I will freely admit it grated my nerves that you clearly anthropomorphized the seasons arbitrarily as anime-genre girls, and I was sort of relying on RomanAria to help and supply an objective viewpoint. In their absence, I shall attempt to set aside my misgivings and tell you what I liked about the story.
Firstly, I found the reasons supplied by the children as to why they enjoyed winter to be fairly well-reasoned and compelling. It is not a trend often seen in literature to frame winter as an ally of man, so that was actually a pleasant change for once. I also liked how you established and described Winter's motives for rebelling and attempting to prolong her existence - the setup for her defiance is expertly woven throughout the beginning and is indicative of excellent overall story-structure and planning. I will also say that this particular story, without question, is the single cleanest entry you have ever submitted. There are an odd few issues with awkward grammar, but they are few and far between.
Outstanding work overall. A bit cheesy and the caricatures are admittedly not to my taste, but I will still acknowledge what is evidently a splendid effort.
I will mention that I did not imagine them as anime-characters. My primary inspiration were the nymphs. Minor female nature deities. I had already decided to make use of gods in some way, so, yeah. Just the same way Zeus might be the God of Thunder I had Winter be... well, the Goddess of Winter, and then I just didn't come up with any clever names. Haha.
So, that aside, I am very happy you liked everything that actually mattered in the entry. XD
I mean, yeah, how they looked didn't matter in the slightest, that's just a skin which contains the body of the story, sooo, yeah. It's like the entry is a person which you said you liked as a person despite them looking ugly. So, I'm happy about that. Hahaha.
Also, yes. I like winter. Winter makes me so happy. Winter also made the most sense for the story I was imagining. So, proper research was made. I'm happy you found that a breath of fresh air~
And yes. About that cleanness and compliments about the planning. This time, for once, I actually got an idea I liked AHEAD OF TIME, sat down to plan and write it WITH PLENTY OF TIME TO GO, and had it finished NOT ON THE LAST SECOND so I could PROPERLY PROOFREAD IT an EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF TIMES. And what I got for that? RESULTS. I'm pretty happy right now~! :D
I remind once again that Amelia is a number of hours forward, therefore Laurinda can be on both locations at once... Haha.
@Rune_Alchemist So, in this case, I actually handed over control before you actually captured the Pokémon with a Pokéball. You won't get the messages unless you actually put the Pokémon in one. ... So you COULD decide not to actually capture the Pokémon, if you felt like it, in this case. Ha, ha, ha... ... ... Gah.
@Pikmin Eye Sooo, maybe I should implement a system so that you can roughly gauge the level of an opponent at a glance? Maybe? Because this turned slightly hilarious on my side. Hahaha.
@Delta44 And you're offered continued contact. Congratulations, young girl. You've made contact with the arguably nicest of the rivals, at least among the boys. Hahaha.
@Joshua Tamashii Of course, all she says is merely her own recommendations, you don't need to listen to her~ XD
@Pink Madness I kind of need @Eklispe's post first before I respond to yours, you're in the same location, but yes, I'll get to it as soon as he posts!
...
Yell at me if I forgot something or somewhat. Haha.
‘Phox.’ Delphox merely commented before taking a few steps away, crossing her arms and idly positioning her wand so that she could waste time by staring into the fire.
The Weedle stared up at Claire where it was placed. To get as close to Weedle’s height as she could she’d likely have to almost lie down, it was only 30 cm tall (compared to full length or what, official stats?), and in obvious distress as she lowered herself. It lowered its stinger in warning when she came closer… but then turned out to not attack, since she didn’t. Its gaze waved between her, Ralia + clones and Delphox for a few seconds when Claire made her offer.
Sooooo, Weedle glanced around a bit. It was an empty scenery filled with the charred fainted bodies of those who had engaged with Delphox, who was still standing over there, and… … …
‘Weedle.’ The bug jumped onto Claire’s hand, quite content with taking the less painful option.
Claire obtained Weedle!
Gender: ♂ Type: Bug/Poison Personality: (Up to player.) Quirks/Talents/Aspirations/Other: (Up to player.) Level: 4 Moves: Poison Sting, String Shot Ability: Shield Dust, secondary effects of enemy attacks are negated. Held Item: None.
New Pokémon caught! Claire earned 500 P!
Would you like to give a nickname to Weedle?
‘It appears… you’ve gone a bit wild.’ Laurinda suddenly came walking back, a calm expression on her face as she watched over the surroundings. She didn’t look all that approving, and Delphox was completely declining looking at Laurinda for the moment while her trainer stared at the bipedal fox for a couple of seconds, before giving a bit of a sigh, accepting the situation.
There was someone behind her that had walked along. The girl of average height stood with blonde hair, white shirt and black-white patterned skirt, gazing over the surroundings with a look like she owned the place and had everything in complete control, even though she clearly didn’t. Her blonde hair extended in two long twin-tails, and she looked quite impressed with the field of destruction, and her gaze wandered to rest on Claire.
‘… Oooh? Heh…’ She made the slightest of a sound effect, looking interested, but otherwise kept quiet.
‘… I’ve finished my business.’ Laurinda stated, looking a bit exhausted. She looked at Claire. ‘We’re heading back. I’m not leaving you here.’ She stated, her voice a bit less patient than it had been on the way here.
So, at the command, Nincada dashed forward and scratched at Bulbasaur. The reptile with a bud on his back recoiled a bit as the bug’s slice scratched him, damaged, and then Martin threw his Pokéball. So, the Pokéball sailed through the air and-
SMACK
… Bulbasaur struck it out of the air with a Vine Whip, staring forward at Nincada with a little scratch-wound on his cheek but apparently not all that damaged by it. This Pokémon might be higher level than Martin had anticipated, and had just deflected the Pokéball with little additional thought. The Pokéball flew into the wall on the side and bounced to a standstill on some rocks, still completely fine and able to be thrown again if Martin retrieved it.
‘… Bulba-SAUR!’ The green Pokémon used Growl, right into Nincada’s face, reducing his attack. Then, the Vine Whips rose, making ready to strike down at Nincada to make life a bit more unpleasant. Martin maybe had to consider again how he wanted to go about with this.
During the contest, Joshua had been ranking the contestants between 1 to 10, pressing the button as many times as he gave them the rank. Though, from the sound of it, there were quite a few in the audience who were just smashing the button like crazy whenever anything was on stage. It was like its own kind of applause.
At the time of the announcement of the winner, there would indeed have been quite a bit of cheering. Ewan wasn’t the kind to shout out, though Joshua had started to but stopped himself when he realized Ren was speaking. Hearing Ren speaking was much more important than just making noise. He then nodded eagerly at her words, though still paying attention.
‘Don’t worry, it was my pleasure~’ Joshua responded to the thanks. He then listened to her talk about being interested and… Joshua turned and pointed north. ‘The adventure starts in Redcoast City!’ He announced. ‘Named so for the color of the skies in the twilight hours as you stand on their coasts, it holds the Normal Rank Pokémon Contests! There, they also have training for all potential contestants and all the information on the matter which could be of use! Potential coordinators gather there, hoping to make it big!’ So he informed, and turned to smile at Ren. Pikachu dashed up and landed on Joshua’s shoulder as he did, also smiling happily.
‘I’d love to fund you watching more shows, but now we’re broke too!’ Joshua grinned happily, his face saying “worth it”.
‘He’s broke. I’m not.’ Ewan corrected, though he didn’t look like he was intending on spending his remaining funds.
‘Yupp! So, we probably need to do some of this actual Pokémon adventuring to earn some funds for when we arrive in Redcoast City! You might also want to catch Pokémon, if you want to use different Pokémon in each category, or maybe you want to try making your partner become the All-Star?’ Joshua spun about, Pikachu holding on for dear life, while shielding his eyes with a hand, as if to look mysterious all of a sudden.
‘Aaaah, the legendary All-Star… A Pokémon that has been able to win all five categories. Its existence is a myth, for no Pokémon has ever managed to do it…’ Joshua chuckled a little. ‘Penelope is attempting it with Purrqyute. She’s already won in all categories on Normal Rank, and she’s got Clever, Beautiful and Cute covered on Super Rank. I predict she’s going to struggle with Tough and Cool, however…’ He looked to the Pikachu on his shoulder. ‘Think you could do it, little buddy?’
‘Pika-pikachu!’ The Pokémon promptly lifted both hands in determined victory to gesture that indeed he thought he could. Joshua chuckled a little. ‘Of course you will!’ He then spun back to Ren, making Pikachu hold on again while Joshua smiled to her.
‘Hey, how about we exchange numbers? Even if we go separate ways, we can call one another when we eventually reach Redcoast City, and continue the discussion then! Or, if you ever just wanna chat sometimes, that’s fine too!’ Joshua offered, taking up his Pokédex, because it was also his phone with numbers and such. ‘You offer too, Ewan!’ Joshua commanded.
Ewan had merely been standing, watching with a neutral calm expression, but did a little nod to his friend’s command.
‘Alright. I remind once again, declining is an option, but at the very least, this is an option we’re offering. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.’ Ewan said, reaching to potentially take his out too. All depending on what Ren wanted now.
‘…’ Laurinda looked at the young trained with a slightly concerned expression, taking a little while to answer. Though, then she finally did.
‘Who told you that? I sincerely hope the words came with a grave warning. Because, their presence in these woods are unknown to most travellers. In fact… … … Who told you?’ She reiterated the first question, looking concerned with this. Regardless of the answer, Laurinda would then continue speaking.
‘Listen. Attempting to get a Ghost-Pokémon out of these woods is possible, but extremely dangerous, especially at your level.’ She said, having discerned the level of Amelia’s Pokémon with but a glance. ‘I would not recommend that you try traversing there on your own. I would also therefore appreciate if you do not tell any other young trainers of their presence in these woods, or the number of trainers I have to save before they get into trouble is going to increase considerably.’ Laurinda stated, looking a bit tired. She might have had a long day.
... I actually just had a nightmare where I had this finely crafted post before me, perfect in every way, yet when I posted it magically turned into an unintelligible mess where every word was missing letters and likely had countless grammatical mistakes as well. Each word also somehow had this red bar under it to emphasize the errors despite that it was posted on the guild which doesn't have that feature. Hah.
She’d likely not make it in time for the first time he opened the door, but by silently stalking the guard until he was heading in again Wisp found her opportunity to slip inside. Assuming she did not trigger any alarm, she’d feel relief in that she had gotten this far without trouble. She’d keep her eyes out for security devices of any kind, just in case, while she drifted about and gleamed what she could from the contents of the boxes and what the grunts were doing, just in case.
But of course, the subjects of the most interest were likely inside the brighter room. This wasn’t necessarily a mission to get any dirt on them, but any kind of ammunition was nice. As such, it was time to get as much information on the situation as she could. She leaned at the wall beside the door, listening as intently as she could from outside since they had been so kind to leave the door ajar for her. It occurred to her that may actually have been the exact intention, but she’d pretend it wasn’t.
As she could turn light within her one-meter range, she could also turn the light from inside the room and guide it into her eyes to see inside without actually leaning in to peek. She did exactly that, while also straining her ears to hear what they were saying as well as possible. The question of “can Shatterpoint see me” still lingered within her mind, it was all too possible he would see floating points of weaknesses on her invisible body. But, if this was the room she was looking for, she’d likely enter eventually. But, first. Eavesdrop and see in from around the corner.
Xaltwind
Savo
Framing A Moose
Ariamis
Not a Sayan
SkyeOfStars
Remram
Apollosarcher
