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A N N O U N C E M E N T:

CRISIS UPDATE:

The Crisis is now live. Players have the option of responding to either the New York or Star City threat although both situations are identical. As implied by the post, those affected are being controlled by the robots embedded on the back of their necks. Your characters will be faced with the dilemma of taking on the immediate threat to reduce collateral damage or searching for the source of the attack as described in the launch post.

Keep in mind that no matter which path you choose, you'll be facing severe adversity both from civilians who will refuse your help as they continue their blind assault and from those who have been elected to guard the source of the 'swarm'. To achieve the best possible outcome, you'll need to work together.

Best of luck to all involved and thank you for an amazing first season.


Since you continue to want feedback: this is another example of something I like to see. Brief clarification and slight guidance on the events so as to ensure minimal confusion and maximum cohesion.
@HenryJonesJr We also are all in the Discord. It's not to replace the OOC, but there's a lot of dialogue there between pretty much everyone. In case you cared to join.
Just to help clarify for future IC posts: mutants and metahumans are the same in this world. Metahumans are the 'official' term for those born with the metagene (also known as the X-Gene). Mutant is the derogatory term originally coined when metahuman numbers began to increase. Modern metahumans have been trying to retake the term for themselves.

This has been established through comments in the IC already, but just to avoid future confusion.
Hopefully, my exhausted brain didn't fuck up this new post too much.

Manhattan, New York City | Present Day

Chapter One | Part Four

Koriand'r tugged at the hem of her new top. The baby blue t-shirt felt snug on her frame and she had to keep adjusting it each time the material rode up along her midriff as she walked. Elijah had apologized in advance, having guessed on appropriate sizes for the alien woman and knowing most options weren't likely to fit properly. While the items he had called jeans seemed to fit relatively well, the strange articles of clothing that were meant to be worn under the outer garments were causing the usually cheerful alien to frown.

Shifting somewhat uncomfortably for the hundredth time since changing into these Earth clothes, Koriand'r spoke. "You are sure I am dressed correctly?"

The teenaged boy walking several steps ahead of her looked back over his shoulder. His eyes quickly glanced up and down, taking in her appearance, before averting his gaze abruptly.

"Uh, yeah. It's definitely right on you." Elijah told her, "I mean, they're on right. And you look good. Normal. I meant you look normal. Or about as normal as you can when you're nearly six feet tall with bright red hair that reaches your ankles. Not to mention the skin..."

She seemed to pay no mind to Eli's comments on her features, instead once more pulling the shirt back down over her bellybutton. "Then I respect the women of this planet greatly for enduring such uncomfortable conditions."

At the thought of uncomfortable conditions, Koriand'r's mind drifted momentarily. The image of her escape pod surrounded her, the incessant dull tones of the emergency alarms reverberating around the small, metal sphere. The endless black outside the viewpoint broken up every so often by distant flashes of white had been the only sign the pod was still moving forward. The stuffy heat and poorly recycled air seeming to cling to her more heavily over time.

"We're almost there." Eli's voice said from up ahead.

The now familiar sound broke the girl from her memories. Her cheerful smile once more returning as she skipped forward to match Elijah's pace.

"Remind me again where it is you are taking me?"

"Mainly, I just wanted you to walk through some more populated areas to see how much you stood out. If everyone's always staring at you then it'd be hard to do anything worthwhile. But aside from the typical looks girls like you get, doesn't seem like anyone really pays any close attention to you."

Koriand'r tilted her head inquisitively. "Girls like me?"

Eli afforded her another glance before continuing. "But, I figure since we're out here already and things seem to be going fine, that I might as well show you around the types of places I was planning on patrolling. I'm kinda winging this stuff, but I think it's best to stay out of the public eye. Stick to isolated areas with lots of alleys to avoid being seen.

"Probably means we'll be stuck handling petty crime, but whatever." He added. "It's still good work and if we stop even just one mugging I'll be proud. I'm just sorry that this might be a waste of your, uh, talents."

"Do not fret, Elijah. I am happy to be of assistance." Koriand'r rested a hand on his shoulder. "You have treated me very well and I wish to repay your kindness. Admittedly, I also wish to spend more time outdoors and to see more of your world."

Eli gave half a chuckle. "Yeah, I bet. You've been cooped up so long, first in space and now in the warehouse, I'd want to get out, too, if I were you."

Her smile nearly faltered as Eli's words threatened to recall those memories once more. "Yes... I think I prefer the outside."

* * *



Koriand'r kept her head on a constant swivel as Eli led her further into the city. Each new and strange aspect of this world caught her attention and several times her guide stopped and waited for her to continue moving on. Unlike her homeworld, most of what she had seen of this planet so far was developed. So little natural world was noticeable as their journey brought them deeper into the borough. Even the sky was tinged with signs of pollution; the normal light blues that were most prominent during these afternoon hours were streaked with dull greys and pale whites, which made for a stark contrast to Tamaran's own clear horizon.

She was unsure if she was sadder from this realization or more in awe at humanity's industrialization. Either way, Koriand'r had much to keep her thoughts preoccupied as they traveled. Be it the odd, combustion-based vehicles that ferried humans across the ground, the communication devices that seemed to be sources of addiction for most passing by, or the various aromas originating from carts on the street that kept causing her stomach to growl.

Earth cuisine, Koriand'r had experienced, was very rich in taste. Elijah had provided the alien refuge with several delicacies the past week, though she found herself favoring one far above the others. While the dishes known as pizza and fried chicken had been delicious, it was the instant ramen noodles that had captivated Koriand'r's tastebuds. She had been hesitant to ask for more after first savoring the meal as she knew something that satisfying must be expensive, and she had no desire to cause her new friend trouble, but Eli had insisted on bringing her ramen once a day since then.

Her chest warmed as she considered her good fortune. Perhaps most humans were kind, Koriand'r couldn't yet be sure, but instinct told her Elijah was special. She would never take for granted the level of compassion, generosity, and respect he had shown. His acceptance of a stranger, let alone a visitor from another solar system, had been extraordinary. After having been trapped in a metal cage hurtling through space for so long, being greeted by a welcoming individual had been a relief. Koriand'r had little doubt that, had Eli not been there during her landing, she could very well have found herself in a dangerous and stressful position. Elijah's genuine kindness notwithstanding, his role of guide in this strange, new world was also very appreciated.

"Starfire," Eli called out to her, using the English transliteration of her name. "We're here. Or, at least, the first stop."

Koriand'r took in her surroundings. The pedestrians they had walked amongst on their journey had gradually thinned out over the last twenty minutes, and now there was no sign of another living being around. The state of disrepair reminded her of the docks where Eli had provided a temporary home for her. Both had various one and two-story buildings lining the streets that were, for the most part, abandoned. Windows partially boarded up, brick walls marked with colorful words and pictures, often of graphic nature. Weeds and roots erupted from the concrete sidewalks. It looked to her as if this area had been partially forgotten to time.

"This is the meatpacking district," Eli offered up as an explanation. "It's just this small section that looks like this. Most of the rest of it, especially when you get up towards Eighth Avenue, is actually pretty nice. For a while, it used to all be pretty shit, but about twenty-five years ago they started renovating it all. Then a decade ago things really got serious, and if you head just half-a-dozen blocks in either direction it all gets pretty high-end."

He gestured towards the closed businesses before them. "This is really the last of what remains of all the seediness. Bunch of run-down butcheries, failed nightclubs, and the occasional adult store that's still in operation. Though, I think most of them are probably just prostitution rings if you ask me."

Koriand'r simply nodded enthusiastically, her near-permanent smile still etched upon her face as she absorbed all of this information. Most of it she grasped, though she was uncertain how feces could be seen as 'pretty'.

"And this is a place of reprehensible crime, yes?" She asked.

"Honestly?" Eli shrugged. "Probably not. Mostly just junkies here, I'd imagine. Maybe squatters. This is the lowest priority spot I'd want to patrol, really, but I thought it'd be a good introduction for you. Didn't want to start you off with anything too crazy, you know?"

Koriand'r didn't know, but she agreed nonetheless.

"Take a look around, though. Get a lay of the land."

Nodding, she lightly pushed off the ground and began to rise. Her long hair flowed behind her as she cleared the tops of the buildings, seeming to almost shimmer. From her vantage point, Koriand'r could see some distance away. She noticed, just as Eli had described, that not too far away the desolate streets turned into bustling centers of activity. As she climbed slightly higher in the air, something caught her eye. Some movement behind one of the abandoned structures from her peripheral, the vaguely recognizable shapes masked by shadow. She drifted closer, and she could hear Eli below her warning not to go too far.

"Elijah," she called down.

"Yeah?"

"I believe I have seen someone. But..."

"But what?"

Koriand'r hesitated. "Do humans often move through solid objects?"

"Uh, say again?" Eli cupped a hand to his ear, unsure he had heard the airborne woman correctly from his position on the ground.

"If I am not mistaken, I witnessed someone step through a wall and—" Koriand'r cut off abruptly as another shape drew her attention. "Oh, two more are approaching now."

Eli began to step into the alleyway above which Koriand'r was floating. He may be improvising his vigilante plan, but the young man was fairly sure strangers lurking about and displaying potential metahuman powers was a sign of something to come.

"There is a fourth individual now," Koriand'r continued narrating the events as she spied them from a distance. "This one is moving very silently. His stealth technique reminds me of the Okaaran—" Once again she cut off mid-sentence, this time her body stiffening.

"What is it, Starfire?" Elijah's pulse quickened as he noticed her tense up.

"The silent one has assaulted another, what looks to be a child. Elijah, I..."

He didn't wait for her to finish. "Go! I'll catch up."

Koriand'r hesitated, wondering if perhaps she had misinterpreted the events. She was still very much ignorant to Earth customs, and if she were wrong...

Her eyes focused on the now crumpled body of the child on the ground. A young boy who looked to be of similar age to her brother. Two of the other three figures she had previously spotted were standing over him discussing something. The first individual she had seen vanish into a wall still unaccounted for.

"Starfire, go!"

Eli's words broke through Koriand'r's doubt, and she balled her hands. She rocketed forward, the earlier shimmering appearance of her hair giving way to a blazing trail as the energy she channeled flowed out of her unregulated.

She was still more than a hundred feet away, and two dozen in the air, when the first figure returned. Koriand'r had almost missed them as she was focused on the unconscious boy.

"Hey! Hey, you! Get away from him!" The figure called out towards the two assailants.

The man who had moved swiftly without sound earlier whirled around to face the newcomer. He barely seemed to give any consideration to the words as he was already raising his right hand, extending his palm forward. Then, without warning, a blast of red energy erupted forth and consumed the would-be intervener. The beam collided with the wall, instantly melting the brick as if it had been wax. When the energy dissipated, there was nothing remaining of the figure, not even a hint of clothing.

No! Koriand'r's rage echoed in her mind, and she pushed herself forward with intensity, willing herself faster.

She closed the gap within a second, colliding with the powered individual and knocking him off his feet. His partner, another man, screamed and scrambled backward. Koriand'r remained floating several feet off the ground, staring heatedly at the man she just witnessed commit murder.

"You will stand down and surrender this instant." Her eyes glowed a fierce green as she pointed an accusatory finger at him.

The man rolled over, clutching his sore back, as he returned the stare up at his attacker. "No. I don't think I will."

Left-arm thrusting forward with unexpected speed, another burst of red energy launched out, this time completely enveloping Koriand'r.

Maneuvering through the back alleys less than two hundred feet away, Elijah Bradley heard the pained shouting of his friend and urged his body to run faster, desperate to reach her in time.
@Roman

As requested. Continuing from where I had left off after reviewing your first post.

I also want to just make sure you know that none of my comments are mocking you. I'm adding this in after I finished the review, and I make a few jokes about Matt here and there, but they're never meant to mock you as the writer. It's all just my thoughts as I go through each post. I also want to make clear that none of my critiques are against you as a writer.


A N N O U N C E M E N T:

We've begun the process of creating a Worldbuilding Compendium. If you have anything you'd like to submit to help current and new players alike, please pass it along to myself and the other GMs and we'll be sure to update the page.

In other news, I'm going to spend some time this week updating the summary and starting next Sunday, I will be putting aside some time to do a weekly update to it so as to keep on top of it.


Since you wanted feedback on things the GM have done/are doing that are appreciated: this right here.
@Byrd Man

As requested:

First Post:

Aside from minor mistakes and some diction choices - some repeating words and phrases in close proximity that disrupt the flow - I don't have many comments on the writing itself. Really, I'd just suggest as I have for everyone to thoroughly proofread your posts out loud. These sorts of things would be caught most of the time with just that much effort.

It's a nice introduction to your story. Relatively short, but providing us with enough backdrop to keep things appealing. I enjoy the portrayal of Grendel; their quick, brutal efficiency is just what I like to see in villains who prefer getting close-and-personal. Though, I suppose "villain" may not be apt depending on their full motives. Which you teased but left open enough to keep me interested. I find myself more drawn to the '23 perspective as it feels like there's a larger mystery there, and, at the moment, seems to have more of a story to unfold. But, of course, I fully expect that to change as things progress.

I do wish, however, you had clarified what SMP was before using the abbreviation. I know it's the Shanghai Municipal Police based on your character proposal, but these sorts of things should always be established in the actual posts themselves. Especially when it's something that most people wouldn't be familiar with on a general basis.

Second Post:

So, the Shadow is a Jedi. Got it. Mind tricks abound.

Several mistakes throughout that, I believe, stem from past versions of the post. Things that weren't caught during revisions, but stick out when reading through. Again, just vocal proofreading to make sure you get all these each time you change something.

It wouldn't be a Byrd arc without handling controversial, real-world topics.

I feel like you make your posts very streamlined, if that makes sense, in the sense that you keep things brief and to the point in most cases. While this is certainly not a bad thing, it does have the tendency to sometimes make them seem like there's less for us as readers to digest. Though, maybe this is just your preference in an attempt to leave us wanting more.



I'd like to see some more introspection from some of the recurring POVs, but so far it's nothing that detracts from your writing. Just a personal taste. I like how you're balancing the past and present currently, giving each its fair due to keep your readers wanting more.

If it weren't for the slip-ups and repetition, you'd have a really solid flow going on. It's easy to get lost in and appreciate your story, for the most part.

I don't have much more feedback for you at this time as both posts were relatively short in content, and there aren't as many noticeable disruptions in flow here. But as your posts continue I'm sure I'll have more to say.
Blah. I feel like that post was sloppy in places, and I had to take a break midway through to refocus. But, Kitty perspective is up, finally. I know some of you were looking forward to her introduction. Enjoy a shit ton of exposition.

Manhattan, New York City | Present Day

Chapter One | Part Three

Katherine Pryde, Kitty to her friends - not that she had many nowadays - stepped through the exterior wall of the currently closed antique shop. Her lithe frame breaking from the surface of the brick and mortar as if rising out of the sea. Cautiously peering into the alleyway for observers, Kitty consciously willed her body to rematerialize. The familiar, slight and pleasantly numb tingle that danced throughout her body as her molecules returned to normal density gave her skin tiny goosebumps. Even after four years and countless moments of using her mutant ability, that sensation never lessened.

She continued forward, head on a pivot as she walked through the alley. Something has to be here. Kitty told herself. This is where it's all been happening.

For weeks, there had been rumors floating around various message boards and chatrooms regarding the disappearance of children. Unsubstantiated reports from anonymous users about their cousins' friends or vague acquaintances vanishing with little trace around several neighborhoods of Manhattan. Each story that spread around the forums Kitty frequented shared one common theme; the children that went missing were either known or suspected to be mutants. Each passing week contributed another dozen or so of these rumors. At first, Kitty gave them little credit, instead choosing to dismiss them as the typical conspiracy theories that often accompanied any metahuman forum. Over time, however, they grew more difficult to ignore. Especially after the events of two weeks ago.

Mere days after her sixteenth birthday, Kitty, who had long feared her status as a metahuman would be discovered, had looked death in the eyes. A militant, anti-mutant group known as the Purifiers had been making very public attacks on suspected individuals for days. Although she never discovered how they had learned of her, Kitty had found herself in their crosshairs nonetheless. It was only for the intervention of another group, the X-Men, five young mutants themselves, that she was alive to this day.

Seeing the heroic actions of these five individuals and knowing the danger they faced just by going out into the world publicly declared as mutants had struck Kitty. She had spent practically four years in complete isolation and hiding, her desktop acting as the sole window into the outside world. Always concerned over the ridicule, rejection, and threats that Kitty knew would come if her secret were to ever be discovered. Yet those X-Men, most of whom only looked a few years older than herself, ventured forward anyway. For her. For metahumans everywhere. It had both brought her shame and a renewed vigor. And Katherine Pryde had sworn on that day that she, too, would dedicate her life to the cause.

Which brought her here, today, to this alley. After the run-in with the Purifiers and X-Men, Kitty had decided to pay more attention to those circling rumors. After all, if they were true, she knew the authorities weren't likely to put much effort in, if any, to help track down mutant kids. So, channeling her inner sleuth, Kitty had spent hours over several days scouring through anecdotal evidence and narrowing down the most credible information and leads. Then, she had slowly gone through a list of neighborhoods, exploring every back alley, and investigating each closed and abandoned building by using her mutant ability.

It was tedious work, but Kitty was determined. She had no proof but after her encounter with the group, she suspected the Purifiers may be involved. The X-Men had stopped those responsible for the attacks two weeks ago, but who was to say there weren't more. And, if her theory was correct, that meant these children were in danger of a more permanent fate than just abduction.

Which is why Kitty had sought out help. In her years of self-imposed isolation on the internet, she had met and befriended many people. Among them all, though, one always had stood out. Kitty had never learned their real name, nor ever revealed her own, but the individual known as Overwatch was famous among certain circles as an accomplished hacktivist. Overwatch was also an enthusiastic techie who appreciated all things nerd culture, and the two had bonded over these shared interests.

Kitty had never once asked Overwatch anything about their hacking life, aside from a few tips on coding. She knew of and respected every public action Overwatch had ever taken credit for but had made the choice early on to keep that aspect out of their friendship. Until yesterday.

Having grown concerned she wouldn't find any clues in time, Kitty gave Overwatch all the information she had collected during her research. With their resources and abilities, Kitty was sure the children could be found. Or, at the very least, a more specific location where she could search. And, this morning, that location had been delivered via an instant message. A specific section of back corridors in the Meatpacking District, among some of the still-remaining derelict buildings, had been pinpointed by Overwatch. They had mentioned 'accessing' the Sentinel App, which Kitty couldn't help finding sweet victory in. The tool that was being used to report metahuman activity, violating the civil rights of a minority population, would be used to help track down and, hopefully, rescue mutants.

* * *



Kitty had been wandering around for an hour now. She had checked every back alleyway twice by this point, as well as having taken a stroll through every unoccupied building in her path. Aside from a homeless gentleman huddled up against a stoop, whom she had given most of the contents from her wallet, she hadn't come across a soul. It was still early in the afternoon, though, and Kitty had nowhere else to be. She had set her mind to this task, and she wouldn't leave until long after the sun had set.

As she looped around for the third time, Kitty's thoughts once more drifted to her most recent dilemma.

Maybe Sprite? She considered, twirling an index finger around the natural curls escaping from underneath her raised hoodie. Pretty sure those are the ones who are all ethereal and spirit-like. Though, maybe I should brush up on my folklore some more, first. Don't want to accidentally name myself after something hideous.

For the dozenth time that day, Kitty found herself reciting the five codenames of the mutant heroes who had saved her. Cyclops. Eh, too on the nose. Beast. He was nice. Marvel. Or Marvel Girl? Still not entirely sure about that one, I think she was struggling with her hero identity, too. Iceman, she paused to grimace slightly. Having only met him for a few moments, that one had already seemed like a tool to her.

Nightcrawler, though, she continued, recalling the blue-furred young man with the thick German accent. Now that's a cool name. I need something like that. Like... Shroudwalker... or something. She shook her head immediately after it crossed her mind. Not that. Keep trying, Kitty.

She stopped suddenly, turning around and tilting her head to listen. Something was coming this way, faint sounds drifted towards her, reverberating off the narrow corridor walls. As they drew nearer, Kitty could make out bits and pieces of a conversation.

"... Safe here. I took this ... no one's ever really here until ... I felt bad that you had to hide ... be comfortable." Said one voice.

Then, a second joined in. "... You have no idea how much I appreciate this. You're kind of saving my life here."

The words became clearer the closer they came, and now Kitty could hear their footsteps just a corner or so away. She stepped back, quietly, pressing herself against the nearest wall. Taking a deep breath, she slid back another step. This time there was no physical contact, however, as she willed herself to pass through.

This may be it, Kitty thought. Somehow doubt there are that many people going for casual strolls through these parts of the city. Maybe fifty-fifty it's just some assholes screwing around, though. Or looking to get high.

Now standing in a darkened store, sleazy DVDs lining the dust-strewn shelves, Kitty could no longer hear the two talk. She waited, counting to ten, before slowly easing her head forward, back through the wall. Careful to only go so far, she made sure just enough of her head was protruding from the surface to see and hear.

She could now spot the two figures. One much taller, and looking like a college student if not older. His smooth face and styled hair matching his suave demeanor as he flashed a brilliant, charming grin at his younger friend. It was this younger of the duo that nearly caused Kitty to stumble forward completely through the wall. The boy was maybe fifty feet away, covered mostly in well-worn, shabby clothes and partially hidden by the relatively low lighting here. But even still it would have been impossible for Kitty to miss the kid's unique features.

Okay. Alright. We've got green skin. Either that's an out-of-season Halloween costume, or I just found my lead.

Kitty watched as the two continued along, approaching a sharp bend.

Shoot, gonna need to reposition or I'll lose them.

With the pair's backs turned to her now, having passed her hiding spot without incident, she began to continue moving through the wall and back into the alley proper. An abrupt movement to her left, though, caused her to freeze an instant short of revealing herself as a third figure stepped out from their own hidden corner. This one moved with silent haste, rapidly approaching the other two as the boy with green skin began to joke.

If Kitty hadn't been holding her breath, she would have gasped. Raising their right hand, the mysterious newcomer quickly plunged a syringe into the apparent mutant's neck. The kid had no time to react as he collapsed, whatever fast-acting drug injected into his system rendering him unconscious in short order.

What the fuck, Kitty cursed to herself. What the fuck!

The two older gentlemen, as she could now see the third figure had been a man, traded words, clearly familiar with one another.

"Drop it. You did your job, you'll get paid. No more complaining."

Job, Kitty repeated, forcing herself to refocus. These are definitely the assholes taking the kids.

Her eyes flicked towards the boy, crumpled on the ground. He looked young, definitely younger than herself. And he was now defenseless, the two predators looming over his unconscious form.

Kitty could feel her heart beating furiously in her chest, threatening to punch its way out. She was still halfway phased through the wall, less than a hundred feet from the two men.

Closing her eyes, she took a moment to clear her panicked thoughts. This is it. This is what it's all about, Kitty. It's now or never.

Clenching both fists tightly, Kitty Pryde stepped forward, emerging from the building and into her new life.

"Hey! Hey, you! Get away from him!"
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