<Snipped quote by Lucius Cypher>
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Knight of Lorelei
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Most Recent Posts
Ok, time for some reviews.
@Lucius Cypher
Like I said before, your character is pretty much alright. However, I get the feel that he's too medieval inspired, which will make him someone way behind of his times. But, there's something that I must say, he's way too much talented and in ways that are basically way too unrealistic for this kind of narrative.
As far as I can see, he's capable of copying and recalling any sound or text he ever saw with pinpoint precision, which is way too much too give for a single person. So, I have two suggestions regarding this: Either you focus him on a single task (still giving him the unrealistic high skill), or you dial him back to a human level on those things that he can do (even then I still ask you to drop one or two of those skills and make him less spread apart in talents).
Other than this, he's good to me.
@Conscripts
Your character is good by my. There's nothing too out of context with him at all, except maybe your choice of terms when describing him/writing your intro. To clarify it, the term "steampunk" splattered on the text draws a bit of the seriousness of the post, pushing it too much to the fantasy side. Instead of using steampunk jacket why not just keep it to jacket alone?
This is just a bit to keep the overall tone of the story even. He's really ok.
@Faux Fox
Your character is good as well, but (because of the modern looks of the image you are using) I really have to ask that you at least give us a bit of an idea of how your character is dressed, etc. And probably revise that inventory as well to make it appropriate for their time period.
Otherwise, she's pretty good enough.
Well, that's all I had to say on those characters we have up to now. Please wait for @TheWindel's opinion before posting them on the Character's tab.
@Lucius Cypher
Like I said before, your character is pretty much alright. However, I get the feel that he's too medieval inspired, which will make him someone way behind of his times. But, there's something that I must say, he's way too much talented and in ways that are basically way too unrealistic for this kind of narrative.
As far as I can see, he's capable of copying and recalling any sound or text he ever saw with pinpoint precision, which is way too much too give for a single person. So, I have two suggestions regarding this: Either you focus him on a single task (still giving him the unrealistic high skill), or you dial him back to a human level on those things that he can do (even then I still ask you to drop one or two of those skills and make him less spread apart in talents).
Other than this, he's good to me.
@Conscripts
Your character is good by my. There's nothing too out of context with him at all, except maybe your choice of terms when describing him/writing your intro. To clarify it, the term "steampunk" splattered on the text draws a bit of the seriousness of the post, pushing it too much to the fantasy side. Instead of using steampunk jacket why not just keep it to jacket alone?
This is just a bit to keep the overall tone of the story even. He's really ok.
@Faux Fox
Your character is good as well, but (because of the modern looks of the image you are using) I really have to ask that you at least give us a bit of an idea of how your character is dressed, etc. And probably revise that inventory as well to make it appropriate for their time period.
Otherwise, she's pretty good enough.
Well, that's all I had to say on those characters we have up to now. Please wait for @TheWindel's opinion before posting them on the Character's tab.
"Eos did it? That's why I can't remember them?! Ohhh, if that doesn't make my anger for the Machina grow!"
Eos: "Come and get some."
But seriously, try to not push things too far. The Demon PCs are almost crossing into metagame territory because of Artoria. It's beginning to annoy me, to be frank.
That wasn't our fault that she got annihilated, so try to not push the boundary of what behavior is acceptable too much.
Edit: Little does everyone know that when Artoria can be brought back, the Frog will be on the front lines to get her back.
Don't worry, you may get this chance quite faster than you think. Though, everything has a price.
Before that happens, I just want to use the next battle to squeeze some feels. 'cause it's fun, hehehe.
You mean the scene where Gradon is knocked out and any woman could come over and drag his body into a broom closet to do unspeakable things to his body?
That's a pretty viable option, I'll admit it.
By the way, if anyone who wants to reply next is free move us to the kitchen/mess hall if you want to (or at least move whoever wants to be moved). After all there's a nigh unattended scene there, since everyone pretty much gathered in only one place.
We will move on with the time skip and story proper once both scenes have been properly addressed.
We will move on with the time skip and story proper once both scenes have been properly addressed.
I was about to ask about what he was going to do since that post confused me quite a bit. Anyway, I'll be sure to add something on my next post or so. Probably after this weekend.
Well, I added the genre tags back at the first top of the first post. Since it maybe helpful. I still left the title clean, so that it can tickle people's imagination when they see it, though.
Actually, the interest's title pretty much shows the era of the RP, something in which the actual RP post did not mention.
Anyway, don't mind me. I'm just a math majoring student who was just looking a bit too carefully and too detailed. ;-;
Oh, I decided to not have all of that long title here on the actual. Perhaps I should've added the genre tags to the OP, but that escaped me.
Either way, I'll add my comments about your character later, along with Cypher's. For the time being he seems quite alright.
@Skepic
Your character will come in on the next post, as part of the escort of the officer who will be conducting the (surprise) troop review. Just leaving this for your knowledge.
@Onarax
While we would have appreciated a heads up, or even a simple note, that's not really a problem. RL stuff happens, after all. You can have Anne be already there with everyone since she was part of the group before that. It should be no problem.
Your character will come in on the next post, as part of the escort of the officer who will be conducting the (surprise) troop review. Just leaving this for your knowledge.
@Onarax
While we would have appreciated a heads up, or even a simple note, that's not really a problem. RL stuff happens, after all. You can have Anne be already there with everyone since she was part of the group before that. It should be no problem.
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