Altered Tundra — Roleplayer Guild

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Sounds amazing! Welcome ^_^

@Fallenreaper

Accepted. Looks much better than the first time, good job. Post him in the Character bin please.

@Innue I'll add that to the OP or the second post in a bit.

@Altered Tundra one thing to note, is seals generally don't look like things. So having tattoos is fine, but when you describe the seals in the techniques, they're probably not going to look like the tattoos.

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It'd just be "and the angrier he got."
Also, he taught as a Jounin sensei with that attitude and his unstable nature. Genmyou would NEVER allow that with normal students. The only students he'd sent to Jaakuna was the rowdy ones who didn't care for authority and needed to be taught a lesson. He wouldn't send them to Jaakuna for long either.

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No. Max it can be three times the cutting power, but that's ALREADY a helluva lot. To obtain that you need to be channeling chakra through the blade, otherwise it's totally unreasonable.

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It has all the strength of an actual lightning bolt, but only causes pain? Alt, you do realize that that much electricity over the course of even a MAXIMUM of several seconds of activation would kill a human. So yeah, change that description and state that it just causes pain and allows you to "puppet," the victim. It'll still hurt both of you, but now it won't logically kill either.

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You might want to establish what his base and current "life span," is meant to be. If you're going to use the whole "it saps months of his lie," paradigm, then it needs to be quantifiable.

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Grammar sin counter: 2. Please edit these.

You mean 'Ethereal'.

'instant'.

Also I see you using apostrophes wrong =_=

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This technique also requires water release, which Jaakuna doesn't have.

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Naruto was only able to make so many NORMAL shadow clones because he was both an Uzumaki AND a Jinchuuriki. Jaakuna is neither of these things and you stated his chakra was only "moderately large." Which I take as meaning "Between 'above average,' and 'large chakra reserves.'" So yeah, making 30 would probably just tire you out completely. I'll allow a total of 10 in a given battle and maintaining more than 4 at once is a no-no.

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Unless he charges the technique before release, it will expand outwards from him at 2 meters per second (that's 6 feet) and its maximum size should be a 10 meter radius (that's 20 meters diameter, which is 60 feet).

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When separated from the user, the effected object will lose its charge after it has been separated for X amount of time. The time can depend on how much chakra he puts into the weapon. If he puts, say, .5% of his chakra into it, it'd probably last maybe 1 minute. So 2 minutes per 1% of his total chakra pool.

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How many crescents are released, you said "a few," that's too vague. Also, how long does the "temporary paralysis," last for the average shinobi? Given the rank of the technique I'd say 3-12 seconds depending on chakra control and other factors sounds reasonable.

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How fast does it move through the ground?

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Mmm, electrical and lightning based attacks won't be a 1:1 exchange. Meaning that X amount of lightning will not give him the same amount of chakra due to the potency difference.

Different rank lightning techniques that hit would give him different amounts of chakra, so you'd do well to figure out how much chakra. I'd say that a D rank technique would give him about .5% of his chakra back. A C ranked technique would probably give him 1.5% of his chakra back. A B rank technique would probably give him about 9% of his chakra back. An A rank technique would give him 18-22% of his chakra back. An S rank technique would give him 50% of his chakra back.
@yoshua171

Okay, I fixed what you requested of me to fix

Removed the following
-Jaakuna's sensei history
-Wave of Inspiration

Hopefully the changes please his royal GMness. :)
Altered Tundra Member

amaze amaze amaze!

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