It doesn't have Topher Grace. That's good enough for me.
Captain Uni
Member
The Artist Formerly Known As Simple Unicycle
STATUS: The bugs are back. 8 days ago
- Last Seen: Online
- Joined: 11 yrs ago
- Posts: 2002 (0.52 / day)
- VMs: 3
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Username history
- Captain Uni 7 mos ago
- ███████████████ 11 yrs ago
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Latest 10 profile visitors:
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Status
Recent Statuses
8 days ago
Current
The bugs are back.
1
like
2 mos ago
If this watch breaks, the foreign exchange market will take a twenty-eight percent hit. People will die.
5 mos ago
bro aren't you 15 go do your homework instead of screaming about your WIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
6
likes
5 mos ago
"No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive."
4
likes
6 mos ago
Thеy needed a stealth soldier, so I put my hands on the hibachi hot plate at Benihana and burned my fuckin fingerprints off. They will not find me.
2
likes
Bio
Absolute clown. Dark and gritty superhero fan fiction guaranteed or your money back.
Most Recent Posts
And here's my own "SPEAK ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER" meme
To any of those who likely saw my place on the Weekly Post Check and responded with "Oh shit, my chance to write a Batman app!", or some similar sentiment...
...
*slowly closes tab with nearly finished Batman app*
It's me. We about to break the fourth wall and get fucking trippy with this shit.
Better yet...
IT WAS GRANT MORRISON ALL ALONG
Edit: Aaaaaaand a couple posts later Byrd references Animal Man, fml.
Using my knowledge of about the first three pages of the IC (well, in some cases I either read ahead or, in Henry's case, kept up with one specific storyline), I decided to finally put together a list of nominations. You're gonna find a lot of the same people as have been on others' lists, but once I finish the IC I'm gonna go over and do a 'runner-up' list which should basically just be considered my nominations part two.
Best Character: @HenryJonesJr's Spider-Gwen Spider-Woman
Pretty much everyone has said everything that I want to say far better than I ever could, but still, I'll try. Before I settled on my take on Punisher, I toyed around with a Spider-Man idea, and I am really glad I didn't go with it because 1) you would've crushed me and 2) your take on a webslinger is far better than anything I could have cooked up. Pretty much every post from you has been gold, and I am absolutely honored to have been the first person to write a crossover with you. Not gonna lie, that was one of my favorite IC interactions in my (admittedly small amount of) years roleplaying. Seriously dude, keep it up. Oh, one last note: we gotta do another crossover at some point, maybe with less derelict buildings crashing down.
Best Character Concept: @Superboy's Blue Beetle
You know what I'm a sucker for? Blue Beetle. You know what else I'm a sucker for? Alien lifeforms taking a human body as their host and potentially hijacking it... Okay the second one is pretty specific but you know what I mean. I haven't reached any of your posts yet as I'm still not too far into the IC, but man, that concept alone is just... Amazing. I'm gonna drown you in likes, good sir.
Best Character Development: @Lord Wraith's Thor
Yeah, like Henry, everyone has said exactly what I wanna say way better than I can and really, I'm not gonna try with this one, because I know I'd butcher it. All I can say is Wraith, I've seen you write some good characters, but this... This is the best.
Best Story: @Byrd Man and John Constantine's assorted misadventures
Considering I'm so far behind I literally had to start back at page one, I am really disappointed in myself for not reading Byrd's posts along with Henry's. He really knows how to tell a good noir crime drama in the supernatural underbelly of a city, and he sprinkles it with just the right amount of dark humor. Honestly, kinda jealous, because I've been cooking up an idea for Year Two but Byrd seems to have taken the spot as local detective man (and rightfully so). Cheers, ya bastard.
Best Post: @AndyC's Toy Soldiers Part 4
On the surface, this seems like a normal post. Supes flies around and punches evil robots from Hell and stuff or something and then Ẁ̶̡̢Ḩ̶͞͠A̴̶̷͠T̶̶̢̨͞ ̧̀͘͡T̶̢H͏̸͘E̶ ̛͡F̀Ų̷̴͘Ç̶̕͟K̢͝ ͏͝I̧͜͡S̸̛͜͡ ̸̶́͡Ǵ̵́͞O̸̢̢Ì͏̧͏̶Ń͟G̕҉͟ ̧̧̨O̢͜N͏̵ ̵̸̡̢͘J̸̡̢̡͜E̷̡̢S̨Ư͜S̷̨̛͜ ̶͏̢C̸̷̡̕H̸̶̨́̕R̴̴̨I͠҉͏S̡͞T̢ ͜͢Ẃ͠H̷̴̵́͢Ą̵T̵͢͢͝ ̵͞͞͝҉Ẃ̷͘͞H̢̀͢͏Ą̨́͜T̴͜ ̶̕͝T̨͢H̴̡̀͘E͏̡̀́͢ ̴̷F̸̴̧͡Ú̸̡C̶͢K̀͘͞ ͝҉̴̶Ẁ̷̧͝Ḩ͠͏͝A͟͢͢͡T̡̧͡ Seriously Andy. You did a good job on this. Honestly kinda jealous of it actually, considering I posted my (far inferior) fourth wall breaking post right after yours. Can't wait to see what you do with Mxyzptlk either.
The John Lees Memorial MVP Award: @Master Bruce
Boring and vanilla choice is boring and vanilla. But really, I was never a part of the Hype games of yesteryear, but from what I've heard, they were some of those amazing, once-in-a-lifetime games that are just the most fun you've ever had, and no one has been able to capture that spirit again. So, to hear that such a beloved experience that quite a few of you cherish is coming back in style and I'm brought along for the ride, well, it warms my little heart. Good on you for bringing nostalgic fun back to some of the old-timers and introducing it to the newcomers, Brucie. Oh, and sidenote, you write what is honestly my favorite Batman ever. You've probably heard that a million times before but here you go, hear it again.
Best Character: @HenryJonesJr's Spider-Gwen Spider-Woman
Pretty much everyone has said everything that I want to say far better than I ever could, but still, I'll try. Before I settled on my take on Punisher, I toyed around with a Spider-Man idea, and I am really glad I didn't go with it because 1) you would've crushed me and 2) your take on a webslinger is far better than anything I could have cooked up. Pretty much every post from you has been gold, and I am absolutely honored to have been the first person to write a crossover with you. Not gonna lie, that was one of my favorite IC interactions in my (admittedly small amount of) years roleplaying. Seriously dude, keep it up. Oh, one last note: we gotta do another crossover at some point, maybe with less derelict buildings crashing down.
Best Character Concept: @Superboy's Blue Beetle
You know what I'm a sucker for? Blue Beetle. You know what else I'm a sucker for? Alien lifeforms taking a human body as their host and potentially hijacking it... Okay the second one is pretty specific but you know what I mean. I haven't reached any of your posts yet as I'm still not too far into the IC, but man, that concept alone is just... Amazing. I'm gonna drown you in likes, good sir.
Best Character Development: @Lord Wraith's Thor
Yeah, like Henry, everyone has said exactly what I wanna say way better than I can and really, I'm not gonna try with this one, because I know I'd butcher it. All I can say is Wraith, I've seen you write some good characters, but this... This is the best.
Best Story: @Byrd Man and John Constantine's assorted misadventures
Considering I'm so far behind I literally had to start back at page one, I am really disappointed in myself for not reading Byrd's posts along with Henry's. He really knows how to tell a good noir crime drama in the supernatural underbelly of a city, and he sprinkles it with just the right amount of dark humor. Honestly, kinda jealous, because I've been cooking up an idea for Year Two but Byrd seems to have taken the spot as local detective man (and rightfully so). Cheers, ya bastard.
Best Post: @AndyC's Toy Soldiers Part 4
On the surface, this seems like a normal post. Supes flies around and punches evil robots from Hell and stuff or something and then Ẁ̶̡̢Ḩ̶͞͠A̴̶̷͠T̶̶̢̨͞ ̧̀͘͡T̶̢H͏̸͘E̶ ̛͡F̀Ų̷̴͘Ç̶̕͟K̢͝ ͏͝I̧͜͡S̸̛͜͡ ̸̶́͡Ǵ̵́͞O̸̢̢Ì͏̧͏̶Ń͟G̕҉͟ ̧̧̨O̢͜N͏̵ ̵̸̡̢͘J̸̡̢̡͜E̷̡̢S̨Ư͜S̷̨̛͜ ̶͏̢C̸̷̡̕H̸̶̨́̕R̴̴̨I͠҉͏S̡͞T̢ ͜͢Ẃ͠H̷̴̵́͢Ą̵T̵͢͢͝ ̵͞͞͝҉Ẃ̷͘͞H̢̀͢͏Ą̨́͜T̴͜ ̶̕͝T̨͢H̴̡̀͘E͏̡̀́͢ ̴̷F̸̴̧͡Ú̸̡C̶͢K̀͘͞ ͝҉̴̶Ẁ̷̧͝Ḩ͠͏͝A͟͢͢͡T̡̧͡ Seriously Andy. You did a good job on this. Honestly kinda jealous of it actually, considering I posted my (far inferior) fourth wall breaking post right after yours. Can't wait to see what you do with Mxyzptlk either.
The John Lees Memorial MVP Award: @Master Bruce
Boring and vanilla choice is boring and vanilla. But really, I was never a part of the Hype games of yesteryear, but from what I've heard, they were some of those amazing, once-in-a-lifetime games that are just the most fun you've ever had, and no one has been able to capture that spirit again. So, to hear that such a beloved experience that quite a few of you cherish is coming back in style and I'm brought along for the ride, well, it warms my little heart. Good on you for bringing nostalgic fun back to some of the old-timers and introducing it to the newcomers, Brucie. Oh, and sidenote, you write what is honestly my favorite Batman ever. You've probably heard that a million times before but here you go, hear it again.
Best Character Concept: @Simple Unicycle's Punisher
It's hard to really re-invent a character like Frank Castle without it seeming dumb - the comics have tried everything from making him a literal angel of death, sticking him in the body of a black man, and even killing him off and sewing him back up into Frankenstein. Simple Unicycle's version of Frank is the best full-on reinterpretation I think I've ever seen, recontextualizing a character that often appears as hollow and soulless (by intention) into someone who almost psychotically thrives on the pain he inflicts on others while also making him a bonafide action star in the vein of John Wick, not to mention a John Woo protagonist. Combined with Simp's ability to write some brutal-ass fight sequences (I especially loved the Nightclub one that preluded his conflict with Spider-Woman), and this may be the most enjoyable Punisher I've read in a long while. Kudos, man.
Bruce-Sempai has noticed me. Excuse me while a squee a little.
*muffled fangirl squeeing in the distance*
Thanks a ton, man. It means a lot.
E: Honestly I think the funniest thing about all this is that I'm not even a huge fan of the Punisher, I just wanted to try my hand at writing some John Woo shit.
It was more like I was upstairs when my mom stabbed my dad and they were arrested before a long string of stays at various family members houses began. 2007.
Best Post: @Simple UnicycleAgain, another super-difficult choice, but I think I have to give it to Uni’s ‘And Then It Was Over’. It felt like a true conclusion to Frank's story so far, which I appreciate. Endings are tricky, and we don’t always do them justice, but I think Uni did. Couple what I feel has become his signature kickass action with Frank’s dry wit narration, and you get a fantastic recipe for a top-notch post. As an aside the Max Payne soundtrack went hand in hand with the post in question, really driving the energy and pace. I don’t usually listen to the music player's provide for their posts, because I usually feel that their choices don’t mesh nearly as well as they think they do, but Uni nailed it here. And if you meant for Jose Gonzales’ “Far Away” to begin playing as soon as I reached the part where Frank returns to his warehouse, then that was a genius move.
Considering 'And Then It Was Over' is my favorite of all the posts I've written, I am overjoyed that you went with it for best post. As for the question of if it was intentional when 'Far Away' begins to play when Frank reaches his warehouse... I'll leave it a secret. ;)
holy shit autoplay that's genius thank you so much
I'm in the same boat as Retired. So far behind on the IC that it should be a crime. However, I am going to try and read through it today and tomorrow so I can toss in my two cents. Then again, not sure if my opinion means jack to anyone here.
Oh, and also, wanted to thank @AndyC for the nomination for Best Character Concept. My goal so far has been for everyone to have as much fun reading my posts as I have writing them, so it's good to hear someone's enjoying them.
Oh, and also, wanted to thank @AndyC for the nomination for Best Character Concept. My goal so far has been for everyone to have as much fun reading my posts as I have writing them, so it's good to hear someone's enjoying them.
<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>
Dolph Lundgren disagrees.
You thrive off of the suffering of others, don't you?
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