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24 days ago
Current frantically flipping through my notebook as i realize i'm late for my monthly bit. bomb. bomb. caesium capsule meets stomach lining. bomb. murder confession. bomb. need new material before they bomb m
1 like
2 mos ago
Never stop creating. Never stop improving. Live life fully, honestly, and the mystical adventure never ends. Thank you, Sensei. I think I'll train tomorrow.
9 likes
4 mos ago
My dreams are getting weird. They usually involve sterile lighting and a bunch of guys in labcoats discussing sedative dosages around me and getting really scared when i try to go to the bathroom lol
1 like
5 mos ago
i consume enough energy drink i changed my zodiac sign, i'm more taurine than any motherfucker born in April and i killed eleven people in that applebees two miles down the road
5 likes
7 mos ago
i be putting myself into situations
2 likes

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Second joke, same as the first joke






Before him, foreign men-at-arms, their armor sleek and unsegmented, as if skin. Their frames twisted, proportions exaggerated, each point of bone tipped witch swooping, doubtlessly sharp curves of alien crystal. Truly alien visages, staring at sometimes him, sometimes those below, judging all who stepped upon their hallowed ground, who dared fly within their sky. An invading host from a world beyond the light of their sun.

Perhaps it was a similar feeling to first seeing the great Khan's horde at your city's gate, or the men who rose from the foam of seas, axes in hand and woad paint upon their skin. Perhaps Bedwyr was less the one-armed knight that returned the sacred sword to the lake, and more the raider in service of he who slew the Picts to take the isle for his own, apocryphally or otherwise. Whatever these massive, oversized yet underwrought things were thinking behind their dull emerald eyes and featureless masks... They looked upon the landing team as what they were.

<<Don’t start anything if you can help it but you are not, I repeat not, expected to let them take the first shot.>>

Konstantin Stojanović, the man of a hundred sorties upon Ganymede, breathed in deep as a very familiar swelling sensation rose from his chest, a rising lightness and tingling crack of electricity through his veins. He knew when he was being sized up. He had already done much the same since the time the plumes of dust and ancient soil had cleared. With respect, officer, the question was not of if.

Merlon, equipped with the new eyeball tracking package and machine-learning integration, watched the pilot's pupils dilate in anticipation, a primal focus directed upon two gleaming mockeries of the simian form, 500 meters below. That was a whole lot of metal cast without regard for the electromagnetic spectrum— nice and big radar signature. Easiest target it ever painted.

The awakened pair continued to swivel their "heads", impassively regarding the team. For a moment, one might have been forgiven for regarding the embattled pilot as paranoid, guilty of projection, far too bloodthirsty in his own right. And that may have perhaps been true, for that moment.

Then their gazes snapped to Gypsy Soul.

A rush flew through Konstantin, liquid lightning that rendered him pale as blood traveled to more important places than skin.

Mouths that could not be seen ripped open, a violent, discordant, and distinctly metallic trill piping into the man's ears even as it shook his cockpit. Like an engine shoved into a trash compacter, really. It set his ears, his skin, his mind on fire.

A gleam of fool's gold, twin points of infected sunlight coalesced before them, still focused squarely upon the fey mech.

The trigger was pulled.

<<Engaging Bandits.>>

And then there was thunder, meeting their beams of malignant ichor with the relentless fury of a storm. All four of the E-30s mounted upon the OF-02D's hull roared in percussive symphony, drowning out metallic screech with a cascade of eighty millimeter gunfire. At the same time, the steady mech-scale chug of the Super 22s heralded the sands below blossoming into a shower of flame and force, 105mm canisters delivering cones of explosive hail downrange.

Let it begin.
finally
Gerard Segremors


@VitaVitaAR

A crimson glow before him, and the smell of burning copper, burning blood, filling the air. The magus lifted her arms, one projecting and arcane shield that stopped the path of his heavy knife through the air, whilst the other—

He was between strides. A stroke of luck for her, perhaps? Or was it keen timing? Either way, he could only twist his torso to try and wrench himself to the side, if enough time even existed. The next instant would determine it all— so long as he could close range and get ahold of her, he could certainly take her out of the fight. But just the same, if she loosed a bolt straight into his chest...

Storms set blazes. Melted metal. The fist of the gods would strike his chest. He, who could not even supply himself a cuirass, would take it against mere cloth. Merely escaping from the blast itself with his life would be nothing short of miraculous. It came down, then, to this instant. Would his speed surpass hers? Would his strategy? Would his raw luck?

The point of crimson light, casting the woman's face in deathly, pulsing reds— concentrated itself at the tip of her finger.

He did not dive wildly. It would arrest his momentum. He'd give her time to reposition. Regain her footing.

Unallowable. Without his base, however, he could barely shift at all, let alone with nuance. A sitting duck. No. Dead meat, waiting to be fried. On a set path, at a set velocity, with no way to escape it. There wasn't even a breath left to be taken. If he could just get one foot on the ground before that cannon of the skies was launched..!

The thud of boot upon stone, chased by the ripping of the world, echoing through the cavernous mausoleum like a roar from heaven itself.

A scarlet burst, bright enough to blind all who beheld it and turning the air itself the color of blood and rubies.

Heat that pulled wind from lungs, singed hairs, cooked alive everything within its path.

...

And he drove forward, ears ringing and right eye forced shut, yet still unerringly affixed upon his quarry. The space between them was closed in an instant. He knew not the method by which she had missed. Maybe his knife had distracted her from that crucial moment she needed to judge the distance. Maybe he had managed to pull himself free from the line of death she'd traced. Maybe Lady Reon smiled upon him for his faith. He had no way of knowing.

He only knew that this was an opening he'd never get again. Shifting to a grip upon the blade rather than hilt, sword became warhammer as the knight swung.

His strike, overhead and aimed for the woman's collarbone, met a wall of force before it could render the shoulder girdle a dozen shards. That shield again. He couldn't hook her off her feet, yank her head forward, or empty her lungs with his crossguard and pommel until he found a way around that. He could not yet capture his hastily scampering foe, trying to regain some space between them.

In that case, let her scramble. He just needed to steer her into a wall. Nowhere to run.

Do not let up on this pressure.

Do not abate the attack.

Keep moving forward!

Yes
gerard's family grew pumpkins for the season

happy halloween, everyone. hoping to post tomorrow, hands-on training at discount tire hits different.
been a busy week and change, in the middle of hiring process. haven’t forgotten i’m up here
Congrats to everyone. I might pop in and check how things are going every so often, but it's time to take a bow and gracefully enter the audience.
I'll be honest, I totally missed the Small Group tag when I was drawing up Selma's sheet.
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