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6 mos ago
Current @SaltSight Game was Astlibra: Revision. Found it on sale bundled with another game I've been wanting so I gave it a shot and got like, straight indie JRPG of the early 2000s injected into my veins.
3 likes
6 mos ago
Hate that strange ennui that hits after 100%'ing a really, really good game. Good time was had, but man am I glad it can't mess my sleep schedule up anymore.
6 likes
2 yrs ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
3 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.

Bio

No longer an asshole!

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Hector Wyland



[@Croc Crush]

Had Hector any less restraint, he'd likely have blown apart the goggled man's skull and left his brains splattered against a tree. You're welcome, random nameless (yet somehow familiar) mud man. But there was no time for that, given that more of the Makara burst from the water. Narrowing his eye, Hector would land a clean shot, penetrating the skull of one of the Makara approaching the front line, just as two managed to slink past and slam into the tree he was perched up in. Hurriedly, he would reach into his belt pouch to draw the bayonet free from it, Herne hissing and keeping its eyes trained on the two beasts.

Hector scarcely managed to fumble his bayonet onto the end of his gun before a large tentacle formed and swatted the beasts away. Lapis had managed to save him from becoming a marsh-monster-meal, and it seemed that her and Tilnak had erected the barrier! With a gap formed in the Makara's formation, Hector would figure that the strange mud-enjoying man might have a point that they should move. ...Also, his jokes were terrible. Not able to descend and run in the mud without risking being eaten, Hector would holster his rifle and leap from the branch he was perched on, Herne coiling tightly around his wrist and deftly wrap around branches as Hector followed both Scarlett and the goggled man. The blinding light from the stranger's bomb had knocked out Hector's sight, but thankfully Herne was seeing for him.

A sharp hiss signaled that it was time for Hector to land, the marksman hurrying to his feet after barely sticking the landing. They would huddle inside of an abandoned shack that reeked of...something. Something acrid and foul. Unnatural scents manufactured, not born. Bringing the collar of his coat to his mouth, Hector would cough twice. "What a stench... he said, trying to see if he could identify any of these chemicals. He'd learned to mix medicine a few times in the army, and thought that, perhaps, he could at least inform the party if there was any danger in staying here. "Be careful not to touch anything. This might be why the Makara are-"

His words were broken by Scarlett gathering materials rapidly, her arm still not regenerated fully. As much as Hector wasn't a fan of her, he didn't want her to bleed out or die form her injuries. As such, he'd approach from her side and intoned his basic Healing Prayer spell, giving Scarlett's regeneration a boost. Well, he didn't know that at least. He was just hoping to staunch the bleeding on what would be, to most people, a permanent injury. She would fix her hair and give Hector a shock by revealing a third eye...and then another shock came when blood vessels burst from her arm to open a barrel.

And a final one came when the alchemist savage dunked her entire head into the drum of hazardous chemicals. Mouth agape and expression matched by Herne who, admittedly, was also EXTREMELY confused at her course of action, both master and summon would grab Scarlett by her shoulders to attempt to pull her out. "What are you doing, you fool!? Who knows what's even in there?"
Just Yesterday...

Sailing alongside the great capital of Zweidaya was a small merchant vessel; Nothing particularly special about it. The guards were so-so, the goods of moderate value, and the make of it unimpressive...

But, did a pirate need to rob someone only if they were rich? The vessel had yet to dock at Zweidaya, and was in a blind spot for the great sand ship. Now was the optimal time to strike. The patheticness of it all only added to the ease of the score, the small-time group of pirates utilizing a harpoon to suddenly spear the stern of the ship. "Pirates!" one of the merchants cried out, the lack of guards inciting panic in the two merchants standing beside a woman who couldn't be more out of place if she tried. Fanning herself with a folding fan and using a parasol to shield herself from the sun, she'd even tied a handkerchief over her face to keep sand from flying into her mouth. Her attire wasn't suited at all to the climate she found herself in, the young woman clearly some sort of merchant's daughter. "Ah...right...I'd been told Al-Marabar had a large population of pirates," she said, seeming to be baking in the sun.

"Miss d’Aureville, I told you we should have hired on guards!" the older of the two merchants shouted, shaking the young woman by her shoulders. Sighing, she would gently place her hands atop his and say: "There's a very good reason for us being unarmed. And that's because..." the apparent leader of the three would say, before she was interrupted by the crashing of the pirates' bow into the back of their ship. In an instant, three of the pirates would board, crawling over the back railing and brandishing blades and spears, one with a gun holding the three would-be merchants at gunpoint. "Stay nice and still, and nobody has to die today."

Immediately, the goods in transit, covered by a tarp bound with rope were uncovered. Sterling marble of high quality that gleamed in the sun of the sand sea. Heavy, but surprisingly valuable for such a small ship. "Heh, lucky for us! These morons were carrying something good after all!" the spear-bearing pirate commented, before throwing the tarp back on.

Remaining silent with their hands up, the two male merchants bit their tongues, cursing the foolishness of the girl that hired them. ...But, who cared, it was her money being wasted with the goods stolen, and no guards hired. So long as they didn't put up a fight, odds were good that they would get out of this unharmed-

"Those aren't yours to take," Miss d’Aureville said, rising from her seat, only to be met with a spear pointed right at her throat. Reaching over while she was held up, the sword-bearing pirate would tear the handkerchief from her face and grab her chin. "Not bad looking. Might fetch a good price on the lower decks."

At having her face exposed to sand passing by, and her face being touched, the lady-im-patience would furrow her brow, the unseen accessory hanging off of her belt came alight with a soft purple glow, and the back of her hand would collide with the swordsman's cheek. At the very point of contact, a small bundle of purple Electro energy formed and slammed into his face once the slap collided. What would only have made an average person flinch slightly instead sent him flying directly into his spear-holding companion, knocking them both off of the sand ship entirely and into the sea of sand below. "HOLY SHIT!" the only remaining intruder shouted, not expecting a sudden literal thunderclap.

Taking aim, the gun-bearing pirate would mutter some curse that a dignified lady dare not repeat before suddenly having a hammer thrown at his head, perfectly smacking his schnoz enough to make it let out a sickening crunch. ...A crunch so nasty sounding that even she flinched. "Oh...oh my..." she said, underestimating how much damage that would do as her hammer slid down the man's face, and his body promptly fell back off the ship. Seeing as this had already gone incredibly south with the realization that one of the passengers of their target was a vision holder, the pirates would cut the harpoon connecting them, before peeling off to go pick up their fallen comrades.

Standing in confusion, the two merchants watched the woman who had fended off three men with ease look at her bloodied hammer, and very gingerly start washing it, seeming adverse to even touching blood. "I'd meant to hit his chest..." Alina d’Aureville grumbled. Deciding that it wasn't worth the headache to ask questions, the two would go back to piloting the ship. Once they reached Zweidaya, she wouldn't be their problem anymore.


@Enkryption@AzureKnight
Ah, Zweidaya! Alina had been waiting a long time to make the journey here. The land of the legendary Archon Axon, the Sand Sea's King and a living legend. If ever there was a figure to inspire a grand sculpture, it'd likely be him. Alina had secured fine marble, making her way from Yato to Al-Marabar and sparing no expense (except on personal guards) and suffered greatly (she got a little sand in her mouth one time) to come to the moving kingdom. While she was excited, she was also a touch wary due to the unsavory welcome she'd received, and the ill-rumors of the lower decks of the ship.

A majority of the marble she'd brought with her would be sold rather quickly, the quality goods likely to be shipped to other nations for a tidy profit, leaving the artist with a fair amount of money to herself, and a few pieces of marble to be held for her. She'd have to get an audience with the Archon, or at least see him to get inspiration. Talking to him would be ideal, but she wasn't quite naïve enough to think the ruler of a nation would make time for an artist. Even one as (decently) accomplished as she was. She'd have to learn his haunts and how to sneak a sketch or two in.

The prospect was already exciting her a little, already imagining a grand full-sized sculpture of the Archon on the bow of his ship, blade in hand. Perhaps there were even some local legends to draw a scene from. Speaking of a scene...one was unfolding right in front of her. One woman bearing the air of a vagabond burst free of a crate, while another woman who seemed...oddly familiar doused her in water. Then, the vagabondian woman would suddenly burst forward and knock the water-wielding woman down, foot on her throat. Whatever was happening, it...was confusing. Were they enemies? Had they only just met? Alina had absolutely no idea. But she felt like, as a woman of upstanding morals, she had to intervene so that nobody would get hurt.

Running the short distance over, she would say: "Ladies, please, there's no need for violence," while also wondering if any guards were coming to check on the disturbance. After all, this was a place of commerce...
It seemed that Brandy was the type that preferred other stuff in her coffee...a luxury Alice didn't afford much of growing up, seeing as her family was kinda dirt poor. But hey, now she knew! Giving her satyr friend a reassuring pat on the head while she balked at the bitter aroma of black coffee, Alice let out a tiny chuckle. "Its more for the waking up effect it has," she said, ears twitching as she raised the mug back to her own lips and finishing her coffee off. "I think that we should head back to Litroot. Getting into a fight with a Necromancer was fun and all, but I still think we're not quite ready for big jobs on the regular," Alice said, starting to brush her tail.

Despite Sofia's best efforts, she wasn't able to escape the awkward situation in time, as Brandy ran right into her and bowled the undead over. The undead was thankful that her head hadn't come off, but it was certainly in a compromising position. "I-I am SO sorry! I'd meant to bring you two breakfast but you seemed busy," she said, the loaves of bread at least making it out okay in the chaos...but the water she brought was spilt all over the undead's clothes.

Alice would hear the ruckus and come out, tilting her head as she observed the two. "Brandy, you really need to slow down...C'mon Sofia, let's get you dried off," Alice said, helping the two up and promptly dragging Sofia inside to give her a change of clothes. Admittedly they were Alice's, but they seemed to fit alright enough on the undead. A little tight in the chest, but otherwise manageable. Now she looked more like a farm girl than a ranger in a cotton dress. "I-I have clothes of my own! A-Aren't my legs showing a bit too much?" the revenant stammered, tugging the hem of her skirt to try and hide more of her thighs.

"This is showing WAY less skin than your armor does though...," Alice said, pulling Sofia out and showing Brandy the slightly less edgy Revenant's temporary clothes. "Me and Brandy were talking, and I think we should head back to Litroot. What do you think Sofia?"

Sofia was fiddling with her skirt, grumbling: "Hate skirts..." while she fidgeted. She'd answer after a moment though, still a bit self conscious as she said: "Seeing as I have chosen you two as my party, I'll abide by any decisions made. After all, you are my seniors," Sofia said, also adding: "Plus...I'm a touch sick of Gnarlton. ...I have some bad memories from here."
Liliana

@Enkryption, @Restalaan, @AzureKnight, @Hammerman


With a queen at her back and a noble stee(d)r beneath her, Liliana had never felt like such a proper knight before. Now all she needed to complete the picture was a set of rose pink armor and a nice, convenient breeze through her hair. Because after all, no knight she'd ever read about wore a helmet!

Riding with no indication of where Takeshi even was, she would only be able to follow Alice's directions and coming upon the scene of the battle, the cow making a sharp turn that was impossible for an ordinary bovine. Huffing proudly, it would then proceed to collapse and pant for its life after Liliana and Alice got off, the fairy gently patting its side. "You did great, my noble steed! I promise that if I ever summon you again, I won't have you run so long," she said sweetly while the cow faded away, the summon wearing off.

After proving that Summon Cow was, indeed, the greatest spell, Liliana would proudly stand before the members of the task force, Yurine, Takeshi, and their adversaries before pulling her sword from her back. "Watch out everyone, I'm at least a hundred...no...a hundred and one times stronger now!-" she said, before Hinami promptly launched herself at one of the enemy spearmen, and uh...

Yeah, that guy's dead. Like, super dead. Like, raised the age rating of an rp that was based on an 18+ concept somehow dead.

The jubilant fairy was speechless, a touch pale as she saw that. The friendly hobgoblin she'd met a while back was distracting her but...wasn't this how undead used to act? Shaking off that feeling, Liliana would charge into battle against the other Dragon Warrior, letting Gringor focus a bit better without three enemies to worry about. From the moment her sword touched the Dragon Warrior's though, she could sense a great disparity in their swordsmanship. Just fighting with her sword was out of the question.

...But, she knew now from her training that she wasn't that great a swordsman. Or magician. Or strategian. Or fistfighter. ...Or uh...but...

But none of that mattered! Because now, Liliana had the confidence that she could defeat absolutely anyone in a way that only she could. "Whimsy, pretty please with cherries on top!" she pleaded, narrowly parrying a blow meant to take her head off before magic surged in her blade, then channeled back down to her arms. Before, she'd learned that she could "stack" spells onto her own body, like Anti-Magic field and Haste, but this time she was going to try using an offensive spell.

"One..." the fairy said as her wooden sword seemed to catch fire, a white hot torrent of magma beginning to swell up from the hilt of her blade. "Two," Liliana said, before fading from sight entirely, the only indication she was there now being the extreme heat her blade exuded. "Three! Now I'm unbeatable! Wah-Ha-Ha!" the fairy shouted, giving away her position and promptly receiving a slash to where her throat would be, a magical barrier in the form of a thick pane of glass taking the blow before the magic-cutting blades of the Dragon Warrior tore right through it.

"Wah! That's cheating!" the invisible cheating fairy exclaimed, having narrowly avoided the blow by using Size Trick to shrink herself. Now an invisible, flaming, annoyed annoyance, Liliana would fly around the Dragon Warrior, proving nearly impossible to hit as she slashed away at his body, mostly at his wrist to try and disarm him. "Gaia Hazard: Magma Fly!"

Eula

@Rezod92, @Xaltwind


Eula's pleasant walk back to the village was interrupted, the automaton finding herself lost in memories and space itself, as she was suddenly being accosted by four armed ruffians. Varjans, from the make of their equipment. It seemed they wanted information, and thought the lone young woman ("young being relative when you're a robot") would make for an easy target. Three of them seemed rather weak, as far as human warriors went, but the larger, more decorated and armed man would potentially prove problematic.

Just as Eula's fingers twitched, ready to begin disarming them and stunning them, a familiar looking hornet woman blindsided one of them. Now was no time to hesitate, as Eula promptly grabbed the face of one of the Varjan shield-bearers and unleashed a small lancet of stunning demonic energy, before immediately tossing him like a projectile at the most dangerous looking target. With mechanical precision the grown man would be hurtled towards his superior, before Eula stopped and picked up the dropped shield from her human fastball. She would use it to block a slash from the already armed swordsman, before breaking away from him and going after the elite soldier.

"My apologies, but I'll take the one with the mace," she said as she passed Kerry, preparing to duel the most dangerous target. With a shield, she'd at least be able to avoid having one of her arms damaged again, and she'd likely have to disarm her opponent. She didn't know if Varjan steel resisted magic, but now that her magic bolt had been seen once, it was unlikely that she'd get a chance to use it on him.

To Relica, an accomplished engineer, the sight of an Automaton with a non-standard model might prove an interesting sight. Usually they focused solely on ranged attacks, but this one was diving headlong into melee.
Liliana



@Enkryption
"...Ha...Mm...Nn...Nnnnn..." Liliana grumbled, having worked up the will to leave her flower at the training grounds and return, only to find a comfy flower to mope in cradled amongst a pile of weeds. She was still rather upset with how her training had ended, and that Shizuka's advice boiled down to: "Sure, you may be the literal worst fighter of the entire group training, but you're special! Just work on what you're good at!"

...What do you work on when you're good for nothing?

Moping a bit harder, Liliana was actually starting to physically lose color, going monochromatic as she tried to think of what she'd done...like, at all right. Her big snake thing only made Alice's situation worse, and her magic punchy rush didn't even dent Shizuka after she made big talk about only using magic to fight. Shizuka had told her to come at her with everything she had, and she hadn't used a single directly offensive magic spell. Curling up a bit more, her wings shriveled a bit as she realized she'd disrespected him, and everyone else by holding herself back like that. Maybe the task force would be better off without her-

"After Lord Takeshi left, I saw some of my men take off after him without telling me. I have a bad feeling about this so I intend to follow."

...

...

...Takeshi was in trouble!?

The fairy sprang back to life, eyes focused on Kikyo as she spoke to Alice and the others that had returned from training. Launching herself from the flower she was in, Liliana's wilted wings sprang back to life as she rocketed towards the conversation at hand, her TOTALLY NOBLE eavesdropping renewing her vigor as color returned to her form. Feeling bad for the horse that Alice was standing atop, she would channel her magic once more into herself, focusing harder as she remembered what Shizuka said in like...specifics, this time.

"Instead of comparing yourself to others, continue to use the principles you’ve learned in this training to shape your magic in a way that feels natural to you."

"Whimsy, can I pretty please with honey on top get Giant's Strength?" the fairy asked, at which the splinter-sword on her back considered it for a moment, and would cycle magic a grand total of two times, resulting in a cow suddenly appearing under Liliana, and a burst of healing magic to erupt from her that washed over the nothing around her. Returning to human size, Liliana would suddenly ride in on a cow next to Kikyo, her tiny arms looking no different, but having the strength of ten thousand men. Enough so that she would gently pick Alice up by her legs like a goal post, saying: "Your Highness, this is no time for axe pointing and horse standing! We have to save Takeshi!"

...The sight was ridiculous to behold, but...every knight needed a steed. Even if Liliana's was just a dairy cow.
Eula



...Well.

This was certainly a day, thus far.

While the bandits were busy packing up and heading out to the temple, Eula was left...oddly baffled. This result was desirable, optimal even, so why did she have the burning urge to snap the tree beside her in half? She didn't think she was particularly vain but...

Shaking such thoughts from her head after a solid minute of thought, the automaton would gather up the abandoned supplies before she wasted too much processing power on imagining "ballistics" upgrades. She would return to her charge, and deposit the food...

And, depart without another word beyond a slight bow. She already knew that she'd been deceived yet again...but what point was there in exposing this woman? If she had the guilt to feel bad about robbing bandits, she wouldn't have lied to Eula to get their food in the first place. It wasn't likely that the bandits would return to this area for now, but...something was bugging Eula. Why was there a need for deception to begin with?

In Eula's mind, humans were proving far more complicated to understand than she'd anticipated. Good people, bad people...what was the defining characteristic? What was the discerning variable? Was all of her data worthless? Thus far, she'd only encountered rather decent farming folk before joining the task force, so the idea that there were Shizuyamans willing to deceive her and bandits that could rob others, even kill other humans...

It was a fundamental contradiction in her mind. returning to the temple, she would report that Honoka was now fine, having been given enough food to last for a few weeks, at least. With her task completed, Eula would begin considering what to do next while crouching beside a crate. Her mind would be occupied with humanity's nature, before a delicate mewling came from the right of her. Something soft brushed against her leg, as a young black cat nestled up against her. Showing no fear, this creature would rub around her leg before marching on its way.

That brief touch, that momentary warmth of life against her, was enough to make Eula smile. ...She was happy, in spite of being lied to. She didn't have to hurt anyone today.

"Well yeah, life's precious! That's why we were built to protect it, right? You and me, Eula! So long as you and I have power, we're as good as golden, or my name isn't - [STRING MISSING, ABORTING MEMORY READ]"

Her head hurt again, but...Eula wished she'd had those memories. Whoever her first friend was...they were still alive in her data banks. Her face, her voice...garbled, but there.

Rising to her feet, Eula would have the faintest of smiles on her usually frigid face, her slightly damaged arm being cradled by her intact one. She still had a lot of things worth protecting. Now, she was free to join others for more missions, or to just rest and repair her arm.
Hector Wyland



[@Croc Crush]

With a fair amount of preparation being done for the village, Hector was eyeing the Represent that Scarlett had given to him. He wasn't familiar with combat drugs or...really, drugs in general beyond some minor medicinal ones. He honestly wanted no part in whatever concoction this was but...well, Scarlett's judgement wasn't all that bad. Perhaps she had a good reason to think he'd need something like this. Lapis and Tilnak had the defensive perimeter secured, freeing up Shavis and Hector to patrol. When the Beluan woman asked whether they'd be difficult to fight, he would reply with: "Difficult to say, but the terrain is definitely to their advantage. In all likelihood, those huge gash marks indicate large frames with strong enough muscles to push through the thick mud of the swamp. But, the fact that they can't all just come on land and wipe the village out speaks to a weakness-" While Hector rambled about creatures he scarcely had information about, there was a "flaring up" from the spirit attached to Scarlett, one that indicated that an enemy had approached.

Hector was almost immediately vindicated in his decision to track Scarlett with a his magic, and would nod at Shavis' words. "Be careful not to get bitten. My healing magic can only do so much," he said, before scrambling up a nearby tree for a vantage point. Grabbing his rifle, he would double check his ammunition, load his gun, and use his sole functioning eye to look down its length. Confirming the situation at hand, he'd feel his stomach lurch a bit at the state of Scarlett's arm. ...Had one of the Makara torn it off like that? Why were her veins...pulsing? Shaking his head, he'd try his best to remember that this was more of her macabre self-mutilating magic. She was just like that, so there was no point worrying. Even if it was somewhat disgusting seeing her dig into the beast like it was a stuffed pig.

Now securely in position, Hector would whisper something under his breath, a slight flicker of movement down his arm barely visible in the shade of the tree while Herne climbed along his arm. The phantom snake would coil its tailaround his dominant hand's wrist, while the bulk of its body bound and held his gun as a stabilizer. Flicking its tongue out, Herne would peek his head to the side, swaying under the gun to check for enemies to the bottom, right, and left of Hector while he maintained focus. In its own way, Herne being weak and indiscernible was one of his greatest strengths.

Now, the two working in tandem could provide overwatch for their comrades, the spirit stuck on Scarlett's shoulder beginning to move away from her, and back to him. Its task was done, and now he needed to only focus on the Makara that might be coming.

@Sho Minazuki

Added the changes to Avant Garde. And, while I do like the idea of a servant following her around, it doesn't especially fit with her backstory now that she's left her family's fortune, and all.


Local 1%er is probably going to get kidnapped by sand pirates.
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