into basketball.
Not that I play or anything, but with limbs like that and super-poker-face-eyes, Sandy would probably be great at one role or another. They could call him Slim Sandy, just like Slim Shady except not as shady or rap-y. Styles on other players at the pace of a snail or whatever. Honestly though? Dude would probably be hella more badass if he pumped some iron, stood up, and always positioned his face so his eyes pointed downwards when looking at people. Maybe gel his hair back as well. Then he’d become a straight up mega-badass and we could walk down USARILN East like gangstas. For now though, Sandy’s just Sandy, a kid who’s constantly holding back. Makes sense, considering the whole Aberration thing…but he should still let it go some time.
Seeing how he loves his blood so much, wouldn’t it be HILARIOUS if I pumped him so full of blood he popped? Like some stupid Mortal Kombat Fatality.
Callan Webb I want to spend all afternoon gaming with her, cause she’ll destroy my ass in basketball.
Well, at least until I get better at those fancy streetball moves I see on Youtube. Then her ass is mine. For real though, Callan’s fun to play around with. We’re purple eye siblings, after all, and her turquoise hair is like, super crazy! Her heroic ideals are even crazier, and whenever I see someone like that, I just want to cheer them along, you know? Be the sidekick that keeps their superhero master on the right track. Don’t have that strong of a goal in life as she does, and sometimes, it’s radiantly fabulous watching her be her. People like her should just stay focused and push past the doubts formed by society, ascending into whatever beautiful monstrosity they become. That being said, Michael Jordan may be good, but Linsanity was a magical moment. Got that whole underdog story going on as well.
Super tempting to slice her into ribbons during a sword fight, but she’d pulverize me in close range or she’d pulverize me with her shadow monster thing, so I can’t do that yet. Maybe I should do that villainous thing of holding her family hostage and promising their safety in exchange for her head. Say something like “It had to be this way.”
Kusari Bloodworth I want to get her to talk to me more.
Because god DAMN, it hurts like a motherfucker when she directs her acid towards me, but at the same time, it’s so truthful that it resonates quite well. Gives me lots of ideas on self-improvement. Also gives me opportunities to trade barbs with her. And hey, a distorted truth is the hallmark of comedy, isn’t it? If Kusari stopped being so emo all the time, I’d imagine that she’d be a pretty good comedian. Maybe she should drink some milk first though. Improve her figure and all that. …Hopefully it doesn’t just make her even more of a string bean though. That doll-like look only really works if you’re small in stature. Only dolls that are six feet tall are fuckdolls.
With her near-immortality but physical vulnerability, it really shouldn’t be too hard to just stick her in a barrel, fill it with concrete, and then toss her into the ocean. But then again, with a power like that, who knows how that works.
Padma Majumbar I want to catch up to her.
Padma’s regime is every bit as crazy as mine, but, for the time being, she’s doing better than me, because she’s also doing it while taking care of her hair and makeup. So I’ll catch up, and force her to do the chasing next time…but she probably doesn’t think of it as a competition anyways. She has…what’s that term? Duty? A sense of responsibility? A higher calling? She carries herself with her eyes on the future, perhaps, or without looking at all but still being sure that she’s walking on the right path. That’s admirable. That’s great. And having a fully-packed schedule that just involves Padma putting me into the wringer? That’s one day applied usefully. So much to learn, so much to steal from her, after all.
Isn’t it funny, how a black woman has the ability to disappear in the darkness? It isn’t? Ok. Nevertheless, the only proper way to kill her is through hand-to-hand combat after flashlighting her out of the shadows. Anything else is a disgrace to the effort she put into forging her body…but then again, I’m not that honorable to begin with.
Then again, turns out she died to squirrels. So maybe she's really just trash at actual combat.
Marcus Howell I want to hear his story.
Because those scars have meaning. Those dog tags have meaning. And the mask he puts on is probably the weakest mask I’ve seen here so far, so, naturally, I’ll get the easy stuff out of the way first. Makes me think, really, if he’s acting like this because he wants to be a clown, or because he wants to signal to others that he ACTUALLY wants help. Well, at least he can take jokes, make jokes, and makes attempts to inject happiness into the atmosphere when everyone else is sulking or whatever. If every other person with a tragic past stopped clinging to their history and screaming ‘my darkness is greater than your darkness’ that would probably be a good thing. Then again…Marcus doesn’t seem to have gotten over it either. So I guess I’ll give him a helping hand.
You’d think that time reversal was strong…and it totally is, if it actually affected other people. With what he has now right now though? MEH. Can’t save him from a deathblow. And dodging into the past is like asking to be read like a book. Though at least his magic makes sense in a different sense, if that makes any sense at all.
Zoe Fletcher I want her to have my back in a tavern brawl.
Cause she’s a great person in those scenarios. Loyal, protective, and arrogant, she’s like, the perfect Lancer to the Hero of the story. Like a firecracker, perhaps. A firecracker mixed with a mother bear. Explosive but keeps her loved ones safe…but on the other hand, she doesn’t really seem to have that? Yeah, that’s what’s weird about her. The Zoe Paradox, and all. Protecting people but not letting them in. Strange, really. And awfully sensitive about that topic as well. Nose still aches from the phantom pain of her fist driving into it...but I’ll get used to her movements eventually and beat her down twice as hard as she did to me! If she doesn’t want me as a close friend or a confidant, I have no problems being her fisticuffs rival!
But her power’s stupid dangerous and mega effective in close range. So when it comes down to that, I’ll just put a bullet through her chest and eat popcorn while watching her bleed out.
Hazel Baker I want to break her collar and open her eyes.
I don’t care what sort of power she has, what sort of stigma compels her, what sort of world she’s running away from, because I dislike her running away. I’d rather her be lucid and complete batshit crazy than whatever shit she’s in right now. I don’t even care if this is what she personally wants. She can’t make progress this way. She can’t CHANGE this way. Like she is now, Hazel is nothing. And if that’s what she wants to be, a flesh-puppet with no rhyme or reason, then once she breaks down upon being introduced to the real world once more, then…
…I will take responsibility and rightfully end her with the greatest Overclock I can muster. Fuck, that lifeless gaze is probably the thing I dislike the most in USARILN.
Siena Santana I want to have her as a study buddy.
Her hunger and her curiosity spurs my own on, and I can always count on her for free meals, even if those meals were free to begin with, USARILN being USARILN and all. Her ability to feel for fictional characters is sort of impressive as well. A heart big enough to ‘love’ or ‘hate’ or ‘cry over’ a character? Maybe it’s just a womanly thing, but it’s certainly a rather attractive thing. Something worth taking, definitely. Her off-kilter nature is less attractive and not worth taking…but recently, it’s become a bit of a habit of mine to record the stories of her past life and figure out fact from fiction. Like a real life mystery!
A flamethrower would suck, wouldn’t it? Yeah, it totally would. Heh. Bookworm killed by bookburner.
Angelique Lachance I want to see her in a dress.
Angel’s got that whole femme fatale thing going on, after all, and apparently, her death metal is so metal that it killed the people who were in the front seats of her last concert, so hey, that contrast would be pretty good. And it’s not like she’d look BAD in it. Those child-birthing hips and that buxom bust would be further enhanced in super-hardcore Victorian dress, right? And something could definitely be done with those jet-black locks of hers. She’s totally still fine as she is though. Girls with sharp claws are always nice to hang around, and, considering her nature, I’m perfectly fine with tolerating her episodes. After all, her voice is to die for, so who wouldn’t mind her over for karaoke night? …remind me to purchase a karaoke box next time I get half a grand for free.
Also, remind me to get some garrote wire. It’d be a fun ol’ time, strangling Angel and seeing if her last whispers can still pop my eardrums.
Allison Revel I want Allison’s agape, not her eros.
Sounds like an uncommon enough thing from a girl rumoured to be a perpetual bitch in the heat, after all. Of course, non-fuck-orientated Allison is nice as well. Call me a masochist, but I don’t really mind being seen as her platonic boy-toy or whatever. After all, if that’s how she displays friendliness, well, considering her stigma, that emotional manipulative attitude is totally fair. As I stated previously, Lawrence’s abilities are nothing special. Allison, with a bit of effort, can do the same, without having to feel the same emotion she’s projecting. That being said…outside of that playfulness, she is sorta boring, isn’t she?
Letting a champion of eros burn and waste away in the flames of passion is rather poetic, isn’t it? Which is why immolation is how she should go, drifting away to inseminate the entire planet…shit, that sounded stupid.
Savannah Churchill I want to pet her on the head…but she’ll probably explode my hand, so I’ll hold off on that.
Seriously though, Savannah’s got all the looks, but the fact that she’s a massive ball of white-hot anger sorta diminishes all her child-like adorability. Which is a shame, honestly. A face like that must have a great smile. So that’ll be the current goal, I suppose. Greet her every day, let her incoherent screams wash over me, and hope that she’s not actually homicidal at the moment. Seriously a high difficulty individual, but at least, verbally, Savannah’s harmless compared to Kusari. A cub to a lion, you know? …heheheh.
Explosions on contact just means that I treat her as a less skilled Zoe. Go boom-boom-boom with dual pistols and put more holes in her than she has curses.
Christmas Halvost I want to force him to consume a REAL Christmas Day feast.
Because Christ dude, you need to EAT something. Sure, maybe he’s not THAT skinny, but ugh, there’s just something about him that makes me want to fatten him up and then make him BURN those calories to get a glorious beach bod. Oh, wait, I know what it is now. It’s like he’s Grant, but instead of lazy, he’s incredibly shy, and I simply want him to get over it. Tried to get social with him by playing Mario Kart or whatever, but he gives up way too easily. And then goes back to playing those…what are they, digital picture books? Chris needs to get some guts. Some competitive spirit. Something other than rocking back and forth in a corner. Because that’s sad to do, and sad to watch.
He’s not even worth mentioning like this. His kung fu is meaningless if he doesn’t have the state of mind ready for such confrontations.
Alexis Hunter I want her to be right.
It would be wonderful if she was. The dreams and ideals she hold are resplendent and radiant, something that I think I would enjoy being a part of. And her determination is a beautiful thing as well, the fact that she refuses to allow others to define her based off her shadow magic shenanigans. She’s just…someone that’s too precious and pure for this world, huh? There’s nothing I can dislike about her. Her naivety is a weakness, but I like it. Her beliefs may chain her down, but I like it. Between like and dislike, it will probably always be like, and between useful or useless, it’ll never matter when it comes to her. I guess, simply put, I like Alexis.
And if the dreamer needs to wake up, I shall deliver it as gracefully and painlessly as possible, in the form of an instantly-effective poison injected through a hypodermic needle. I would like to fight her strongest shadow before that though. See how great the guardian of her dreams truly is.
But now, I guess that won't happen.
Aaron Erikson I want to find his secret collection of poems, read them, and then be able to embarrass him for all of eternity.
Aaron’s a real treat to hang out with, basically, as long as I don’t expect playing badminton or anything with him. He could do something about chilling out when it comes to edgelords though. They’re funny in their own way, after all, and it’s probably just a phase. No need to worry about it when you could be having fun, after all. The amount of passion and love he expends for those close to him is truly respectable as well. Almost worth emulating, if not for the fact that it’s sorta suicidal a whole bunch of the time? Jumping into the jaws of death to drag out your mother is nice, I suppose, but…that takes a whole other mindset. Don’t know if I’d have such a mindset, to be honest.
It takes him five minutes to summon his soldiers. FIVE MINUTES. He’s basically a sitting duck when it comes to ambushes…but as someone with a technology based power as well, I would want to prove to him the superiority of Overclock vs Clockwork Genesis, so…
Ernest Mars I want to get him mad.
Troll the troll and all that. Or maybe bully the bully? Kill the kill? Eh, that was a strange tangent, when all I wanted to say was that I want to see that jovial attitude change. Anyways, Ernest is a classic. The snake that stabs you in the back. The self-serving individual in a broken world. Someone that wears a mask better than a certain other clown, but failed to perfect it due to the mental affliction that is the ‘stigma’. Well, I don’t dislike him for any of that. It makes sense. It’s not lovely or fascinating or anything like that, but it’s rational. After all, if he concentrates sating his stigma by focusing on individuals instead of city blocks, that helps. If he constantly keeps his stigma topped off, he doesn’t have to worry much about snapping. And, I suppose a cold heart is a wonderful defense mechanism in a place where anyone is liable to die at any time.
So the ability to root or leash? Good. I’ll pack a shotgun and a combat knife to that date, and he can show me how a former member of the Senators tangle. Maybe I’ll wear some ear plugs though. Psychological warfare sounds like the territory of a snake.
Sophie LemaneI want her to be the first person I see in the morning.
Because there never seems to be enough time for me during the day to stick around her until she says something, and so far, it’s been 0 words from her and all words from me. I want to say that she’s just shy and all that, but Christ, this is worse than Christmas. Heheheh. That being said, she’s definitely not just deaf-mute. I’ve heard rumors of her speaking before. Just gotta figure out how to drag that out of her. Is it creepy that I’m so desperate to get a response from a girl five years younger than me? Naw, mang, it’s totally normal and totally not creepy!
But I suppose, if all else fails, she’ll probably make some sort of noise under enough pain. Nothing stabby-stabby, naturally, but maybe a kick or too. Hell, could even just tickle her…ok, yeah, that IS creepy.
Gregory IrvingI want to go down to Ground Zero with him.
Like, dang, it’s almost like looking in the mirror, except, you know, he’s got luscious blonde locks and looks good in a Victorian dress compared to myself, and he actually has hobbies. Not just things that he does, but actual hobbies! Sewing, lifting, all those things are things that he actually picks up for the hell of it. Super open as well. And though others apparently have issues with his bluntness…eh, it’s like a non-savage Kusari. Dude tells it like it is, and I can respect that. But, more than that…Greg’s just so creative! I love seeing the shit he pulls off in Ground Zero, and I totally want to get involved in that! Compared to Sander’s rampages, Chris’s rampages, and literally everyone else’s rampages, it’s real nice to see an Abberation who goes out of his way to experiment.
Launch Path IS pretty bad though. And he does have such beautiful locks of hair. Guess I'll blow out his hands, scalp him, and donate to some cancer foundation that makes wigs for bald kids.
Yankee
Altered Tundra
Alisdragon911
stone
VitaVitaAR
Animal
LanaStorm
Ohm
Haha
Shovel
