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as a patreon reward I will read your least favorite person's handmade custom tabletop RPG homebrew and ask them why they didn't just run it in 5e instead
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I started RP before double digit age but you couldn't have gotten an admission I was under 18 under threat of death. Kids just casually admiting it online now is wild.
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the whole subway's mine for the slammin'
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Ranbu no Izayoi


There was no time for fear. For doubt. For anything past ingrained experience and raw, feral instinct. Izayoi surged forward with a wordless roar, her blade poised to cut at what would be a tendon in the Behemoth's forearm, even as Rudolf attempted to sever its spine and Galahad came crashing down as a bolt from the blue. For its part, the Behemoth bristled, its neck narrowly twisting to save its spinal cord, roaring in pain from blackflame cutting into it. One meaty limb reached up to grapple Rudolf, the other backhanding Izayoi away with brutal force after her blade sank into said limb.

As Galahad and his halberd crashed down into its back, the Behemoth buckled and roared in agony, squeezing Rudolf once before hurling him aside. It howled again, this time flopping over and rolling along the ground once, twice, thrice, aiming to crush Galahad between its back and the dirt. It came up on all four legs, bleeding profusely from several new wounds but dealing proportionately savage damage to its three new foes.

Izayoi picked herself up from a distance away, propping herself up with her sword as a crutch and spitting blood due to her broken ribs. It was only thanks to a quick barrier from Selene that neither herself, Rudolf, nor Galahad were completely out of the fight as of yet, even as injured as they were.

Even as Esben's bullet plinked off of its hind leg, the Behemoth roared once more, a pulse of aether in its mouth surging up into the sky and breaking apart, creating a swarm of heavensent stone that came crashing down into the militia. Not the Comet spell recorded in Sagramori archives, but a lesser prelude to it. Cursing even as she forced her body to leap out of the way of a few stray meteorites, Izayoi dropped to one knee, a hand still clutching her midsection as the great, Blighted beast drew itself up on its hind legs and howled its rage to the heavens.
Salvator Rasch


Salvator processed the information given to him over comlink with a grim lack of enthusiasm, his lips pursing beneath his mask. Great. Wonderful. Entire platoons of heavily-armed boarders on the station. That explained the gunship support. At least there was the ethereal equivalent of a crisp breeze on the exterior of the Sargasso. So perhaps he and Alice would die refreshed, at least.

Of course, he didn't let his doubts show in even his body language, staying alert and ready as they trudged through. That would be an idiotic waste of squad morale if he couldn't contain his opinions to his own inner monologue. At least Kleo wasn't taking the opportunity to start a fight again. A few more of those, and it would have likely put Salvator into conniptions. The only saving grace on that front was that their support squad had someone equally as volatile, evidently.

"Harvest, Rasch. We copy, appreciate the support in dodging those pirate elements. Continuing advance, over." He keyed into comms before looking around, nodding to Ilshar.

"I hear you. Agreed." Salvator murmured as they proceeded forward, his carbine sweeping over anything that gave a hint of movement. "Squad, Rasch. Anything to report so far? Sounds like we got lucky evading entire platoons of upjumped pirates."

Alright then: what were things like before Guildfall?


I wasn't here before Guildfall but I would love a story


Current RPG still has less in-reply functionality with BBCode than pre-Guildfall RPG did on phpBB.

the end, please clap

Ranbu no Izayoi


Slowly, the tide began to turn. Izayoi and Rudolf held the eastern gate, godspeed blade and black flame alike starting to divert the tide of Blightbeasts further south through sheer weight of the bodies piling up before them. Meanwhile, Esben and Eliane's efforts in rallying the local militia began to take effect, the levied fighters starting to do as bid now that a source of authority had made itself known.

"Thank tha gods yer here." A grizzled man bearing a pistol and munition armor grunted, nodding to Eliane as he approached during a brief lull in the battle. "Call me Lell. Militia captain, on account of bein' tha only fightin' man ta make it home in recent years. Lost tha lord's manse when they approached, think them Blightbeasts got 'em while he was out hunting. No gunpowder out here in these boonies, though. Only steel. Fallin' in under yer orders, Dame."

Bolstered by new leadership, the militia rallied, Galahad and Miina's efforts shoring up enough of their deficiencies so that they formed a solid spear wall under Eliane's orders. Sent fleeing and pursued from the east, further Blightbeasts flowed south, beginning to pile up just as Esben had planned. Chisato slipped through the ranks, sowing chaos where she could, and as she disappeared, Lell nodded to himself, positioned a pace away from Eliane while firing his pistol repeatedly into the Blightbeast horde.

"Going rather well, ain't it? Like some sort of divine miracle, just up an' having a bunch of folk show up to save tha day. Well. We can't be having that now, can we?" His voice shifted tone midsentence, pitching up higher as his aim shifted towards Eliane's back, pulling the trigger with the last of his ammunition. The shot was critical, and likely fatal in time, but not as lethal as the gunner had intended, whether it be due to simple providence on Eliane's part, or a last second reaction.

When the dust and smoke cleared, Loki looked upon her work with a dissatisfied frown, melting into the shadows just in time to avoid a furious, newly-arrived Izayoi's attempted leaping cleave.

"Damnation and hellfire! Miina, we need you, immediately! Eliane is downed!"

As if on cue, a furious roar carried across the field. The Blightbeast horde, which had previously been on the verge of outright dissolution, seemed to take heart and vigor from the cry, suddenly redoubling their charge in earnest. In contrast, the militia saw their newly arrived commander fall, and began to waver, the ranks loosening. Their fear tripled as the source of the roar made itself known, lumbering towards the front of the field from the rear of the pack, Blightbeasts turned or outright tackled aside by its rush.

A titanic canine bearing wicked horns and a great mane sallied forth, Blight oozing from open gashes on its sides. A Behemoth, fallen to the Blight.

"Hold, damn you!" Izayoi bellowed in response, a flick of her blade sending shockwaves of wind crashing into the horde. "The first man to abandon his duty and leave his peers and family to the Blight will be the first to die by my blade!" Her gaze searched the town's tallest buildings until she found Galahad, crying up to him.

"We need to charge! The Behemoth must die before it and the horde overwhelm the militia! Esben!" Izayoi shifted her attention towards the other Skaeller. "Can you still maintain order here?"

Lieutenant Aria Dvalin


"There's nothing we can do? You're sure?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Unless we scrounge up a Leonard-compatible engine somewhere in this sector, the Armatus can't be modified much further without losing critical combat capability in one area or another. As it is, we're treading water unless we can find one. And we both know how Rayleonard ACs are with proprietary tech.

"...Damn it." Aria slammed a fist down on her mechanic's desk in frustration, who looked on placidly, long since used to these outbursts.

"Ma'am, all due respect, scuttlebutt has it that you have connections with the Prince. He can't get us an engine or some such shipped out here?"

Aria fixed her tech with a withering glare at that, the latter wincing.

"I've used up enough quite a bit of capital with him as it is, even getting placed into this Lance. That, and I suspect he'd grow bored and tune out any explanation I give him. He hardly even listens to that aide of his, and unlike that harlot, I'm not sleeping with him." She wasn't entirely sure of the veracity of that statement, but based on rumor and extrapolating what Cassian used to be like compared to the manchild he was now, this particular pet theory of Aria's had a better than average chance to be true.

“All Lance elements: begin immediate preparations for armored core deployment. All pilots, be ready for departure within the hour. More information to follow.”

She'd already been in the hangar when the General Quarters alert came out, meaning that Aria was in the cockpit within moments of the klaxons sounding, going through preflight checks with her attached maintenance crew.

"Reactor and engine status?"

"Online, ma'am!" Came her team's head mechanic's reply over comlink, instantly harried into swiftness despite the fact that the two had just been discussing the AC's engine conundrum not half a minute ago.

"Armament?"

"Standard package, El-Tee: Rifle, beam saber, shield. SPAMRAAMs fully loaded. Skyeye suite operational."

"Good. Main systems, online. Moving to deployment zone!"

"Roger, ma'am. Kick some ass out there!"

With the Armatus fully booted up, Aria maneuvered the mech towards the ship's designated rally point, checking over the battlespace map Lucia had sent over in the meantime. With what little intel they had on this entire situation, she couldn't complain about the proposed plan by any means. Merely the lack of available information going into this battle. Aria despised playing escort, but it was a necessary part of the proposed tactical plan. She'd bite her lip and get the job done.

"Lieutenant Aria Dvalin, AC Armatus. All systems green, prepped for launch. Onyx-9 Actual, reading you five by five. See you on the other side."

Aria worked through the comms in order, monitoring who was gathering first. As expected, the Baron had beat her there. His request had her wincing, wondering how exactly best to word this. Ordinarily, Aria would have been far more aggressive in jockeying for the vanguard. But towards Wilhelm von Zollern? No self-respecting member of any Imperial armed force would have dared show such temerity, even in the face of what was likely a poor tactical decision. Thus, it fell to old, barely-remembered noble mannerisms to carry the day.

"Baron Wilhelm, with all due respect, the Black Knight's command-and-control suite is too integral to our overall coordination to risk in the van. Please, allow me to take your place, should the Prince will it."

It wasn't as if Aria didn't understand. Of course she did. Any pilot with a working pair and the will to fight would have done the same. And she didn't doubt the canny old veteran's skills, either. But it was exactly as she said: much as the ship's head mechanic did, Aria looked over the available readouts of the entire Lance's ACs. The Black Knight had the only functioning C2 suite available to the field team. Even if it was an old, mass-produced piece of tech, that alone rendered it invaluable to the Lance's overall coordination. Hopefully, both the Baron and the Prince would see her request for the tactical consideration it was, and not her jockeying for glory and recognition, no matter how true the latter was as well.

...Oh, who was she kidding? She wouldn't be surprised if Cassian decided to deny the Baron on some whim.
Also a Battletech enjoyer, noticed when one mech was just the Black Knight lol.

something something tyche comstar pay your bills joke

(post from me soon)
Ranbu no Izayoi


”Next in line!”

Unlike the last two times they’d dealt with gate guards and border security, this time the Kirins were queueing in line like all the rest, instead of finding ways to circumvent the guard by hook and by crook. It was almost a novel feeling.

Of course, this being the border to Skael, the line was about as short as expected, with only a few independent merchants and one caravan queueing and awaiting inspection at the border. Skael’s infamous isolationism pushed away most curious people from approaching, with only those with either rare contacts or necessary goods typically traveling back and forth from the border. That, or mercenaries returning from abroad.

The queue came up to the Kirins’ caravan, and Izayoi waited as Esben and Eliane took the lead with what identification and papers they had. As he read them over, the guardsmen conducting the inspection just gave a brief nod of his head.

”Right, so you’re the persons of interest we’ve been demanded at to let you straight in. Move along, then. And try not to keep whatever bigwig in Solitude wants you waiting, eh? We’ll send word along, not to worry.” He ushered them through the border gate, and Izayoi blinked. Just like that, with hardly any fuss? It seemed that Skaeller spymistress had kept true to her word. A lucky break, for once on this entire journey.

The nearest village on this side of the border was still a few hours’ march, but by the time they arrived, close to sunset, Izayoi was given cause to deeply regret her earlier breath of relief: the hamlet was in a state of panic, townspeople fleeing their way.

"Blightbeasts! Blightbeasts!"
"Gods, help us!"
"The militia can't hold much longer!"

Ahead, they could see a ragtag group of village militia, armed with spears and pitchforks, working desperately to stem a tide of ravenous Blightbeasts of all shapes and sizes surging in from the south and east.

"Damn it all!" Izayoi hunched down, reaching to thumb an inch of steel from her scabbard. "Come! They'll not stem that tide for long!" She dashed forward, diving straight into the fray.

"Och, good luck, kupo!" Goug squaked in alarm, immediately starting to prod the chocobos to turn with the wagon. "I'll try not tae get eaten, while ye sort that kupo shite out!"

Alright, that one actually bugs me enough that I'm changing it by one letter. And done.

Lieutenant Aria Dvalin


Age: 23
Archetype: Soldier/Commander
Gender: Female
Appearance: 5’8”, lithe build, typically wearing either a flightsuit or formal officer dress.
Occupation: Lancer, Imperial Army Lieutenant
Affiliations: Imperial Court (former), House Dvalin, Imperial Army
Skills and Abilities:
  • Ruthless Aggression: Disgraced, hungry for accolades, and willing to do anything in the name of victory, Aria bears a fire in her that serves her well on the battlefield. She bears no aversion towards wetwork and dishonorable tactics, not batting an eye if that’s what it takes to succeed in a mission.
  • Noble Contacts: Even with House Svalin in a state of humiliation and near-ruin, debts must be paid. Any noble house with enough decades and centuries to its pedigree bears a long line of alliances and favors owed, all informally categorized but still remembered. Aria can leverage what remains of her family’s reputation to at least receive audiences with the house’s old allies, though whether or not she receives aid at a bearable cost, or any aid at all, is up in the air.
  • Budding Ace: While still young, Aria’s begun to build a reputation for herself as an up-and-comer in the military, irrespective of her family’s reputation. She impressed in simulations at pilot academy and performed well enough in her first deployment that her name is likely on a shortlist somewhere in terms of military careers to watch out for.


Faults and Limitations:
  • Recklessly Aggressive: The same will and fire that fuels Aria is also a double-edged sword. She’s all too willing to discard good sense and caution if she thinks she can leverage an advantage, and is easily goaded in the face of perceived timidity or cowardice.
  • Disgraced Name: Hans Dvalin, Aria’s father, was accused of and convicted in seventeen cases of illegal market manipulation, deception of Imperial authorities, and murder of a rival noble competitor. For this, House Svalin’s assets were seized and its name muddied, the pieces left for Aria to pick up. Those with any knowledge of the Imperial Court will recognize her family name and the disgrace associated with it.


Biography:
Born as the first daughter and eldest child to the venerable and noble House Dvalin, Aria spent her childhood raised on Old Earth itself, her family a prominent player in the Imperial Court. She was at least acquainted with several of Emperor Aurelius’s imperial scions, though the only one that could be called a friend was one Prince Cassian. They were playmates and schoolmates in their youth, with Aria trying her best to rein in his budding excesses in their pre-adolescent years, lest he drag her down when he was inevitably caught.

The silver lining there was that she didn’t have to personally witness Cassian’s descent into scandal and debauchery during their teenage years, as House Dvalin was implicated in graft, treachery, and murder. All common failings of the high nobility, but to be caught was to be punished severely. Aria’s parents were executed, their assets seized, and both she and her younger siblings were split up and rendered wards of the state. House Dvalin still existed, as the children weren’t technically punished for the sins of their parents, and she was now its head, but that was to be a matriarch of nothing. Her extended family saw which way the wind was blowing and scattered both physically and socially, leaving her alone.

And all of that just wouldn’t do. Having been raised in the highest halls of power itself, Aria swore to return one day and bring her family name back to prominence. Of course, a teenage girl with no resources and a tarred name had no way of doing that alone. Thus, the moment she came of age, she applied to and was accepted into an imperial military academy. Aria spent her academy years pouring blood, sweat, and tears into ensuring she was to be the best she could be, and was rewarded by passing with flying colors, earning the privilege of being named a Lancer and sent along to her first deployment immediately. She performed with distinction against pirates, raiders, and rebels, but still knew that this wasn’t catapulting the Svalin name up to the halls of power anywhere quickly enough. Something had to change.

It was around this time that word of Prince Cassian’s Lance being formed reached her. While it burned to remember such an old childhood friend, and it was outright bizarre to hear of this after hearing of his debaucheries during her time in the academy, Aria nonetheless didn’t hesitate. Her current deployment was ending anyways, and she would be reassigned soon. Thus, she was the one who reached out first, hoping to leverage her old association and childhood friendship with the Prince to secure a spot in his Lance. Nepotistic? Perhaps. Did she care? Not at all. Whatever it took. One way or another, she would find her way back to Earth. This was just the most expedient way to do so that Aria could see.


AC: ARMATUS


Role and Doctrine: While still largely resembling the chassis of a generalist Leonard stock unit, the Armatus is modified under the hood to specialize in aerial mobility and interception. Some armor was stripped to improve speed and aerodynamic performance, turning the unit into a high-speed, low-drag interceptor capable of anti-air and ground capabilities alike. Typically armed with a generalist suite of weapons, aiming to whittle down enemies at range before moving in for a decisive kill stroke up close.

Notable Armaments or Systems:
  • Aerial High-Mobility Suite: A combination of a back-mounted jump pack, several jump jets installed into the leg module, and enhanced thrusters give the Armatus a greater amount of aerial movement compared to most mechs, capable of zipping around midair for some time.
  • SPAMRAAM Missile Launcher: Smart-Propelled Advanced Medium-Range Air-to-Armor Missiles. Designed for saturation fire to overwhelm enemy point defense, the SPAMRAAM fires a barrage of micro missiles per salvo. While the penetrative and explosive power of each are minimal on their own, their combined effect when enough missiles overwhelm enemy defenses are comparable to heavier payloads.
  • Skyeye Targeting Suite: An upgraded FCS and sensors. Enables a wide-range multi-lock and enhances target lock capabilities to a medium degree.


Known Limitations or Vulnerabilities:
  • Stripped Armor: While not near the extreme of a true glass cannon, the Armatus still had enough of its armor plating removed to accommodate its jump jets that its defensive capabilities are below that of a standard model of its make. In a prolonged or cramped fight, this will prove to be an issue.
  • Off The Shelf: While customized to a degree, the Armatus’s profile is still obviously that of a moderately common Leonard unit. Thus, its general capabilities are still easily able to be estimated.
  • Specs Restricted: Outside of its exceptional mobility, the Armatus bears no other distinguishing characteristics. The weight limit and energy load required to maintain its speed and boost capability limit it to using average weaponry besides the SPAMRAAMs. It would take excessive fine-tuning and likely an internal overhaul to accommodate a hypothetical engine refit that would solve these issues, as the Leonard’s stock engine is only barely keeping up with the demands the unit is placing on it.


@Kensai

Fair enough, was just kind of awkward reading it on review this morning like "ohhhh shit, I hope they didn't think I was ripping them off"
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