Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aiyanna
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Aiyanna Elven Envoy

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Hi peeps ~ I'm still alive, not to worry. I'm sorry I just disappeared without notice. ;~; Zafi will be back eventually.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ookawa
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Ookawa The professional non-professional

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Hi peeps ~ I'm still alive, not to worry. I'm sorry I just disappeared without notice. ;~; Zafi will be back eventually.


Welcome back :3
I am new in this group, but still!
More people~!
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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More requested edits made?

EDIT: Requested edits by Kalleth have been made.

Hopefully good to go?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Kalleth
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Kalleth Let me tell you / a story friend...

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More requested edits made?

Hopefully good to go?


History's acceptable, but the personality is not detailed enough. It reads like a propaganda pamphlet for one of the Living Saints of the Adeptus Sororitas. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of a semi-holy knight of light chick, but based on the personality details that you've given, I have no clue if this character is every bit the perfect little angel or if she has a darker side. Does she have any doubts? And aside from her element, and her history at the academy, what else makes her tick? I would recommend to you to take the character, and isolate her from the RP. Then go back and read what you put down for personality, and try and discern what this character is actually like based solely on the description, as if somebody else were describing her to you. Because all I got was; Hardass, disciplined, soft hearted. I hope you can see why I can't accept a personality description that can be summarized in three words.

There are a lot of places you can go with this. The theme of trying to avoid/purge one's darker side, and having it backfire severely on the character is one we've already begun digging into in the RP, and a character who embodies that struggle could be very useful. I'm just asking you to expand, provide depth, and layers of complexity to your character which will aid you greatly in giving your character a narrative direction. That one line about her nightmares and trying to purge the darkness in her soul smacks of unnecessary edginess, unless you substantiate and contextualize it sufficiently to where I can empathize with the character, and understand her more deeply than; "She's a badass light knight with a deep inner struggle that means she puts up walls around herself and pushes others away." That's what I expect when you summarize, not explain in depth your character's personality.

So my answer is no, at least until you come up with a description of your character's personality that fulfills my expectation of giving me a glimpse into who Jeanne is, as opposed to who everybody else thinks she is. If you'd like examples of acceptable character profiles, I'd cite my own and Zelosse's as examples of standards to try and meet, though Crusader Lord's CS personalities probably most closely resemble what I'd like to see from your own character's description in terms of details.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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<Snipped quote by Feisty-Pants>

History's acceptable, but the personality is not detailed enough. It reads like a propaganda pamphlet for one of the Living Saints of the Adeptus Sororitas. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of a semi-holy knight of light chick, but based on the personality details that you've given, I have no clue if this character is every bit the perfect little angel or if she has a darker side. Does she have any doubts? And aside from her element, and her history at the academy, what else makes her tick? I would recommend to you to take the character, and isolate her from the RP. Then go back and read what you put down for personality, and try and discern what this character is actually like based solely on the description, as if somebody else were describing her to you. Because all I got was; Hardass, disciplined, soft hearted. I hope you can see why I can't accept a personality description that can be summarized in three words.

There are a lot of places you can go with this. The theme of trying to avoid/purge one's darker side, and having it backfire severely on the character is one we've already begun digging into in the RP, and a character who embodies that struggle could be very useful. I'm just asking you to expand, provide depth, and layers of complexity to your character which will aid you greatly in giving your character a narrative direction. That one line about her nightmares and trying to purge the darkness in her soul smacks of unnecessary edginess, unless you substantiate and contextualize it sufficiently to where I can empathize with the character, and understand her more deeply than; "She's a badass light knight with a deep inner struggle that means she puts up walls around herself and pushes others away." That's what I expect when you summarize, not explain in depth your character's personality.

So my answer is no, at least until you come up with a description of your character's personality that fulfills my expectation of giving me a glimpse into who Jeanne is, as opposed to who everybody else thinks she is. If you'd like examples of acceptable character profiles, I'd cite my own and Zelosse's as examples of standards to try and meet, though Crusader Lord's CS personalities probably most closely resemble what I'd like to see from your own character's description in terms of details.


Done now, I think?

See the CS above, didn't think it was necessary to copy paste just two posts away.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Kalleth
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Kalleth Let me tell you / a story friend...

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@Feisty-Pants

You've impressed me. Your tenacity is admirable, and your CS equally so. A standard setter for the books, consider yourself accepted and then some. And well... Let's just say that this will pay you back tenfold down the line. A quality character makes for quality RP.

Welcome aboard. :)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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@Feisty-Pants

You've impressed me. Your tenacity is admirable, and your CS equally so. A standard setter for the books, consider yourself accepted and then some. And well... Let's just say that this will pay you back tenfold down the line. A quality character makes for quality RP.

Welcome aboard. :)


Glad to be here!!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zelosse
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I'm gonna assume liferusher isn't gonna speak up and just say that you're officially accepted. Welcome aboard!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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I'm gonna assume liferusher isn't gonna speak up and just say that you're officially accepted. Welcome aboard!


Thank you! So I now have permission to post?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zelosse
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@Feisty-Pants assuming you've read the ic a bit and can follow along, yes
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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@Feisty-Pants assuming you've read the ic a bit and can follow along, yes


I think I followed mostly, there was a little spat at the gym, but things have moved forward to the proving grounds.

Also, posted. ^_^;

It's a bit short for what I usually do, but as I haven't posted anything significant in just under a year, I'm shaking off a bit of rust.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Saltwater Thief
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Saltwater Thief The Wild Card

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Defunct post as of now, please ignore.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Regitnui
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@Feisty-Pants let's see if she can find Zeke.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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@Feisty-Pants let's see if she can find Zeke.


Well, let's hope that Zeke makes an impression. XD
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zelosse
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The first of many IC posts is up. I'm aware that the objective is rather vague so worry not; theres really no wrong answer. You all have an idea of what your character can do with their powers so show us! Have a little fun with it.

This is only part one of three, so please don't go overboard.

Teachers! Do what a teacher would do, and shower compliments down upon those who have completed the objective. Offer advice, praise the display, or fret over their safety. Its all about interaction right now.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Regitnui
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@Zelosse Would Zeke drawing something be considered adequate, if unusual? My first instinct is that he paint a mural on the walls and floor of the pit.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Feisty-Pants
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@Zelosse Would Zeke drawing something be considered adequate, if unusual? My first instinct is that he paint a mural on the walls and floor of the pit.


I think that he should be using his powers, not drawing. O.o

The first of many IC posts is up. I'm aware that the objective is rather vague so worry not; theres really no wrong answer. You all have an idea of what your character can do with their powers so show us! Have a little fun with it.

This is only part one of three, so please don't go overboard.

Teachers! Do what a teacher would do, and shower compliments down upon those who have completed the objective. Offer advice, praise the display, or fret over their safety. Its all about interaction right now.


Aye aye, cap'n!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Regitnui
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@Feisty-Pants Oh, but that is his power...
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Ookawa
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Ookawa The professional non-professional

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I hope you enjoyed Thora's flashy display <3
She announced now that she won't be invisible anymore xP

Also, I hope my writing style can satisfy. ^^
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Spriggs27
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<Snipped quote by Zelosse>

I think I followed mostly, there was a little spat at the gym, but things have moved forward to the proving grounds.

Also, posted. ^_^;

It's a bit short for what I usually do, but as I haven't posted anything significant in just under a year, I'm shaking off a bit of rust.


Eh, just two students trying to kill each other, Happens every other Tuesday don't worry about it.
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