KoL

Deep Ground Online (Hiatus)

@Eviledd1984

Well, now that's an... interesting CS, though there quite a lot of issues with it, at least on my view point. Here are they, in no specific order of importance:

- Since this is an anime inspired RP and everyone else has anime images, or descriptions, for their characters' appearances I think you should do so as well. At the very least to avoid a huge dissonance between your character and the rest. I could elaborate it from a personal POV, but I think it's not the pint here.

- His history/personality (though this one is less an issue then the first) needs a serious expansion, there's pretty much nothing there at all. At least make sure it's one decent sized paragraph long, so we don't feel like we are interacting with a card board cutout.

- For his avatar, please specify which subclass you picked, since it's kind necessary, once you reach level three. You can't go on with out one, even if it's just for us to gauge if you abilities match the archetype you chose at least in part.

- Talking about feats, I believe you've made a mistake between them and feats. Abilities are custom powers unique to your character and no one else. You have to create them on your own. While feats are preset system skills that you pick one when you reach the appropriate level. Currently all your abilities are actually feats, but you haven't picked the one feat you are truly allowed to have. This is by far the most serious one and that needs correction before proceeding further with the character, please give it some thought and if you can't have any idea, look over the CS tab for examples of how to do it/ask us about some suggestions.

See ya.

Deep Ground Online (Hiatus)

@Queue13

It's ok now, I think, just wait for @Lucius Cypher & @TheWindel's greenlight. They'll probably be on soon enough.

Hello is this RP still open?

@Eviledd1984

As said by Windel, we're always open.

KoL's Character Sheets

Yuuna Yukino

Yuuna Yukino

Height: 160 cm | Weight: 55kg.

Name:

Yuuna Yukino.

Age:

16 years.

Team:

Hero Brigade.

Appearance:

Transformed.

Wish:

"I want to see a White Cristmas..."

Soul Gem Color:

Icy Blue.

Powers:

Yuuna has the power to control ice and cold magic, creating almost any shape out of it and freezing things with a simple touch. However her magic is not very controllable and Yuuna's power to freeze things bleeds out contantly. During most of the year it's not a problem, but if she stays in a place for too long the temperature will surely feel a bit colder. However, durint the Winter, specially near Christmas, she literally becomes a blizzard magnet and not even once has Yuuna woke up to find a Christmas morning without heavy snow covering all as far as she can see.

Weapon:

A spear that can break apart into a storm of shrapnel that mows down anything it touches and then reform on Yuuna's hand. Like most other magical girls she can summon a near limitless number of them.

Personality:

Yuuna is as cold as the winter and snow she takes after, somewhat distant, but confident in her skills, Yuuna likes to isolate herself from the world behind a barrier of music, a habit that is fruit of both a violent upbringing in a bad family and her losses from after she took on the magical girl mantle.

The magical girl life might have soured Yuna's view of the world, but she's still a good person who struggles hard against the weight of her own perceived sins. Whoever this cold exterior is a mask, in truth Yuuna does long for closeness with others, but in opening herself she could bring much pain to herself again, that's why she avoids it.

Bio:

Yuuna was born on Okinawa, and spent the best of her childhood learning the island's traditional martial art, the Okinawan karate as well as Soujustsu, the art of the spear, as a child from a respected martial artists lineage. However, since she was the only child her mother could bear, before falling victim to an illness that plagued her for years, Yuuna was treated very badly by her father and grandparents. Sometimes she was even forced to go to sleep on an empty stomach after being beaten for not keeping up with the harsh lessons, or forbidden to go school.

The worse came when it turned out that Yuuna had been sneaking out of home to participate in a Christian congregation, the only source of solace she found, since the traditional religion her family forced on her only brought more grief to Yuuna. Yuna never remembers taking a beating from her father worse than that day, which only turned worse because because it was the Christmas eve, a day Yuuna had been waiting for so long.

That was when Yuuna reached her limit, and run away from home, broken and sobbing. That's when Yuuna came across a mall where she thought would be a good place to hide for the night. During a show on an artificial ice skating ring, Yuuna became enthralled with the idea of a White Christmas and the magic of snow, to a childish degree. Suddenly, an unbearably cute litle creature that no one else seemed to be able to notice came to Yuuna and asked "Yuuna Yukino, would you like to become a magical girl?"

And the rest is history...

Theme:

Other:

N/A.

Role Plays Featured: The Truth Behind the Project

Deep Ground Online (Hiatus)

@Queue13

This new ability is much better, thought there's still one thing that could be changed. Make it based on avatar levels, not real world age, after all it wouldn't take much for your character to get private information with an ability based on real life stats. Maybe, a bonus against avatars of level 5 or higher and a penalty against those of level 4 or lower?

@Scarifar

Your character is good, tough I think those cooldowns may need some revision considering DGO's combat rules. I guess it depends mostly on what @TheWindel and @Lucius Cypher have to say.

Magical Notes - A Tale of Songs and Knights [Hiatus]

Ahgfjaegfqkw I missed sooo much in two days...

I took my AP Tests these last few days, and I had no time to get on the guild. Please forgive me for not posting :(

@RiverMaiden

No problem, you haven't missed as much as you think, we are going slow.

KoL's Character Sheets

Erika Natsuko

Erika

Height: 166 cm. | Weight: 57 kg.

Name:

Erika Natsuko.

Age:

17 years.

Team:

The Order.

Appearance:

Transformed.

Wish:

"I want to bring balance to this world..."

Soul Gem Color:

Red, with a strange swirly pattern to its shine.

Powers:

"Light and darkness, sorrow and joy, healing and pain, everything must come in pairs of which the sum will always equate to zero..."

Erika's power is a two-fold gift and curse, a blessing that also brings disgrace, for this world relies on balance and Erika can control the very equations upon which reality is built, effectively changing the outcome of any event as long as another of opposite, but equal magnite happens to counteract the first one. While it's normal for Erika to create balance instantly, she can also hold back the consequences, building "Yin" energy that transçlates directly to Soulgem corruption, but she can also release this energy, in the form of curses, which take the physical form of Primordials, even before the usual time for her Soulgem to clean itself has elapse, needless to say, this is a last resource that Erika is very unwilling to use.

Weapon:

Owing to her Taoist principles, Erika can summon magic ofuda that have the power to banish evil in the form of explosions of magical energy. She also has access to a gohei, a ceremonial rod with strips of paper at one end, which she can use as a whip of variable length.

Personality & Bio:

Erika is a very dutiful person with a, perhaps too high, sense of justice that sometimes gets her labeled as self-righteous, not without reason, since she is far too prone to push he values on others without a care for their own thoughts. Well, at least anyone that isn't her younger sister, who Erika as always protected at all costs, even going as far as shouldering the burden of her family on her own, to allow Akame to have a more easy going life, or doing the sacrifice of becoming a magical girl to protect her sister from the shadows.

However all that was for naught when Erika discovered that Akame found about her secret and decided to become a magical girl as well, squandering her life to prove a childish point, without even knowing Erika's true motivations. Unable to bear this grief, Erika decided to create a group of magical girls that would like to undo their wishes even if it's said to be impossible. Erika does believe that if she never became a magical girl, Akame would never follow her steps and thus, she would be saving her sister.

Theme:

Other:

N/A.

Role Plays Featured: The Truth Behind the Project

Deep Ground Online (Hiatus)

@Queue13

I usually don't like to review incomplete CSs because they are subject to change at any given moment, but let me say two things.

- The ability you have there may not have as much use as you'd like against Players and important NPCs, since it relies in some form of mind control (even if light). I'm not telling you to ditch it, just giving a reminder that you'll need OOC cooperation on these types of fights to allow such an ability to work. The second part of it actually can border on OP depending on how much people it can affect at once, since wars are a regular thing on DGO, so I'll let it under your further explanation and @TheWindel's judgement.

- Second the web site you are using for your image seems to have a problem with BB code, try using this link instead: http://i.imgur.com/xCaLVe4.jpg

Otherwise, have a good one.

Magical Notes - A Tale of Songs and Knights [Hiatus]

@Pikmin Eye

I understand your point about the murder business, but it seems that some people might not have got the idea. It was just a remainder, really.

As for the ??? girl, you'll have your chance to interrogate her, just not now. There's things that must be done before that.

Magical Notes - A Tale of Songs and Knights [Hiatus]

@solokolos

PS: if you are wondering a Sealing Order is have your Spirit forcibly banished by "Knight Hunters" (Song Knights that are trained to hunt down criminal Song Knights) and then be imprisoned in a way that you can't use you songs anymore. Effectively the worse thing that can happen to a Song Knight short of execution.

Magical Notes - A Tale of Songs and Knights [Hiatus]

The speech about dismissing "that thing" is in reference to Isabelle's golem, correct @kol?

@solokolos

Yeah, whether it's a spirit or not doesn't matter for the guard captain, since he can't tell the difference, but no matter what the fact that she can undo it stands true.

They don't need yet another tumult to rise because of kids who don't know what they are doing.