Current
A Perpetual Motion Engine of Anxiety and Self-Loathing
Bio
So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.
Well, we all gotta have our exceptions. I intend to embark on a massive quest next year for Batman's 80th to read every issue of Batman and Detective Comics ontop of rewatching all the movies, every cartoon, replaying most of the games...
I may not live through the experience.
So, we'll all look forward to hearing from you in-game by around October or November next year...
I remember a time when damn near every picture's link worked and it was easy to find the obscure stuff you were looking for because that's what the internet was for...
“A heavy start, no? Tales of gods and monsters. They usually go one of two different ways. Once upon a time there was a man. He was a good man, met with a challenge and through his pious and virtuous nature he overcame that adversity and gained all of the desirable rewards from the gods that were mentioned earlier in the story. The End. Stories like this, are taught to preach virtues and play on the empathy for the central protagonist.”
“Or… once there was a man, he did something very unwise and non-virtuous. The gods frowned upon him and made an example of him in what eventually turns out to be a very scary and yet poetically fitting style.”
“Be like the first man. Don’t be like the second man. The gods are agreeable and reward the first man, but their retribution knows no bounds with the second man.”
“Carrot. And stick.”
“Elevating. And devouring.”
“Healing. And harming.”
“To teach empathy. And fear.”
“But to get back to the matter at hand--”
“Once… there was a god. A god… of the moon. He was a ferocious god. A fearful god, yes, but a god to want to be on his good side. This god, would aid kings and queens on their path in the afterlife. This god was powerful enough to catch and devour other gods, allowing those who travelled by night to ascend further to greater aspects of consciousness. His name was Khonshu.”
“Suffice to say, this god became a much appreciated deity amongst royalty. And sacrifices and offerings from the most powerful would abound.”
“As well as this god, there once was a king… This king was collecting tribute around Syria. He came upon a regional Prince, who along with a magnificent tribute also offered up his beautiful daughter as a wife to the king. The king was thrilled with the Prince’s generosity--”
“--over the moon, if you will--”
“For the woman was indeed beautiful. The king changed her name to Ra-Neferu. Or The Radiance of the Sun, such was the value this king put on her beauty.”
“Years later and the king and his new queen have long since had a daughter, the Princess is returned to the regional Prince’s town for schooling, as befit custom.”
“One day the King receives a message from the Prince. The Prince requested the King send his finest physicians and mages.”
“For the Princess had been consumed by dark forces. She had been possessed by a demon.”
“So the king sent his very best… Tehuti-em-Beb. Tehuti-em-Beb travelled many miles to get to the town. He assessed the situation, and found there was nothing to be done for the girl and the demon.”
“Tehuti-em-Beb went on his long trek back and arrived back at the city to report to the king just in time for the Festival of Amun, the chief god of Thebes. The king began to wonder if he did the right thing.”
“With dark forces at work, did he send a man to do a god’s job?”
“So the king made his way to the Temple of Khonshu. He made a lengthy impassioned request for the god’s aid. And with offerings the god was dispatched to the town, it’s essence imbued in a statue of the god himself.”
“This time it took many months to return to the town, as the Prophets of Khonshu had to haul the statue imbued with the real god. These are the ways of gods. Everything comes with a price of toil.”
“The Prophets brought the statue before the young Princess. Khonshu announced his presence and his intent. The demon, knowing how much he was outmatched played his only card.”
“Flattery for leniency.”
“For the demon knew of Khonshu’s reputation. For Khonshu was indeed a vengeful, wrath-filled god.”
“The demon agreed to leave immediately. He apologised profusely to Khonshu, and asked kindly if the god could have the Prince arrange a grand feast in the demon’s own name before it began its journey into the unknown realm of the Otherworld.”
“And again, whilst this god’s ferocity may know no bounds, Khonshu’s role is also as the Traveller, ensuring the ascendency and protection of those who travel by night.”
“...Khonshu agreed to the terms.”
“The Prince held a giant feast and all were in attendance, including the Princess, the Prince, Khonshu and the demon itself. After the feast concluded, the demon felled a tree. Turned it’s strongest branch into a cane and simply left. And began it’s traverse across to the Otherworld.”
“So is this a story about the carrot, or the stick?”
So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.</div>
PatientBean,
Lildear18,
webboysurf,
Izurich,
Fetzen,
Eviledd1984,
Festive,
Pirouette,
Skai,
Phase
