Recent Statuses

3 mos ago
Current Caramel truffle flavored coffee. Lots of sugar, moderate milk.
4 mos ago
Oolong tea? Oolong tea.


Heyo. I'm Azer, and I'm a deeply flawed person with ADHD, depression, and autism. But I'm working at it. Just be sure to shoot me a message on Discord (Azereiah#9054) if I disappear from an RP. Sometimes I need a bit of a push.

I love writing lore. A lot. You ask me for a world, you give me a few specific parameters, and I can give you the backstory going back thousands of years on why it is how it is, and how the physics of that world work. Background details are my thing, and background details make roleplaying easier and more consistent.

Most of my characters are at least partial self-inserts, and tend to be inspired by people I know well. I have a lot of trouble with writing proper "villains" because of this. I also really enjoy exploring issues of gender, personal identity, nationality, wealth, and mental disorders. Drama, low fantasy, hard(ish) sci-fi, etc. make me happy. I like post-apocalypse scenarios and war stories too. But what makes me really happy? Cute, sappy romance stories. <3

I don't do most fandom stuff unless it's a universe I can honestly see OCs working well in, and I never do 1x1s.

Most Recent Posts

@FlitterFaux@Avant@Etranger@Rekaigan@hagroden@HokumPocus@Queentze@Jay Kalton@Kaesus

Entrance ceremony to Cafeteria transition complete. I'll be moving along to the main campus tour and dorm assignments in two days. If you want to have a full conversation or something, I'd recommend hashing it out with eachother in Discord's roleplay rooms. Otherwise we'll be stuck here for a while, and I'd like to move forwards to Day Two's placement exams as quickly as realistically possible, since that's where the meat of the RP really starts.

Kaesus, get on Discord and message me regarding your character sheet, eh?
A Cold August Day

9:20 AM, August 6th, 1210PW. 36 Degrees Fahrenheit. Raining.
BREAKING NEWS: Administrator Glen Bauhem has been found guilty of twenty-two counts of sexual battery, rape, and blackmail, following Mordhaben's Institute for Aspiring Mages administrative intern Boorkat Malkin coming forward with compiled evidence. All victims and witnesses were guaranteed protection by Mr. Malkin personally, as well as the protection of the Imperial Military Police, and testified under oath before the Czar in private prior to the trial. Glen Bauhem's attempts at pleading incompetence due to mental illness failed, as Boorkat Malkin provided more than adequate documentation regarding his stable mental state and adequate performance as Administrator. Czar Willamus the Fourth has stripped Glen Bauhem of the Czarine Star, and a military tribunal has sentenced Glen Bauhem to 170 years in the human male section of the Unoctocan Imperial Prison. The role of Institute Administrator remains empty pending the election now being held by the university's Staff Council. - The Unoctoc View, July 12th, 1207PW.

Once Malkin's speech concluded, Professor Katarina Volkova stepped to the podium to make her announcement. "The cafeteria is currently open and serving a later breakfast than usual on account of the opening ceremony. Fighting is prohibited indoors, and magic usage is to be limited to low-yield output for study purposes only, except for during sanctioned activities in classrooms or in otherwise unoccupied research laboratories. All new students should follow me to the cafeteria in an orderly manner."

The Professor turned and entered the administrative building, beckoning to the students assembled in the courtyard. This time, the Chimera and human students were more mixed, though there were still outlying cliques in each group banded together around the outskirts. Even the sight of a first-generation Chimera acting as administrator wouldn't be enough to break people out of their preexisting friends' circles.

Upon entering the Administrative building, the procession passed an information kiosk - currently empty - along with a series of windows on either side of the hallway with closed metal shutters over them. A posted sign listed the hours as '700-1500 M T W Th F, 1000-1300 S Su'. Volkova spoke up - though the official school tour hadn't started yet, she still took it upon herself to point out important resources on the way to the cafeteria.

"This is the Institute's front desk. We handle financial aid, paperwork, class scheduling, and advisory scheduling here for the most part, but the front desk also handles filing of complaints, requests for dormitory changes, class changes, and the like. The round kiosk here offers a list of temporary and part-time jobs available to students at the Institute, as well as general directions. If you ever get lost or find yourself in need of some extra money, speak to the kiosk attendant. The red window on the right handles Arena Challenges for dealing with personal conflicts in a more 'undignified' manner, as well as handling requests for private usage of the Magical Research Laboratories."

Further along, they came to a large, circular room, with smooth marble tiled floors and four hallways leading in each cardinal direction. The hallways were huge and, save for the one the group had just been in, were decorated with darkly lacquered wood, office windows, and off-white wallpaper, with electrical arc lights on the walls designed to look like older style gas lamps. The northern hallway was much shorter and featured an enormous pair of beautiful double-doors, with stained glass images of an old mage writing upon a scroll, and a young mage carefully examining a colorless flask atop a bunsen burner. Both figures were wearing stereotypical wizards' hats - old, grey, and crumpled things with their tall points flopping over from age. Along the northwest and southeast walls of the curved room were a pair of large spiral staircases leading downwards into a well-lit circular chamber with still more hallways, and the more artistically inclined students might have taken note of the dragons' head decorations carved into the ends of the darkened safety rails, which linked with the stairs' banisters.

"Down those staircases, you may find the records chambers. For your purposes, the Research Records Room may be used to find duplicate copies of the results of all verified studies and tests performed in our laboratories. Other rooms are off-limits to undergraduate students and non-staff, and require specially tuned keys to access. The Cafeteria is through the doors to the North and in the building across the street."

Volkova led the gaggle of students further down the hallway, where the doors with the stained glass mages opened on their own. A pair of bearded old men in dark grey hooded robes hurried in, clutching huge stacks of paperwork, one of which visibly had both coffee stains and dried blood on it. The two shuffled down the stairs to the records chambers. Outside, the crowd came to a second courtyard, similar to the one on the south side of the building, though this one opened up to a wide cobblestone street, across which many brick and stonework buildings were visible. Directly across the street was a particularly unimpressive building of red brick - short, squat, and devoid of any and all external decoration beyond the doors which were just barely large enough to permit the tallest attending Chimeras and Monsters to pass.

Volkova led the crowd through these doors, where a staircase and a wheelchair ramp led downwards into a central path splitting what resembled a large, circular food court, separated into four quadrants. The ceiling was high enough for large students to fit, though it wouldn't necessarily be comfortable for them, and human-sized students would feel right at home. The northwest quadrant featured foods from Flynenhael, the northeast quadrant featured foods common to the Unoctocan Empire, the southwest featured foods from Airelosia, and the southeast featured foods from other, more exotic places - including a small selection of dishes from Deadlands monster colonies, and some foods from overseas nations and island countries. Overall, the selection was quite impressive. In each quadrant were pathways along the edges in front of the kitchen stalls, along with several round cafeteria tables with fixed-position wooden stools.

"I'm sure you'll all find something to your liking here. Grab some trays and food, sit somewhere, socialize if you wish. Remember the rules regarding fighting and magic usage. We'll be heading on a tour of the rest of the campus in a half hour, followed by lunch at 1300, or 1:00 for those of you not used to the 24 hour clock, and finally dormitory assignments. I'll make an announcement when it's nearing time to head out, and when it's time for the tour. If you don't join me for the tour, don't blame me if you get lost every day for your first week and can't find your dorm."
@FlitterFaux@Avant@Etranger@Rekaigan@hagroden@HokumPocus@Queentze@Jay Kalton

Entrance ceremony post is up. Need an opinion: How far forward should we jump? Breakfast, school tour, dorm assignments? ...Further?
A Cold August Day

9:05 AM, August 6th, 1210PW. 34 Degrees Fahrenheit. Raining.
Mordhaben's Institute for Aspiring Mages has recently been accepted as a military training ground, in accord with the Mordbauvin Territorial Acquisition Act in conjunction with the Airelosian Gulf Conflict Papers. Administrator Glen Bauhem, known for his dedication to his students and his nation, has been awarded the Czarine Star trophy for ending the conflict between the territories surrounding Mordhaben's Institute and the rest of the Unoctocan Empire. No longer shall nationalist terrorists use the Institute's presence as their call to action. - The Unoctoc View, January 22nd, 1205PW.

Enraged chirping, whistling, and clicking could be heard from beyond the main door of the Administrative Building. Human voices accompanied it, and soon enough, the door slammed open. Boorkat Malkin, the enormous red first-generation Lobster chimera serving as administrator, stomped out, chirping, whistling, and throwing extremely rude gestures backwards towards the hallway.

Just next to the hulking chimera and his translator walked a woman with fiery colored hair and red eyes. She wore a decidedly non standard yellow and black jacket over her military uniform and currently had a hand clamped over her own mouth and her other arm over her stomach. It was hard to tell if she was trying to stifle laughter, tears, or intense nausea. Anyone with prior knowledge of the Institute might recognize the woman as professor Rayna Denzel, a relatively recent addition to the staff, but one that had earned a reputation in the few years she had been teaching.

Behind the pair were two others, including Professor Katarina Volkova wearing her signature outdated Mage Corps uniform and the various decorations for tours completed, information gathering medals, and the like. The other was a rotund man in a blue administrative military uniform with the blazing red epaulettes and white-and-gold pickelhaube of the higher-up ranks of the Unoctocan Empire: Brigadier General Helmwulf, famed for his actions as a naval commander during the Airelosian Gulf Conflict. His face was slowly shifting towards an ever deeper purple, with a murderous scowl beneath his large waxed moustache.

"So why don't you take that Calvo-blasted letter and shove it down your blowhole, you whale. And yes, you may tell the Czar I said that. While you're at it, tell him I told him to go eat a brainshroom, too," Boorkat's granddaughter shouted in translation as she appeared from around the side of the open door. Boorkat's enraged clicks and whistles were even louder with the door open, and at those words, Rayna could no longer contain herself and burst into raucous laughter.

"Oh, you can be assured that I will tell the Czar, and he won't stand for this! I'll have you removed from your position for sedition, Malkin!", the General cried, somewhere on the very edge of losing his temper in the most spectacular way. His eye was twitching, and he was shooting his eyes towards the laughing Rayna, herself a military officer (though not under his command), and back towards Malkin. Boorkat's 'speech' (if one could even call it that) quieted down to a more serious and threatening tone, and his granddaughter followed suit. "I am the Czar here, lardwagon. So stay out of our way, keep your little mudhole training camps off of our lawn, stick to the hours agreed upon in the initial contract, and remember: if your people interfere in our operations beyond our old contract terms, they will be removed. By force if need be."

At this point, Brigadier General Helmwulf's face was twitching upwards into a raging snarl, and he was just about to fire off a retort when Boorkat slammed the administration building door shut in his face. Professor Volkova was less than interested in their quarrel: her service with the military was over after her retirement in 1207PW. But she did quickly throw a hand towards Rayna, who by this point was rolling on the floor laughing, and via magic cut the noise out. Boorkat Malkin turned away from the door and approached the podium at the top of the steps as though nobody had seen his argument with Helmwulf. Volkova stood back, and Rayna quickly joined the crowd in the courtyard.

He adjusted the microphone stand and twisted it towards his granddaughter, Katrice Malkin, who was serving as his translator. She was on the younger side - older than most of the students, but not quite old enough to be staff - and was wearing a black suit, which opened downwards into coattails that only barely covered her enormous crustacean tail. She was visibly far more humanoid than Boorkat, but still more crunchy and insectoid than most would find to be anything other than 'repulsive'. Boorkat began to make grand gestures towards the crowd as he 'spoke'.

"Welcome to Mordhaben's Institute for Aspiring Mages. I am Boorkat Malkin, the current Administrator, and I thank you for choosing to attend. For over a thousand years, we have taught students and scholars alike not merely book-learned information, but how to think and how to explore the world around them. This year will be no different, and I am personally quite proud of that fact. But, rather than tell you why what we do is important, we will instead show you. I ask that you remain silent during the presentation. Technician, if you would."

With that, the Malkins stepped away from the Podium and joined the other staff members at the bottom of the steps. Professor Volkova stayed atop the stairs, standing next to of one of the columns supporting the portico roof, where she could keep an eye on the crowd and silence any who tried to speak above a whisper. A large sheet of waterproofed canvas with a weight rod at the bottom slid out of the portico roof to form a screen. A pair of small wires ejected themselves from the floor on either side of the screen and anchored it, and any students paying attention might note that the hooded and bandaged staff member, Brovak, had simply twirled a finger. He seemed to be showing off the extreme basics of magic, even before classes were being started. Moments later, a light shone out of the front of the portico roof overhang, bounced off a mirror mounted to the back of the courtyard gate assembly, and displayed a flickering image on the screen.

The projector cut off, and the screen returned to its resting point inside of the portico overhang. Boorkat and Katrice Malkin stepped back up to their podium and began speaking once more.

"What you just saw was originally meant to be a patriotic film encouraging citizens to join the military. During filming, the First General, Major Heartstrong, Colonel Breckenridge, Art Jannefel, and the lone sniper were to give aid to the Army in fighting off a small horde of Virefangs which, due to a miscalculation by ecologists, had happened upon the southern town of Vivat during a mass migration in search of food just a few years ago. That happened instead. There are many unknown things about the world, and while we now have named that gaseous abomination the Terraphage and have discovered exactly why it destroyed Vivat, there is no guarantee that there aren't any other major threats to our safety lurking just out of sight. Had we more knowledge beforehand, this would not have happened. And seeking knowledge is why we are here. I ask that you take your search for knowledge and, if you wish, power, seriously while you are with us."

Administrator Malkin's four eyes scanned the crowd's reactions and left them to think about it for a few moments before continuing his speech. "On a happier note, we should have breakfast ready now. Professor Katarina Volkova will escort you to the cafeteria."
@LordofthePies You'll have to deal with a little more to react to by then, but yeah, that's fine. :)
Added Malovroch, the tailoring/sewing and smithing instructor, to the staff list.
@Etranger Accepted. Loving this, tbh.
@Jay Kalton Accepted, and welcome back. :)
@pkken Approved.
@Queentze Looking good! Approved.
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