Avatar of AdorableSaucer

Status

User has no status, yet

Bio

User has no bio, yet

Most Recent Posts


The Voganids



Location: The dam of Plotina, home of the Nolin Clan.


It had almost been a year since the Awakening Song, the moment the first bjorks opened their eyes there in the Glade of the Singing Maker to find their creator dancing and drinking with a mouth full of song and joy. After the Maker had fallen asleep, the bjorks had waited a long time for him to wake up again - however, they hadn’t stayed long before the forest’s inhabitants grew curious as to what these new creatures were. The bjorks had been lucky, for the Maker’s stupor had ended in a river, which showed them the way to safety. As bears, wolves, tigers and eagles filled the tree line with salivating mouths, the bjorks had all dived for the water and escaped. As eagles had tailed them from the skies, the bjorks had split up to divert the predators’ attention. One small group had headed towards the south, following the river for hours and using the cover of reeds and giant leaves to hide from the demons in the sky. Eventually, the river they swam in tributed into another river, and there, the eagles gave up. This was the Tupil, “the heavenly path”, and the group had followed it until they had reached a section of rocky rapids. Here, they dared not go further, so they gathered at the bank and hid in the shadows of the canopy. Here, they had counted the individuals among them and, by law of strength and size, Nolinya, as the seemingly oldest and largest female among them, declared that she would take them under her wing as the leader.

“This world will evidently not wait for us to adjust to it at our own pace; we have no choice but to play by its rules until we are strong enough to change them as we like!”

The other bjorks, cold and homeless as they were in this new, unknown land, had agreed without protest, and so Nolinya had founded Clan Nolin and declared herself its leader, its boyara. To establish the hierarchy properly, she had had her followers swear fealty to her and her leadership.

“Chip off a piece of both your front teeth.” She had taken stalks of water lilies and twined these into a fibrous thread. “I will string them on this necklace and keep them with me at all times. That way, I will know of your loyalty to me wherever I go, and I will protect you all with my strength and body.” Her eyes had then taken on an accusive shadow and she had spoken, “You will also remember what you gave up everytime you see it - and what more I can take from you should you rebel against me.”

The matriarch’s sudden shift in tone had come as a surprise to most, and for a moment, the jitter of feet and flicker of eyes had indicated that some were about to turn tail. However, a distant eagle scream and the howl of a wolf had shattered any notions of instability in the flock. If Nolinya could keep good on her promise to take them under her wing and protect them, then that was better than taking their chances in the wild, unknown woods… Right?

So then teeth had been chipped and the necklace made. A sharp stone had been passed around the congregation and everyone, old and young, big and small, had offered a chip to the necklace, which Nolinya had dubbed the Clan String. With it around her neck like a mane of yellow spikes, she had climbed upon a rock and pointed to the trees they had just hidden under.

“Now then, my people - we have no time to lose! We have enemies in the sky and rivals in the woods - the water is our only ally here!”

The crowd had looked at the trees - their instincts had told them what to do. Their matriarch had clarified it further so they would commence: “Gnaw them down - gnaw them all down! Toss them into the river and lay them against the rocks! Take branches, dirt, leaves and mud - build us a fortress in the river that nothing can break!”

And so the bjorks of Clan Nolin had set out to construct their home dam of Plotina, which had started as a few logs close to the banks by the rocky rapids. Against these, the bjorks tossed mud, dirt and branches into the water to build a strong foundation. It took days, and many were taken by predators both in the day and night. The simple spears they tried to defend themselves with were hopelessly ineffective against bear and eagle alike, and served better as poles to ground foundations or as fence posts in food storages. After the first week, however, the first den in the dam had been made, complete with entrances to the front and the back of the dam. Here, Nolinya and her closest would rest; the others could sleep at her entrance or in the holes and small caves they had dug on land for the time being.

It didn’t take long, though, before Clan Nolin had suffered too many losses to the forces of nature: A group of foragers had been attached by a territorial stag and two of them had gotten wounded; a lumberjack had lost her life after a falling tree crushed her and instantly killed her; two diggers had gotten into a fight with a furious wood grouse and one had been badly scratched up and unable to work for at least two weeks - if he could stave off the fever from the infections, that was.

The prospects did not look favourably upon Clan Nolin. Nolinya could already feel those same eyes who had looked upon her with desperate hope only a month earlier now glare at her with betrayal and mistrust. She had taken them under her wing, but they were not yet safe - far from it. Nolinya grit her teeth - they didn’t have the bjorkpower. They were simply too few. The boyara sat alone in her den, her head rumbling with thought. She never went to sleep without a wooden stake at an arm’s length away now; she could be dethroned any day.

“Matriarch,” came a greeting voice. Instinct made her reach out her right arm, but she stopped herself as her eyes set on the entrant, a male named Rusan in the process of shaking the water out of his fur. Nolinya squinted suspiciously, but pulled her hand back and took a reserved stance with not a too distant leaping distance to the other exit.

“Rusan. What business do you have?”

The male nodded his head and eyed the other exit. He didn’t comment on it, but smacked his lips and said, “The Wilds test us again, matriarch. A terrible tragedy has occurred: Ververa has been slain by a lynx.”

“A lynx?! What was she doing, the fool?!” snarled the matriarch and dragged a hand down the length of her face. The messenger remained stone-faced.

“She was picking herbs with Bilan and Piot. They made it out safely, thank the River, but Ververa…” He pressed his palm to his chest. Nolinya mimicked the gesture. “... She didn’t make it.”

Nolinya drew a slow breath of genuine sorrow. Rusan closed his eyes and lowered his head. “I offer my condolences, matriarch. Ververa was close to us all, but I know the two of you shared a bond.”

Nolinya pressed her lips together and shut her eyes hard for a brief second, dragging another slow inhale. Then her face turned its own species of stone. “A bond all women share, Rusan - nothing more. Thank you for bringing this to me. Have the gnawers fashion her a suitable log for her journey into the great beyond. Once Crone Olgyi has cleaned the body properly, have everyone gather atop the dam.”

“As you command, matriarch…” Rusan responded, but just as he was about to dive, he turned and said, “Oh, one more message.”

Nolinya looked up. “Yes?”

“An envoy from a neighbouring clan came to us this morning - one Fiodr of the Rod Clan. They have built a dam by rapids of the Dnip. He bid you welcome to his matriarch’s den for a meal and a drink.”

Nolinya squinted one eye and chewed on some air. “I will think about it. Delay an answer for now.”

“As you wish.” With that, Rusan dove back into the hole that led out into the river again. Nolinya sunk into a low seat, front paw tapping her lips in thought and her flat tail tapping at the ground.

“A meal and a drink…”




The dam of Voga on the Dnip was larger than Plotina, but not by much. Where Plotina had only three dens at this point, Voga looked to be sporting at least seven judging by the domed curves along the length of the dam. Nolinya squinted enviously from her place at the edge of the forest. Behind her, a small following waited nervously. Nolinya caught one of them shivering at the edge of her vision and cast him a steeling glare.

“... D-do you think they have c-carrots?” came a small squeak from the back. Nolinya hissed.

“Shut it! Rusan!”

Rusan approached and bowed. “What is your command, boyara?”

“Wait for me here. I will be going in alone. Dig in and keep watch of the woods and the skies.” With that, she crawled out of the woods and into the river, swimming towards the dam. Rusan’s face betrayed not its stony texture, and the Nolins did as they were told. Nolinya, meanwhile, approached the entrance hole under the great dam; she beheld it from below and awed for a moment at its magnitude - one day, Plotina would be just as big, if not bigger. She ducked down under water, swam through the tunnel of sticks and dirt and surfaced on the other side.

“Welcome, friend of Rod. We have been expecting you,” came a kind voice. The inside of the den wasn’t dark and gloomy like her own; no, this one had been lit with some strange, blue lights - Nolinya had never seen their likeness before. As her eyes adjusted to the very faint light, she soon began to make out faces within the room. There were three of them: two males and a female. The female was large and fat, much fatter than her, and laid upon a bed of dow and reeds in the centre of the den. The room oozed with the scents of fresh and fermented roots and waterplants, and a sweet aroma of tree sap laid thick in the air like a fume. Nolinya was almost mesmerised, and her stomach growled like a grown bear. The woman chuckled and beckoned her closer. “Oh, you poor thing - you must be famished! Come, come! The food will be served any moment.”

Nolinya wasn’t sure what made her obey, but she nonetheless moved forward and had a seat in a smaller nest of dow and grass opposite of her. There, bowls fashioned from wood by bjork teeth were laid before her, filled with salads of water plants, mashed roots with herbs and fermented tree sap. She felt her mouth deluge, inciting another chuckle from her hostess. “Please! Eat, eat! It’s not like it’s getting any warmer out. You’ll need the blubber for when the White Nights come.”

Nolinya looked up from her bowls with a skeptical look. “The White Nights?”

“Oh yes,” said her hostess. “An envoy from the Splid Clan to the north spoke of it: They say that the days grow colder, and that a white powder has begun to cover the hills and harden the water. It will no doubt reach us here soon, too.” She nodded. “So eat up, poor you! You’re as skinny as a stick!”

Nolinya hesitated. “I… I do not eat the food given by someone I don’t know.”

The woman burst into a hearty guffaw. “Ho-ho-ho! Oh, my, what a mannerless little rat I am! Oh, my, oh my…” She flicked away a tear. “Forgive me, my dear, I was just so heartbroken by your skinny frame that I completely forgot the most basic etiquette! You must forgive me.”

Nolinya tightened her fists in a defensive rage. “It-it’s fine… You need not talk to me that way. We, we are both matriarchs of equal rank, are we not?”

The hostess smirked from ear to ear. “Oh, but of course, and since we are, it is only fair that we address each other as equals, Nolinya.” She flicked her a wink. “You may call me Luga.”

Nolinya blinked. “... You must forgive me, but I was certain your name would be--”

“Rod? Or perhaps Rodya?” Luga’s smirk broadened. “You must forgive the confusion, but I couldn’t simply name my clan after someone like myself - how selfish would that be? No, I instead named it after our saving grace, the Rod.” She reached out for her own bowl of root mash and started guzzling it down. “You should eat some,” she stressed yet again.

Nolinya felt her belly fill with rage in place of food. “I am not hungry,” she snapped back. Luga’s smirk shrunk and the matriarch rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come now… Can’t you take a little play between friends of equal rank?” Upon studying her souring expression, Luga sighed. “But very well - if you’re not hungry after all, then perhaps I should feed some to the people you have hidden in the woods.”

Before Nolinya could react, she continued, “Oh yes, we’ve seen them. They look as thin as you, if not thinner.” She sighed with exaggeration. Nolinya lowered her stance, but her the steps of the other two males behind her. They closed in in anticipation of what she would do. Luga, however, continued, “Tell me, is food truly that hard to come by where you live? Why, we could feed another hundred poor souls, for sure.”

Nolinya hardened her face. A pang of guilt hammered at her heart - why had she taken charge back then, actually? She was no leader. Luga was a leader - how else had she been so much more successful than her? Why hadn’t she stepped down? Was she afraid of the consequences should the others choose to prosecute her for all the people she had gotten killed? All the burials she had caused?

“Why have you brought me here?” she sobbed weakly. Luga raised a brow.

“Oh, darling, what are you crying for? Why else should I have brought you other than to share with your people our gorgeous bounty - to spread this prosperity to bjorks all throughout the land?” Luga rolled forward so she sat upright, tail between her legs. She reached out a paw and gently lifted Nolinya’s chin. The smaller female flexed every muscle in her face, but the tears escaped anyway. Luga tooted a sympathetic “n’aaw…”

“It-... It’s been so… So hard,” Nolinya sobbed. Luga nodded with understanding.

“Oh yes, my dear… But you are safe now… You are all safe.”

With that, the Nolin Clan abandoned the dam at Plotina and were accepted into the Rod Clan, attracted more by the promise of food and shelter than their master’s orders. Nolinya was still boyara, but even she had to admit that there was no equality in rank between her and her new chieftess: Luga took the title of bolshaya, grand matriarch, and united the two clans as a tribe named the Voganids. Work soon continued, though it was the great dam Voga they were expanding.




@Scarifar We are speed.

Jiugui

Missed the Mark, Sort Of



The trajectory he had taken had been calculated, but man, Jiugui was bad at math. Aiming for the tropical centre, he had completely missed the mark - and it had been in the absolutest sense of ‘completely’. He had missed his target by nearly a hemisphere, no less than five thousand kilometres, crashing through the atmosphere of the icy north and smashing into a frozen lake, or was it a sound? He had no idea, for he was deep underwater, trapped in an ocean of newborn kelp. The drunk man squealed and screamed for air, until he realised, quite quickly, that he could breathe just fine. Taking a moment to collect himself as best he could, the drunk snailed his way into an approximation of a swim (with one hand holding his cup, naturally) and crawled for the surface.

HHUUUUUUAAAAAAAGH” he gasped upon breaking the surface, water and wine splashing everywhere like a sudden rain. The man offered some petty coughs as he flopped his way to the nearest beach, a rocky bed of pebbles leading to a thick, dark forest of conifers just as deep as the water he swam in, if not deeper. Hauling himself onto the beach, he rolled over on his back and groaned from the bottom of his throat. His skin was red with wine and cold, and his white robes were soaked so they stuck to his skin and turned a pinkish hue. Drawing in a deep breath, the man attempted to sit up. His fat belly got in the way, so he tried again; once more, he failed. Fed up with the limitations of his physical form, Jiugui had the wind sweep him from the ground and onto his feet, and the wind answered. The drunk was swept to his feet, which naturally had no balance and made him stagger backwards off the beach and straight into a tree.

SMOCK!

The god shook his head, lazy eyes gazing at the imprint he had made in the bark - an egg-like shape with four limbs sticking out like branches on a bush. He chuckled to himself.

“Rad..”

But then he looked up - the tree just, it just kept on going. He turned around. All around him, trees grew tall as the sky. And they quivered…

For between them walked giants - creatures larger than anything Jiugui had ever seen since he had gazed upon his colleagues in the Sunlight Temple, which to be fair was also the only other things he had ever seen. Either way, the god stood struck by awe, admiring the majesty of a bypassing mammoth and an overhead flock of colossal bats that blotted out the sky. The bass of thundering feet was ever-present around him, and the howl of giants danced on the wind like a powerful song. The drunk god burst out into laughter and raised his self-filling cup.

”Zenia mush shee thish! Whadda place to PARDY!”


He hammered down shot after shot and eventually invited some cave bears to join him. The bears got sloshed with him and invited the mammoths to join, who were reluctant at first, but couldn’t say no for longer than it took to ask thrice. By midnight, Jiugui had lit a small bonfire, and all the forest’s creatures had come to share in a joyous feast with wine, song and poetry. The newborn moon was at its peak at this hour and a section of the crowd that was not busy dancing or diving to the bottom of the punch bowl had gathered by the fire, where Trunks the Mammoth had knocked over some trees and formed a stage. There, Scarred Fur the Skald rose to her hind legs with some trouble - not even her fatty bear form could handle as much wine as Jiugui had poured her - but she pressed on and growled for the masses a kvad for the occasion:

”Growl-rurr barr ryaaargh urr huarr byaarr;
Roooohr yewp gorr shrr rrrhherh drrrar yeeep;
Drrrr hrashr growlerr ror-aghr darr;
Durr rarr-krrr khorr garr-bark kheeep,”


Many in the crowd shed tears, Jiugui included. “Magnifishent,” he whimpered. “Apssoludly mahnifffishent.” A nearby male stepped up from the crowd, head bowed in submission as he staggered over to sniff her from behind. Scarred Fur growled decisively - the male had earned no such permission. Some other males stepped up to challenge the first - Scarred Fur’s poetry had gotten more than one stud in the mood. Jiugui exchanged a smug smirk with a nearby bat, who only snickered back in ultrasound. The god stood up, falling onto the helpful trunk of a nearby mammoth who pushed him back up, and clapped his hands.

“Now, now, dish urrp! dish is a pardy, guysh!” He staggered over to the very angry, very drunk bears, and clapped them all on the shoulders. “Dish is no time to fiiiiiiiiiiighd, righ’?” He conjured forth some more wine cups in their paws. “Come now, have anozzer wizz me! Zhree, two, one - ganbeeeeeeiiiiiii!”

The animals all roared their own sounds to toast and drank with the drunk god. This prevent conflict for all of four seconds, for as soon as the wine was drunk, one of the males slapped the other with a clawed paw. The beaten male keeled over on the spot, but more from the alcohol than the damage, it seemed. The assailant had little peace to balance out the weight of his blow before the third male attacked him. Then a dire wolf, face fur sticky with coagulated wine, joined in and jumped on the first male’s back, biting down on his back fat. Then came a dire boar to break up the fight, but he tripped over a passed-out sabre tooth tiger and straight into the drinking bowl of four giant eagles, who all flexed their wings in a drunken fury and screamed off the top of their beaks. A wooly rhino got into a furious debate with a colossal moose, probably over grazing rights or something, and got into a fight. Some reindeer who had come late all turned at the entrance point, and most of the animals who hadn’t had enough to drink yet all decided that now was the time to leave. Birds kicked off; grazers skipped; hunters ran; and Jiugui, well… Jiugui laid passed out in the centre of the fight scene, drunk as a skunk.




The night had turned to day and the drinking god opened crusted eyes to stare into the white laser of the orb of death in the sky. He groaned in pain and rolled over - the moss was a kinder sight. He felt cold - particularly running down one leg and puddling around his calf and downwards. A drum played a war dance in his head, and the thought of a cup of water made him both sick and thirsty at the same time. Oh yes, this was a familiar feeling.

“Uhm… Lord? A-are you alright?”

The bulbous man blinked at the moss again, then lifted up his cup to give it a blink as well.

“Be-behind you, milord.”

The man groaned and mustered every muscle in his body to roll around. It was then that his sight got bombarded by a myriad of images he had no idea how to react to: In place of his brief, fragmented memory of yesterday’s forest, there was now a river where he laid (well, he had three quarters of his leg in it, anyway); many of the gigantic animals had left, and in their place were small rodents, insects and birds who had all showed up to inspect the man; and most notably were three taller rodents - much taller, but not even close to as tall as even the smallest of last night’s giants. They also seemed rodent-like, with huge incisors at the tip of their upper jaws. They sported thick brown coats of fur, two arms with little hands and two legs with large feet, and a flat, leathery tail each, which laid flat against the ground like a single flipper. They all looked concerned to different degrees, but the one at the front seemed the most eager to speak:

“M-milord, how are you feeling?”

The drunk god squinted suspiciously and pushed himself up to a seat. He blinked at the trio, then down at the small birds and animals, then at his leg in the river (which was being taste-tested by schools of curious fish) and then finally at his surroundings: It wasn’t just the woods, but his divine sight could see that lakes had appeared all over, connected by rivers and surrounded by marshlands - a great network of lakes, rivers and swamps had spread throughout the entire region. The drunk god asked the first question that came to mind:

“... Where am I…?”

The first of the trio piously answered, “Y-you’re sitting in the Glade of the Singing Maker, milord.”

The drunk god shook his hand with a large, lazy movement as though trying to get his wet and sloppy sleeve to pull away from his sweaty skin and fall down to his elbow. His cup materialised in the respective hand once his clothing obeyed and the cup filled with plain water. “Where’s, uh, where’s this glade?”

“Why, couldn’t say, milord. This land’s as new to us as you are to it.” A pause. “I-if I may be so bold to presume,” it quickly added.

The drunk god grimaced curiously at the answer, but let it slide. “Alright. Who’re you lot, then?” Ssssssssslurrrrp, went his lips thoughtfully on edge of the water cup.

“Zwiéka,” said the first.

“Vislof,” said the second.

“Mosha,” said the third.

The drunk god nodded. “I see. And, uh, what’re you doing here, you said?” Sssssssluuuuurrrp.

“We were created by the Singing Maker, milord. There were loads of us last night, but most have gone off to settle down, I suppose.” Zwiéka turned around and produced a small root from a tiny pile a step away. “Want a carrot, milord?”

The drunk god accepted. Ssssssluuuuurp... CRRRRRRRUNCH, rrrorrp, rrrorrp, rrrorp, glllump. “I see. And, uh, who’s this… ‘Singing Maker’ of yours?”

Vislof and Mosha looked at one another. Zwiéka twiddled his hands anxiously. “W-well… That’d be your honourable self, milord.”

Sssssluuuuu-

The drunk god lowered his cup. His gaze turned away for a minute and his lips pursed with thought. After a moment of silence, Zwiéka tried again: “Milord?”

“I see,” replied the god curtly. The trio exchanged sheepish looks. “I get it now,” he added. It was madly obvious that he didn’t get it at all, but he did his best to look wise as he asked with whatever authority he could muster: “So, uh, do tell - what exactly happened last night?”

Once again, Zwiéka pulled her shoulders into a humble shrug. “Couldn’t say, milord. We don’t think we’ve existed for long enough to know much at all, really.” The other two nodded along.

Jiugui squinted. “So you’re saying none of you actually know what happened here?”

“Not a clue, milord. We came to life and, well, there were you, singing and dancing with all the joy in the world. Much more, we couldn’t say.”

Jiugui furrowed his brow. To think that the world changed so radically around him, and neither he nor his supposed creations would ever know what had happened.



“Milord?” asked Zwiéka to the contemplative god, her dark brown fur glistening with moisture like that of a, well, a beaver.

The god snapped back to reality. “Huh? Hmm?”

“Not meaning to pry or anything, but what will you be doing now?” The three otters gazed upon him with anxious, yet obviously well-awed eyes. The drunk god scratched his head and looked around.

“Well, uh, I don’t know. Guess I’ll look for Zenia or something.”

“Who’s Zenia? Is she like you, milord?”

Jiugui shrugged and drank some more water. “Uh, yeah, I guess.” He got up with some effort and had a sniff of the air. He scrunched his nose and looked down at the trio. “Oh, what’s that smell?”

Vislof shrunk together and tapped his finger together. “Sorry, I let out some castoreum.” Zwiéka clapped him supportively on the shoulder.

“Sorry, milord. We’re still getting used to life.”

Jiugui pursed his lips. “Right. Well, I’m off.”

“S-s-so soon?!” Zwiéka protested. Jiugui rubbed his nose clean.

“Uuuh, yeah, I mean… Most of you’s already gone off to settle down. I, uh, I think you’re already doing quite well for yourselves.”

The trio exchanged some looks. “I mean, that’s fair, but…”

“See? You’ll be fine! Now toodles!” With that, the drunk god skipped off into a sprint, travelling to the edge of a horizon in the blink of an eye. The three beavers were left to exchange looks again and Mosha said to Zwiéka:

“Do you think he would have liked to know about the clan dispute?”

Zwiéka sighed. “Well… I guess he won’t now. Come on, let’s head back.” With that, the Thousand Lakes region was made, and its first settlers, the bjorks, began their history as its pioneering sapients.

Not even a day had fully passed, and already the first trees were beginning to fall. The bjorks would leave their mark on the landscape in a most literal sense with time.





Jiugui

Making Friends; Making Enemies

Poking @Enzayne@WrongEndoftheRainbow@Bright_Ops@Lauder



Excessive consumption of alcohol may dull the senses and cause balance issues. Jiugui learned this early on, for it took him a good minute to get to his feet properly. A stone toss away came terrible noises and thunderous explosions - steam filled the heavens and some lady deafened explosions in the ocean with shouts about salt or something - it was all very bizarre, thought the creature. Still, he bumbled along out of the pavilion until he came upon a colourful court of kingly custodians, auras awesome and mighty like the forces of a hurricane. In his admiration and stupor, the little creature hardly noticed the fancy, leather-bound book to his left. Not thinking twice, he blurted out,

“Oh, thish a guest list? Shorry, lem’me jussh…” Before anyone could really react to him, the bumbling man had already signed his name - except it wasn’t his name, and the page was not blank.

Over a section detailing that all the forces of earth and heaven should work in harmony to ensure the stability of creation and existence, Jiugui had scribbled a terrible gibberish that, if you squinted closely, looked like a burnt snake, possibly a salamander. Either way, that did the deed, and the rain and earth on Galbar shook violently - on parts of the planet, the earth under water quaked and cracked, creating the first volcanoes; on other parts, the rain clouds clotted together into mighty hurricanes that ravaged (luckily) nothing yet. Docile against the might of gods, these forces could become a problem for mortals down the line. Oh well.

Jiugui, however, was busy studying his signature. He decided that he was unhappy with it, turned the page and signed again:

Jiugi waz here.”


He tapped his chin with his brush. Slap, slap, slap.

“Alcohol iz alwayz good!”


And so it was that mortals, beasts, plants and all, if they found alcoholic fruit, beverages or other things, would not shy from consuming it - some might even enjoy the taste in later days, who knows!

Once properly signed in, Jiugui staggered into the centre of the court, where the turned to the most magnificent thing the room, no doubt interrupting loudly the six-legged horse spouting on and on about using the palace’s men for weird experiments. The man tossed himself into a kowtow on the floor, spilling all the wine in his cup.

”Oh, MIGHZY MASDER ‘AV HEAFEN ‘N EARZ!”


There came a small burp. “Oh, ‘zcuse me…"

"Your creashun av’us hash been… Susha pleasurr. Your HAMBLE sev'vant raises his CAPP to ya, mighzy one! Ganbeiiiii!


And so the fat man slammed down the contents of his tiny porcelain cup (well, after rematerialising some more in an instant). Afterwards, he growled a small brrrrooooiph, sorry… and turned to the horse. “Shorry, I intezzupted you, sirr, cazzy ohn…” His eyes then affixed to first the cartwheeling goddess who seemed to look exactly like another, sterner, scarier goddess, then to the absolutely awesome doomsday that seemed to last only for a second. Or did it happen at all? Jiugui wasn’t sure, honestly, but as his brain short-circuited when he (surprisingly) remembered the cartwheeling lady. Sticking both arms out backwards like the winds of a bird to balance his forward-bending torso, the man engaged in a waddling jog after her, cackling all the way.





Jiugui

The Wine Demon | The Unquenchable Thirst | The Rose-Cheeked God


Thunderous cacophonies of creation blasted into reality all around, and the scene of existence had in the span of minutes gone from nothing into everything - water, earth, heat, cold, magic - forces of the physical world accompanied by the forces of the cosmos: knowledge, luck, fortitude, destruction and souls. At the centre of it all - Him; the Celestial Master, the Lord Who Towers of All. The Cosmic King had spawned with such magnificent power this roster of retainers, this society of stewards - drizzling the world in rain and penning the words of Creation itself. Life - life was finding its way.

It was then that a puddle, not too far from the ruins of the garden fountain, was exposed to the sweet dust of a godly shard; that sugar in the air that blasted off from creation and seasoned the soil with holy spirit.

That was enough.

The water accepted this candy of Creation and the two fused into a thin syrup that immediately sported a small, brown mustache of foam - an eyeball of yeast blinked up at the rain. It had little time before it would be flushed away. It decided to do something about it. So the yeast spun itself a whirlpool in the puddle and flushed itself down into the soil. There, it quickly found exactly no one, and it couldn’t accept that - where was the joy in being alone? So the yeast, immediately changing its mind, tunneled back up into the air and became a cloud. The cloud thickened, but the rain from above kept cutting through it and preventing it from coalescing properly. The cloud, rather annoyed at this point, floated for cover, finding it in the ruins of an ancient pavilion. There, the cloud could finally gather into a clump of foam, and the clump spat out a creature - a man, red of skin, small of growth and round with fat.

The creature, clothed in a white silk robe and hatted with a black futou, crashed into the pavilion floor, but spared no muscular expense and turned the clumsy landing into a dexterous roll, ending in a lying seat, a cup spawning in his right hand as if by instinct. With his cup in his grip and a sip to his lip, he, Jiugui, spoke the first drunk poetry the world had ever heard:



Thousand years of brewing art
Hidden in the Lian Spring, art!
Wine from poets’ gardens flows,
Tastes which will undo all woes.


He then looked around.

“Wait, where ish everyone?”





@Zanavy Consider your proved apped, Mystique. Welcome aboard!
@eemmtt@Birdboy@ArmorPlated Hi, y'all! Sorry, I beg your most humble forgib. The Sauce is a slow-running goop, especially in the head. You are all of the accepted lot!

Crowley's giving me them World of Darkness vibes. I luv it. :D
@Eviledd1984 All good! Welcome aboard!
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet