PlatinumSkink

RPGC #9: Rebirth -- voting and discussion

After considerable consideration, I @vote for "I was not always a frog". To think that just reading the thoughts of a frog that wasn't always a frog could be so interesting. Very well done, indeed.

Pokémon: One (~Looking for one player and a Co-GM!~)

@Whimsley Oh, I didn't even keep track of that. Completely understood. And I posted. I was beat to actually having Rowan suggest it himself, but I'm making the most of it~! In a way that feels quite in-character~!

Pokémon: One (~Looking for one player and a Co-GM!~)

Rowan Branchers

_____

Dewmeadow, Dogwood's Lab

Rowan and Purrloin both stared with kind of surprised eyes towards where the Professor was leaving and then screamed outside. He had his excuse, but Rowan was genuinely confused as to what the real cause of the sound was. Was- was there something he knew that the children he was sending out didn't know, but he couldn't do anything about it? … And then he came in and talked about his childhood friend who had disappeared... That's it. The Professor is definitely worried about them, for some reason.

'Don't worry, Professor!' Rowan made a fist and lifted it with one hand, his eyes gleaming under a determined frown. 'We'll be perfectly safe! You have no reason to worry!'

Purrloin, still held in Rowan's other arm, copied her trainer for the cuteness factor and held out a little paw and copied Rowan's expression towards the Professor, including the eyes. 'Rrloin!'

Alright. Now, then. They had all gotten their Pokémon. Rowan had studied quite extensively for his Pokémon trip, to the degree that his parents had joked that maybe he'd get bored out there because he'd already learned all there was to learn out there. Though, he had mostly only studied different species of Pokémon and things that concern them, things like the geography of the land, history and region-specific things he had completely forgot. But, he did know that there WERE dangers out there. Dangers that would be bad to face alone. That, and... They had gotten their Pokémon together.

Rowan looked off towards Mara and Yasha. He really, REALLY wanted to travel with them. But, what if they thought otherwise? What if they wanted to brave the unknown by themselves? Would he just be a bother, requesting such a childish thing? He had it on the tip of his tongue, wondering if he should say something, but shyly thinking that maybe-

"Uh, say y'all, how about we all partner up for this here journey? I sure ain't exactly sure how things work in Huji and I really could use some buddies for the

@hatakekuro

'YES! THAT! JUST THAT!' Rowan would suddenly eagerly exclaim, his eyes wide in excitement that was just a little bit too powerful to allow Yasha to finish that entire sentence. He still could, of course, but at that moment Rowan would have processed enough of what he was saying to suddenly shout out happily, actually startling the Purrloin on his arms. 'We should totally travel together, sharing our experience and becoming the best of friends together as we see the world!' … Then, after what Yasha had triggered from his mouth, he realized that Mara had not actually had time to say her opinion on this yet, and that he might have pressured her to it. Suddenly wincing back to shy Rowan, he lowered his gaze a bit and adressed her.

'Er, that is, if you want to? I-if you want to travel alone, or don't want to travel with us for any reason, that's entirely okay, it's entirely your choice, y-yeah...' Rowan's volume had decreased considerably as he asked Mara. Purrloin looked at her trainer, and then looked with a little curious look at Mara and Kira. She then made the loneliest look in the entire universe, tilting her head making the area under her eyes look just a bit bigger, ears and tails dropping a little and looking at her. '… Purrloin?' She asked.

Of course, to Purrloin, she was just attempting to amass more people that found her the most endearing being in the world. More people around meant more confusion and more safety for her to practice her usual behavior. That, and more targets. Of course.
________

Pokémon

Purrloin
Moves: Scratch, Growl
Ability: Unburden
Nature: Naughty
Held Item: ---

Key Items: Dogwood Pokédex
Items: 1 Potion, 1 Dogwood Ball
482 P

RPGC #9: Rebirth -- voting and discussion

Well. We should have at least eight more people that could voice their opinions. That is, the writers of the entries.

I've gotten the impression that this is finals week and everybody of that age has been pretty busy. Maybe that's the cause of the apparent inactivity?

Still, it would be nice if some more people would post. I was kind of hoping to look at the votes of others before voting myself, because there are three entries that I feel equally deserve my vote and don't really want to pick between them.

Pokémon: One (~Looking for one player and a Co-GM!~)

Since Dewmeadow is "coming soon" I'll just throw myself in and post before it actually comes. Yupp.

Pokémon: One (~Looking for one player and a Co-GM!~)

Rowan Branchers

_____

Dewmeadow

Rowan didn’t waste a second. He listened to the words Dogwood talked but barely heard them, glanced over the information displayed on the screen but didn’t actually read it, he was too excited about actually getting his Purrloin. And then… he actually got her. He got the little Pokéball in his hand. Knowing by having studied what to do, he clicked and opened the Pokéball, and in a little flash of light Purrloin took shape on the floor, the purple cat-Pokémon stretching out her limbs and yawning (slightly adorably) at the fact she had been woken up, before looking around with a small cat-smile and a calculating look to evaluate her current situation.

It was immediately apparent to Purrloin. There was this kid smiling at her like it was the best day of his life. It also appeared that he was holding her Pokéball, which was a clear indication that her new trainer had been decided. Purrfect.

‘Purr~looiiin~’ The cat made an adorable sound and her eyes went from analyzing to extremely happy as she went over and stroked herself against Rowan’s leg in her act. Rowan… bought it immediately. He looked so happy that he might start crying as he took a step back to then go down on his knees to hug the Pokémon, who while mildly surprised welcomed the gesture and cuddled against him.

‘Purrloin.’ Rowan said to her dreamingly. ‘Puuurr~’ Purrloin replied appreciatingly. They both looked so extremely happy. Of course, a nearby Pokémon would have understood that Purrloin had just said something along the lines of “I couldn’t have asked for an easier Trainer~!”, but that’s another matter altogether. He had, after all, in his excitement skipped reading her nature and the Pokédex entry on her, after all.

‘We’ll have the BEST of adventures!’ After having had his little first meeting for a bit, he let Purrloin go and…

‘Awwwwww! An Espurr!’ Rowan’s eyes widened happily once again as he saw what Mara had on her shoulder. Normally, his reaction might have been a bit more extreme, but now he just looked and smiled happily down at Purrloin. ‘Of course. If I get something as adorable as you, then they has to get something too!’ He turned to Mara. ‘I’m so happy for you!’
‘Loooin~’ Purrloin made a sound of agreeing with Rowan’s statement. Because she was to seem adorable to everyone else, too.

And Yasha got a Yanma. ‘Ooooh. A Yanma.’ Rowan looked in mild amazement at that the boy also got his first Pokémon, but then his attention was suddenly once again drawn to Purrloin brushing herself against his leg. Smirking, Rowan bent down and picked her up before also taking his Pokédex and listened in to the Professor’s words. Alright, so they’d get money for capturing Pokémon? That works. It’s a way to make a living. Not use Ficus tech, huh. Rowan was surprised by that, but okay. Then, got Dogwood ball. ‘Thank you…!’

At this point, Rowan didn’t really have any questions, so he’d wait for the questions of the other two to be sated. He’s just going to smile at his cuddling Purrloin in his arms for a bit. And Purrloin has absolutely nothing against working as deep into his heart as she can.

________

Pokémon

Purrloin
Moves: Scratch, Growl
Ability: Unburden
Nature: Naughty
Held Item: ---

Key Items: Dogwood Pokédex
Items: 1 Potion, 1 Dogwood Ball
488 P

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

@shylarah ... But it's still technically a story/character written by an author with the intention of clearing the challenge! Nothing is going to change that! XD

Anyways. Thanks for your input. I'm happy you found my entry amusing and so. Yeah... but the challenge still confuses me. Haha.

Nod/Acknowledged Button

Sometimes, I want to acknowledge that I've read a post. Maybe someone replied to me or what-not. But, it's not worth a like, laugh, thank or so. I just want to acknowledge that I've read it, and it feels like posting a reply to confirm such is overkill.

So. I want a "nod" button next to the other three. When I want to acknowledge that I've read the post, but don't feel it is worth a like and don't really have anything to say as a reply. "Nod"/"Acknowledged", or something. Yeah.

I'll totally understand if that'd be lowest possible priority, but I feel I need one at times. So I thought I'd suggest it.

It really doesn't even need to keep track of how many one has received or given, if that makes it easier. Just click, the post has been acknowledged, send an alert to the poster. Pretty much. That'd do.

RPGC #9: Rebirth -- voting and discussion

@Flagg *nod* <part of entry answering to Flagg ends there>

...

Can't I have three votes? There are three entries here that I want to vote for, but I like them just about equally much. No specific one of them stands out more than the other two. Which makes placing my one vote a headache.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

Responses to the reviews of the Eight Labour. … And yes, for those who were wondering, the story is ”<untitled>” because the Narrator was never able to give it a name. XD

Polybius

Whoah. Wow. That was like watching a disneyworld ride wearing muppet-glasses inside a film loosely based on a Hunter S. Thompson exploit. Thoroughly scarred. Thank you!

I love the ending-glad all of this was going somewhere. I think you could maybe cut out some parts that aren't necessary and format the dialogue a little better to make it clear who is saying what. Maybe put the narrators voice in italics or vice-versa. All in all enjoyable and a fitting end.

@Polybius

That's quite the sentence. I am very pleased to have caused this reaction. You're welcome, and thanks for making me smile. Haha. … And part of the idea was that the Narrator was writing everything as he wanted it and then never got the time to touch up on things, so the unclearness was actually intentional, but maybe that's a bad thing for something that I'm intending on actually forcing people to read... XD

mdk

The good: My signature single-quotation-mark dialogue is gaining ground! This is one of those madly-specific entries which is so tailored to the contest that it fits very nicely here. More generally, you did a nice, consistent thing with paragraphs that had a predictable flow to them and drove the story, one of those 'form contributing to the total piece' things you seem to do pretty often lately. I know that specifically this version won't necessarily be much use in future efforts -- but the fact that you keep coming up with ways to organize your stories cleverly is remarkable. I am remarking.

The work-on-its: It's hard to criticize the entry when it's designed this much for the contest at hand. I mean I can't fault you for messing up punctuation when your character kept interrupting, right? If the plot didn't make sense.... well that was the point, wasn't it? So I guess in your case, the 'thing to work on' is like..... I dunno, I wanna see something broader, something more conventional. Or just keep having fun. My objective when I'm doing these reviews is to help people improve -- but having fun is more important probably. Still if the generic 'writing improvement' thing is a goal, it would help to do more..... generic..... writing...... god that hurts to even type. Whatever.

Challenge-wise, despite your best purported efforts I think your character made you clear it, so good to go?

@mdk

XD … Well, yeah, using this as a basis of criticism would be a bit weird. Don't worry, this'll very likely be a one-time thing. As for generic writing, I did a LOT of it last labour, so I could go out of my way on this one, right? Haha. Thanks for the review~

RomanAria

You have failed in the eighth labour.

So. I really enjoyed your story. Your grammar is, as ever, excellent, as is your sentence structure and variety. I will admit that the telling of this tale was quite confusing, how you would break in the middle of a paragraph and go to a different thought. I lost track of who was talking several times as well, and where The Narrator and The Character’s thoughts started and ended. I understand that it’s for design purposes but at the same time, on my first reading through I was hopelessly confused and even now my grasp of it is shaky. The balance between form and function might need to be reevaluated.

The reason I failed your entry, (though the above was a part of the consideration as well) was one specific line. You outright admit that the scenario is contrived, which goes against the challenge parameters. 'It's just you affecting their fates again in order to create a situation where you fight your creation in order to fulfill the requirements.' You deliberately picked a fight you couldn’t win, or you picked the fight and then did not destroy your character, to allow your character to beat you. I’m sorry, but I cannot allow your entry to pass.

@RomanAria

That... was a meta-joke that does not apply to the labour. It was a reference to that I'm writing a tale of me being beat and there's no way for me to beat myself if I'm not intentionally writing a tale about me being beaten, in the story itself I have no such power over the Creation. But you've already heard that.

Otherwise, I'm happy you enjoyed it. I intentionally left it pretty cluttered, yeah, as you said. I apologize for any side-effects this might have had, but it felt so true to the story to do it like that. Haha. Anyways. Thanks for the review.

Terminal

It totally seriously matters.

I will have you know, I read @mdk's review (after the fact) - and they actually brought up a pretty valid point. In terms of meta-context, you never got the opprotunity to polish up your own story since you were busy having your face ripped off. In that sense, your story is a masterpiece. Every minor typo, mispelled word, the awkward sentence structure and the disjointed narrative shifting between third and first person - would all have served to enhance the unerlying 'unfinished' aspect of the story. However, information contrary to that little gem of a theory exists.

You have admittedly manufactured your opposition in the form of the Creation, including their powers and their commentary!

Or to put it as simply as possible - your story is not honest. It is certainly clever. It is definitely, definitely entertaining. But you did not adhere to the spirit of the challenge, and it is for that sole reason that you have failed.

Your grammar, spelling, and the overall structure of your narrative was much cleaner this time around - save for the jumbled and nonsensically arranged shift between first and third person perspective on the part of the narrator, as well as the confusing split between descriptive and verbal text. While I can understand that you did it for stylistic reasons and that the problem is intentional, ultimately the arrangement is more annoying than interesting. If you try experimenting with alternative formatting like this in the future, I would advise you to keep in mind one of the tenants of the challenge clarifications - you were not required to anthropomorphize yourself. By distancting your physical self from the dissonance in the narration taking place in the story, you might be able to create a more sophisticated effect that does not conflict with the personal perspective of the narrative.

@Terminal

I don't understand what ”the spirit of the challenge” is. I was meta-joking about the fact that I can't actually write a story about me being beaten without intentionally writing a story about me being beaten. That was outside the story itself. In the story itself, I have no control over the Creation, meaning he beat me with me struggling against him with all my might in it. Minus the fleeing part. But you've already know that, but it's still pretty annoying that you've quoted that Challenge Parameter as if I didn't know it when I MENTIONED IT IN THE ENTRY. XD

Anyways. I was aware I didn't need to anthropomorphize myself, but when I got this idea for an entry, I kinda had to. Haha. Had I gotten another idea of how to have my creation could beat me, I'd maybe have left myself out of the main picture. But yes, people have stated that they got confused, so I suppose I totally succeeded wiith the intended clutteredness. I'll avoid it in the future, but I still consider it a total success for the intended purpose I left it. Teh-heh.

Otherwise, I'm rather happy you found it entertaining. I'm not entirely sure if I should see that use of the word ”masterpiece” as being honest or not, but I appreciate the word-choice. Not that I know how much difference there would be between my polished and unpolished texts. Haha. Thanks for the review. … I'll try to avoid stupid jokes in the future, I suppose.