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4 yrs ago
starting off 2022 with COVID LESSGOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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8 yrs ago
Whoever says "the customer is always right" has not worked with atual customers.
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For the sake of being fair and getting rid of an 'gary stu' qualities as your co-gm put it I'm willing to even reduce Allen to just spewing out his own beliefs and not making him intelligent. He can be have been pandered to simply be the heir to his company, and not much else. However I fear that would just leave him saying dumb stuff without a point like saying 'good guys are good, and bad people are bad.' I can also put in his confidence issues which I failed on my own part to put into the personality section.

@DruSM157


A lack of intelligence doesn't necessarily equate to saying 'dumb stuff without a point'. You realize you can control what your character says, right? So you don't have to worry about that sort of thing unless you make him say things like that.
I sent you the pm going over his details regarding my full backstory. Allen has his mother, and butler for inspiration. His sister who keeps him grounded, and he deeply hates his father. Regarding the hospital I can have his father helping overseeing its processes which is why he, and his father would be in Japan. I already stated he is often prone to travelling from one place to another due to his father dragging him along with him everywhere.


No.

Allen doesn't carry his sword everywhere you asked for equipment I put it there for reference. For out of school activities he keeps the pocket knife on him, usually in his back pack, for protection as he knows even self defense training only gets you so far. If its an issue to have in school I can just bring it with him on off days when school isn't an issue.


No.

Allen is a highly mature individual. He doesn't mess around, and is very practical. However he can be childish if he's pushed into doing something he's not comfortable with. Adults also have this issue depending on what their upbringing is. For example if Allen takes someone on a date he's a good upstanding gentleman about it. If they ask for a kiss he's going to start stammering, or get nervous. He's confident in the face of danger but he's also unsettled by it. He can courageous but still feel uncomfortable.

I'm pretty sure I addressed most of the issues you have regarding my character.


Characters are complex and have contradicting traits but in this case it feels like you're writings thing and adding them in for the sake of wanting him to be everything instead of letting him be organic. This roleplay is based more off of Persona 4--a bunch of ordinary high school kids getting into an adventure where the focus is character development--and this character isn't matching the tone we are looking for. Nothing in the backstory sounds like any defining moment and there is nothing that would indicate his 'goal' of being a hero. Generally speaking, the CS is unfocused and leans heavily towards a Gary Stu instead of coming off as a genuine character.

You addressed the issues. They're still issues.


It all came so easily to the rest of the group; Luna had to admit she was absolutely amazed at the leap into action. There was no fear or hesitation for anyone else, their movements practiced and calls of judgement coming immediately. They must have all been much more experienced than she; that was the only thing she considered, but at the sight of the breath, she froze again. What in the world--was it trying to kill them?! What a marvel thought, of course it was, she didn't know why that came to mind.

An Aero cleared a majority of the musty breath, and Luna realized it came from Artemisia. She needed to stop standing around and help, too!

"Okay, okay, breathe..." Luna muttered to herself, aiming at one of the malboro's exposed spots. She could feel her arms shaking, but she willed herself steady. Bracing herself, she couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut as she released the arrow.

how many persona rps do you need





How could he not laugh? Eris nearly lost it again once Max mentioned the head patting, but he kept himself together. The very thought was absurd, though he would definitely keep that in mind the next time he wanted to bother the kid. He'd be lying if he said he'd be refraining from rustling him, but something about Max made him want to bug him all the more. Patting his head seemed tame enough, maybe he could snatch him up or catch him off guard. It'd be a decent way to covertly train his reflexes, too.

That said, if Max thought strangling a vampire did anything, he was sorely mistaken. The thought was amusing, though. Hearing that Max was doing well did make Eris happy--that bodyguard suggestion of Ismene's might just play out after all. But he was also interested for other reasons, mostly to see if he would take well to be molded. Stubborn as he was, the kid did have a brain somewhere in-between the moodiness and pouting, and a working mage was a useful asset.

"It's only now that any mage worth their salt would be shown their talents. There's a reason their practical is now," He pointed out. "Metal is a useful affinity, there's a few things I can think I'd like you to try down the line."

He wasn't sure how to comment on the affinity. Was it common to be undecided? He'd have to try to find out without coming off as ignorant. If Sunny asked, though, it meant that Eris should at least be asking, so there was that. Maybe they should talk about it now. "This Academy is weird in that sense: unless I actually decide to step in and override it, you're the one that gets the choice of major." Because watching mages have choices was funny or something to the princess. "What choices were you considering?"


Blah blah blahing with @Scribe of Thoth



It was...weird to hear Ben talk like that. No, it was weird to hear any vampire talk like that. Lilie thought that the only things they cared about were themselves, but Ben seemed to have a heart when it came to people beneath them. It was still bizarre, but interesting to her--what few vampires she did meet were either condescending, alright in private but different in public, and...whatever Eris was--and she couldn't help but wonder to herself. Did he think that way because those were the values he grew up with, or was it because something happened to him? Did he get betrayed and learn his lesson? There were a few ideas floating around in her head, but she wasn't brave enough to ask.

She looked over as Geoffrey Noila spoke, but when he started acting strangely, she almost expected him to attack. Ben distracted her for a second--what did he mean, "oops'?! But soon that statue changed, it was like the king was taken over by a beautiful young woman. Her veil made her look mysterious, but as soon as she saw the Sinnenodel symbol, Lilie's opinion of the statue dropped a little. Who was that? She looked like one of the Sinnenodels on one of their bills, but that couldn't be, could it?

Lilie was entirely confused about the woman's speech, making little sense of it. Snakes? Time? What? Swords and magic combined, she got, but that wasn't something the woman was interested in. She gasped as the scepter was crushed, the scenery around them changing. All the trees and bushes looked dried and withered, and she felt a pang of guilt. Was this their fault?

Unfortunately, it was: they failed. Lilie was crestfallen, looking around them sadly. Where had they gone wrong? Before she could ask, Ben pointed out that they were running out of time. Not only did they kill the poor plant life, but they lost their chance to do both extra challenges and even the full grade. He left the decision to her, but she hesitated. She had been completely hopeless in the face of the last challenge, what if that happened again and they timed out? At least a ninety was better than a zero, but leaving like this felt wrong, too.

Taking Ben's sleeve, she looked for the clearer path. "We're gonna keep going," She told him, determined.


Standing next to @Bert Macklin.
"Then our deal has been born. No turning back now," Lakshmi replied with a wink, a mischievous look about her as she released him. "Come then, let us gamble against the fates."

The bustling noise of the streets came back as thunderous as ever once the pair stepped back into the crowd. Even so, no one seemed to lay eyes on either of them; Lakshmi walked the path that would lead them straight to the palace, sidestepping most with a practiced ease. Even the closest calls drew no attention to them, but she walked with an impressive speed nonetheless. There would be no slowing down until she ducked into another alleyway, cutting straight through the foot traffic and emerging on a lesser side of the palace that the populace was less familiar with.

Several guards stood around, checking every product and servant that walked through. One was perched on a mountain of crates, searching for something, but after a few seconds, he descended and headed back into the palace. There was a small crowd towards the end of the line as they awaited an order, mostly people whose faces were more commonly seen among the rabble--the tired and hungry looking for a promise of payment that would tide them over for the rest of the celebration so long as they worked without complaint. In truth it was the Sultan's wife who had suggested the idea, feeling that it would make the royal family look more in touch with their people.

Lakshmi ignored the first guard, taking Harun's wrist and walking past both the guard and the crowd, though she released him as she approached an open crate. An assortment of fine silks rested there, a few men having hauled a few and sorting themselves by color going inside but heading in different directions. There was a slight gleam in her eye, a hastily put together plan as she rummaged through the crate for a moment.

"This one will do," She decided, hoisting up a rolled up silk whose color seemed to match the sea. "Take this one and follow me."

Once she led Harun to the last guard, the man's eyes widened considerably. "My lady, you--"

Holding up her hand, Lakshmi shook her head, gesturing to the silk. "Why is it that I had to come out here and get this material myself?" She asked sharply. "I asked that you deliver this to Khedive Raul's room an hour ago."

The man looked from material to woman, confused. "But...I was told you went missing--"

"And here I am. Lucky you," Lakshmi didn't wait for a response, brushing past the man.

The guard looked over Harun wearily, but after glancing back at Lakshmi, he motioned for the young man to pass. The dark haired woman waited for a moment, hastily leading Harun away before anyone would question them. Fortunately, no one batted an eyelash at him as they walked through the bare servants' quarters, although there were a few that did take an appreciative look at Harun once in a while. Once their surroundings changed into finery, they were in the heart of the palace. Servants were dressed much more eloquently, carrying an assortment of food and drink here and there. Several fine artifacts hung on the walls, the floors much cleaner and having an atmosphere of luxury about them.

Lakshmi stopped at an intersection, letting out a tiny sigh of relief. She didn't think it would go this smoothly--they would go straight to the Khedive's chambers and snatch the lamp while the festivities continued. Honestly, she shouldn't have given it a second thought, but the moment she stepped forward, the door ahead of them opened. Out stepped one of the head guardsmen, one who protected the visiting nobles, his outfit differentiating from the usual blue and gold and instead painted green. He seemed to have noticed Harun first, though once his eyes landed on Lakshmi, he almost looked relieved.

"There you are," He strode to them immediately. "The khedive is asking for you."

"I'm busy," She replied, gesturing to Harun. "I need to make another garb after he so carelessly ripped mine."

The guardsman looked like he wanted to say something, but seemed to change his mind, standing firm. "I was instructed to find you and take you to him immediately," He stated firmly.

Lakshmi hesitated, trying to think. This was a minor hiccup--all she needed was for Harun to get the lamp. Slowly, she nodded, clearing her throat as she gestured to Harun. "Let him leave this then, and I will go with you," She said.

The older man nodded, giving Harun a look that clearly said "Don't try anything funny" before taking Lakshmi by her arm. She didn't resist, though she threw Harun a look and tried to signal a numerical two, hoping he would take the hint.
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