Member
Oso
Konan375
Sep
Echotech71
BrokenPromise
Fetzen
mickilennial
Force and Fury
Appearance: Keri wears a red ribbon which sticks out in with her dark brown hair. She has ruby red lips naturally from her time as a human. She wears a wooden carving of a wolf which was made by her brother before her family’s untimely death. She is Narsean human which helps this sentimental object take attention off her red eyes. A tattoo of thorned vine on her hand which hides under her tunic sleeve is a symbol of her parents. Keri has three swords with her, two tied with her other male family members and her main on to her mother.
A few questions, which might help with your description Angel. How tall is she, average (like 5'8" to 5'9"), short or tall? Is she thin/petite, muscular or plump in figure built? What does she usually wear? The wooden wolf, is on a necklace, belt or pinned to her tunic? What is she carrying normally on her person?
On her 21 birthday her family was slaughtered by Wild Mages. On instinct she fought back not knowing the real race of her attacker. Keri never knew she was bitten by a vampire until a constant headache to sunlight for the hours of the days. In a panic she headed to her long lost friend’s last know location, which helped her begin the journey to discover her powers as well as leaving a masked thirst for revenge.
This part sounds a bit like you're trying to do several ideas at once while not clearly stating what attacked her. First off, @Rtron is she alright being connected to Wild Mages? Two, here's my suggestion if you're wanting both vampire and wild mage connections: I suggest her family originally being attacked by a nest, group or whatever first then left for dead or possibly got away where she collapsed. Then a Wild Mage, possibly a NPC of Rtron's Wild Mage could've found her and helped her some before she was sent off? It's an idea and possibly one the GMs can toy with to weave a nice fun plot cookie.
In addition, a few details over how she managed to get from point A (Was she Eania, Djarkel, or another city? Here's a map!) to the college. Also, what did her parents do? Even a little bit on them would be great as it might help enlighten us to what she's like and how she was raised, like if she grew up poor or rich, did she learn to work at a young age or never worked a day in her life. Stuff like that to give us an idea of how her life influenced her.
She doesn't mind sharing her past even though the memory brings back pain in her chest. Keri acts cold but in all reality is soft hearted. She’s kind to everyone she meets and is not afraid to show it. Keri has a bad habit of saying things in a cruel manner but does encourage others to correct and most times that their interpretation of her words to no offense. Keri learned to be quick in her thoughts as well as her mind which helps her out in very sticky situations.
This section seems to be more suitable for Attributes, both good and bad, as the history is suppose to explain why she's like that. You have one other section that does it, but I could easily overlook it because it also had history explaining it a bit. Its common mistake though and I don't think I made it clear so I might need to do that soon when I repost the CS. Also, when or how did she get the tattoo or wolf, both items seem rather important not to be an event in her history. Namely why are they so important to her?
Good Attributes: easy going, observant, helps those who are in trouble, soft hearted, kind, mostly cool headed, great of getting out of sticky situations, tries to avoid violence, to avoid violence when she can
Bad Attributes: sunlight, hatred against wild mages, keeps feelings in check, which let out the outcome is dangerous, for whoever is in her way, cruel manner of speaking
Secret Word: rebirth
Few corrections, Wild Mages aren't well known in the world so she might not know it was Wild Mages that attacked her. Rather she could have a slight paranoia of mages who used the same blood magic or mages in general, even one of other vampires due to her attack and merely distrusting of strange mages. Also, merely just use tries to avoid violence when she can works for good attributes. Also, developing blood lust should be another negative. Her watchful nature is a positive one which allows her to quickly learn and make easily assumptions that could her, aka attention to detail.
These are the main issues, but besides that, the CS looks pretty good. My suggestion, recall what you did with your Esyire idea earlier and go into that much detail is a good idea.
