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10 mos ago
Current RAIN OF SPIDERS (SPIDERS spiders)
4 likes
2 yrs ago
It seems today, that all you see,
2 yrs ago
Holy Spirit Activate
1 like
2 yrs ago
Remember the indigenous people of the Americas today.
5 likes
3 yrs ago
Critical Role? More like Crunchical Hole, haha. But yes, it's pretty uh... well, the Mercer Effect exists for the same reason people think porn is an accurate depiction of sex.
1 like

Bio

Hello, I am me from the internet. I migrated here from Kongregate's Forum Games Forum, so feel free to look for me there if you wish to follow a career in internet stalking people. (ಠ_ಠ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A link to some of my past characters, which I need because static tabs do not take up internet.

Infamous Quotes From People Who Exist

“I really don’t follow how your faith believes its perfectly acceptable to doom 4,000 years plus of sentient beings, on a pre-set path of no escape from sin, just so their descendants can be offered the ‘chance of salvation’ when the god murders its own son.”
~vikaTae

“Don’t be an ass or a pussy, ’lest you get screwed by life. Being a mouth or a hand is somewhat safer, and an eye socket is pretty much sacred in this regard, so always keep a look out.”
~BCLEGENDS

Most Recent Posts

@POOHEAD189 Just call him Cato. No, wait, Cato's Roman. Ahahaaa, history! Anyways, how's everyone doing?
Dirk Messir - [MISSION IMPOSSIBLES VIOLENTLY]

'Yeah chap,' he says, taking the gloves and putting them on his hands. He'd go to the chin, and he'd beat the cyclops, and I brought the crown BACK. But most of all, I'm... I'm... I'M...

A piece of crap who can't do anything right?

You are not worthy Loser! You can't win Imbecile!

Do Not Listen To Them! You Have So Much Potential!

He's saying you're weak right now. And you'll only ever grow weaker.

'Guys, I need to climhazzard,' I replied, jamming the gloves into the wall, going up the wall, not going up the wall because who thinks spikes that get stabbed into the wall is a good idea? Why is that even a thing? Who designed the stupid gloves they aren't even the best there is no way for gloves to have gloving on the glove spikes.

Oh hey a rope. Dirk puts the glove spikes in pocket and grabs the rope, and now there's a need to know how the best rope clim ever does the climbing, it's super good on my Syntich, super good on ythe then how does.

Okay, so he got up to Smithy again, and his arms hurt, and he's really trying guys. He's super trying. 'Your rope is bad quality, and you made it too long,' Dirk murmurs, trying to recover the energy in his arms so he didn't have an angery at the stealth moment. Besides, now he was to the top, which was where the Divine Purpose now says he needs to be. Hooray, good job.

'Okay. Let's find the things,' he says, now that his arms are better, and walks to one direction round the location. I'll find the, for sure.
Alessa Heather: Charity Fundraiser

Oh YES, this was wonderful! For three weeks, Alessa had been practically grinding her teeth over her inability to help, the fact that she’d been specifically denied the option of preventing crime and saving lives, but this, now? This was helping - the Wards were interacting with the community and showing they were well; laughs were being shared, not to mention genuine smiles; the event would raise funds for the PRT and Protectorate to further improve everyone’s lives! Everyone was happy.

...nearly everyone was happy. Behind her mask of light- or rather, the fake plastic mask she’d been asked to wear along with her normal outfit just to avoid blinding anyone too much- Alessa certainly felt better than she had since the warehouse tragedy, but... it hung over her still. Even three solid weeks of therapy had not quelled her fears, her worries... particularly the possibility that she’d flashback again, and...

No. No, no, she knew that wouldn’t happen again. One nightmare and one slightly singed house were nothing to worry about. She’d not even had another scene like that since then. Plus, how could she have her mind on things like that when the sweetest kid had just asked for her to sign her poster?

‘...and there you go, Jenny, one poster autograph!’ she exclaimed a couple of moments later, handing the poster back to the little girl, who took a look and let out a legitimate squeal of joy.

‘Thank you, Messiah! You’re the- the best hero ever!’ she squeaked, giving a massive smile - the sentiment clearly reflected by Jenny’s mother in her grateful expression.

‘Nah, you know who’s the best, Jenny? You are.’

‘Eeeee! Thank you!’ D’aww, how heartwarming.

As the two walked off, both clearly pleased, Lillian walked over to Alessa, her own mask hiding her features as she asked how everything was, whether she’d talked to Furnace yet, how G4M3R was having such a bad time, but it was so good to see Noble and Morales back on the field, and...

‘Heh. Don’t worry about it, Lily,’ Alessa replied kindly, lifting her mask just enough to show a grin before returning it to its usual position. ‘Today has been pretty great, but it’s been busy as heck too!’

Before she could say much else, her eye caught the approach of a, uh, draconic, sort of, silvery... rather well-endowed dragon woman. Oh, jeez. Her immediate instinct was a mixture of slight fear, on account of her size, her wings and other reptilian features, and substantial attraction, on account of her... size. Yeah, Evelyn’s comment pretty much summed it up, and it was essentially her own PR training that let her quickly twist the comment to something hopefully more PG:

‘Yyyeah, your outfit’s really well-designed! Can you direct me to whoever set that up for you? Because I want in on their work, hahaa! Ahh, but uh, I recognise you, I think,’ she said thoughtfully once her PR moment was over, frowning beneath the mask. ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, you’re… Sylph, right? The new Case 53 working with the Protectorate?’ As she spoke, she couldn’t help but glance over to Margrave to see how he was doing... oh, jeez. Not that great, huh? Maybe she should go over and see whether she could help him out.

‘Messiah. Wonderful to meet you,’ she offered to the newcomer, holding a hand out to shake semi-distractedly. Once it had been accepted or rejected, she briefly clasped her hand around the dragon-lady’s, murmured ‘Sorry for rushing off like this, Sylph, I swear I’d stick around longer if I wasn’t needed over there, and again, wonderful to meet you,‘ before speed-walking her way over to Margrave just as another highly attractive woman made her presence known to him. Damn it, why were there so many hot women around?

‘Hey, Margrave,’ Alessa uttered in a friendly fashion. Open, she hoped. ‘And of course whoever you are, ma’am - Messiah, nice to meet you.’ Offer a handshake, nod to her in a friendly fashion if and when she gave her name, return to the matter at hand. ‘Now, Margrave, I couldn’t help but notice you seemed a bit on-your-own over here,’ she mentioned matter-of-factly. ‘Do you want to have a chat for a bit? You, me, and Angel? If you want to chat, obviously.’ Was she saying too much? Making this too personal in front of an utter stranger? She imagined Margrave would say something if he was uncomfortable with the notion, but she could never quite tell how he’d react in some situations.
Dirk Messir - Smooth Fish Partying

It looked like all the boys were back in town now then now. It was all the best. They'd battol the minions of Minion Master, and he will be defeated in rapid speed timings, with the Divine Purpose said to do it now, immediately, do it.

You aren't going fast enough Idiot! Stop going backwards Slowpoke!

But he's going forwards. The Divine Purpose told him so.

...no wait. I am moving in the wrong direction. I guess this is what's the thing is now. Oh, it's that Ninjask who has the face beard, but not any more, since he looks without seeing being there's no seeing him tonight. He's very difficult to see, you see.

How are you always barely coherent, you utter reject?

'No shush Derek, the nice man is saying the words,' Dirk said, his head tilting as the lad said- oh wait his name is Smiff. Smift said that they wanted to do sneaking around. But then Dirk couldn't get to the fight.

You'd fail anyway Moron! You're so pathetically weak Loser!

'No, Jamewithaniintheexactmiddle, that's you,' he murmured, still headtiltthinking to himstilt. Stilts are nice. He could have time for stilts if he did the best thing. And the Divine Purpose had there was it said he would heave sad go to the chin, and do that with Taylor Smith. But a problem said itself.

'I actually don't into the hide,' I pronounce in quiet. 'It's what has there's me, okay. And the Divine Purpose tells me to do the thing. Which I do. Which is a good yes.' He untilted to retilt the other way, then fully untilted properly that time the there. 'Yes, okay. We can steal their coats.' He needed coats. He never had a coat before the guy who Slick was at Click Town with took there coat, and Dirk liked it, so he needed to get more coat. It was nice. So they had to go then. Where to go? Not into the fight area, probelly.
@Jbcool Posted as Alexa, finally. Thank you for your patience, everyone, it's much appreciated.
Alexa nodded to the Celestian's order, taking the back row of the column next to one of her fellow Battle-Sisters. Her lot was not to lead the charge, but to ensure those who did could do so without fail; and so she followed on, keeping her eyes forward, save when she glanced back to ensure they were not flanked - and, in one brief moment of distraction, toward the blade wielded by Sister Lisbeth. What an intriguing weapon for her to bear. Alexa wondered if she might discuss the matter with Lisbeth later.

But, that would be later. Now was a matter of combat - and rescuing their Crusader comrade from otherwise-certain doom. She thanked the Emperor, then, when their column finally reached him, imperiled but nonetheless living. In corridors such as these, avoiding gunfire and enemy attacks would be all the more difficult, not just for the armoured Sororitas, but also for their foes - a fact Sister Caroline made instant use of, opening fire into the mass of bodies with a hearty war cry, and heralding the echoes of gunfire that shortly followed. Alexa, without proper view, did not open fire immediately, but instead paid close attention to the battle to see who might require her help.

First to be injured, perhaps inevitably, was the unarmoured Confessor. Though his weapon was emptied into the crowd of heretics almost immediately, and his Rosarius flashed with every round that it deflected, it could not prevent him from coming to harm eternally. Under her helm, Alexa offered a sympathetic wince as what seemed to be a full quarter of his face was turned molten by a burst of lasfire; yet even as she moved forward to give her aid, the man recomposed himself and charged into the mass of enemies, bolt pistol and power maul to hand. She hoped he would be able enough in such circumstances to survive, despite everything he had going against him.

Her fellow Sisters seemed able enough: Sister Caroline's heavy bolter held strong, whilst Sister Vitruvia maintained weaponfire against the enemy until she ran dry of ammo, only to switch to her chainsword as the fray of close-range combat fell upon her, rather than the other way round. By now, Alexa had managed to pull forward enough to fire at her foes; bolt pistol in hand, she took aim and offered a triple-burst up to the foe, two rounds fragmenting a human's torso and covering his ally with viscera, and the third rending that man's arm from his body in a spray of blood. A second burst finished the foe off, then continued on to execute a duo of Kroot warriors, further back than anticipated. A mutant's solid projectile fire flew past her allies and zinged off of Alexa's armour like rain; the third burst was dedicated to his execution, and happened to catch an extra mutant or two in its deadly arc in the process.

Now Alexa reloaded, swapping her current bolt clip for a fresh one, and again looking to Sister Vitruvia - just as she finished off a Kroot warrior with a vicious blow to its neck, though she took a heavy hit to her back in the process. Her armour was sorely dented in many places, and it was clear she'd taken at least one serious wound. Yet, or so it might seem, she insisted through wordless action that she needed to continue her fight. And... where was the Confessor? Damn it all, he'd vanished! Where was he, where- ah, no, he lived yet, though kneeling in a side-room with a Kroot's mangled body at his feet, it was clear he ailed at the present time. Alexa made her way to him, muttering 'Let me examine that injury' to him as she entered, just to ensure he didn't lash out at her unnecessarily.

And the injury itself was, honestly speaking, a rather gruesome burn, flesh blackened and melted away almost down to the bone. Yet despite this, it was essentially cosmetic for the purposes of combat effectiveness - the man was winded through his own exertions rather than the pain in his face. He would, however, need more in-depth medical care once this crisis was through; in a field situation such as this, there was nothing Alexa could offer to help such a wound, other than a couple of injections - an analgesic at the injury site to relieve him of pain, followed up with an antiseptic spray to ensure it remained uninfected until proper attention could be given; and a stimshot to the arm to restore his energy levels. His assistance was greatly appreciated, of course, but Alexa felt his age might hold him back again in the future. She'd perhaps suggest to him at a later date to ask about rejuvenat treatments, just in case.
Post made, and hopefully it comes across as suitably charismatic.

<Snipped quote by TheFatedFallen>

Alice right now =



Just spit on them, if they do not know de wey.
Damn it, why did he ever stop talking? Everyone else had made their own statements, well-meaning he was quite certain, but half of them had already offered to fix the village's walls even before the guard captain demanded it of them - not to mention the idea that they abandon all of their weapons before they were allowed to enter. Ironically, the Dark Elf's words were his saving grace in that regard, though it seemed his fellow Vrettonian had other ideas about that. Time to vamp, Settionne, time to vamp.

'Sir Nicademus- before aught else, I must say your name rolls off the tongue nicely,' Sett began, voice continuing to play nicely with the words it was generating, a genial smile on his face, and his hands gesticulating appropriately to offer further calming. 'But with that in mind, you are perhaps right to be suspicious of us, as you would any other adventuring group. We are armed! We have a Dark Elf and a Lizardman with us! Surely not common sights, knowing the general opinion of both, and indeed it would be impolite, perhaps even impertinent, to suggest that we be allowed to roam your village so freely as we have roamed the Southlands thus far, under the circumstances.

'Yet, consider our position - and indeed, it may be I am wrong, so let us consider the facts accordingly. To date, for both your home and our own meager party, it has been our arms that have kept us alive, to the extent that even a priest of the Gods such as I bear equipment to defend from harm when the eventuality arises. Your quarrels have surely been of greater scale, of course, for your town is itself larger than the few who seek your hospitality today, but it is worth noting that not only has a rash of Dark Elven sorcery beset us, but so too have we faced Ogres, and so too were we forced underground and led into conflict with the aforementioned Dark Elves by a small horde of Rogs, brutish and dangerous as such foes are.

'Certainly, it is true that your town has reason, and rightly so, to be suspicious of whomever might show themselves to you, requesting assistance without so much as a how-do-you-do,' he continued, hopefully as smooth as butter. Gods, how he missed that stuff. 'But, one could argue, that suspicion might well be reflected back to you too. We, of course, are few, and you are many; I for one am hardly a skilled warrior, as my fellows can surely attest; it strikes me that with the rigorous and comprehensive training you surely put your men under, it would be no problem for even one such guardsman to strike me down, armed or not, and naturally with numbers on your side, I hardly believe even the most skilful of our number could successfully destroy this village alone.

'Perhaps, then, we might call in allies of our own?' he asked, hypothetically of course. 'To act as demon's advocate, it could be that somebody here has some way of signalling hidden foes to swarm your town, perhaps a roving band of Lizardmen, or a raiding party of Dark Elves, or perhaps even both. Yet, if we had such a great advantage, why not utilise it now? And furthermore, if such is true, why stick so firmly to the notion that this particular Dark Elf, this woman who claims she is nothing, is an exception? To trick you? I say again, you are already suspicious, and you have the advantage of numbers and training over many of us, so what could we do to overwhelm you in such a circumstance, and what do we gain from a lie other than a loss of shelter?'

Sett took a moment to inhale, then exhale. He was on a roll, he felt. Perhaps. Nonetheless, he continued to talk: 'As regards your terms, then, Sir Nicademus, I find that, personally, the only one I object to is the first. It is right and fair that guests assist in housekeeping, and I myself am certainly willing to help with any wallbuilding you require; it is entirely reasonable that you be told what we journey into the Southlands for; and indeed, as has been established, you are entirely correct to be suspicious of those you do not know, especially in vicious lands such as these. But equally, and it is likely a falsehood to even suggest the notion, for which I thank you for your patient consideration in advance, but if your town happens to make a living out of the misfortune of adventurers trusting you to keep their equipment safe, then we would all be caught off-guard if, and consequently when, the time came, and furthermore we would find ourselves rendered largely incapable of defending ourselves.

'"Surely," you may then ask yourself, "it is only reasonable that these adventurers have the same protections from harm as we seek out of them?" We are ultimately in the same position, that of not trusting our fellow man... yet - but, if you would be willing to offer the courtesy of not confiscating our equipment, we could then show that we are indeed trustworthy, and thus foster goodwill between our two groups. And would such not be beneficial for all, at the end of the day?' Sett punctuated his logic by simply widening his smile, looking to all the world like the sort of wiseman he was pretending toward. That in mind, he'd unfortunately have to avoid snatching anything from these people, with or without a guard watching his every move. And, worst case scenario, he supposed he'd be able to manipulate his bag to ensure the stave within remained unseen by the naked eye. That thing was going to be valuable, he just knew it.

@POOHEAD189@Gardevoiran@The Fated Fallen@Fetzen@Stormflyx@Mortarion
Dirk Messir - A Bunch of Fricking Fricks

They landed! And it was great, for like three seconds before cannons fired and enemies attacked. Oh noooo. He didn't even get to hugpologise to Hugsword.

Good. Maybe they'll finish what Reverse Mountain started, you son of a bitch.

Now is not the time, Derek. I need to drama. With my cool new coat and knives, I can drama my way into drama. It's a good time. First then all, they made deals that said "either be losers, do a combat, or be losers without ships". If they lost, they'd lose all their things. He had to coat more! His coat was the top tier beer coat! No. Alcohol bad.

Now, I could have said somewhat before anyone else does, but I don't do this, so instead, there are the matters that happen first. Freyr the Strangk was the said "YES" with empathy, and also so did Captain Cedric, and also so did- Slither didn't say anything. He got hurt or something. Quasar mentioned herbs and also said yes, and finally Bonesword says Yes too. Wait, no he am doesn't. On ho, too many people didn't say yes yet!

Dirk, Say Something, Quick! You Look Too Cool To Lose Your Coat! And Also Devil Fruit!

Oh right the fruit too. Divine Purpose says that's importent.

'YOU FOOOOOOOLS,' Dirk cried, but actually said 'You fools' quietly. 'You can't fight me. I'll kick you in the kick area. I have the number one ability to kill. Kill ability. Killbility. Akillity. Yes. You'll lose in any contest is what I mean.'

They don't hear your rambling Loser! Only idiots talk like you Dumbass!

Too cool to failed.

Too pathetic to win.

You shut your suck up, Derek and Jamewithaniintheexactmiddle. I'll win, and then they'll lose. And I can coat.
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