[OOC] Myriad Reality

[Fractured]

Worst day of 2020 so far.

- had to work
- got sent to a difficult building.
- halfway through, had an allergy attack so bad it hospitalized me. Recieived a shitton of steroids, and an epi shot.

Its wild, lol.

@souleaterfan320

Oh man, I'm glad you're okay.

[souleaterfan320]

<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

Oh man, I'm glad you're okay.

@Fractured

Yup. Now I've got an epi pen.

[Stabby]

<Snipped quote by Stabby>

Shinji: *stumbles around the darkness*

@souleaterfan320

So wait, is he within our line of sight?

[souleaterfan320]

<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

So wait, is he within our line of sight?

@Stabby

Yes.

[Stabby]

@souleaterfan320
I take it Flicker's actions kinda keep derailing where you wanted to go with this?

[souleaterfan320]

@souleaterfan320
I take it Flicker's actions kinda keep derailing where you wanted to go with this?

@Stabby

Not at all. I have multiple paths to follow that end in the same place. Keep going!

[Stabby]

<Snipped quote by Stabby>

Not at all. I have multiple paths to follow that end in the same place. Keep going!

@souleaterfan320

Nice!

[Shadow Dragon]

Who is where at the moment? I'm lost.

[Fractured]

Who is where at the moment? I'm lost.

@Shadow Dragon

Time Line and Claire are in the library, Erza and Nova are in the main area of the base, Techi is outside the base with Misty, Bota, and Shinji's body, and then Ruby, Soren, Spirit, Flicker, and Shinji are in Shinji's mind.

[Shadow Dragon]

Ah, thanks.

[souleaterfan320]

Hey guys.

So uh... I got some news.

Im.... gonna take a break once I finish this arc.

And I'm done roleplaying as Shinji after this.
Shinji was supposed to represent a physical insertion of me into Myriad Reality, and has become something so emotionally draining that I can no longer use him without spiraling into old bouts of depression.

Its physically making me sick to use him. I'd channel these emotions so accurately that is litterally killing me, and reopening old wounds of mine that shouldve stayed closed.

I need to take a hiatus after I finish this arc to focus on bettering myself. Maybe one day when I can handle again, I'll bring shinji back. But once this ends....Im probably done for good with him.

Im sorry if this bothers or upsets you, but its negatively affecting my personal life.

Also... I've said it before but I'm going to get therapy soon. My own issues have sucked me into such a deep low that...I've been thinking of suicide quite often... I...I even told my dad today that if things got so bad that I felt that way that thered be nothing to stop it and he shouldnt blame himself.

I've been lying to you all... the truth is, I'm not okay. I havent ben. Ever. I've been better at times, but never truthfully good. Just stuck in a never ending cycle of mostly self inflicted and uncontrollable pain.

I even almost got back into drinking irresponsibly, in a way that I'd drink to kill pain instead of socialize.

I'm so sorry, y'all. I love you guys, I really do.. .but I cant take it anymore.

[Spiritblitz]

[souleaterfan320]

@Spiritblitz

I saw that, lol.

It's fine, I gave myself some tiem to recuperate. I can talk about it now.

I have to finish the shinji arc soon before college starts. After that, I need to concentrate on that solely, with very little time to post in between. This needs done. Once I'm finished, I'll skip out on my further arcs until college is done. Itll give yall like 2 years to crank out all your stuff until I get mine finished written out, and until I've finished college. Obviously il still post while in college but itll be far less frequent until I can learn to balance the two.

[DELETED jdl3932]

Hey guys.

So uh... I got some news.

Im.... gonna take a break once I finish this arc.

And I'm done roleplaying as Shinji after this.
Shinji was supposed to represent a physical insertion of me into Myriad Reality, and has become something so emotionally draining that I can no longer use him without spiraling into old bouts of depression.

Its physically making me sick to use him. I'd channel these emotions so accurately that is litterally killing me, and reopening old wounds of mine that shouldve stayed closed.

I need to take a hiatus after I finish this arc to focus on bettering myself. Maybe one day when I can handle again, I'll bring shinji back. But once this ends....Im probably done for good with him.

Im sorry if this bothers or upsets you, but its negatively affecting my personal life.

Also... I've said it before but I'm going to get therapy soon. My own issues have sucked me into such a deep low that...I've been thinking of suicide quite often... I...I even told my dad today that if things got so bad that I felt that way that thered be nothing to stop it and he shouldnt blame himself.

I've been lying to you all... the truth is, I'm not okay. I havent ben. Ever. I've been better at times, but never truthfully good. Just stuck in a never ending cycle of mostly self inflicted and uncontrollable pain.

I even almost got back into drinking irresponsibly, in a way that I'd drink to kill pain instead of socialize.

I'm so sorry, y'all. I love you guys, I really do.. .but I cant take it anymore.

@souleaterfan320

Can't say I've experienced exactly the same, but I too have and do contemplate suicide, so I know how you feel.

You'll find no opposition from me Soul, take what time you need, this will still be here.

[souleaterfan320]

Who all is still waiting on replies from me?

[souleaterfan320]

Mansion Theme.

[souleaterfan320]

Back to the work grind.

Day 1 of 4.

12 hr shifts.

Heres to a better me.

[ItMeGritty]

sup homophobes?

[Audacious]

Back to the work grind.

Day 1 of 4.

12 hr shifts.

Heres to a better me.

@souleaterfan320

You got this bro. Grind it out for that sweet rest soon to come.

[Fractured]

<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

You got this bro. Grind it out for that sweet rest soon to come.

@Audacious

^^^^
Almost halfway done.