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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Bishop
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@Buddha I will. But since it was supposed to be an anbu report, and the files were no more I judged that there won't be any names.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by pkken
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Alright I am done.@Buddha
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Bishop
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
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@Buddha

Worked, thanks!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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I'll begin reviewing the character sheets.

I want this to serve as a warning: I may sound like a snarky asshole, that's because I am a snarky asshole. Don't take my critiques personal. I try to make them, at the very least, entertaining to read. So, I'll use a lot of sarcasm and make fun of things.

If there are issues that must be addressed, I will list them at the end of the review.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by BladeSS4
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Lol, my character is going to be ripped a part by criticism. I already can guess which part will be picked at. Its the one part I was a bit iffy about
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Bishop
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@Buddha Oh please, if I was the top of the ass-holo-meter and you were the bottom of the ass-holo-meter...you would defy logic and automatically rise to the top.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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Review will be in red.


Honestly, I don't think this is worth salvaging. I suggest you start over and try to tone it down a bit. The backstory is very cliché and it reminds me strongly of Sasuke which.. isn't a good thing.

I like the fake techniques. But between your spelling/punctuation and the cliché backstory, I think you should start over. If you do, take the time and pay attention to spelling and punctuation. I can't accept your character as it is now. All in all the jutsu are really good, except for the eight gates. That's too powerful. The backstory is a bit cliché for me, and the combination of Uchiha and Yamanaka and Uchiha doesn't strike me as very well thought out.




Alright I am done.@Buddha


Not bad. Look at the points I made, fix what you think needs fixing and let me know when you edited it. It'll probably be accepted. Also, clean up the CS a bit if you can - remove those things you didn't use like E and D rank techniques and the kekkei genkai bit.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@HillanDo you want to be one of the side branches that is bickering with the main branch, would cause some deep seated hostility between Mū and Ira.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Hillan
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Hillan I'm a writer - Lying's what we do.

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@HillanDo you want to be one of the side branches that is bickering with the main branch, would cause some deep seated hostility between Mū and Ira.


Eh. Dunno, Ira kinda does the whole "I'm the elite" shtick.

Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by pkken
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Alright made the changes, that Sex: none thing went completely over my head , also fixed the custom jutsu discription.
@Buddha
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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@pkken Just want to add that not every 'same rank' will cancel it out. It's just a matter of using logic. If I shoot rocks at your fire dragon it won't do much because it'll pass straight through. But if I use the earth dome technique, it'll shield me. So, use logic.

Feel free to post it in the character bin. :)
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@Buddhai didnt want to make it too too strong for rp purposes but if you insist
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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@pkken It's hard to argue with canonical facts. I.e. if you remember the whole 'water vs. fire' thing.

Imagine if you have a regular fire attack and you stop it with water. Simple right.

Now, I had a character once that could heat his hands up to the point where being close to his hands was enough to scorch your face, let alone if you got hit, you'd have bad burn wounds. Now, if you put water on that, it'll instantly evaporate.

It's just logic, it happens in the anime too. The 'water vs. fire vs. wind vs. earth vs. lightning vs. water' indicators are just that - indicators. They are not rules that define combat. That'd be too simple right.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@BuddhaYeah I understand I just hate being that, "My power crushes everyone else's" kind of guy.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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@pkken That's a good thing imho.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@BuddhaAlright I just deleted the whole cancel out thing except for water style, if the jutsu is powerful enough or it's a shield you can be protected from the dragons.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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@pkken I already gave you the okay dude, no need to edit it any further. Just post it in the characters tab.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion THE ONE WHO IS CHEAP HACK ® / THE SHIT, A FART.

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Hokage is coming along > not entirely satisfied with the concept for her kekkei genkai, so I'll sleep on it.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Taka
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Taka The Last Son of Vegeta

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So gonna be three Sarutobi. Neat. Two related and one not so much related. Super enjoying working on this sheet.
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