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9 yrs ago
dissertation done. can actually post again. yay.
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Ok, I just got back into XCOM, now I kinda want an arc to be messing with all that stuff and maybe forcing our characters into an XCOM like battle for a bit. Dunno if that'd work, but it'd be pretty fun.

Combine them with some zombies maybe. Zombie arc sounds fun.


so what you want is Chryssalids then. you monster, you've doomed us all.
@DracoLunaris
I hate to be one of those people, but your post involves actions that don't take Zer0's into account. Figured I'd point out in case your just overlooked things thinking that Zer0 was still somewhere else or something, but he did just pull off an aerial maneuver to knock the hat off of the Rabbid in question. (Which may or may not work, obviously, but it's still attempted.)


no no it's fine to point that out. my apologies. let me just edit that a quick moment

edit: and done

Level 1 EXP: //////////////////// (9/20)
Location: Ancient Gardens
wordcount: 946


As they approached the battlefield it became clear that the hooded exposition giver did actually know his stuff, or was at least capable of making decent guesses, because here could be found what looked like an ongoing civil war between Galeem’s forces. Two factions of robots fought both each other and the rabbid faction within a racetrack turned junkyard. One set of robots was made up of rather boxy bots who’s main advantage seems to be the deployment of large blue energy shields that guarded them from fire, the other of imitations of crude imitations of the human form armed that came in a multitude of variants, most notable giant titan bots and dedicated healers. Finally it seemed that the rabbids where rapidly approaching their full roster in terms of forces, lacking only valkyries and peek-a-boos if the king remembered his son’s retellings correctly. Frankly this entire war was was a great affront to the noble sport of mario kart in Bowser's opinion, the three way battle making made the usual cart races such a place would contain look like leisurely sunset drives drives in comparison. Finally at the end of the field was someone whose presence could be felt even from this far away, though instead of fear the king notably only experienced a sense of relief.

“OH GOOD. IF THE TOUGH GUY’S ALL DO THAT IT MAKES FINDING GUARDIANS LESS OF A PAIN”

It was a little odd that they looked like one of the human robot variants, yet seemed to be working with a boxy robot but it didn't bother the king too much. Perhaps he was making his minions fight each other as well as the rabbids for his amusement? Not something the king would do personally of course, but these were all just robots after all, so he could see the appeal, wasteful as it might be.

The king himself arrived at this second set of crossroads just in time for the strategy discussion/speeches to commence. Like most of the others these were promptly ignored by the king, though instead of charging head first into the fray Browser instead took an interest in one of the many junk piles found in the scrapyard. While his claws digging through the metallic detritus Bowser made some vaguely affirming noises in response to the centurion and michel’s strategizing before finding what he was looking for.

“AH HA. HAVEN’T SEEN THIS PIECE OF JUNK IN A LONG TIME BUT IT’S PERFECT.” he exclaimed as he dragged a rusty old-fashioned-themed purple cart emblazoned with a spiky mustache emblem from the scrapheap. Bowser promptly rammed his hand through one of the doors before his claws cleaved through the floor of the vehicle, fingers wrapping around the spine of the chassis before stabbing back though the frood once more. Grinning to himself the king marched past the centurion with his improvised tower shield, one inspire by the energy shield equipped Eradicator Omics and Crushers battling in the central field.

“COME ON. LET’S GET YOU A MORE SUITABLE WEAPON.” he said to him, before hurrying after the direction of the team’s leroy jenkins-esque charge.

When bowser arrived at the pit stop the battle was well underway but his arrival most certainly did not go unnoticed, primarily because it was punctuated by a roar and a tire that had been ripped from the Wario Shield smacking into an unfortunate Pyrobot. This resulted in an almost immediate response in the form of a hail of gunfire from most of the combatants not immediately engaged with one of the heros or each other. The king laughed menacingly at the seeming ineffectiveness of this warm welcome.The bullets did minimal damage to his scaled limbs that was quickly repaired by Blazmate, ricocheted off of his shelled chest and made mincemeat of the Wario Shield that did its level best to guard the king’s face, the bulky front hood blocking shots primarily due to defence in depth.

“YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ME” he roared, pointing his free hand past his face guarding shield at the Smasher who had the king’s hat, who at that very moment was somewhat preoccupied with critting ass and sticking fools. Undeterred the king advanced into the chaos rushing forwards as the rabbid’s where thrown into chaos by ratchet’s medic annihilation, ramming his warrior shield in the way of the the Smasher’s overhead swing at roadhog. The two massive shields collided with a mighty clang followed by a the horrendous sound of metal crumpling as the Warrior car turned shield lost the contest of might and was promptly reduced to scrap metal as its structural integrity was brutally compromised and it promptly fell to pieces, leaving the king with sore fingers holding a rather large metal stick that was the car’s spine and a pile of scrap metal at his feet. Still, it its 10 seconds of service it had done its job admirably, keeping Bowser’s face free of lead and leaving the smasher on the backfoot. The king's face was left guarded by naught but warding hands and caught was as of balance by his clash with the Smasher as the massive rabbid was itself, right in time for Zer0's lightning fast attack on it's hat. The ninja dashed into the triple brute melee, navigating though the ocean of big buff boys like a slippery eel to deliver a sword blow to the King's massive stolen hat. Bowser's eyes locked onto this even as he was reeling from the aftershock of the block, watching with bated breath, hoping to see that blow to succeed at dislodging the hat and dreading that it may have harm the hat's occupant.



@thedman
"EXP earned for posting is as follows: <750 words is 1 point, 750-1250 is 2 points, and 1250+ is 3 points"

Level 1 EXP: //////////////////// (7/20)
Location: Ancient Gardens
wordcount: 619

Sadly the Master lacked much in the way of specifics regarding the nature of the guardians. One was identified, some key wielding warrior. That was at least something that was unique enough that it could stand out but as for the rest:

“SO.... THESE GUARDIANS COULD BASICALLY BE ANY ONE OF THESE POSSESSED PEOPLE? OR IS THERE A TELL?”

He asked before Tora’s own question shed some additional light on Galeem’s control. Not direct puppetry but rather evilifying juice. That sounded pretty useful honestly. Bowser filed this away for future schemes. The fact that the guardians where under Galeem’s direct control was of less concern, the king failing to grasp the danger of alerting their ultimate enemy to their existence before they had disabled all of its defences.

The king then headed deeper into the gardens, carefully eyeing the rabbids incase they got tired of mischief and attacked them while slowly recollecting most of his army as he traveled till they all reunited at the location of the unconscious roadhog. Now with everyone back together there where a couple of things to deal with.

First was a bit of scouting information arriving from Blazermate about the source of the distant sounds of combat, namly a butt load of robots. The healer’s description made them sound a lot nastier than anything the squad had faced so far but the king was sure they could handle it regardless, He just needed to avoid being shot in the face in the process. “GOOD TO KNOW. NO SIGN OF GENO FROM UP THERE?” he asked, a somewhat concerned about the fact that the wooden doll had not been seen since he blasted off away from them way back at the crossroads.

“OH GOOD YOU’RE NOT DEAD.” was bowser’s main response to the return of the beat up cowboy and the poetry ninja, but he was interested to see the results of one fourth of the master’s explained uses for souls. The grenade launcher was quite the impressive piece of work, though it was a little surprising to see the cowboy toss it to the tiny furry man instead of keeping it for himself. Not much of an explosives guy perhaps? Regardless, more firepower was more firepower no matter whose hands it was in.

Speaking of more firepower Bowser turned his attention to the fat man whom the Master was reviving. The bulky brute was rather a dramatic waker, pushing his weight around and demanding answers. A man after Bowser’s own heart it seemed, but the king was quick to try and force his will upon the man to get him to get in line with his plans.

“WELCOME TO THE NEW REALITY. IT’S MADE OF ALL THE OLD ONES AND THAT THING.” bowser pointed skywards to Galeem “IS THE GLUE HOLDING EM EM ALL TOGETHER. WANT TO GET HOME BACK TO NORMAL? SEE YOUR... PIGLETS OR WHATEVER EVER AGAIN?” the king gesture to himself with a clawed thumb “THEN YOUR WORKING FOR ME.”

The with the natural order of things seemingly firmly set in place the next issue to deal with was the bout of clamoring about kirby’s absence that began to grip the party. The king felt slightly guilty moment to realise he had accidentally misplaced their savior before his attention was brought to the thieving rabbids by people paying more attention to their surroundings than him.

“GAH! THEY HAVE MY HAT!” He started, before hastily adding “ALSO PROBABLY KIRBY?” before any further shouting was cut off by the thunderous sound of Michel’s sniper rifle. Seeing others racing ahead of him again king acted as if the sniper shot had been a Starting Pistols and began a thumping jog after the rabbids.

@DracoLunaris So uh... I wonder how Bowser would react to see his nemesis once again :P


If geno manages to free him then I sense another colab coming on :D

Level 1 EXP: //////////////////// (6/20)
Location: 1-1, Ancient Gardens
wordcount: 1,316


Shouting at:
@Stekkmen The Centurion
@Delta44 Minako
@thedman Michael
@LugubriousTora/the Master of Masters
@Archmage MC Blazermate

As the others went off either to scout ahead or talk to the master bowser stomped about their first battlefield sweeping up the souls of his minions and sneezing each time someone in the distance payed him an unheard compliment about his supposed niceness. Near the end of his cleanup Tora returned and regaled him with an explanation of what the master had said, one that was elongated to a length that the king had to assume was a far size greater than the actual explanation thanks to the hamster cat thing’s characteristic meandering manner of speech. The part of his plan involving the short version may have failed, but the king had nonetheless succeeded in the main goal of gathering up his minions, and the pockets of his white jacket where now positively glowing from within as a result of them being filled to the brim with souls, Koopas on the left, Goombas on the right. The king mused about where to put the two hammer bros while he took in Tora’s explanation.

“OH… THAT’S A BIT MORE THAN I THOUGHT” was his rather flat response to learning the universe had been destroyed and recreated in Galeem’s image. “I’VE SEEN THAT HAPPEN TO A GALAXY BEFORE THOUGH, SO IT’S NOT THAAAAAT IMPRESSIVE” The king continued in order to downplay their enemies massive achievement while referencing the time a galaxy rector he had made accidentally devoured the entire galaxy. Or maybe it had been the entire universe? At any rate the princess Rosalina and her luma’s had done something to reset the whole thing to save all of existence. Bowser’s magikoopa advisor/foster father Kamek had tried to explain what had happened to him in the aftermath, but Bowser had more or less brushed him off to go try and conquer the galaxy again, this time involving a plan involving a more controlled galaxy eating machine and having peach make him a very big cake that would match the building sized form he had had at the time. Galaxy conquest failed the second time around too naturally, but at least the universe did not need resetting another time, and the king subsequently returned to more grounded schemes like kidnaping pixi like beings, building a theme park and while wearing a catsuit, or going around the globe acquiring the ingredients for a perfect wedding on the moon.

The rest of the explanation passed without further comment as Bowser did his level best to internally translate his messenger’s semi incoherent rambling into useful info. He was going to have to mull over the implications of the souls but Tora’s final comment was something he easily grasped. “THIRTEEN BOSSES TO OPEN THE WAY HUH? YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY CLASSIC BAD GUY STUFF. THEY’RE GONNA REGRET BRAWLING WITH THE BIGGEST, BADDEST BOSS OF THEM ALL THAT’S FOR SURE.” he smirked before turning his attention to the rest of his returning troops. Linkle was the first to arrive with a bottle of goomba souls which she emptied out into the kings claw and telling him to “put them in his heart” so they could come back before plonking the bottle in the hands of Tora and sprinting off.

“WHAT KIND OF SAPPY MAGIC IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?” he grumbled before shaking his head dismissively at such an un-villionouse prospect and popping the souls in with the other goomba souls. He proceeded to steal the bottle from Tora after the master gallivanted on past them to almost get himself squished and putting the two hammer bro’s souls in it before depositing the container inside the koopa pocket, keeping everything nice and organized. With that he turned his attention to the various people who had not raced on through level 1-1 while he had been distracted. The main thing he recognised, other than the fact that a lot of people had apparently gone ahead without waiting for his slow ass, was that some of the people left where not going to be making it over this introductory stage unassisted, namly Tora, who was upfront with it, and the new human girl who looked to be in no state to be doing any physical exertion despite Blazermate’s ministrations. If it weren't for the fact that sofar all of the new troops had proven themselves useful he might have just abandoned her there, or that is what the king told himself anyway. As it was he gave her the most basic of inductions into his forces “I’M BOWSER. YOUR IN MY ARMY. WE’RE GOING TO BEAT THE GALEEM”

With that settled the king gave a slightly over dramatised groan to indicate his displeasure with the prospect he was about to suggest “AND I GUESS I’M GIVING LIFTS AGAIN. ONCE WE CAPTURE PEACH’S CASTLE YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO JUMP PROPERLY”

After a few moments the king was loaded with passengers, one given a secure fireman’s carry while the others making do with taking perches on his shell, and was then ready to get underway



The king took a brief moment to rolled his shoulders and stamped his feet in warm up to this next bout of exertion before thundering down the approach towards the pit and the thwomp. Unable to go under the great block due to his size, as it would likely result in hims scrapping passengers off his shell like a truck going beneath a too low bridge, the king instead leaped up at the thwomp with a slow gravity defying leap. With his free claw he grabbed a corner of the great stone obstacle and then proceeded to hauled him atop it, the koopa carefully avoiding squishing anyone off in the process. The thwomp glared angrily at the heavy load that had mounted it, the king himself being only somewhat smaller than it, yet it was unable to do anything about its former master’s insulting position, anchored as it was with its lot in life. The simple mind of the massoned living weapon fumed as the king hopped down from it, landing at near the master with a heavy thump.

“YOU. SMART GUY. KEEP MOVING AND TELL ME WHO THE 13 BUTTS I GOTTA KICK BELONG TOO.” he ordered as he stood next to the master in prime boarding position.

The king then proceeded through the rest of the course, vaulting across chasms, collecting more minion souls, and smashing blocks until he came to the end, making his way by a flagpole that promptly raised a banner with his emblem on it in response to his passing, and arrived at the joining point of the three paths they could have taken. After allowing a moment for his passengers to get off bowser advanced into the ancient gardens to be confronted by yet more familiar faces.

“OH GREAT. THESE THINGS” He groaned before clarifying “I WENT ON VACATION ONE TIME AND WHEN I CAME BACK MY SON HAD RECRUITED THESE RABBIDS TOO FIGHT MARIO AND THEY MADE A HUGE MESS OF THE KINGDOM IN THE PROCESS” he left out the part where he had been possessed by some cyber phoenix thing that had seemingly been the true mastermind of the whole event on his return home and had to be saved by mario, green-stach, peach, mario’s dino dad and a bunch of rabbits cosplaying as the four “IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD ATTEMPT THOUGH.” he mused sentimentally before a look of concern crossed his face. He worried about how JR was faring in this misbegotten world. Bowser might be a repeated mindconsole victim but his son had been spared that fate until now. He assured himself that the boy was made of tough stuff like his old man was and then resumed forward progress, slowly stomping his way past the distracted rabbids with renewed purpose, heading for his love’s castle and the sounds of battle that echoed around it.
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