Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Supermaxx
Raw
Avatar of Supermaxx

Supermaxx dumbass

Member Seen 20 days ago

I think I fixed everything. Maybe. I'm in a weird sleepless haze right now, so I might've missed something.



Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Vec
Raw
Avatar of Vec

Vec Liquid Intelligence

Member Seen 26 days ago

@Vec

-redacted-

Only one thing I had to correct on the formatting end of things, though the… interesting choice of font will take some getting used to.

...and that's all I really have to say. Outside of the weird font choice and some miffs here and there I see nothing I can really critique without being guilty of nitpicking. So, heh. You came, you saw, and you applied. It's great when I don't have to critique because I can focus on other stuff like the prospective IC!


yeah, midway I kinda regretted changing everything to small caps, but I couldn't really write everything all over again in lower case, so I just stuck with it through the whole thing XD
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MissCapnCrunch
Raw
coGM
Avatar of MissCapnCrunch

MissCapnCrunch Pᴏʟɪᴛᴇ & Pᴇᴄᴜʟɪᴀʀ / Pɪʀᴀᴛᴇ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇss

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@Turboshitter

How did you find those private videos of me on the internet of all places?!
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Xiro Zean
Raw
Avatar of Xiro Zean

Xiro Zean Redundant Writer of Redundantness

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Xiro Zean


Had to attribute character color to the section headers, but that’s about it on the “Gowi is a OCD moron” front. So let's get to the meat of things. This... this might take awhile to read.

Benchmarks: If you are content with lacking a full physical list, no comments here.

Um... it's good? Excellent really. Good to go.



Horrah! My stupidly-long-to-make-CS wasn't utterly annihilate- Uh, I mean... Thanks :D

There is a lack of Physical Benchmarks to underline Ochre's main role: A merchant. Most of his time in Pariah was taken up in his Armorsmithing and selling his pieces off. There wasn't really much time to build up on any sort of Physical Benchmarks for him, but I guess if I really wanted to I could give him enhanced strength for working at his forge for so long... Or give him some sort of Benchmark that could make up for his lack of presence on the battlefield.

Sure, he can fight as well as any other Adventurer who has played as long as he has, but don't expect for his efforts to be seen at first glance.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by shylarah
Raw
coGM
Avatar of shylarah

shylarah the crazy one

Member Seen 31 min ago

@Xiro Zean I notice in one section you say he seems like he'd be more suited to Draethir than Queon...but he's Sikth. Think one of those is incorrect.
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Xiro Zean
Raw
Avatar of Xiro Zean

Xiro Zean Redundant Writer of Redundantness

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@shylarah

Ah, whoops XD I originally made him Queon, but rethought his personality and changed him to Sikth. Good eye, I'll fix that immediately.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by shylarah
Raw
coGM
Avatar of shylarah

shylarah the crazy one

Member Seen 31 min ago

@Xiro Zean hahaha, I know this feeling all too well. ^.^;;
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gowi
Raw
GM
Avatar of Gowi

Gowi

Member Seen 10 mos ago

The GM did not even see such mistakes!

@Superboy

u good bro
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gowi
Raw
GM
Avatar of Gowi

Gowi

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@Archmage MC

I have not forgotten about you, I'll get to your review today at some point; I'm very busy wrapping up some things. Also, I'm on mobile so.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Archmage MC
Raw
Avatar of Archmage MC

Archmage MC

Member Seen 21 hrs ago

@Archmage MC

I have not forgotten about you, I'll get to your review today at some point; I'm very busy wrapping up some things. Also, I'm on mobile so.


Thats ok. If you review me and I don't reply right away I probably fell asleep. Had insomnia so I'm expecting to crash any moment.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Stern Algorithm
Raw
Avatar of Stern Algorithm

Stern Algorithm Loquacious Aggression

Member Seen 14 hrs ago

Hey, I saw @NarcissisticPotato's recruitment thread and have been lurking for a while. Here is my character, please let me know if it works. My character is essentially a control mage who has made herself too much trouble to be worth killing.

@Gowi



Also, @Xiro Zean, I was thinking, since Tessa doesn't farm her own materials, and Ochre not only farms his own materials but also crafts armor, maybe our two characters can have a working relationship? Her weird armor was crafted by him, and she enchanted it, while she occasionally procures materials from him.
2x Like Like 2x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gowi
Raw
GM
Avatar of Gowi

Gowi

Member Seen 10 mos ago

One question (on my phone in bed; gotta get up in the morning), why do I see a mecha? :F
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by shylarah
Raw
coGM
Avatar of shylarah

shylarah the crazy one

Member Seen 31 min ago

@Stern Algorithm I /love/ your quote. But I very much disagree with whomever claims science in fantasy settings kills catgirls -- after all, scientific magic is very much a trope. <3
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

oops v2. @Gowi I was making all the changes, but I have to go help someone out at 2 in the morning...
The visage was changed tho. Hopefully I changed it correctly, I looked at the other chars for inspiration.

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Xiro Zean
Raw
Avatar of Xiro Zean

Xiro Zean Redundant Writer of Redundantness

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Stern Algorithm

It could work, especially since Ochre was originally meant to be a Queon as well XD While he isn't anymore, he still has many of his Queon-ish aspects, and would probably enjoy designing and smithing Tessa's armor. Because he has more of a Support role than anything (though he is capable of pulling off Tank-like aspects while wearing heavy duty gear), defeating monsters while keeping them relatively intact on his own is very difficult. Having an assistant in that instance would be highly beneficial. Coupling that, since he has next to zero talent in enchantment, and with Tessa known for her low prices, I could also see a business venture in enchanting the higher-end products he creates with general enhancements, such as increased durability and other minor upgrades.
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Stern Algorithm
Raw
Avatar of Stern Algorithm

Stern Algorithm Loquacious Aggression

Member Seen 14 hrs ago

One question (on my phone in bed; gotta get up in the morning), why do I see a mecha? :F


I just want to know if this is you shitposting or legitimately asking a question. If the latter, I will answer, otherwise, carry on.

@Stern Algorithm I /love/ your quote. But I very much disagree with whomever claims science in fantasy settings kills catgirls -- after all, scientific magic is very much a trope. <3


Honestly, it was just a gif I saw circulating a decade ago:



Speaking of which, I can't find the post of our resident catgirl in the characters section.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Vec
Raw
Avatar of Vec

Vec Liquid Intelligence

Member Seen 26 days ago

@Stern Algorithm I think his questions was legit. This is a fantasy world.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gowi
Raw
GM
Avatar of Gowi

Gowi

Member Seen 10 mos ago

Speaking of which, I can't find the post of our resident catgirl in the characters section.

After PM delegation we found ourselves incompatible in a working environment— I’m not going to say much more beyond that out of respect for them, but yeah that character is no longer with us for those reasons. As for my inquiry last night in bed, I was casually wondering why I saw the core picture that you chose. It’s out of curiosity more than anything else.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Gowi
Raw
GM
Avatar of Gowi

Gowi

Member Seen 10 mos ago

@Thecrash20

I still sort of feel iffy with this phrasing in your skill of Perfect Parries for pretty much the same reasons. Did you revise your benchmarks like I suggested?— because I am noticing the two central ones I mentioned in this review are pretty much the same:

On the mental side of things there’s two or so bits I have issue with. Firstmost I would say Deceitful Appearance isn’t a benchmark because it’s an inherent thing rather than something that was achieved through in-game study, training, or experience. He just happens to be shorter than normal? That’s not what I intended the benchmarks to be. Take a look at my CS for Hanako, BubbleGumKing’s for Marcelino, or even some working sheets such as the one from Superboy to see as a good measure of benchmarks. Make sure they are explained as if achieved.

The other issues I have are with Tracker’s Gut for similar reasons (there is no explanation to it).

Remember to consider benchmarks are traits that have occurred due to efforts in the simulation; sometimes due to effort, study, training, or habit. Hanako is more fluid with her dodging because of outmaneuvering of opponents, Marcelino is apt at casting spells in combat after experience ignoring distractions on the battlefield, etc.

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Gowi

oops v2. @Gowi I was making all the changes, but I have to go help someone out at 2 in the morning...
The visage was changed tho. Hopefully I changed it correctly, I looked at the other chars for inspiration.


Sorry I was implying that I didn't get time to do the other stuff, just fixed the visage. Since I have time I'll make the final changes soon.

Edit: Actually, I found inspiration for a New character, but stuck with more of the IRl things. Mostly cause I always play the assassin, we have more than Enough of those here.
1x Thank Thank
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet