I've been reading intro posts, part II, Jurassic Boogaloo@Lord WraithSo you really woke up and decided to write a novel, huh? Glad you did, really enjoyed every word of it. Cece feels very fleshed out already, and the way you've written her feels to me like you tick the box of having a good handle on your character - which can honestly be quite hard for at least a post or two, in my opinion. You've shown her heart really well, and in a way that sort of plays on our expectations - both of influencers and of "popular type" girls as well. Both big ticks from me. I can really see her already as how you intend her to be.
Shout out to this line as well -
Yet, in her heart, Cece knew the difference. She felt unnatural; everything was so quick and responsive. At times it was as though her mind was receiving an information overload like her body was processing everything in a heightened state.
Then there was the lack of pain.
For a post with a whole lot of words, those simple sentences say so much. Really keen to see more Cece, she's an interesting character for sure in a cast that seems to already have the entire rainbow of personalities. Wonderful stuff my dude, thank you for this flex.
@Dead CruiserSimilarly, you've really said so much about our Dandy in this first post. What I liked about this post was how you really made feel how difficult it must be to be Dandelion in this whole new world, you took us from darkened confusion, and contemplation in the darkness about this new situation - to this feeling of joy when the lights came on and I loved that touch. I loved their thoughts about stairs; so simple, so effective and it leaves this wonderful lingering image of the character. Just, truly a good example of quality characterisation.
I'll be honest, I wasn't sure I was getting the concept of Dandelion from the sheet alone and I was patiently waiting to read from inside their head. This post really gave me that extra context, and yeah, fully sold on them. Excited for more. Please write some more. Now.
@DejaEvery post so far has such a different energy and Kev's is no different; he might have the fastest shift in pace actually from what I'd read until that point. He's active in the mansion, he's contemplating things that have happened, or things that he wants to happen and that sells his motivation to me super quick. I totally get his vibe as a Gotham boy. I love his routinely meditation, it's such a simple act but makes him feel so human amongst his abilities to be, well, a fireboi.
He feels mature as well, like he's seen a bit more of that life shit that you only do as you creep out of your teens and into your twenties. I like the snappy way you write him, not sure if that's deliberate but it's a super clever move imo. Great work, more Kev please.
@DocTachyonMy dude this post killed me. I was getting Jurassic Park and it ended up at McDonalds, seriously. I love the sudden reveal at the end and that's something that I find so joyful not only as a writer to do it to my readers, but as a reader too. When I'm like "hold on, let me just go back did I read that right?" and then make it to the end to get the punchline. Stellar stuff. Talk about thinking outside of the box, both with the character and with the post as well. At this point, I know anything can happen in this penthouse and I'm here for it.
Sick Ducker,
Captain Uni,
Ezekiel,
DocTachyon,
Antlers,
Eddie Brock,
Pirouette,
BrutalBx,
Supermaxx,
Natty
