Avatar of Psyker Landshark

Status

Recent Statuses

3 mos ago
Current As a GM, I hate all my players in particular
5 likes
7 mos ago
joining the war on smoking, on the side of smoking
2 likes
9 mos ago
as a patreon reward I will read your least favorite person's handmade custom tabletop RPG homebrew and ask them why they didn't just run it in 5e instead
3 likes
11 mos ago
I started RP before double digit age but you couldn't have gotten an admission I was under 18 under threat of death. Kids just casually admiting it online now is wild.
2 likes
1 yr ago
the whole subway's mine for the slammin'
3 likes

Bio

sneed

Most Recent Posts

@Nanaya Oh yeah, permission to have Iraleth catch up and act this round? I'm assuming it's implied from the post, just double checking.
Renar Hagen


He'd thought that the situation would have lost its humor by now, but Renar just couldn't resist taking amusement in the inherent comedy of such a person of influence debasing himself like this. He didn't exactly have much to contribute here, not being versed in magics like Gertrude or having a connection to the fey itself like Fionn, so Renar contented himself with observing the situation for now.

The king's own court mage being here wasn't much of a surprise, considering the Duke being a member of His Majesty's line. Still, it was something to keep an eye on. Trying to make inroads with the man at the current moment was ill-advised, considering all of them were here to fulfill an actual task. Something to keep in mind for later. At the very least, Renar could take the time to see what made the man tick.

Renar stayed on the fringes of the gathering, wondering to himself for a moment. If this were him, how would he have taken advantage of the situation? There was always somebody looking to profit from a crisis like this. One only had to consider the correct angle...ah. He nodded to himself for a moment before stepping out of the hall briefly and flagging a passing servant down.

"My good man," Renar casually slipped the servant a handful of coin. "No doubt you know that we're here to investigate the duke's...condition. Tell me, does he have any political rivals or anyone who stands to benefit from the poor lord's sudden befuddlement?" He'd already ruled the son out. The man had the perfect chance to rule in his father's place by deeming him invalid, but as it stood, it seemed Thedric's child had made no moves in that regard.

In SPIRITUM 2 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Kalina Kovalic


Kalina couldn't even have half a moment to enjoy the sight of Ivan getting what he deserved before Morden had to butt in and express an opinion. She narrowed her eyes in displeasure, telepathically responding while listening to Ivan squeal.

You're right, sorry. That's my bad. I should have stabbed him instead. Second, he's not a civilian, he's an auxiliary. And last, I don't care what else he is besides incompetent. That's grounds alone for worse in wartime.

Her stare intensified into a full on glare as Ivan tried lie after lie. Even if Kalina didn't know Ivan as well as she did, the sheer logical inconsistency of his excuses was a red flag.

"Dad isn't the one with imperial contacts. I always suspected you were dealing to them on the side, too."

He's selling all these on the black market, I guarantee it. Take everything we need. Dad and company won't miss what they were never going to get in the first place.

Then Gerard handed Kalina the gunblade, and her eyes widened as she read the inscription.

Etched on the blade, in the old tongue of the eastern regions, read:

To my little Lina.

She lifted the gunblade, testing its weight and heft. Finely crafted, intended for battlefield use, and fit perfectly in her hands. Though not without a few decorative flourishes.

"He didn't have to bother getting the flowers..." She murmured under her breath before returning her stare to Ivan. This had been meant for her. Her father had never mentioned a word of it, so it must have been intended as a surprise gift. Ivan...

"We do go back. Long enough for me to think Dad should've had you shot years ago." Kalina said flatly, looking Ivan dead in the eyes. "This just confirms it." The tip of Kalina's newly-acquired blade came plunging down towards Ivan's throat. One clean motion, no hesitation.

I'll cover up the evidence before we leave.
Strike Cruiser Tenacity of Sigismund


The Karia Crusade emerged into realspace with minimal issue, its ships' Gellar Fields holding steady throughout their voyage on the tides of the Warp. Aboard the Tenacity of Sigismund, a lord of the Astartes poured over a tactical readout of the current void situation, barking orders as the Striker Cruiser's escorts stayed in formation around it.

"Commsman, get me open channels with the Navy and any Space Marine detachments in the theater. Battlefleet Trecentis, do you read? This is Marshal Hartmut of the Black Templars, arriving in-theater with ground and void reinforcements. Requesting any and all tactical information on these unknown xenos, over."

Had this been a known enemy, there wouldn't have been the need for hesitation. The order to launch boarding torpedos and engage in the void would have been given already. But nothing in the Templars' long history of battle had any information on these new xenos. Not an unheard-of situation, especially among those dedicated to the Eternal Crusade, but it still merited some amount of caution.

Was that supermassive abomination above Tergatus Magna a living ship like those of the Tyranids, or an entire leviathan soaring through the void? One could be boarded and its inhabitants fought. The other was simply asking to waste the Emperor's currency on fruitless actions.

"To all servants of the Emperor in-system, we are the Karia Crusade, and we bring the Emperor's wrath upon these foul wretches. In the name of the Emperor and Dorn!"
At sea…


Five days spent on the waves. Two more until they reached Costa del Sol, according to Bikke. For the most part, the voyage had been rather uneventful thus far. The seas had been calm, and they’d not encountered another ship in days. That was about to change.

”OI! On th’ horizon! Airship on our arses, capn’!” The lookout up in the crow’s nest set his spyglass aside, yelling down to the rest of the crew.

”What?!” Bikke roared from his position at the helm, craning his neck back to confirm that, indeed, there was an airship closing in at high speed on their position. ”Damn it! All hands, to stations! Those of ye not on guns, prepare fer boarders! Helmsman, hard to port, get us in position fer a barrage!”

As the airship approached, its Valheimr colors became evident, and Izayoi frowned as she beheld it.

”They must have followed us from Kugane.” She noted with a hiss, her hand falling down to crack an inch of steel from its sheathe. ”To arms, then!”

The airship slowed its approach just before entering vertical range of the pirates’ cannons, causing no small amount of consternation among the crew. Before Bikke’s battle plans could be redrawn, however, movement from the interceptor caught the attention of all on board.

A glint of light shot out from the airship’s boarding ramp, arcing up into the sky before coming crashing down towards the Scurvy Fishman, several smaller flames following its arc. As the light began to descend, Izayoi widened her eyes in surprise, recognizing what was going on. How could she not, when she’d faced so many of them during the war?

”Incoming dragoon! Move!” She cried out to everyone in range, already leaping to the side.

The dragoon’s jump missed her by inches, and the apparent Edreni turncoat in question backflipped out of the way of Izayoi’s retaliatory strike, landing with an unnecessary twirl of his spear. His purple armor gleamed in the sunlight as he landed, tilting his helmeted head, face hidden behind a visor.

”Pity. I was hoping to avenge my fellows. Ah, well. You’re just a side benefit, anyway.”

The flames following the dragoon revealed themselves as several armored Valheimr with large metal backpacks spewing flame, enabling some amount of limited flight and highly enhanced jumping capability. They brandished rifles bearing axe-bayonets as they landed, impaling and shooting several of the pirates after having taken them completely by surprise on their unorthodox approach.

”Godsdamnit, get off me ship, ye cunts!” Bikke snarled in frustration as he brandished a massive battleaxe, one of the Valheimr faux-dragoons nimbly boosting out of the way of his blows with their jump pack.

For his part, the one legitimate dragoon among them regarded his compatriots with disgust, spewing orders with no small amount of derision.

”Alright, squires, time to prove if you’re worth the time I’ve been putting into you. Capture the dragon girl and don’t bother engaging the man wearing armor like mine, not even if he attacks you. Caradoc’s life is worth a hundred of yours’, and if any of you wretches somehow luck your way into killing him, I’ll make sure you die by inches. And try to stay out of our…attache’s way.” His orders given, the enemy dragoon turned towards Galahad, offering a respectful nod.

”Galahad. Forgive the trespass. You’ll understand one day.”

His chance to say anything further was cut off as Izayoi engaged, just barely managing to bring his weapon up to deflect her opening blow. The two went back and forth for a few moments until he flipped away once more, landing nimbly atop the ship’s mast as he surveyed the battlefield. ”None of that, Limbtaker! I’ll deal with you in a moment. Just give me the chance to speak to an old friend-is that Rudolf Shilage??”

The purple-armored dragoon lifted his visor up to reveal a jovial, blonde-haired face ever so slightly younger than his Caradoc fellow. One which was recognizable to the two Edreni men he’d been addressing.

”You’re supposed to be dying of plague, according to Otto! What in the hells are you doing here?!” After a moment, he shrugged. ”Ah, well. Questions for later, if you survive.” He leapt up again, this time plunging down towards Rudolf, spearhead aimed for his heart.

All the while, the remaining Valheimr continued to launch their assault on the ship’s crew and the Kirins, rifle-axes lashing out. Despite their commander’s disdain for them, their effectiveness approached those of legitimate Edreni dragon knights, swiftly moving through the air and striking with impunity thanks to their technological crutches.

”I will enjoy hearing the explanation for this once his corpse riddles the bottom of the sea, Caradoc!” Izayoi yelled in Galahad's direction as she narrowly sidestepped a rifle shot and started to close in on one of the Valheimr dragoons.
Iraleth Kyrios


The Inheritor rammed shield-and-shoulder first into the bulkhead that got in her way, leaving a sizeable dent. But not one that could be broken through without more focused effort. And with several others past that...this was a waste of her time. Who was in charge of the security system?! Otis? Didn't he realize Ciara could teleport? This would do nothing but aid her and inhibit-

He wouldn't. Even for someone who'd presented as untrustworthy as him, that was insanity. What was his game? No, that was only if Otis was behind the controls at this moment. Something to deal with later. For now, Iraleth would have to take care of this herself.

She ran through her available options in her head with all the speed of a combat veteran, thinking of and discarding various methods until she had the Essence codewords she'd needed. The transfigured paladin slammed her weapons down into the floor, holding her hands palm out as she bent her knees to brace herself.

Light, burning bright, formed between her palms. Iraleth focused her magic, shaping it with the proper codewords until her power reached its apex. She thrust her hands forward, vocalizing the Essence words to give her spell greater strength.

"Radiance unrelenting!" Iraleth bellowed as a focused beam of light shot forth, drilling through the first bulkhead and not stopping as it sought to punch an opening through as many as possible in the paladin's path. This wouldn't stop her. Ciara would face justice today, or Iraleth would die trying.
Renar Hagen


Oh goddesses oh fuck this was pure comedy and he couldn't laugh-

Renar presented a completely straight, impassive face as Duke Thedric made an utter fool of himself, all the while howling on the inside. What a godsdamned idiot! If there was one thing Renar took humor in, it was laughing at fools. And right now, the good Duke was the biggest fool of all.

Still, they had a job to do here. Renar shoved all of his amusement at the situation into its own compartmentalized box and shoved it into the back of his mind, getting down to business as he considered the situation. Their new resident mage had already declared this to be the work of magic, and as much as Renar didn't trust her overall reliability, he had no reason to believe she didn't know what she was talking about when it came to the arcane. Fey or demonic, then? Well, this was something of an easy first choice, in that case.

"We can determine whether or not it's one of those rather quickly, can't we?" He turned to Fionn, patiently waiting for him to stop playing along before continuing.

"Fionn, how much contact do you have with your...special friend? I'd imagine she could clear up whether or not this was fey influence."

@Octo @The Otter
Yeah, Chunji is a rat right now.


Ciara is cheesed to meet him
Auguste found himself tied to a chair in a dark room, barely able to make anything out past his immediate surroundings. Which were suddenly occupied with a masked figure, clad in a hood and dark leathers. The person seemed to stare balefully down at the bound butler, their voice distorted by the mask as they spoke.

”Auguste Koscielny. I won’t beat around the bush. You manage Duke Rhinecliff’s estate. Therefore, you have something I’m very interested in, that I won’t hesitate to inflict a great deal of pain in acquiring. Give me what I want, and you’ll find yourself spared of all that suffering. Do we have an understanding, or do you intend to be difficult?”

The young head-butler startled, but his body was too tightly bound to do much more than fling his head back, his eyes filled with a sense of dread, alarm, and…Well, the last time he was in a situation like this, he had paid for it. Voice-distorting mask aside. Still, despite his foppish nature and his general lack of experience, Auguste was almost about to loudly declare that he would never betray the Duke, before biting his tongue.

Pain drove initial reactions away. Helped calm himself as well. He took in a deep breath, remembered the manual, and then nodded. He wasn’t going to be difficult. Didn’t want pain, after all. But there was another flash of hesitation flickering through his eyes as well.

Was he just going to do all this just so his death was painless? In which case…

“O-only if you swear upon the All-Force not to kill me after this! So I can’t give you my life…or my heart!”

”I swear that I won’t physically harm you or traumatize you mentally in any way so long as you cooperate fully and tell me the truth. Satisfied?” It was an easy oath to make, considering Safina’s Seed. Auguste wouldn’t remember a thing about any of this after he was done.

”Once we’re finished here, you’re going to wake up safe back in your bed on the morrow. So,” The masked figure leaned in.

”Your master’s vault. Where is it?”

“I don-”

Auguste caught himself before he damned himself, his brows furrowing in thought.

“Duke Rhinecliff has never given us any idea as to where his vault was,” he said instead, his words slowing down as he carefully thought it over. “When it comes to public projects in Odonfield, he’d send letters to banks or merchants’ guilds about it.”

So the dukedom’s spending money, at least, wasn’t to be found in the estate.

“But, there’s a couple of areas in the estate that never require cleaning or maintenance, so if you’re planning on stealing ‘treasure’, they might be there? Usually he likes to keep his study to himself, and there’s a section of the library room that’s off-limits to anyone but his Grace.”

Whatever the case was, it appeared that the head butler was either incredibly fearful for his life, incredibly disloyal, or had been instructed to not consider loyalty a merit to begin with.

This was ridiculous. Rhinecliff had to have money somewhere. Banks and merchants? Was he financing his public ventures on credit??

The masked figure leaned in very closely. ”You’re making this easy. Suspiciously easy. I need you to think very carefully for a moment. What safeguards do you know of within the estate?”

Auguste tried to lean back, but his head was already pressed against the back of the chair.

“I mean, I’m not lying! And there’s nothing crazy for safeguards too, at least I don’t think? You know, normal amount of guards, some security magic, but nothing that’s like he’s hiding a whole army in the estate?” Except when the army comes in for an occasion. “And His Grace carries the only key to those private places, but, y’know?”

If he had his arms free, he’d probably make some empty gesticulation. “There’s no traps or anything I know of. I heard from the older servants that the estate had gone through renovations after the war, but back then, I wasn’t even working.”

After a moment, the masked figure relented, stepping back and pulling out a brooch with a black pearl embedded in its center.

”You’ve been very helpful.” Safina said as the Empty Gaze began to work its magics. ”Fret not, I’m keeping to my word. You won’t remember a word of this conversation once you wake, though all the evidence will point to a rather embarrassing night in for you.” After a few moments more, the Seed finished its work, and Safina proceeded to knock Auguste out with a chop to the back of the neck.

”Oi, you lot. Get in here.” Safina called out to the rest of her team, the various assassins starting to filter in. ”Right, I want you and you,” She pointed towards two local Concord members from the Odonfield cell. ”Get this one home. Plant some evidence and make it look like he didn’t show up to work after a night of getting good and soused. The rest of you,” She looked to her assassins, removing the mask from her face.

”We move on the estate tonight. The study and the library.”
I'm a 100% phone user


statements made by psychopaths
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet