Avatar of Plank Sinatra

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Recent Statuses

4 yrs ago
Current deconstructions are fake lol
1 like
5 yrs ago
"return of the mack, you know that i'll be back." in his bed, joe biden lurches awake, wild-eyed. many a year he has watched, waited for the mack's return. hes as ready as he will ever be. he t-poses
5 yrs ago
Today Show 9-11-01 ~ Live on NBC as Tragedy Occurred [s l o w e d + r e v e r b]
1 like
5 yrs ago
40 hours into the mass effect remaster. gameplay is good but not sold on the plot changes. wish garrus would stop saying "reaper? i hardly know her!" laugh track on the normandy is a weird choice too
6 likes
5 yrs ago
fine, since you asked so nicely officer, i will confess my crimes. since i was seven years old i have refused to match any socks in my sock drawer. i practice sock hookup culture. i am a slut
7 likes

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Tuesday, 4th Period


Lauren sat down slouched at her bench in Armory, half-lidded eyes masked behind her BaSTEELs and stifling her yawns. She felt like she could have easily roped about three or four more hours of sleep, but Cap seemed intent on everyone going back to the fucking grind today. She wasn't quite sure what she wanted to do with the class period today - she'd finished her starter project for Chatsworth last week with the BaSTEELs, but there was one more pair she wanted to forge...

And she needed to tinker with Artorius and Lawnslot...

And she needed to--

Shit, where was Luke?

Luuuuuuuuke!

Where the fuck was her little Dis-Oriented protege? She wanted to show him her sketches!

She supposed she could always just close her eyes and wait for him to show up...

For juuuuust a sec...
Yeah.
- RO S

Also starring: @Krayzikk as the Meat Hunk, @Write as the Yuri Route, @Kafka Komedy as Okama-kun, and @Crimmy as the Father Figure



Kimiko blew out a quiet breath, hopefully to try and exhale some patience directly into the soul of her little kouhai. It was clear that he'd stopped believing this was a prank, which was both super helpful to their current task and kind of disappointing. Kimiko liked the idea that she was industrious enough to make all that weird stuff happen with demons, pizza robots, and the cops just to trap some little first-year in her latest bizarre gambit. If that were the case, she would be ruling the world by first year of uni.

"So let's take it from the top, yeah, Kazou-kun?" she began, slapping her knuckles into the palm of her other hand. She was chewing on some of DRU's excellently reheated food in thought, French fry dangling from her mouth like an unlit Lucky Strike. "Yesterday afternoon, Daisuke-kun and I are walking home from classes and talking about our after-school activities when a transport truck crashes, right where we passed by on our way here. There's fire, there's a crowd, it's a really big incident. Only instead of any survivors, out roll at least five dozen pizza bots--"

She knocked cautiously on the top of the DRU she was sitting on.

"--exactly like this. Only they weren't themselves - or rather, they weren't what you see now. Their eyes were golden, instead of this cute little LED blue, and not an LED gold either. They were thralls to something." She pointed at the disgusting creature that Sasori had unveiled a moment prior, mouth quirked in disgust and slight unease. "That thing, to be precise. When I fought my way to the truck on DRU's back, that thing was inside, in the middle of this thick golden fog everywhere. I gave it a haymaker, cold clocked it, stomped it right to death, and all the pizza bots fell apart except for mine. That's almost exactly where we met Sasori-san, Hitomi-chan, and Cali-senpai. I was planning on coming here after my meal this morning and following things up from there, so I guess it's a good thing we all ran into each other while refueling our stomachs, huh?"

Her eyes slid to the detective before cutting back to Kazou cautiously. She had left out one vital part of the story, but as much as Kimiko may have adopted a leadership role among the group of kids, Sasori was an adult - and had been following this whole weird affair a lot longer than her. So her unspoken message to Sasori was a clear question:

Should we cut him in on the big stuff?
As Oswald finally limped into class, his mouth stiffened from the pain, he looked around to see a few people of interest.

Jericho Piper, that new student/T.A. that so many people seemed excited to meet.


<Snipped quote by Plank Sinatra>

Speaking of, when will we be actually introducing him to the team? And how will we be doing it? I have an idea or two but nothing complete.


I'd talk to you over Discord about it, but I think you set it so that I have to verify my membership in the server via cell phone. I'd rather not give Discord my number so if you could fix that setting that'd be swell


Monday - 11:45 PM


"Jericho Piper..."

Jericho was sitting opposite the old man, trying to compartmentalize the layout of his bizarre-looking office. There was a love of horology on display everywhere; gears churned above, beside, and below them through the glass walls, there were timepieces all along the translucent surfaces. There were even a couple of small clocks ticking away on his desk, and a Quote-a-Day calendar set beside a series of black-and-white striped papers that could only be his Atlesian transcript. Quote-a-Day.

Jericho doubted Professor Ozpin needed an inspirational quote once every day or a calendar to keep track of those days.

"This is an astonishing transcript. What I can read of it, anyway," the old man joked. Professor Ozpin had the same paternal air that those who reported to General Ironwood would often describe; other than that, the two could not have been more different. Ironwood had a commanding presence, charismatic and unflappable before the eyes of any man. Ozpin was subtle, unassuming, amiable; all his power was hidden under the surface, a subtle tension that only those who had to disguise power could recognize - dark versus light, like Jer and Rich had been. Jericho's gloved fist clenched.

For the first time, he was certain someone had noticed.

"Even without General Ironwood's sterling recommendation, it appears you satisfied all of the enrollment prerequisites during your years in Atlas, and you're up on all your general education as well...you've run the Bastion Gauntlet four times?"

Jericho blinked lazily.

"Yes sir. First, third, fifth and--"

"Seventh, yes. That's certainly an extraordinary level of devotion. I've never had the pleasure of running the course myself, it was a bit before my time...but I believe I watched another Piper run it, not so many years ago. A six mile run to start the course, cattle prods, rope ladders as high as buildings...but he moved like quicksilver through it all the same, letting nothing stop him. What was his time, again..."

Jericho's fist clenched harder.

"38:21 his entry year," Jericho explained. It had always been a sore spot - and a note of consternation from his father - that Jer had flubbed what they were both certain would be a record-shattering first showing during his Bastion entrance exams at the age of ten. In hindsight, expecting a ten year old to move like an Olympian wasn't fair, but that was the way Troy Piper's parenting was. And he'd come out better for it, he thought.

Still.

It would have been nice to beat the time.

"And 36:09 his final year."

Ozpin's eyes were warm and amused behind his spectacles.

"You're still young, Lieutenant. You'll have other chances."

"You don't have to call me a Lieutenant, sir. I earned the rank in a military academy. This place isn't that."

"No, that it is not. Beacon has many advantages over Atlas, if you would pardon an old man's bias for his school, but there is certainly a level of discipline to the north that you may consider to be...lacking here?"

It seemed like a softball question to Jer, but he thought of Bianca Nuit, the Schwarz sisters, Beryl Harken, Vega Venetia, and some of the other psychotic girls that he'd met over the past few days.

"I've noticed that, yes, sir."

"Jericho, please. If you don't have to be a Lieutenant, I don't have to be a sir," Ozpin demurred. "Lacking discipline...I see. Alright, Jericho, well, there's clearly no problems with your transcripts aside from..."

The big one.

"Seal Judgment. General Ironwood swears on his life that you have it contained. I talked to your father earlier tonight and he insists the same, but I'd rather hear it from you. Are you in control?"

Jericho thought back to his final conversation with Troy Piper, not twenty four hours previously. He'd had his doubts about Jericho's ability to maintain the power in his weapon, too. But if he talked to Ozpin...

How did Ozpin get in touch with him?

And why had his dad given him the vote of confidence? Had their talk convinced him?

"I would die before I lost control--"

"Again."

"--again. Sir." Jericho's assertion was cold and confident. Just as usual.

Ozpin's eyes were still studying him fiercely. His fist tightened under the gaze.

"It won't have to come to that, Jericho," Ozpin said gently, before taking the Gold Stripe's transcript in his hands and stacking it up neatly. "Well, as I was saying, there are no problems with your transcript apart from that, and it seems that you've already been assigned to Team Flapjack. Normally we allow our students freedom to customize their school uniforms, but given your unique status as a transfer student, we'll allow you the same amount of freedom as the Haven students on loan here and allow you to wear your Gold Stripes regalia if you see fit. I hope to see you around classes--oh, and that reminds me? It says here you were a 'UTA' in the Bastion marksmanship program. 'UTA' meaning...?"

What, is he serious?

"Undergraduate teacher's aide," Jericho explained. "I was the best shot in our year." I even made Speer switch to hacking. By now he's probably already enabling the sniper function on Ascalon again...

"Ah, I see. You already have experience with that sort of thing," Ozpin noted with wry humor. "Well, then, I see no reason you can't help out Professor Iderson in a similar role during your time at our Practice classes. I would hate for a Gold Stripe to find himself bored by our beautiful course - and I'm sure you'll find assisting the students fulfilling. Good evening, Jericho."

Tuesday - 7:41 AM


Old son of a bitch.

Jericho Piper, lying atop the highest wall on the Beacon obstacle course with his legs straddling either side, woke up with a ragged, sleepy groan that would have turned Bianca and Beryl into geysers. He took a second to breathe in, breathe out - and remember where he was. The dew in springtime had clung to his shirt, mingling with the perspiration from his exercises last night to dampen the fabric and leave it clinging to him. His back was sore from aligning the center of the wall between his shoulder blades all night. But it felt...oddly nice?

It's too cold in Atlas to sleep out here like this, he decided. Even springtime feels like winter. Here spring was just...spring.

Ahh, hell, what time was it? He had classes to be getting to...

And a notification on his Scroll to answer. No, two. Who was it that was wishing him well this time?

Sender: Cecelia G.
Recipient: Jericho P.
Message: You think an ocean will stop me, devil boy? Rich has approved sanctioning you under the Gigi Protocol. The next time your feet touch Atlesian soil you're getting slapped into irons!! XOXO Princess.


Cecelia. Rich's little sister. Jer could remember playing along with her tea parties during summer breaks as a kid - only she, like her brother, had a royal sense of superiority from the day she was born. Instead of tea parties in the traditional sense, it had been more like him helping her line up all the tables in the Gault family dining room to resemble the high hall at Valhalla. Cecelia, of course, got Odin's seat.

Christ, she's what, fifteen or sixteen now?

Jer remembered that she'd been appointed to fill the gap in the Gold Stripes unit he'd left behind - she must have gotten bumped up a couple years. Good. She was as talented, charismatic, and open-hearted as her brother; she'd make a good knight, and a better replacement for a soulless devil like him.

Sender: Jericho P.
Recipient: Cecelia G.
Message: Vit sjáumst. I'll keep an eye out for any local crown jewels that might be appreciated more in Atlas.


And then the more recent message; this one was hot off the presses, sent literally minutes before he'd woken up.

Sender: Babylon P.
Recipient: Jericho P.
Message: Clone. Hello. Babylon has told me you have fled Atlas this is good. Need you here. I dont have enough bullets for all the fanboys here. There are so many and they think lewd thoughts about Babs. Need more bullets and brother with sharp aim. Will see you soon love mole.


Oh, Jesus Christ.

They really just needed to buy Bekah a Scroll of her own already, but the girl was like a woman eighty years her senior when it came to technology. The only person she even followed on social media was Babs.

Sender: Jericho P.
Recipient: Babylon P.
Message: Bek, I don't know what Babs told you, but I'm still in school. I just transferred to Beacon for a semester or two. And shooting her fans is a quick way to make sure you both wind up broke. She's not Biggie Smalls, she can't get away with crap like that.


The response was almost instantaneous.

Sender: Babylon P.
Recipient: Jericho P.
Message: Noted will only kill the lewd ones. The lewd ones still die. Good advice clone. Glad you were grown. Love mole.


Bars.

Sender: Jericho P.
Recipient: Babylon P.
Message: Going to class. Talk to you later Bek. Love you - and be good for Babs, for Christ's sake.


Sender: Babylon P.
Recipient: Jericho P.
Message:


Jericho smiled faintly.

She's a good girl. One of the only things Speer had ever done right in his life. Of course, the same could be said for Jer himself...

Jer pocketed his Scroll and stretched with another, grittier groan. He had only a few minutes to rush into the sparsely-used classroom that Practice was technically assigned to and use the showers, let alone brush his teeth, get changed into his Gold Stripes uniform, and get dressed. It was seemingly an insurmountable task for this morning, at least - tonight, when he had introduced himself to his team and slept in a real bed, it would be a different story. But it seemed that his chance at a good first impression had been bungled.

...

Unless I hustle.

Always live like there's a towel right behind you. Waiting to be snapped.

Jericho leaped from the wall...and hustled.

Tuesday, 4th Period


Of course he'd made it. A knight never showed up to the tourney late.

Jer, wearing the high-collared school coat of the Atlesian Gold Stripes unit over his regular dark uniform, settled down into a spare seat at Armory. Not many people had filed in yet from what he could see, which was good for him - it gave him more time to scrutinize other students and properly vet who may want to take the seat next to him. There were a few contenders he would be okay with. Grat could sit next to him, or Beryl. Luke Schwarz would be a safer, less offensive pick than either. He was fine with those.

But arriving early would give him a chance to decide for himself who he was sharing space with for the next semester.

It was a good thing that, as a TA, he was allowed to eat lunch in the lounge. It was a short shot from there to Chatsworth's Armory. Life frickin' hacks.

...

Speaking of life hacks...

I'm going to have to ask if I can put my bike in the back.

Please. Please please please. The Piper Custom could really use the love and attention after being jostled around on that plane for Christ knew how long...
should have jer up this morning before i roll out, post a comment on this web zone if you need pouts and grump in your armory life
Practice will continue to be taught by Rowan Iderson, who will be accompanied with teaching assistant Jericho Piper.


eheheheheheheh

hahahahahahahahahaha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SIXTH PERIOD SQUAD UP
Angel Ferrara

@Krayzikk @Onarax @Expolar

Angel was caught red-handed.

The slim young man took the mayor's verbal tongue thrashing with wide blue eyes, head slowly tilting to the left as he and the other assembled mages were reamed for their lack of poise and initiative - before he, specifically, was called out (as a girlllll!) and told to get out of the kitchen! When the chubby little man stormed out as quickly as he came, and Angel numbly felt the innkeeper tap him on the shoulder and encourage him, the mage just kept staring at the door, his soft gaze huge and shell-shocked.

He could feel Cyare getting angry.

...

"Teeheeehee!"

He blinked and looked at the Tactical Mage with a mischievous air that bordered on faelike.

"Pfff...I bet his breakfast wasn't fully bal~aaaanced~" he teased, laying down his frying pan and cheese knife to leap over the counter and sit next to Cyare. "Don't be such a sourpuss, eat up. It's not the first time I've been mistaken for a girl!"

He waited for Cyare to take a few more bites and for some of the cheer to return before he favored her with his typically bright beam. He held the hand she wasn't using to eat the sandwich and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Hey Cyare, Rei says you've fought Dark Guilds by yourself before, right Rei?" Angel queried innocently. "Up in the mountains? That's near Veronica! I wonder if they're anything like up there down here...whatcha think, Wes?"


"Ahhh, thank you, Cap! I will remember your strength, vitality, and rugged determination when I select my sperm donor!"

Laughing, Lauren cupped Ben's neck and drew him closer into her defined stomach for support. She arched backwards (an effort that strained her chest forward considerably against the already-tight maroon fabric of Ben's long-sleeved shirt and atop Ben's head) and slipped one hand down under the drawer to pull it open without the use of the two handles. She switched hands to lay her left on the back of her best friend's neck, stretching her right backwards in order to comb through her underwear drawer--

God damn, I'm a goddess.

--and, unbeknownst to all present, even the no-doubt curious Cap she was currently striding atop of, the old switcheroo took place.

Her hand had plucked the credit card safely from underneath Ben's collar where she'd left it, and she gave the sleeve of Ben's shirt an imperceptible shake to slide the black card from underneath her black palm and into her drawer full of black underwear. A few garments shuffled aside obscured it briefly; reaching underneath them and pulling the Palladium card out from the opposite side of the drawer she'd planted it was child's play for anyone who had spent two months in Windpath learning sleight-of-hand in her teens from a one-eyed blackjack dealer who went by the name Venti Veinte.

But that was neither here nor--

There.

"Triomphe!" she crowed in Mistralian with only a trace of the local accent, producing the metal-plated credit card so that it shone in the dorm's light before it was flicked across the room to Estelle. "There you go, ma'am, one credit card! Your finder's fee for the commission on the sale of those legal goods you let me borrow? Already on there!"

And now to hit Estelle with a trick Lauren knew first-hand she was useless against - the ol' neuro-linguistic programming.

"I'll see you in class sometime, eh, sensei?" she asked playfully, closing the drawer behind her with a slam of her palm and tracing all her fingers through Ben's hair. "I've got a funny story about the sale, actually, you'll really dig it. I'll tell it to you after my family leaves."

She jerked her head towards her Pops with a slight wink; her grin was sharp and proud.

Nay, my dear Captain, my fair hooker, my hapless snake. This is not dark magic you see before you--this is merely the untapped science of charisma.

And there was always a method to science.
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