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@Patient 43Delta first and foremost welcome to the Guild. I hope you have a pleasant stay. Before I get into the sheet may I recommend you go to the Free or Casual sections as for beginners this isn't really the place to be. Moving on.
1) Spelling is not that hard to get checked, while we're not complete snobs in Advanced we do expect a certain level of proficiency at least at using spell check.
2) His names White, what kind of name is that? He's 460.... whaaaaat? Alien, no. It clearly states in the OP first alien contact was with the Devastators. Though I could stop here, I'm going to keep going.
3) Position 'varies upon assignment' so he's just wonderman?
4) I don't quite understand what is going on with the sandwhich.
5) His history is far too short, look at everyone elses those are the lengths that are expected in this section. The idea is we get an idea of who they are, look at how they are for people in their 20-40s even if there were a chance (and there is none) of me letting you play an alien you'd need to write roughly 15+ times as much. You also don't mention how he got involved in the Genesis Project, or how he got to Earth or... pretty much anything pivotal to this RP.
6) Supercomputers aren't actually smart, just capable of processing things quickly. Also EMR? Like electronic medical record? I guess that's a handy alien skill, looking at people and seeing their medical records. Do you see the person or a giant folder walking around?
7) Kudos, these are actual pretty reasonable weaknesses. 1 point to Hufflepuff.
8) Yes, because humanity who has had it's ass kicked by an alien race is going to let one on one of it's few hopes of survival... with camoflauge technology. That suit would have been ripped apart trying to replicate the technology.
9) So, how he not ded? Shoulda been rekt, rip.
10) D'aww. What a nice aspiration, gonna cry.
11) Well y'know. They're not trying to win, hence the Genesis Protocol and whatnot.
My Evaluation (TL;DR):
You're really not ready for Advanced, and I'd recommend going to find a RP in Casual or Free and then first and foremost reading the OP as it's incredibly important to find out what's going on. The only thing in your sheet that relates to this RP is the Devastators. Sheets should be talored specifically to the RP especially when it's something like this set in a new Universe and not based on a fandom.
For cleanliness purposes me or @Heat will contact a mod and have your posts deleted from the Character Sheet Tab, as it's for accepted Character Sheets only and I'd rather it wasn't cluttered. Thankyou for your time.
Name: white. player name: Patient 43Delta
Age: 460
Gender: unknown
Nationality: alien
Race: alien
Position: varies upon assighnment
The small beingc sitting before you takes a bite from its sandwich, as it works on a strange device sitting in front of it. You give it a strange look and it looks up, its big black eyes standing out from its pale skin." Greetings my name is (unintelligibal clicks and whisles), but you can call white everyone else does. Sorry I must return to my duties". It walks down the hall and dissapiers in a shimmer of air.
Background: white didn't always like humans. He used to think they were strange and nasty. But after spending 30 years in a research facility he learned to tolerate their presence. Over time he formed a bond with a scientist named Barbra, who was responsible for learning everything about white. But just like many other bonds he outlived this one and she passed away. For the next 4 years he did not speak until he was giving the oppratunity of freedom, but he had to join the human military. He begrudgingly accepted and has been apart of it ever sense.
Strengths: white is the smartest thing you will ever meet, his intelligence rivels that of current supercomputers. His agility would put Bruce Lee and Jacky Chan to shame. His eyesight is unmatched being able to see in UV, infrared, EMR and normal give him an edge over almost anything.
Weaknesses: white is prone to letting his emotions get the best of him. He is not very physically strong. He is also burned by intense light.
Personal items: white constantly carries around a small device that he flames is for work but is actually for recording sounds, as white is still learning about humans and their worlds. He also wears a complex flight suit made of a special silk that can bend light around it for a comoflage effect, the suit also has a computer pad on each wrist for acceding functions of the suit. He also wears a pair of large thick goggles to protect his eyes from bright light.
Motivations: white wants to know if he is the last of his race, as the last thing he remembers of his people it these so called "devistators" vaporizing his home planet.
Aspirations: white just wants to be accepted for who he is and not what he can do.
Doubts: white is almost certain that the humans cannot win against the devistators, but he has said countless times that "if there is even a sliver of a chance that something will happen, it will"
1) Spelling is not that hard to get checked, while we're not complete snobs in Advanced we do expect a certain level of proficiency at least at using spell check.
2) His names White, what kind of name is that? He's 460.... whaaaaat? Alien, no. It clearly states in the OP first alien contact was with the Devastators. Though I could stop here, I'm going to keep going.
3) Position 'varies upon assignment' so he's just wonderman?
4) I don't quite understand what is going on with the sandwhich.
5) His history is far too short, look at everyone elses those are the lengths that are expected in this section. The idea is we get an idea of who they are, look at how they are for people in their 20-40s even if there were a chance (and there is none) of me letting you play an alien you'd need to write roughly 15+ times as much. You also don't mention how he got involved in the Genesis Project, or how he got to Earth or... pretty much anything pivotal to this RP.
6) Supercomputers aren't actually smart, just capable of processing things quickly. Also EMR? Like electronic medical record? I guess that's a handy alien skill, looking at people and seeing their medical records. Do you see the person or a giant folder walking around?
7) Kudos, these are actual pretty reasonable weaknesses. 1 point to Hufflepuff.
8) Yes, because humanity who has had it's ass kicked by an alien race is going to let one on one of it's few hopes of survival... with camoflauge technology. That suit would have been ripped apart trying to replicate the technology.
9) So, how he not ded? Shoulda been rekt, rip.
10) D'aww. What a nice aspiration, gonna cry.
11) Well y'know. They're not trying to win, hence the Genesis Protocol and whatnot.
My Evaluation (TL;DR):
You're really not ready for Advanced, and I'd recommend going to find a RP in Casual or Free and then first and foremost reading the OP as it's incredibly important to find out what's going on. The only thing in your sheet that relates to this RP is the Devastators. Sheets should be talored specifically to the RP especially when it's something like this set in a new Universe and not based on a fandom.
For cleanliness purposes me or @Heat will contact a mod and have your posts deleted from the Character Sheet Tab, as it's for accepted Character Sheets only and I'd rather it wasn't cluttered. Thankyou for your time.