shylarah — Roleplayer Guild

The girl gave Kensen a small smile and repeated his name to herself as he walked off.  Then she followed Nymira to where dinner was laid out.  It reminded her a bit of when she's gone with her daddy to join his tribe and a bunch of others for Festival, except there the food was spread out more, and people ended up clustered around different pots or platters and talking to old friends or making new ones.  Here everyone sat at long tables, and Amuné was glad she'd come with company, because she didn't really want to have to find a spot alone.  The fare was different, with things she'd never even seen before.  She managed to find out what a lot of it was by asking.  If Nymira or Ethan didn't know, she tried to attract the attention of someone else nearby.  She let Ethan help her with the food, since in many cases she could see but not reach far enough to serve herself.

She did her best not to stare openly at anyone.  Sure, she'd been to the big market a few times, and they got all sorts, but there were far more people here that weren't Muran.  She'd never even been so close to a Divined before, and their large bug-like eyes were both creepy and fascinating.  And they were all mixed together.  It was like what she'd imagined the big cities might be, where everyone came together.  The food was good too, and she tried to remember what she liked best, in case they had any of it next time.

---

The electricity was another surprise.  Amuné had never even seen it before, and when the lights came on she gawked at them and asked questions until it became clear that neither of her travelling companions knew much more than she did.  But she kept looking back up at the artificial lights that somehow illuminated the place without a fire.

It wasn't too hard to find the medical ward, though there were so many people around, and not all of them nice.  The girl smiled and said hello to the nice ones, and just tried to ignore the mean ones.  It was the same old lady as earlier in the ward, and Amuné greeted her with a wave.  "It's better to come to the healer, instead of making them come to you," she said, though her smile faltered towards the end.  It was something her mother always said, and the thought stirred all the worries that had mostly faded over the course of dinner.  She shoved them aside with a little shake, in time to bob an awkward curtsey for the healer.  "I think that's us, yes."  Amuné didn't understand the exchange between him and the old lady -- Gertrude, that was her name -- but she shouldn't ask, at least not until they were done.

Wyth leaned forward when the man came down to his level, sniffing at his face and shoulders.  This man smelled like his man's mate, a sharp and not entirely pleasant scent, but a safe one.  It meant he'd be subject to uncomfortable touching, perhaps painful, since his hip was still bothering him, but he knew he wasn't supposed to snarl or show his teeth.  He made a resigned noise and watched both the helpful man and his girl for direction.  When a table was motioned to, he leaped up on it and stretched out without being told.

Amuné nodded solemnly when asked if she could help.  "Uh-huh, I can help.  Wyth is a good boy, though, and he knows to be good while you're helping.  Isn't that right?"  She gave his ear a scratch and when the table was low enough she climbed up next to the giant cat.  "You're going to change his bandages, right, and check to make sure everything's healing nice?" she asked the healer.  "He's still not putting all his weight on his back paw, but his front one he's using again.  There were a couple other scratches, but they didn't need bandaging and he's not been fussing about any of them, so they're probably fine."  The girl tried to remember what else her mommy usually asked.  "It's only been a couple days, so I can't really tell, but I think he's eating fine.  Certainly he still wants /my/ food, silly boy."  She couldn't think of anything else for healing, so she asked the less important question.  "I told you Wyth's name, but I'm Amuné.  Thank you for taking a look at him."

@PlatinumSkink I'd go with "that", not "this" -- "this", to me, implies it's something present or fairly immediate, and it feels more like a tense/perspective error than anything else, but it doesn't seem particularly egregious.  I would accept "this" here, as a stylistic choice.  I don't remember the specifics of when you use which, but it does make sense.  "This"/"that" is specific, and emphasizes something more than just an "it".  "It" is just a fairly generic sort of word, and if you want to highlight the death, I wouldn't use "it".  In terms of replacement, you should be replacing "that"s, not "this"es, @Terminal.

I am going to surprise you, but I'm not telling you how this will happen.
Put that in past tense:
I was going to surprise you, but I didn't tell you how this would happen.

...Actually, maybe it should be a matter of correcting "was going" to "would"?  Honestly English is rather flexible, and there's always half a dozen ways to say anything and any one of them might not feel quite right to someone but fine to others.

@Cruallassar How many do you have right now?

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the crazy one

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